Do you ever wonder "I'm missing my boyfriend too much" and you have no idea why you actually miss him so much? Do you ever wonder whether you miss your boyfriend so much and whether you could potentially sabotage your relationship? After all, too much of everything can easily go bad very quickly.
In this episode, we'll look at whether you actually miss your boyfriend too much and what you can do to combat it.
Related article:
I Miss My Boyfriend So Much – Is That Healthy?
https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/15224/i-miss-my-boyfriend/
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0:00
We've all been there. Things are going really well. You're completely taken by your boyfriend
0:03
and sometimes you feel like you can't even stop thinking about him. You can't wait to see him again
0:08
And when you are together, you feel like you don't want to separate to get on with anything else. You literally become one of those guys. It's romantic and cute, but when does it become too much
0:17
Is there a limit that you should be aware of? Well, it's all ready to just how much of this love and excitement you and your boyfriend can and want to handle
0:23
But my role of the fun would be this. If you're starting to get anxious when you're not of your boyfriend or you're intensely missing as soon as he leaves your company
0:28
you might have formed an unhealthy attachment to him. And even though you might think this does not apply to you
0:33
it is a relatively common issue. Any kind of unhealthy attachment could point to some underlying issues
0:38
that you need to be addressed. So let's turn this on its head first and consider what is normal when it comes to missing your boyfriend first
0:44
We all know that every relationship is different, which means that there's a clear cut and definite answer
0:48
that just does not exist. The main thing to notice is how you feel when you're not with your boyfriend
0:53
It's normal to feel a bit lonely after spending a lovely time with someone you really care about
0:57
If you hit severe lows or obsess over them in their absence, you might want to look a little bit deeper
1:01
If you're in a long-distance relationship, it's pretty stand to miss your boyfriend quite a bit of the time
1:06
You might not have seen each other for a little while, or you might still be getting used to not living with them after spending a lot of time together before one of you moved
1:13
Either way, it's normal to think about your boyfriend throughout the day and listen. If you regularly see and chat to your boyfriend, however, it's slightly different
1:20
Well, it may be normal to want to chat to them when you're not with them or send them a text about something funny that happened and just generally keeping in touch
1:27
It shouldn't feel as though you need to talk to them at all times. It should not feel like you are the one who's constantly asking for their attention in the way
1:33
initiating contact and leading the conversation. So let's take a bit deeper into the attachment
1:38
I put together a quick non-exhausted list of some things to keep an eye out for
1:42
You constantly check in with them. You get upset when he doesn't reply straight away
1:47
You obsessively check his online status or Instagram stories for updates You skip commitments with others in order to see him You plan everything around him If any of these applies to you we really need to look at the reason why you actually miss your boyfriend all the time
2:00
Some of the possible causes could be that. You're insecure in the relationship. If you think you have an unhealthy attachment to your boyfriend
2:06
it might be because you're not feeling very confident in the relationship. That might be because it's early days
2:10
and you're not sure where you stand or because they don't explicitly tell you how much they want to be of you
2:14
as often as you would like them to. That means that you're not quite sure where you stand
2:18
and you feel quite anxious, which can make you miss them and want to be around them just to get the
2:22
sense of security and to feel loved. You've been cheated on in the past. If you've had a partner
2:27
let you down or betray you in the past, you might find it's hard to fully trust someone. While that can
2:31
manifest as you're pushing them away, it can also present you needing to be around them all the time
2:36
That is partially due to trust, as you want to keep tabs on them, but it's also because you form
2:40
very strong bonds with people that you do trust. You're lonely and here's your comfort. If you're
2:45
having a tough time or don't have any close friends or family members around you, you might be
2:49
turning to your boyfriend for 100% of your comfort and love. Normally this needs will be filled by
2:54
various people, including your partner. But because you're up expecting 100% of it from one person
2:59
you've developed an unhealthy attachment to them and crave their company all the time. You're
3:03
overwhelmed with love. If you feel like you want to be with your boyfriend all the time and really
3:08
miss him as soon as you're gone, it might be because you are so in love. This is common for people
3:12
in the first relationship or in the early days of dating someone where things feel so. intense. Your feelings can seem overwhelming at times and you go for a phase of infatuation
3:21
or borderline obsession as your feelings rapidly grow for your partner. This will be normal or
