Justine Lupe Gets Real About Parenting and Life On Set | Who What Wear

We were in the bath together, and then I turned around to adjust the water temperature in the bath, and then I turned back around

This might be TMI. Hi, Justine. Thank you so much for joining me today

Hi. Thanks for having me. Well, the occasion of us being in this podcast studio is to celebrate your cover with us for our inaugural Who What Wear Parents issue

So cool. Well, you're wearing this, I don't know if you've seen the cover yet, but spoiler, it is a gorgeous pink Chloe dress

We chose that for the cover and you look phenomenal. Really? No, I haven't found out, I haven't found out what pictures you're using

So that's exciting though, because I love that dress. That is happening. And then when this airs, the next day, it'll be the eve of season two coming out of Nobody Wants This

which of course you star in and everybody I know watches the show and loves it

So it's an exciting moment for us. I'm glad that you're excited for me

I was about to say thanks for being excited on my behalf. I'm like, it's exciting for us here in this pod together

I appreciate it. So we'll talk motherhood and show and we'll just dive right in

Okay, great. I want to talk a little bit because it blends so perfectly with two things I want to touch on

Being pregnant while filming season one of the show. So my first question is how

No, because as far as I know, nobody has escaped the first trimester extreme fatigue where like you could fall asleep at any moment

You don't get to choose when you nap. Did you have that and how did you deal? So I actually got the job when I was in my first trimester

And then I started the job like right at the end of my first trimester

It was divine intervention in a real way because, yes, I felt like I had mono through my first trimester

I like could not get up. It was so, so tiring. So yeah, I really lucked out that it started

And then I was in like that amazing kind of reinvigorating second trimester, like renaissance moment

Like birds are singing. Yeah, totally. You're like, I can do anything. Yeah, it was a different, it was a very different experience than what I was experiencing a month prior

So yeah, I lucked out. That's good timing. But even still, like the energy of being on set all day, I'm sure that was intense

And I feel like you, in my mind, joined a class of women like Rihanna performing at the Super Bowl

Like, just moms are a different breed. Yeah. You know, I lucked out in that I got to experience Sarah Snook be pregnant all through Succession Season 4 and see what she could do

And I think there's something psychosomatic about knowing someone can do that kind of work

Yeah. It's like an expander kind of, you know. I felt good. I actually felt really good

I mean, the things that were hardest were like, you know, I would like eat a burrito and then like everything would just like pop open

Like my skirt would just be like on the ground and I'd be like, oh, no, I'm like expanding past the capacity of my clothes

So there was like a lot of adjusting that the costume department had to do like week to week to kind of catch up to my body growing

Yeah. It was more just that they would have fittings week to week

And every week was a different episode. Like it moves really quick

So we did 10 episodes in 10 weeks. Yeah, which was actually also a blessing because, you know, there wasn't too much time that I was like really, really pregnant on the show

But, yeah, they would bring me in every week, do a fitting, retry things on, refigure out how do we hide this in a different way

Because, you know, the bigger I got, the more creative they had to get about like, okay

You're asking a lot of us. Yeah, totally. But they were wonderful. They were really, really generous about navigating that whole process with me

I'm sure you became like best friends, like had to really like spend a lot of time. Yes. Nigar is like a very dear, dear person in my life

Yeah. They're all great. And speaking of your former co-star, Sarah Snook, I heard she gave you some parenting

advice, like wrote you a big thing. I read that somewhere. She's been a good friend through the whole thing

She wrote me when I got pregnant. She gave me some like really great podcasts to listen to for like the fourth trimester

which is postpartum. And then when postpartum came, she checked in on me

She wrote me another kind of like breakdown of you're so unprepared for what happens after you give birth

Like I did a lot of thinking about postpartum and she was really helpful in terms of being like you have nine months of pregnancy and you're going to get so much information about being a pregnant woman and people forget about what happens after you give birth

So I had like put my mind there, but there's just no like preparation possible for the impact of like what that is after giving birth

So she was just really helpful with like the little nitty gritty questions that I had

Like, how do we sleep at all? And like, how do I like, did you have any tips on like what my husband can do to help me out in the middle of the night

Like with the swaddling and the feeding and the breast. Like we're so hands on with the babies

and I think sometimes the guys are like, okay, how can I help? And I didn't even know what to tell him

So she was really helpful with that too. She's been great. Yes

Yeah. Yes. That's amazing to have. I feel like everyone has at least one fairy godmother

who's like gave birth somewhat recently-ish before and is still in like, they're like, oh my God

