0:03
hello everyone and welcome to the let me
0:04
tell you my protein live event i'm
0:07
claire sanderson and i'm the
0:08
editor-in-chief of women's health and i
0:10
will be your host today with it being
0:12
mental health month this october we're
0:15
here to have an open and honest
0:16
conversation around mental health and
0:19
i'm going to speak to some of our very
0:20
own my protein athletes about the
0:22
challenges they have faced
0:25
before i get to the athletes and explain
0:26
to you how today is going to work i'm
0:29
a series of questions to the members
0:32
here today and they will step forward
0:34
and answer them individually before
0:37
so i'm going to get them to introduce
0:39
themselves to you from left to right
0:43
hi i'm joe fazer uh i'm a youtuber and
0:46
just like a guy who works out pretty
0:50
hi i'm farah franseka i'm england's
0:52
strongest women and strongest women in
0:54
the world for my weight class and also a
0:56
pt and become instructor
0:59
oh the tough to follow um ben holden the
1:02
following is my coach benji i run an
1:05
online fitness academy and host the
1:10
hi i'm sophie butler i am a online
1:12
content creator and a disability rights
1:17
hello i am emilia goldsmith also known
1:21
um and i am an influencer on online on
1:24
social media and promoting lots of
1:33
thanks everyone so we'll let's go on to
1:35
our first question does your physical
1:38
health impact your mental health
1:40
jonathan you would like to take that one
1:48
so yeah i would say that definitely like
1:50
my physical health does
1:52
impact my mental health and i've got a
1:54
great example because of why like back
1:56
in the day i used to be an extremely
1:57
extremely extremely skinny guy so to
2:00
emphasize that i was six foot two
2:02
weighing 50 kilos so severely
2:05
and my mental health was extremely low
2:07
like i just i felt horrible um
2:11
i would go out into the boiling hot
2:13
weather with a hoodie on track too so
2:15
i'm like double layered to make myself
2:18
um and yeah it felt really bad uh but
2:21
then i started hitting the gym i gained
2:25
uh felt a lot more confident in myself
2:27
and that inevitably inevitably
2:30
impacted on a positive
2:35
from working out so not only a physical
2:37
gain but also a mental gain
2:39
and would you say that your approach to
2:42
your holistic health has contributed to
2:43
your mental health so i would imagine
2:45
you've improved your nutrition in order
2:47
to gain weight healthily and get your
2:48
bigger size so that's a big thing like
2:51
if if there was a day where
2:56
bad for my mental health because i know
2:58
that physically it's bad for me if i'm
3:01
not eating much but then if i eat the
3:03
the calories i need to get in i ate
3:05
healthy once again i'd feel amazing and
3:09
just feel great about myself yeah great
3:11
thanks joey go back to your seat
3:14
so our next question have you
3:15
experienced a mental health issue and
3:18
are you okay to share that what it was
3:20
and what did it feel like who would like
3:27
great thank you millie
3:30
uh yes i have um experienced a mental
3:34
for the past eight years i was
3:39
and i wasn't diagnosed but i had an
3:41
eating disorder um so yeah very underway
3:44
um i also experienced a lot of like body
3:47
dysmorphia through that um
3:51
literally the past year
3:54
actually a year ago today
3:57
embarked on my weight gain journey and
3:58
i've gained 19 kilograms
4:02
and a whole lot of happiness and
4:06
life in me and personality um
4:10
but yeah i have dealt with a mental
4:11
health issue and it's really unfortunate
4:12
how common it is in today's society
4:16
so you talk very openly on instagram and
4:19
social media about your challenges and
4:24
journey to weight gain and i imagine
4:26
that must resonate enormously with your
4:28
quite sizable online following yeah it's
4:31
it's quite shocking how many people do
4:34
it's really lovely how they find it so
4:36
helpful because well i'm on my page and
4:39
i have this thing where i post like a
4:43
where people will try and complete in
4:45
their days so that could be facing a
4:50
opening up to their mum about
4:52
something that they're struggling with
4:54
it can be a very small thing but it can
4:56
make such a difference and
4:59
it really keeps them accountable as well
5:00
and it's just really nice for people to
5:03
find this positive message online
5:07
when i was dealing with my eating
5:10
nowhere to go to i couldn't find any of
5:13
this information i didn't know that
5:14
weight gain was a positive thing i
5:16
always saw it as something really
5:17
negative um but i'm i'm here today to
5:20
show that it's such a positive
5:22
amazing thing thank you thanks milly you
5:25
can go back to your seat
5:26
our third question what has worked for
5:29
you when you are working on your mental
5:30
health who's going to take that one
5:39
um so some of the things that i've
5:41
really used to help my mental health is
5:43
