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Dating when you are ugly or unattractive or at least feel like you are may be difficult. Couple that with the stats provided by dating apps and the fact that women naturally consider 85% of all men unattractive can feel like a daunting prospect.
You're probably dealt a raw deal by society, and you may feel like you're constantly at a disadvantage. In this video, I'll share with you my analysis of the dating game and the solutions I've found for getting involved.
I'll analyze dating mechanics and reveal a simple solution to your problems. It is simpler than you think.
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0:00
Okay, first let me warn you that this is not a short video, nor a visual feast of special graphics or stock footage
0:08
So if you have a short detention spam, switch to YouTube shorts, because today we're going to talk about attractiveness, attraction, and how to date if you're unattractive or ugly
0:19
I want this to be usable to anyone, women or men. But given the nature of human procreation where women are the nurturers ensuring the survival of
0:29
of our species and as such their selectiveness is subject to a lot higher grade of assessment
0:36
and qualification of their potential sexual partners versus men who have always been around
0:42
just to spread their seed as far and wide as possible. Let me address this to men. After all
0:49
women generally believe that about 85% of all men are unattractive. And on dating apps, this number
0:58
is unfortunately even greater. There being said, I'm sure that a lot of women
1:03
a lot of you guys are there, will be able to still find this video quite interesting
1:09
especially if you don't mind the longer content. Now, we live in a literally, literal labyrinth
1:16
of complexities of modern dating. Life is fast-paced, and the demands on our sheer survival in these economies
1:22
are ever greater. This is why technology had such an easy point
1:27
of entry, waving its flag as a savior or mediator that would facilitate connections and work as an
1:34
efficient filter for hundreds or even thousands of potential sexual or life partners for many
1:42
Obviously, technology isn't capable enough to cope with the intricate nuances of human preferences
1:48
but we can safely say that it still serves its purpose quite sufficiently well
1:54
That is until you pause and you realize that we are in an environment where attraction serves as a constant undercurrent
2:02
And we find ourselves on a perpetual quest to decipher the enigma of human interaction
2:08
And this is exactly where particularly intriguing observations emerge. The notion that women might adopt a more discerning and selective approach when it comes to choosing their partners
2:21
Now, don't take me wrong. As I said at the beginning of this video, women have always been very selective and
2:28
rightfully so. If you were the one who would get pregnant, who could get pregnant and suddenly transform
2:36
your life and its outlook as well as introduce the immense demanding feeling of responsibility
2:43
for another human being towards which, in most cases at least, you feel an incredible
2:49
emotional connection too. you'd be very picky yourself as well. I mean, this is something I have partially mentioned in this video up here
2:59
So if you haven't seen it yet, go and watch it after this video
3:03
But stay until the end for now. So the notion that women frequently categorize a significant portion of men
3:09
as falling below the threshold of attractiveness is not new. But the rise in technological facilities such as social media and dating apps also revealed
3:20
something new while unveiling a thought-provoking facet of human perception. But it's not as simple as saying that because women find a vast majority of men unattractive
3:32
or that your personal experience left you where they saw a taste in your mouth
3:37
leaving you ready to straight up give up on the possibility of a life partner
3:42
It's actually far more important that we approach this observation with the nuanced
3:49
understanding that it actually deserves, recognizing that these assessments are born from a dynamic
3:57
interplay of both conscious and subconscious factors of our minds, of our brains. Now, picture
4:05
yourself, if you will, stepping into the shoes of an individual navigating the expansive
4:12
landscape of online dating today. I mean, how many apps do we have today? It's incredible. Envision
4:19
the act of swiping through a myriad of profiles, each one potentially holding the key to a profound
4:25
connection that could blossom into something transcendent for you, transformative for your life
4:32
The seemingly simple gesture of swiping left or right is essentially a powerful compression
4:40
of the intricate spectrum of human experience, mostly due to the fact that technology cannot
4:46
provide a more nuanced presentation of the other unseen qualities of its users or even
4:54
optimize for the possibility that you are just crap at taking care of yourself, your personal
5:01
hygiene or you are unable to take good photos or your features though may still be attractive and interesting or have redeeming qualities in life simply do not translate into this 2D shapes of photographs where you have mere milliseconds to
5:17
grab somebody's attention. It's unfair, isn't it? Now, let's take a look at the complexities of
5:23
this dance of selection a bit deeper. A dance composed of some kind of interworn threads of allure
5:33
and status because the better we understand this, the easier it's going to be for us to find a
5:40
solution to a problem such as how to date when you're objectively unattractive. So we all know
5:46
that the way we find people attractive is all about visual stimuli, orchestrated by our neural
5:55
networks that we have evolved over eons, shaping our perceptions and responses. Upon
6:03
encountering somebody new, your brain orchestrates a swift series of assessments. These
6:09
assessments are not limited to surface appearances. They delve into subtle cues that provide
6:16