Oh, totally. Let me help you. Totally. I had a lot and I feel like I understand it now

that I'm on the other side because it's like you just, It's this hugely steep learning curve and you feel like proud of all the information that you gather and you really feel so much empathy for anyone who's about to go through it

So I feel like very available to any of my girlfriends. Like girls, I'm ready to go

If you have a baby, like I'm ready to talk. Right. And like I will be that person for you. And like pay it forward

It's like this fun cycle. Yeah. It's really sweet. And there were four people who were expecting pregnant during the filming of the first season, right, on set

So that's like some powerful mom energy. There's a lot of energy. Did you guys like commiserate together

Share advice. Erin and I talked a little bit, but it was less about like commiserating and more just

being like, wow, there are four pregnant women working in this capacity on set

Like how exciting that this is the day and age that we're in, that that's something that's

like so welcomed. To your point of, you know, the fact that here we are in 2024, 2025

And I feel like it was Lucille Ball and I Love Lucy who like wanted to either show her pregnancy or even say the word pregnancy

And it was super controversial. Wow. And so just to think. That's crazy

Yeah. Just to think how far we've come that like people were against it. And it was a big moment

And how much has changed since then. I know. I know. And I don't want to ignore that it's still, you know, after I said something about that last year

Like how wonderful it is that we're in a time that like Netflix was like behind it

Yeah. know, and that all the execs were like cheering me on and it was like really a warm reception

But I'm sure there are cases where that's not the case or someone does still feel a little bit

unsafe and it's such a shame and it's so tricky that women have to like think about these things

Even when people are welcoming about the whole process, like you still have to navigate literally

with logistics. Like, okay, if I want to have another kid, when can I be pregnant? When will

show. So it's funny that it's something that's like so part of our life. It's so intrinsic to

us all being here. And yet that it's like- Secretive and sometimes difficult

Sometimes Yeah And I do think that being said it like clear that there a really different way of thinking about it than there was back when Lucille Ball was not able to say the word pregnant

Nuts. Yeah. Season two, I want to talk about it. So this season has some fun new elements I read about. Leighton Meester comes on as a new cast member. And she's kind of, you know, I think among fashion girls, kind of an icon, especially watching Gossip Girl

She's such a cool, like, it girl kind of vibe. And she's so goofy on this show

I wouldn't expect that. That's so funny. And generous and, like, ready to go

Like, she feels like she gives so much. Like, she's so available as an actor and so game for anything

And I really like her a lot. I was going to ask about the dynamics on sex

I'm always curious. You kind of described her. And I'm curious, was there somebody who's, like, the, like, set mom or set dad

Somebody who, like, always had that, like, mothering energy? I feel like KB just has like a maternal air about her

She always like has snacks and she's always giving tips and advice and like has like an article that she just read

So she's like, yeah. And she is such a mom. Like she has two girls that she's like such an incredible mom too

So I think that that just like carries into the way that she just interacts with everyone

It's just very warm and like cozy and mom, mommy. Let's talk about Morgan, your character's style on the show. I feel like it's kind of California cool, but then she also, for that bat mitzvah scene in season one, she kind of pulled out the glam moment

Yeah. So I'm curious if there are any outfits that you especially loved wearing or that you feel like the public had a strong reaction to

You know, I had the most fun with the bomber jackets that I would wear with like the little skirts, like the basketball outfit I loved

It was definitely in reaction to my belly growing that they were like, let's put a bomber jacket on

Let's prom solace. There's something really cool about like a big jacket and like legs with tights on them

Oh, yeah. I like I've never done that in my day to day life

And now I'm like, OK, it's a good look. It's cool. Yeah. But I like Morgan style

It's very cool. And they did a really good job of, you know, before they knew I was pregnant, they had gone out and they had gotten like this huge wardrobe together, all the stuff that I was going to wear. And it was like a really clear character that they had built with these outfits. And, you know, then I got pregnant or I was pregnant and I told them because I was out of my first trimester and it wasn't like as vulnerable of a thing to share

And they did such a good job of keeping the essence and the character alive in these new outfits that were a little bit more, I guess, conservative or covered up a little bit more

Because Morgan, you know, in the first round, there was a lot of mini skirts and little tiny tanks that showed my belly

And did such a good job of keeping that vibe alive. I love the way that Morgan dresses