3:26
die down over time and is manageable. The relationship has shifted. If you are used to seeing
3:30
your boyfriend a lot and then drop down to seeing him less, it is normal to miss him a lot more
3:34
When we're used to spending so much time with someone, it's normal to feel sad and miss
3:38
them when they leave as it feels like a big gap in our lives Going for a mini grieving phase is normal but it can become an issue if it lasts a long time or starts to negatively impact your well or theirs So now that we decided that you probably have an unhealthy attachment to your boyfriend
3:52
and you have a rough idea of the reasons why, let's look at some of the things that you could do
3:56
to get it back to a healthier level. Work on your love language. One of the first things you should do is talk to him
4:01
Let him know how you feel and let's see how he feels about you. Consider the ways you display your love and how his love is manifested for his actions and his behaviour
4:09
Talk to him about what might make you feel. more secure. This should help you discover your love languages together. If you often feel lonely or
4:16
really miss your boyfriend as soon as he's left your company, you might need to hear him tell you
4:20
how much he cares about you a little bit more often, or it might help if he shows you how much he loves
4:23
you through his actions. But remember that he is not solely responsible for how you feel and he should
4:28
not be required to change his personality just to accommodate your needs. Build up your life
4:33
If you find that you miss your boyfriend all the time, it might be because you don't have enough other stuff going on in your life. We've all done it at some point. You meet someone great
4:41
so you start spending more time with them and slowly start spending less time at the gym or with friends
4:45
or in your own just enjoying your own downtime. It's natural to want to build a life of your partner
4:50
Don't forget to keep some stuff for yourself. And you wouldn't believe just how much of that is also down to boredom
4:55
Every new relationship is capable of introducing so much novelty and excitement that we often forget about what it used to feel like before them
5:02
But once things level off, you start feeling bored, forgetting that you had a life before him and instead you'll feel dependent on the excitement and novelty your boyfriend brings
5:09
identifying the triggers for your feelings. You might notice that certain things trigger these intense rushes of missing your boyfriend
5:15
Maybe it happen more when you're very stressed or just after you've had a fight or even after
5:19
amazing time together. And whilst it's normal to have some fluctuations and peaks in the intensity of your emotions
5:25
it's worth keeping an eye on what causes those feelings and whether or not they're becoming a regular occurrence
5:29
Restrict yourself. Set some boundaries for yourself such as not texting them until they been gone for at least an hour for example Get used to limiting your thoughts and contact It may initially feel artificial or even contradictory to your feelings and emotions so don overdo it first but slowly get used to the fact that you don always have to be the one who keeps the contact
5:46
going. Obviously, we're all different. Some of us are colder, while others may be more proactive
5:51
and in many relationships one of the partners is always a leader, but that does not mean projecting neediness, practice level-headed approach. Keep going with this proactive, and you will start
5:59
to see some changes in the intensity of your feelings, as well as your actions. Communicate your
6:04
fears. If you think your feelings about your boyfriend are getting a bit too much or they're starting
6:08
to negatively impact your mental health, talk to him about what's going on. And if that's not an
6:13
option for whatever reason, talk to a friend or relationship counsellor. Allow yourself to be open about
6:18
your feelings, fears and insecurities and seek ways to manage them and straighten yourself. It's normal
6:23
to miss your boyfriend and it can be a sign that you're in a really great relationship and just want to
6:28
make the most of it. But if that starts to feel like your emotions are a bit out of control or you're just
6:33
becoming very depressed or anxious when you're not with your boyfriend, you're likely to be experiencing an unhealthy attachment. And guys, remember, when we suggest professional counselling
6:41
it's not because there's anything wrong with you, but simply because it could help you moderate your feelings in a way that is much more enjoyable for you. Also, these sorts of sessions
6:47
tend to be far more efficient than talking things over with friends and relatives who may be worried
6:51
about being straight with you. Pro would have seen and dealt with your sorts of situations many
6:55
times in the past and simply know what works and what does not work. For me, it's no-brainer. Dealing
7:00
with issues can take time, but most relationships do not have the time to deal with the issues long term before the negative effects start taking a toll
7:07
Efficiency is often a key to resolution and finding a solution is often a key to feeling content and happiness
7:13
Whatever you do, remember that we are always here for you. So good luck. Bye
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#Troubled Relationships
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