especially being in shrimp sports i've
5:45
used a sports psychologist and that has
5:47
helped so much i think it's very
5:50
difficult when you're getting into
5:52
training and you're getting into
5:53
becoming more of a competitor it's very
5:55
easy to compare yourself to others and
5:58
that can negatively impact how your how
6:01
your competitions go or how your
6:02
training can go so that has been
6:04
something that i've i've really utilized
6:06
over the last couple of years is uh
6:08
reaching out to psychologists and also
6:10
friends and family and actually speaking
6:12
out when you're when you're going
6:15
so you mentioned a sports psychologist
6:16
not everyone would have access to one so
6:18
what were the takeaways that um people
6:20
watching this could implement in their
6:22
lives so i think the main thing is just
6:23
to really try to focus on you it's so
6:25
easy you know with social media and you
6:28
know even when you're looking at other
6:29
people just to constantly compare
6:31
yourself to other people so
6:33
as difficult as it might be just taking
6:35
that first step to just focus on right
6:37
what can i do to make myself feel five
6:38
percent better each day or just to feel
6:40
that little bit better each day for
6:42
yourself rather than thinking about what
6:44
somebody else is doing so really just
6:46
honing in on yourself what can i do for
6:48
me each day is is the biggest thing
6:50
really so there's lots of research about
6:53
comparison culture and how it can be a
6:55
total menace on our mental health and
6:57
there must be days when you find
6:58
yourself comparing yourself to others
7:00
more than days when maybe you're feeling
7:03
much better about yourself um what
7:05
simple strategies do you put in place on
7:07
those days so it doesn't get
7:10
demoralizing and damaging get off my
7:14
like get off my phone get outside like
7:16
be in nature be with friends be with the
7:18
people that make you feel good uh
7:20
whether that's friends family whoever
7:23
get out of that world and come into
7:25
reality and live your life rather than
7:28
trying to live other peoples
7:30
and just remember all the pictures and
7:32
it's highlights yeah highlights and
7:37
thank you thanks very much
7:41
so our next question who has supported
7:43
you with your mental health and how did
7:47
who would like to take that one thanks
7:53
so with um better on my own mental
7:55
health i eventually spoke to a therapist
7:59
and the reason why i wanted to mention
8:01
therapist is i know that everyone
8:02
doesn't have access to one but i think
8:04
there's a stigma that comes around when
8:07
we're taught mental health and speaking
8:08
to therapists that there must be
8:10
something wrong with you to turn to
8:11
speak to a friend about something and i
8:13
think it's difficult to admit because
8:14
that almost puts you in a different
8:15
category we label ourselves but for me
8:18
having someone who was a professional
8:19
listener really just helped me
8:21
speak and open up to someone who was
8:24
going to be non-judgmental of things
8:28
i think for me being a guy
8:31
even my dad not being a person who
8:33
particularly expressed much emotion i
8:36
suppressed that a lot as well
8:39
so reaching out to someone was a big
8:40
deal for me but reaching out to a
8:42
therapist and kind of breaking down my
8:44
struggles my issues and my problems
8:47
really just helped and
8:51
one of those services which isn't
8:53
cheap and it is an expense but i think
8:56
like with like we say speaking about
9:02
commit financially to our own health and
9:03
fitness and we're very proactive with
9:06
that with all mental health very
9:08
so for me that was like a big part of
9:10
one of the pillars that i needed to look
9:11
after for that part of my life and is
9:14
this something you'll continue with or
9:15
was it something that you did for a
9:18
so at the time i was doing it for i got
9:20
a short intense block
9:22
yeah so i was doing therapy
9:27
as it started to help me more and more i
9:29
kind of started doing it once a month
9:31
and i was just implementing practices
9:33
that i'd worked on and strategies and
9:34
techniques to do so again being
9:37
more proactive rather than reactive with
9:39
it so that kind of better me for the for
9:41
the long run as well and setting those
9:42
foundations so you mentioned um being a
9:45
man and men are less likely to open up
9:47
to each other you mentioned that your
9:49
dad didn't particularly open up
9:51
is this something that you are doing
9:53
more now you've had therapy and
9:55
encouraging your your friends to do the
9:57
same yeah so i put a post about two
9:59
months ago talking about this as well
10:00
and like just talking and
10:06
pushing people to talk about more and
10:07
even dm and me and if even if i can't
10:09
get the answer to people because that's
10:10
something i think we've got to be
10:11
careful of is people giving the wrong
10:14
it may be very good intention but it