I'm such a t-shirt and jeans uniform kind of gal normally that it was just really fun to embrace like something totally different and feel how that felt different on my body

Yeah. Yeah. It kind of pushes you to like try new things, especially when you have your uniform. Totally

I'm like, oh, this would be like if I dress well. No. No, but you know what I mean

You're like, oh, fashion does something to the way that you carry yourself

Yeah, absolutely. One thing your character struggles with is sort of like feeling like she's losing her sister to the hot rabbi relationship. And I think motherhood too can be a big one where it's like things shift, you know, if you've, you know, some friends get closer and some friends, you know, kind of drift a little bit. In the show, you and Kristen Bell have a huge, you know, blow up fight over this sort of tension that's happening. And I'm curious if you have any tips in real life, how to navigate those like shifting friendships

Totally. I think I always go back to whenever I'm having some sort of a feeling is to just be okay letting yourself have that feeling. Like letting yourself mourn the loss of a friendship or like feeling the kind of heartache that comes with like a friend moving on into their love of their life relationship

relationship. And being honest with yourself that that's like a tough thing. It's a tough thing to

watch a friend evolve into a new version of themselves. And it's like incredibly celebratory

and you're excited for them. And also it can be hard. So I think just allowing the feeling to like

live in you for a little while and to be gentle with yourself about it. And also to know that

that's just like a part of life and that it's probably coming for you too. And to let yourself

I feel all the feelings, the celebration and the kind of heartache

Yeah. I read somewhere that the average person has about seven relationships that like friendships that like stay through their life, which I'm like seven

Like that means a lot of friends, they come and go. So it is a natural part of life, but I feel like it's a part of life that's not, you know, they don't talk about like friendships or relationships dissolving as much as compared to romantic relationship breakups

I know. I think that some of the hardest breakups I've ever had have been with friends

Yeah. No, it's true. You go from like sleepovers and like being in each other's beds in your 20s and like waking up together and like going out together

And then it's like, you know, losing that is like a big deal. Like there's such intimacy in female friendships and male friendships

So, yeah, I don't know. I mean, I've been really lucky to hold on to some long, long friendships

And also I've gone through with the holding on to long-term friendships, you have to kind of evolve through all the different changes with your good friends

And some of that can be really tough. I think everyone's dying to know, obviously, the cliffhanger of season one was with Kristen Bell's character and Hot Rabbi

Like, is she going to convert or are they going to stay together? What's the thing? And also your character's relationship with Sasha

Yeah. Which is such an interesting, I feel like it's so nuanced. Totally

I love that. So I know usually things can't be shared, but is there anything you can share about the season ahead

I think that Jenny and Bruce and Aaron really, really wanted to give the audience what they loved about last season

So there's a really, it does feel like the show, like the show continues and the essence of the show is still there

It's about what happens past, you know, as relationships evolve, the energy that they have evolved

So, you know, like the first season, like there's a different feeling to that than there is with the second season

And it's about like, what do we do now that we're in relationships? I have a friend that's pregnant and she, I was like, do you have your programming ready

of what you're going to watch when you, because I feel like everyone has their comfort show

Yeah. Her answer was, oh, nobody wants us is coming back for season two

And I was like, oh, of course it is. That's awesome. And so that is the best news

It's so nice to hear when like someone just needs a little bit of levity that they turn

to the show. I feel like we were in a bit of a rom-com desert for a while

People are really craving that. I think that things are kind of singularly dark right now

So it's nice to have any kind of blip of light, warm, optimistic feeling

A little 28 minutes or however long the show is. Totally. On a totally separate note, I've heard you're a Gemini

I am. And I feel like we're in LA. We have to talk about it. Let's talk about it

I can talk about it. Okay. What are you? So Sagittarius. Oh, great

Which are sister signs. I'm just saying. I'm trying to be weird. No, no, no, no, no

I love Sag Energy What the most Gemini thing about you I am very mercurial I like talking I like sharing thoughts I like hearing people thoughts I really curious So your mind is just like going

Totally. I'm like mostly there. Up in the air. Yeah. And I just really like learning about people

It's like my way of connection. So like, you know, even in romantic partnership, like I get really excited about talking and

like could care less about like you know making out no I'm just kidding I also like making out

but I will say that I do feel like my the first way of connection for me is just like chatting

conversation yeah I love it and then I feel like you have to find a special a special man that is

yeah my husband is like incredibly funny loves talking he's really quiet until he's not quiet

and then he's really chatty so that's the best kind of person who like doesn't like reveal it

all and you're like, oh, when you know them, they like show their real. Totally. People who don't know him well would be like, that guy loves talking because he's like also quite an introvert