insights into socio-economic statuses, confidence, and future prospects. And all of this is
6:24
happening in your subconscious, on your subconscious level, often very quickly, leaving you simply
6:31
with a response of yay or nay, swipe left or right. And given that women prefer to date somebody of equal or high status
6:41
I know that all of you who do not seem to be able to find a partner
6:44
or struggle to maintain relationships will immediately complain about just how unfair life is
6:51
and how picky women are. So let's assume for a minute that you or specifically a woman is somehow cursed
7:01
into connecting with somebody who might be perceived as less attractive or of lower status as
7:09
they are themselves. That somehow they are made to give a chance to such a man
7:14
Now we have to look at how human brain works, how it evolved its ancient mechanism used for the
7:22
selection of partners and actually focus on why this is so important when we're talking about
7:30
attraction. When we align ourselves with individuals who fall below our predetermined thresholds
7:38
of attractiveness or status, the internal circuits of our brain that gauge our position within
7:46
the hierarchy spring to life. This can then lead to a wavering of self-esteem and a sense
7:55
of uncertainty about our own standing within our social construct, within our communities
8:04
This internal turmoil is, however, not solely emotional. It's biochemical, influencing our
8:10
serotonin levels and consequently our emotional states. As we all know, lower serotonin levels
8:17
often lead to more negative thoughts, depression, etc. So this is why it's so important. But the
8:25
worst thing is that this downward spiral is not limited just to our personal experience
8:32
Our friends and families, they're all engaged in these sorts of subconscious and even
8:38
conscious assessments and judgments of others, of our partners. Their evaluations contribute to the
8:44
complex web of human dynamics, shaping our sense of self and our role within the social
8:51
structure that we navigate. It is exactly this intricate dance that encompasses notions of
9:00
attractiveness, status, and emotional responses that encapsulate the layers of complexity that are inherent in human nature. And look, I know how harsh this may sound, or how disheartening
9:15
it may appear, but that's simply because it is, at its core, a harmonious
9:21
fusion of ancient neural circuits, contemporary preferences, and the fluidity of human interactions
9:30
are by nature harsh. This is just the reality that we live in. This is what science talks about
9:37
when they say survival of the fitness. There's nothing to do with strength, nothing to do with your
9:43
physical fitness and everything with your ability to procreate and to ensure the genetic survival of your
9:51
own genetic makeup. So what can you do when you are on the lower spectrum of human
9:57
attractiveness? Where does that leave you? And is there even a chance for you to change it? Is there
10:04
a chance to turn it around And this may surprise you but the answer is very simple And that a yes And look this is not me pandering to you or trying to give you some false hope This is not what this video is about This is about objective truth
10:25
First of all, don't use dating apps or at least use them solely as a tool to boost your chances, not as a primary source of human connection
10:37
The reason is simple. Some dating apps will use fake profiles of very attractive people
10:42
Mostly women though, because men are objectively far more likely to use dating apps for the actual purpose of connection and are likely or more likely to pay for the premium profiles compared to women who often use dating apps for fun or just a confidence boost or just for some casual reasons
11:05
After all, as I mentioned in my last video, women have a far easier entry into the dating pool than men
11:12
So dating app companies will see these apps with fake attractive women profiles and intentionally
11:18
match them with men who have recently downloaded the app and started a new profile
11:23
They almost immediately match with an attractive woman, or at least a woman that they swiped on
11:29
and then they usually have a couple of conversational exchanges, usually powered by AI that obviously
11:38
lead nowhere. The point is that this marketing exercise, in a way is very much akin to chasing the dragon, which is a term from drug usage
11:47
giving you a little hit and then getting you to chase the ideal for the rest of your life
11:53
So if you want more success, leave dating apps behind and use them only as a
11:59
as a complementary tool to your real-life dating, something that, for instance, I didn't have
12:05
back in my time. Not only the probability of you being far more attractive in life is a like
12:11
greater. There are ways you can instantly improve your own attractiveness level, for instance
12:17
through your personal care, whether hygiene, your health, your fitness, which are all very
12:24
significant when it comes to finding a partner. But you can also work on your own competence
12:30
your own confidence, practice approaching women or men if you're a woman, getting a few
12:35
notches under your belt. And if there are some fails, so be it. Nobody becomes good
12:41
at anything without actual practice. And by accepting the fact that you need to fail
12:46
and that you need to change your personal relationship with failure and find a way to learn from it
12:52
and to empower your strides forward, is something that you need to practice all the time
13:00
Ultimately, there is infinitely more that you can do to improve your attractiveness status
13:05
let's say, as an unattractive man in real life, than on dating apps
13:10
And look, the fact that, that women date equal or up is not something you should feel bad about
13:17
More often than not, they're looking to equalize the economic disparity that exists
13:22
And this is something we're all aware of. Women often take a harder hit from sex and possibility of pregnancy than men
13:29
And this is simply a way for them to equalize that. So if women are looking for somebody who is competent and generous