10:16
doesn't mean advice is correct but if i
10:18
can point people in the right direction
10:20
uh to the right guidance the right
10:21
therapist or whatever that may be just
10:23
talking and open up and speaking about
10:25
that is an avenue to then get people
10:27
into the right avenues whether you need
10:29
and just listening as well when people
10:31
say how are you often we just go here
10:33
fine without really answering honestly
10:36
and i think we all have a duty to listen
10:38
to the people around us as well be it
10:39
your your male friends your your
10:41
girlfriends regardless i think we all
10:43
need to speak more to each other i think
10:45
even asking that question twice
10:46
important though as well because guys i
10:48
think laughing just go yeah we're right
10:49
yeah but then asking someone how you
10:50
really are it's important to open that
10:52
dialogue up further yeah thank you
10:54
you're about to eat it
10:59
for some people mental health issues can
11:01
grow over time what are the signs for
11:03
you that your mental health is getting
11:05
worse we would like to take that one
11:15
hello um yes so i know for me a sign for
11:19
me where my mental health kind of
11:21
developed over time and it definitely
11:23
got worse over time um was actually this
11:27
and it was very interesting time for me
11:29
because i would say i've been always
11:30
been aware of having mental health
11:32
health issues since i was about 13. so
11:34
it's always been something that's been
11:35
on in my mind sometimes it's just been
11:37
at the back of my mind sometimes it's
11:38
been right at the forefront but
11:41
this year it was really triggered by it
11:42
i experienced a massive amount of
11:45
trolling on social media so it was on
11:48
one singular post it had to like 400 to
11:50
500 hate comments on it
11:54
you know you get hate comments every day
11:55
but dealing with it in that mass amount
11:57
such a short space of time it really
11:58
just knocked me for six um and i was
12:01
upset for a few days and then i just did
12:03
the i think maybe typical thing of like
12:05
that's fine get back to work you carry
12:07
on but i didn't realize over time like
12:11
that my mental health was like
12:14
over the time and i think i really
12:15
didn't actually notice it until i came
12:16
out of my what what happened to be an
12:19
emotional breakdown but i didn't realize
12:22
because it was i was realizing over the
12:24
last few months i hadn't been taking
12:26
care of myself in a way which i would
12:28
normally love to and i hadn't been
12:30
respecting myself and my body in the way
12:32
of which i think everyone deserves to um
12:35
so it was like little things like i used
12:37
to i mean i do now but i used to love
12:39
getting up at the gym but like like 5
12:41
a.m but there were nights where i
12:42
sometimes wasn't sleeping till 4am and
12:44
there'd be days where i felt like i
12:45
couldn't eat i couldn't prepare meals or
12:47
there'd be days where i'd want to eat
12:49
everything just not being the person
12:51
that i was i just really felt like a
12:57
it's a great answer i was just looking
13:00
what strategies did you put in place you
13:01
mentioned getting up early and
13:04
did you adapt your nutrition and
13:06
what what strategies do you put in place
13:08
now and going forward if you feel one of
13:10
those dark episodes coming on yeah so i
13:12
think for me from something that really
13:14
helped was getting up early for the gym
13:16
i know that everyone likes to do it and
13:18
that's like totally fine you don't have
13:19
to go for like 5 a.m to go to the gym to
13:21
have a good session but i really love
13:23
being up early i feel like it really
13:25
sets me up for my day and i don't like
13:27
it my alarm goes off this every day i
13:29
wake up and i think oh i'd much rather
13:30
be in my toasty bed but i know that once
13:33
i'm up and i'm starting my day i've had
13:35
like a productive start to my day but
13:36
i've also had a start to my day where
13:38
i'm doing something just for me so i'm
13:40
getting that like hour hour and a half
13:42
where i can just really dedicate time to
13:44
being a better version of myself i think
13:47
in everyone's everyday lives we give so
13:49
much to other people whether that's in
13:51
work in relationships with families or
13:53
whatever it is we give so much of
13:54
ourselves to everyone else yeah i like
13:56
starting my day knowing that this is for
13:59
you and that only for you
14:01
we have to prioritize ourselves and then
14:03
we are better at everything else whether
14:05
that's being a partner a manager or
14:07
sister absolutely thank you sophie thank
14:12
so our next question
14:15
let's give sophie a chance to get back
14:18
what do you think could be done to
14:20
normalize talking about mental health
14:23
who would like to take that one
14:32
um so i think the main thing that could
14:34
be done to normalize talking about it is