Okay. But in the relationship, like the moment that he got comfortable and chatty, it was like

we don't stop talking. I love that. I wanted to pivot to fashion really fast. A fashion moment

IRL that you had recently, the Emmys. Oh, yeah. You wore a Carolina Herrera dress by Wes Gordon

Wow. Thank you. There is no question, actually. It's just wow. It's just wow

Thanks. I want to know how you picked it, how it came to life

Well, you know, I saw a picture of it on the runway. Rebecca Ramsey, my stylist, sent me a picture of it a while ago, like right after it went down the runway

And I had the same exact reaction. I was like, wow, that is gorgeous

And then I sent it to my publicists and they were also like, whoa, whoa, whoa

Holy smokes. That's beautiful. It was on our radar. And then when the Emmys came up, we were like, well, what about asking about this

Like, could we see if we could get it? And yeah, it's just like, it feels like a champagne glass of an outfit

Like it's so like, it's so fancy and happy and celebratory and sexy

So when they said that they were going to send it, I was like over the moon

I heard there was a little navigation around the sheerness of it

So I had never done anything like this. Like I'm not like a, I don't really go for like the bombshell see-through kind of thing

Make a dress. So I didn't quite know how to navigate like just everything showing

And part of the beauty of the dress is how sheer it is

And you don't want to add another layer of like thickness to it

You want it to just, you know, be what it is, which is fairly transparent

But also we were like, is my butt okay? Checking in on the butt

Checking in on the butt. Especially in general, seeing what's going on by the head. Totally. And navigating like, what underwear will work with this

And like, how do we, like, do we see a panty line? Like, what do we do

So yeah, we went through several steps to try and figure out how to make that work. That was your first Emmys, right

Yeah. In the beginning, I was like, wow, this is so overwhelming. There's so many people. It's like such a spectacle. It's so stimulating. And there was like a moment

where at the very beginning I was like, Justine, you can be nervous about this or like be overstimulated

or be like about it. Or you can like really lean into remembering that this is something that you

grew up like aspiring to go to. Like this is an event that, you know, you used to watch and go

like, oh, I wish one day I could get there. And that it's like such a bucket list moment. Even

though it's like bizarre and kind of crazy, it's just also incredibly special. And like, don't let

that nerves get in the way. Yeah. And also don't let it like just fly by, like really let it like

drink it in. And so I did, I did a really good job of that. My dad sent me some screenshots of

the TV. And he's like, you're smiling. You're smiling in a way that I've never... I was just

a little kid in a candy store, just beaming through the whole thing. I had so much fun

You're happy to be here. Yeah. Just so happy to be here. I want to pivot to parenthood. I feel like we could talk about this for a long time

I could. I have a daughter as well. And you have your daughter, Ellis, who I believe is 13 months

Yeah. That's a tender age. Ellis is a great name. I have a niece named Ellis

You do? I do. Oh, that's awesome. How did you settle on the name? My husband picked it. And I think he picked it because of Brett East and Alice. And then we looked it up and it meant kind and benevolent, which is always like a nice sentiment to put behind a baby. And then he got it tattooed onto his hand

Before she was born? Oh, yeah. Pretty early on. And I was like, okay. So that's her name

I thought I was making a commitment by getting some things embroidered before my daughter was born with a tattoo

I see your embroidery and I raise you tattooing it onto my body. Yeah, totally

As a parent, like there's so many mini milestones that some of you didn't even know existed until your child is doing them

What fun stuff is Ellis doing? She just started going no. She started being like, we'd be like, can I have a kiss

She'd be like. Which was like kind of out of nowhere because it's like so, it's so