13:37
because competence is often reflected in one's intelligence and some general cognitive abilities
13:44
while generosity is, you know, it's not because they're looking for somebody with money
13:50
but somebody who can provide well. And it's not because they're greedy, but simply because they're going to put themselves in a more vulnerable position if they have a child
14:01
So it's sort of a need for them. And this actually applies to more successful and affluent women as well
14:08
But the sheer fact that we understand how these things work, that there are resources and ways to learn and self-educate
14:16
and improve ourselves based on these sort of information gives anyone a chance to find a way to climb the attractiveness ladder
14:25
It's not something that is unachievable. And no, nobody is saying that if you are ugly
14:32
you will suddenly become the most handsome man on the planet. That's just not going to happen
14:37
I'm not going to tell you that. But you can vastly improve your own chances and improve your own confidence
14:43
which further gives you an edge as well as more personal and emotional fulfillment
14:49
happiness, and a sense of contentment in life. Now, my last point is something that has probably been beaten to death by a lot of people on YouTube
15:00
who are often fairly successful in dating life. There are plenty such examples
15:06
I'm not going to go over them. I mean, look at the cross-section of some of the most famous pickup artists
15:13
And you'll find that some of the most objectively successful ones are less or barely average on the subjective scale of attractiveness They not the Adonis type Attractiveness is more than just how you look physically It also about how you carry yourself The things that come out of your mouth
15:33
and not only what you say, but how you say them, how your project their thoughts and ideas with the rest of your body as well
15:42
It's not just what you say. You could be the most attractive male on the planet
15:48
And yet, if you don't know how to talk to women, you will turn them off sooner rather than later or at best end up being used for some surface
15:58
level pleasure satisfaction that's one super attractive male done engaging with someone in an
16:05
environment like a coffee shop a street or even a bar presence an opportunity to discuss
16:11
elements of your surroundings the opportunity to be subversive surprising and playful
16:17
By artfully incorporating these observations into your initial interactions, you exhibit social awareness, confidence and courage
16:28
This is the dance that I talked about in the beginning. This is the place where you have a chance to go far beyond the limitations of photography or video that appears on dating apps
16:41
Unlike it is in the case of minimal courage required for swiping right or left
16:47
on dating apps, interacting face-to-face demands genuine fortitude, especially if you don't fit society's conventional standards of attractiveness or beauty
16:59
This is yet another thing that once mastered will not only contribute to your personal
17:04
subjective feeling of increased attractiveness and confidence, but this ability to step out
17:12
and say hi while others waver gives you an edge and instantly differentiate
17:17
you, even in the eyes of women. So the decision is yours
17:22
Will you blame nature, women, men, or commit to some personal improvement
17:28
Will you harbor bitterness and delve deeper into your shell of unhappiness and personal despair
17:36
or cultivate growth and strive for something much better? It demands immediate action
17:46
It's not something you can postpone. Establish goals, commit to physical fitness and explore your own passions
17:54
Look for your happiness far beyond dating. Look for happiness in your own personal life as well
18:01
Blaming external factors isn't productive. Acknowledge that while the odds might not be entirely in your favor
18:09
real life encounters offer a different narrative. Disconnect from the online world
18:15
delete the apps or just use them on the side and venture out to meet people in person
18:21
Give yourself an edge. Give yourself a fighting chance. And while facing up to the daunting statistics provided by dating apps or your personal experience
18:31
and your personal incredulity, life isn't devoid of challenges for women either
18:37
Up to 50% of women are childless by the age of 30
18:42
Indicating a parallel set of challenges for us. them in addition to the struggles they have already mentioned in the beginning part of this video
18:50
As a man, the process of earning attraction, forming connections and working towards self-improvement
18:56
makes life more fulfilling. Consider whether you prefer to receive everything effortlessly or earn it through
19:06
effort and growth. And remember, if you are a man, time is ultimately on your side. Personal growth
19:15
and delayed immediate gratification replaced by the pursuit of some personal betterment is a function
19:23
of time that improves your odds. But so is aging, which unfortunately for women and the level of
19:31
their attractiveness in a dating pool diminishes over time. So if you feel like blaming women for being
19:38
selective, trust me, there is nothing to envy them. Because ultimately they go through far
19:45
more personal stress when it comes to dating over time than men
19:51
There's nothing to envy them or blame them for. This is why women begin seeking qualities like humor and compatibility as they approach 30
20:01
shifting the dynamics of attraction. Suddenly men who previously when unnoticed find themselves in a much greater demand
20:12
Your value increases with time and self-improve. while women's value tends to decrease as they age regardless of their professional monetary value
20:21
Self-improvement can increase your chances. Although this can occasionally lead to other complexities, focusing on personal development and delaying instant gratification will ultimately provide you with a distinct advantage
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