14:37
firstly to start talking about it um
14:39
obviously events like this is fantastic
14:42
actually speaking to real people
14:43
interviewing them talking about it
14:47
you know i think it has such a it's such
14:49
a big term and so many it's kind of like
14:51
such a big umbrella term and so much
14:53
comes underneath that and i think if
14:55
everyone does their part to actually
14:56
start talking about the individual
14:58
different types of mental health um then
15:01
that's already that's going to be a
15:02
great step in stepping stone to to do
15:06
and speaking openly about it and maybe
15:08
more high-profile people coming forward
15:10
which they are yeah absolutely and being
15:12
open and honest and and setting an
15:14
example to people who may be struggling
15:16
yeah absolutely i agree definitely thank
15:25
um something as well i think you know
15:26
you made some fantastic points something
15:27
i also i think is absolutely fundamental
15:30
and that we need to get better as a
15:31
country is not just raising awareness
15:34
but also funding the services that are
15:36
behind it um because we know there has
15:38
been so many cutbacks across the nhs and
15:41
but particularly to mental health
15:42
services and it's all well and good you
15:44
know raising awareness but like we spoke
15:46
about a lot today a lot of people don't
15:48
have access to therapy um and i think
15:51
there was like one statistic where it's
15:52
like a 12-week wait for for therapy um
15:56
if you are on the edge that is you you
16:00
might not be here to get to your
16:01
appointment in 12 weeks i think that is
16:02
something that is really really
16:05
not just with mental health but with
16:07
everything that we talk about to make
16:08
sure it's not just lip service and that
16:10
the government and that people who are
16:12
funding mental health services really
16:14
understand that if we we want to talk
16:17
about how important mental health is we
16:19
need to be showing how important it is
16:21
by putting the money into those services
16:23
and it's not just mental health it's all
16:24
health in my opinion because funding has
16:27
been cut for sports but we all know if
16:29
you are active and you move your body
16:31
you're much more likely to feel better
16:33
mentally as joe has already said so it's
16:36
a valid point but i think there must be
16:38
more funding holistically into health
16:39
and then maybe we wouldn't be in the
16:41
mental health crisis that we seem to
16:42
find ourselves in at the moment yeah i
16:51
so the next question is what do you say
16:53
to people who think mental health is a
16:56
myth they think it's uh it's in your
16:58
head if i want of a better phrase it's
16:59
not real it's not a physical illness
17:12
what do you have to say to people who
17:14
think mental health is a
17:19
so i think that a lot of people
17:23
are very blunt to assume that and and
17:26
there's a lot of people like that
17:28
a lot of individuals feel uh don't
17:31
differentiate between someone just
17:35
and mental health problems um so i know
17:38
a lot of people who don't go through it
17:40
like myself not i've not really suffered
17:43
that bad uh for through any mental
17:49
who have suffered very severely
17:51
and then other friends of mine have just
17:54
just man up or something like that and
17:55
it's a very common common phrase i went
17:58
to an all boys school just to give
17:59
context uh to this scenario
18:04
and i'd say that just like more
18:05
information needs to be
18:07
put out there about it
18:09
and uh i'm kind of lost words now so
18:12
someone else wants to take over
18:19
well it's a mental health mental illness
18:22
because we all have mental health it's
18:23
mental illness can be a very physical
18:26
manifestation you know we've all
18:27
described very physical symptoms that
18:30
we've experienced as a result of mental
18:32
illness and i think if anyone's going to
18:34
say it's a myth well that's a complete
18:38
tell that to the person who can't get
18:39
out of bed and who can't eat or was
18:42
overeating or was under eating and
18:44
you know so it's it's that's that's a
18:47
stereotype that we definitely have to
18:49
smash down every time we hear it
18:51
right so our next question
18:54
how is working on your mental health
18:55
change the way you live your life
19:09
that's a big question
19:11
i can't really go off my own experience
19:17
being underweight it really really
19:19
massively affected my mental health and
19:21
i was really really struggling
19:24
and now that i've gained weight it's
19:26
completely changed my life like
19:29
when i was struggling with my mental
19:31
health it was like everything was just
19:35
i it impacted my relationships
19:39
myself was just a person i was very like
19:43
very dull inside i had no personality i
19:45
had no humor um i was going through it
19:48
when i was at uni so
19:50
obviously i was with lots of people and
19:52