Sassy. Yeah, it's sassy, but it's also like silly, like, no, no, no, no. It's really sweet. She has started to like make sounds. So we'll be like, what sound does a cat make? And she'll go, meow. Or like a dog, she knows wolf. Like there's like random, just out of nowhere, you'll be like, where's your head? And she'll like know where it is

yeah it's just all these things that we've been doing and saying around her are like finally like

she's like online and you're like she's revealing that she's been picking them up which is such a

cool it's such a cool realization you'd be like oh you've been gathering and now you're able to be

like i've heard you it's really sweet once it starts it's just like explosion totally i'm really

excited has she come to set she ever come visit you she's come a lot i like ended up like pretty

early on we put a pack and play in the trailer and um my nanny samantha who's there like a few

days a week she would come to set and bring her in and between breaks i would hang out with them

and then i'd like go back and she would hang out at base camp with everyone come to set sit behind

the monitor we like again it's like the most welcoming vibes like jenny and nora and bruce

and aaron they're all like so excited to have a baby around it's like they're like oh the work is

over there like let's go like play with this baby in the show uh there's a little storyline about

getting the ick yeah and obviously that's in regards to a romantic relationship um but i kind

of want to talk parenting icks and i'm gonna go first okay a parenting like i have is when people

you know i think they just really let let their their lips get a little loose around the things

they say to pregnant people and i have one that was like um a girl i know was like did you mean

to get pregnant and I was like well I know we're in different life stages but yes I'm so sorry I

did totally you're just kind of bizarre you're like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and then the other

thing that I get I wouldn't call it an ick but I am a little weirded out by the windy oh the

Frito Wendy I gotta tell you I am such a fan of the Wendy but I I mess around with the snot sucker that I get down with which is another product The Wendy like saved us on several occasions I understand

I really understand. It's a weird tool. And it's kind of like, is this okay

Right. There were some moments where I was like, this is literally saving my baby

Yeah, right. Like making her happy and not in pain or whatever

But I had a similar thing. I had a lot of, because my husband and I weren't married before we had Ellis

And I had my parenting ick or like the loose lip thing that you said

I had a few people be like, so like you guys aren't married? A little like judgment

Totally. It was a lot of older people. You'd be like, no, we're not

When you first said parenting ick, my mind went to like a gross moment with the baby

which is that we were in the bath together and she farted. And I was like, oh, that smells bad

And then I like turned around to like adjust the water temperature and the bath

And then I turned back around and she, this might be TMI, she had a poop in her hand that

she was putting in her mouth. I wasn't expecting to say that. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

It was the ickiest thing I've ever experienced in my life. I was like, I just saw a human being eat poop

Oh, boy. Oh, boy. And you're like, is this so bad? Like, obviously it's gross, but is it like, is this a health concern

No, totally. I was like, Tyson, you need to get on the computer, like do all the research. Like, are we okay? I was like trying to wash her mouth out like every way that I could possibly

She was confused and upset. It was terrible. I've been surprised at my��

Threshold for gross? Yeah. Totally. Like I'm like sneezing my face, please

Oh, no, totally. Like I like it. I welcome it. Like eating things that she like spit out. Like she'll like not be interested in something and then I'll just, I'm like, it's gross. I've turned into like a rat

like motherhood has turned me into like it's easier to eat it than like go walk over to this

trash totally like i don't want to waste it so i'm sure like it's my child's spit whatever like

there's so many or like picking her nose you're just like i mean you did the snot sucker like

it really just brings us back down to like the most primal thing i had a weird moment when i had

her where she came out and her you know she was like covered in blood and i had this like weird

like primal sensation that I felt like a lion or something where I was like, I want to lick

her head. Like I want to clean this. I am you, you are me. Totally. I didn't do it

but I was like, that's an interesting, that's an interesting impulse. Did you always know you wanted to be a parent? Do you feel like

you know, that was, you were meant to be a mom? I think so. Yeah, I did. I always have wanted to

have kids. I didn't know when I wanted to have kids or how many kids I wanted. And I didn't

really have like a vision of it, but my parents were such great parents and they were such

involved parents and I could feel like the joy that being parents brought them. And so I think

that, yeah, they're, um, they were incredible. So there's something about seeing them having fun

as parents that I think was just instilled in me like, Oh, I want to have kids myself. Yeah

And even now, like when I talk to my dad, he'll be like, it's an amazing thing to like relive being a child with a child

And I feel that. Like I feel like I'm seeing things differently. I'm like absorbing things in a different way

I'm like kind of catching the way that she's experiencing the world in a way that I haven't in so long

And I feel what he described. I know. The slowing down and the like awe

I think we're so, I mean, me included, just so on the, in the cyber of it all or in the

Thinking about the future. Yes. And it's kind of amazing to see someone who's just like so on the ground

It's definitely been a wake up call for me and it's incredible

What do you think isn't discussed enough with parenthood? I mean, so much, but if you had to share a thing or two

I think the hormonal shift when you wean. Okay. Okay. Are you still breastfeeding

I am, but I only heard about this whispers of it. I didn't know about it. And basically when I started working again, I was pumping and she was like drinking off the bottle when I was at work

And my boobs like slowly, not slowly, quickly stopped to shut down

Okay, great. We're done. Yeah. It was a wild thing that happened. I had like crazy anxiety. I like felt really out of control. I was like, I don't know what's happening. Like I felt like a different thing than I'd ever felt. Yeah. Sad, anxious. I didn't know what was going on. Like I was like, what is this? Is this like me going back to work? Is this like a heady thing? Like what is happening? Because there was no, like, it was like a physical sensation and my body was like totally out of control. And then my brain would go like, what's going on? Like it didn't understand

And, like, it was, like, what's the rational reason behind my body being this, like, weird feeling? Yeah

And so it would go on this, like, spiral trying to figure out, like, what am I anxious about

My brain would follow my body. Yeah. It was terrible. How long did it last, would you say

It went on for about, like, two and a half months. Okay, that's way longer than I thought

It's long. But I also, like, I mean, people do slow weaning

Right, right. And mine just went from, like, 100 to zero. And I didn't have any like postpartum depression or anything like that

But this was like real. And I didn't know anything about it. And so finally I kind of just started being like open with friends who had had babies about it

And then like do you guys know? And they were like sending me articles from like you know all kinds of publications

And I was like oh this is like a thing. And it has been talked about. But it's not really talked about that often

And it really was helpful to know that like oh right. Duh. Like your body's been like sustaining feeding another

For certain hormones. person and now like all the hormones that made that happen are gone and there should be guidance

too from like your your doctor your pediatrician i mean my girlfriends were ready to talk about it

once we talked about it right right yeah that's long enough to feel like you're like is this my

normal like is this me totally it was a little bit scary yeah yeah and i was working through it so i

was like yeah it was kind of a weird experience is there like a kind of euphoria that comes after

the sadness? I mean, I feel great now. I feel really good. I feel like I'm like, everything's

kind of even now and I'm feeling great. And also like, yeah, I feel like more like myself than I

felt for that amount of time. I loved, I loved the first stages of being a mom, but I will say

like, I finally am feeling like, okay, like, yeah, I'm getting back to myself a little bit more

A little, I'll handle on things. Yeah. I feel good. So don't worry. It's going to be okay

I'm like, okay, okay. I'm learning a lot. You mentioned your family. What aspects of your upbringing do you think you would like to, you know, bring to your

own parenting? My parents were incredibly playful. My mom was incredibly maternal, really like touchy, feely, cuddly

Like I felt so safe with her. So that's something I really want to give my daughter is like the feeling that my mom

gave me in terms of like just being like a cozy place. They were incredibly supportive, like always

They encouraged like any kind of exploration of any kind of subject that I wanted to go for. So I never had that thing where people were like, you want to be an actor? Like my parents were like always like behind me and really availing

I think that the thing that I would want to change is I think my parents, they gave every single part of themselves to being parents and like never went on a vacation

I never had a babysitter. I had a babysitter one time because I begged my parents to let this lifeguard that I had a crush on be my babysitter

And then I ended up hiding the whole time in my room and like didn't even interact with the guy because I was like so nervous, actually

Like I want this man in my house, but I've got to be in a separate room. Totally. I was like, I do want you around, but also I'm like terrified

You're so cute. So I think that I want to keep the connection alive, like the romantic connection alive with my husband

Like go on dates, like maybe go out every once in a while, like have a little bit more of a sense of my own like agency

You know, my mom like kind of gave everything to us. And I think that when we grew up, it was like a little bit like empty nest syndrome extreme because she had just been so committed to us as kids

Yeah, and then the identity has to shift. Totally. So I just, I guess like I would prioritize like date night in a different way than my parents did and taking some time for me

It's so nice being with her, but I do feel like it's important to like go and have

Yeah. Yeah. Like my therapist was like, go on a date once a week and you don't talk about the baby the whole time

Hard, hard, hard. Hard ask. Totally. Yeah, the relationship thing is interesting, adding a baby to the mix

For me, I was just like, there's a triangle now. And before it was just like this one, one thing