i i had a lot of anxiety around people
19:54
and lots of social anxiety um
19:57
i mean people make like jokes and i just
19:59
i didn't respond to them i had no
20:00
personality whatsoever so now that i can
20:02
compare myself now to how i was then
20:05
it's like a completely different person
20:08
with that my whole life has changed like
20:11
i'm so much more positive which means
20:14
believe in myself to do things i want to
20:16
do which then makes me do those things
20:17
and achieve the things i've always
20:26
i guess with that your life changes with
20:27
that like you really do
20:29
start to gain lots of confidence and
20:33
change your life it sounds like you got
20:35
your life back yeah i have i never
20:37
realized i lost it and like now i've
20:40
realized how much i missed out on before
20:43
and it's it's just it's crazy for me to
20:44
think that i did that for eight years
20:47
and through those eight years there were
20:49
such fundamental years in my life
20:50
because i was growing up and becoming a
20:54
um and i just formed
20:56
into such a different person and the
20:58
person i didn't want to be um
21:00
but now i can look back and be thankful
21:04
it's very positive and you need to hold
21:06
on to the wonderful person yeah that you
21:08
are only look forward and up absolutely
21:12
all right for our next call we are going
21:15
to canada i'm hoping the technology
21:20
you bear with me if i pop this in my ear
21:23
i should be able to hear them
21:26
so we have energy fitness
21:36
hello him how are you today and you're
21:38
joining us all the way from canada
21:41
i am i'm doing very well thank you good
21:44
good well thank you so much for joining
21:46
our live stream today i have a question
21:49
for you if that's okay
21:51
from your experience with your mental
21:53
health what's one piece of advice you
21:55
would give to those listening today
21:59
one thing that i would advise to
22:01
everyone is to be bold to be proud and
22:06
because we are so told to be this or
22:09
that or something that
22:11
they think we should be
22:13
and i haven't been my happiest until
22:16
i've lived my truth as myself so as a
22:21
within the trans community i think it's
22:23
very important to be yourself and to
22:30
be there for yourself and to uh yeah
22:36
live your truth and be the best you can
22:39
and forgive me i forgot to ask you to
22:41
introduce yourself you just touched upon
22:43
a few aspects of yourself in your answer
22:46
but if you could just give a brief
22:48
introduction so the the people watching
22:50
um know exactly who you are and why
22:53
you're linked to my protein
22:55
yes of course so my name is em donkers i
22:58
run the energy fitness page on instagram
23:01
and youtube so i provide workouts to
23:03
people and workout plans and to help
23:06
them achieve the body that they've
23:09
always wanted or that they've always um
23:11
envisioned for themselves so whatever
23:15
like i said growing up like it's very
23:17
black and white and i wanted to be that
23:20
person that could show you could be born
23:22
as a female and still put on muscle
23:24
still have that strength and power
23:27
and not feeling like we need to
23:29
be what society has told us so i try to
23:34
people like me who want to be a bit more
23:37
muscular and strong and
23:40
that want to just live their life and be
23:42
happy as they are and be accepted in the
23:43
fitness industry so i also try to
23:46
advocate for the queer and trans
23:48
community and to yeah promote body
23:51
positivity and self-love
23:54
and you have a very empowering social
23:58
profile and platform but you must have
24:01
some of your audience reaching out to
24:03
you to share some of the mental health
24:05
struggles they may be going through when
24:08
they're trying to come to terms with
24:11
yes for sure they definitely have
24:13
expressed concerns about being accepted
24:15
at the gym or even going into change
24:17
rooms or gender neutral bathrooms if
24:19
they're not available like what what do
24:22
so definitely those are challenges that
24:24
we face and it's great to be there for
24:26
those people and to discuss topics like
24:28
top surgery and taking hormone
24:30
replacement therapy and things like that
24:33
you don't always have somebody there to
24:34
talk to so it's really nice to be that
24:36
support for everyone and for myself as
24:39
well because i'm going through
24:44
so being part of that community is
24:46
helping you as much as it's helping
24:49
yes i have been trying to translate my
24:51
journey to them so that we can all do it
24:55
wonderful well thank you so much for
24:57
joining me today em and that brings me
25:00
to the end of our panel thank you to our
25:02
guests and thank you for sharing so
25:05
openly today i've i found it
25:10
endlessly interesting and i'm sure that
25:12
the audience has done too so this is
25:14
time for me to draw the event to a close
25:16
thank you from myself and my protein bye