And now the love is like moving around. Are you enjoying it? I'm like, I'm obsessed with it

like i feel like my husband is like it's so cool seeing him be this person yes i'm so excited by

how good of a dad he is and i really love like the unit like i love feeling like like this is our little pet yeah yeah it very sweet yeah very special but i do i think the encouragement to also nurture the relationship going to instead

of like always this yeah is is well makes a lot of sense totally um to your point about the being

your own person as well in addition to a mom um i feel like growing up i remember my mom like

it always stuck with me i'm like oh you do you took an upholstery class you went and got a bikini

wax for some reason I knew about that. Your mom? Yeah. And I was like, good job, mom. That for some reason stuck with me that like hobbies are good. Like, you know, just doing

something for yourself. I think it's so cool. And I like had a little bit of a crisis about like

career and parenting at the very beginning where I was like, I'd been with her for six months

straight. I'd been like with her for six months straight. And I like getting into the woo-woo of

it all. I went to an astrologer and I was like, you know, it was like a kind of a therapizing

moment. And I was like, I'm like, what do I do? Like, I don't want to miss out on working and

like expanding in this part of who I am. And also I'm like obsessed with my child and I really want

to be an available mom and I really want to be present for her and feel like I'm there

like I'm really there. And she basically was like, you're a Gemini. This is Gemini energy

It's really important. And I think it applies to anyone. I don't know if it's really Gemini or not

Gemini. But you probably really deeply weigh both sides of the two needs. She was like, you need

both. Both of those parts are so important and they're so part of who you are. And like, you

actually need this to be good at this and you need this to be good at that at this moment in your

life. And it was really a liberating realization that like their holistic realized version of

myself is the one that can hold both of these things. She was like, you know, just be there

when you're there, like be really there, like don be over here don be over here be like here you know And same goes for that And you know what it like everything else It like I just have to remember that I this is the beginning and that it a steep learning curve And that like in the same way that I had to learn to like swaddle and burp a

baby, I'm now having to learn how to manage these two things and that it will get more and more

comfortable and more and more familiar the longer that I have to do it. That's a good point. What do

you hope your child, Ellis, sees when, when she looks at you, like, not just as a parent, but as

like a woman working and pursuing your passion? I hope she sees someone who is kind and who

tends to her relationships and that gives attention to the connections that I have with

people in my life. I hope she sees someone who's hardworking, but someone who's like also incredibly

playful and enjoys fun and the beauty in life. I hope she sees someone who's constantly trying

to be a better version of themselves and sees life as an opportunity to just get better at

being me and gets better at being a person in the world

Yeah. Is there a moment with her recently that maybe was an ordinary moment, but that kind of

like touched your heart or melted melted you a little bit a day ago she was sitting on me and then

she just laid deliberately like it felt like a real choice to like lay herself on me and wrap

her arms around me and it was like something I'm sure happens all the time when you're a parent but

there was something about like me feeling the choice in her that it wasn't like a primal thing

of just like holding a baby that she was like, I want to hold my mom. Yeah

And it felt like a kid doing it or something, that it was like a fully realized moment that

she had. Right. And that was really cool. Like, I am choosing you and this is what's going to bring me comfort right now

Like, I really want to hold you right now. It was really cool That amazing Yeah I hope you write it down Yeah I pretty good about like writing these little Because it so I mean even just thinking back it easy for it to become blurry I think

Totally. I'm like, I also wrote all these letters to her when I was pregnant

Oh, beautiful. And it's really funny. Read them back. All the things that I forgot

I was like going through. I'm like, wow, that was an experience, pregnancy

Oh, sure. My last question for you. Okay. When you think about legacy, what feels most important to you to leave behind, you know, both in your work and in your family

I think that honestly being kind and like bringing people joy and levity and connection and feeling like that I like witnessed my friends and I witnessed my husband and I was like there for people that I love and people that I work with and people that I like met on the street that there was like a like a little bit of like positive

Yeah, I just want to have positive impact on people. And I don't really think about legacy work wise. Like I just, I don't know how to even like, like, that's crazy. It's crazy to think about like leaving a legacy behind you with work. I guess I just like hope that, you know, when I hear stories like your friend who's postpartum and that they want to like tune into the show as like a way to kind of like lighten up their moment or like there was a show that I was on and I remember my aunt sent me a texting that her friend had texted

while she was in the hospital. And then I watched the show and it just brightened my day. Those

little things, just to bring some sort of an escape or some sort of lightness to people's

lives, I think makes me feel really good. That's beautiful. Well, thank you so much

for sitting down with me. This was a treat to talk to a fellow mother and an actress I admire

Thank you so much. Thanks for having me. This was awesome. Thank you