Justine Lupe sits down in-studio with Who What Wear Editor in Chief and fellow new mom Kat Collings to talk about all things motherhood—including filming season 1 of Nobody Wants This while pregnant with her daughter, Ellis. Lupe opens up about her newfound primal instincts, the challenges of postpartum life, and how she consulted an astrologer for advice on how to balance motherhood with her career. Plus, she shares the story of the "naked" dress she wore to the Emmys and behind-the-scenes details from Nobody Wants This season 2 (out tomorrow!)
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0:00
We were in the bath together, and then I turned around to adjust the water temperature in the bath, and then I turned back around
0:07
This might be TMI. Hi, Justine. Thank you so much for joining me today
0:12
Hi. Thanks for having me. Well, the occasion of us being in this podcast studio is to celebrate your cover with us for our inaugural Who What Wear Parents issue
0:23
So cool. Well, you're wearing this, I don't know if you've seen the cover yet, but spoiler, it is a gorgeous pink Chloe dress
0:30
We chose that for the cover and you look phenomenal. Really? No, I haven't found out, I haven't found out what pictures you're using
0:37
So that's exciting though, because I love that dress. That is happening. And then when this airs, the next day, it'll be the eve of season two coming out of Nobody Wants This
0:47
which of course you star in and everybody I know watches the show and loves it
0:53
So it's an exciting moment for us. I'm glad that you're excited for me
0:57
I was about to say thanks for being excited on my behalf. I'm like, it's exciting for us here in this pod together
1:02
I appreciate it. So we'll talk motherhood and show and we'll just dive right in
1:07
Okay, great. I want to talk a little bit because it blends so perfectly with two things I want to touch on
1:12
Being pregnant while filming season one of the show. So my first question is how
1:17
No, because as far as I know, nobody has escaped the first trimester extreme fatigue where like you could fall asleep at any moment
1:28
You don't get to choose when you nap. Did you have that and how did you deal? So I actually got the job when I was in my first trimester
1:37
And then I started the job like right at the end of my first trimester
1:41
It was divine intervention in a real way because, yes, I felt like I had mono through my first trimester
1:46
I like could not get up. It was so, so tiring. So yeah, I really lucked out that it started
1:53
And then I was in like that amazing kind of reinvigorating second trimester, like renaissance moment
2:01
Like birds are singing. Yeah, totally. You're like, I can do anything. Yeah, it was a different, it was a very different experience than what I was experiencing a month prior
2:10
So yeah, I lucked out. That's good timing. But even still, like the energy of being on set all day, I'm sure that was intense
2:16
And I feel like you, in my mind, joined a class of women like Rihanna performing at the Super Bowl
2:21
Like, just moms are a different breed. Yeah. You know, I lucked out in that I got to experience Sarah Snook be pregnant all through Succession Season 4 and see what she could do
2:33
And I think there's something psychosomatic about knowing someone can do that kind of work
2:38
Yeah. It's like an expander kind of, you know. I felt good. I actually felt really good
2:42
I mean, the things that were hardest were like, you know, I would like eat a burrito and then like everything would just like pop open
2:49
Like my skirt would just be like on the ground and I'd be like, oh, no, I'm like expanding past the capacity of my clothes
2:56
So there was like a lot of adjusting that the costume department had to do like week to week to kind of catch up to my body growing
3:02
Yeah. It was more just that they would have fittings week to week
3:06
And every week was a different episode. Like it moves really quick
3:10
So we did 10 episodes in 10 weeks. Yeah, which was actually also a blessing because, you know, there wasn't too much time that I was like really, really pregnant on the show
3:21
But, yeah, they would bring me in every week, do a fitting, retry things on, refigure out how do we hide this in a different way
3:28
Because, you know, the bigger I got, the more creative they had to get about like, okay
3:32
You're asking a lot of us. Yeah, totally. But they were wonderful. They were really, really generous about navigating that whole process with me
3:41
I'm sure you became like best friends, like had to really like spend a lot of time. Yes. Nigar is like a very dear, dear person in my life
3:48
Yeah. They're all great. And speaking of your former co-star, Sarah Snook, I heard she gave you some parenting
3:54
advice, like wrote you a big thing. I read that somewhere. She's been a good friend through the whole thing
3:59
She wrote me when I got pregnant. She gave me some like really great podcasts to listen to for like the fourth trimester
4:05
which is postpartum. And then when postpartum came, she checked in on me
4:09
She wrote me another kind of like breakdown of you're so unprepared for what happens after you give birth
4:16
Like I did a lot of thinking about postpartum and she was really helpful in terms of being like you have nine months of pregnancy and you're going to get so much information about being a pregnant woman and people forget about what happens after you give birth
4:30
So I had like put my mind there, but there's just no like preparation possible for the impact of like what that is after giving birth
4:40
So she was just really helpful with like the little nitty gritty questions that I had
4:44
Like, how do we sleep at all? And like, how do I like, did you have any tips on like what my husband can do to help me out in the middle of the night
4:53
Like with the swaddling and the feeding and the breast. Like we're so hands on with the babies
4:58
and I think sometimes the guys are like, okay, how can I help? And I didn't even know what to tell him
5:03
So she was really helpful with that too. She's been great. Yes
5:07
Yeah. Yes. That's amazing to have. I feel like everyone has at least one fairy godmother
5:13
who's like gave birth somewhat recently-ish before and is still in like, they're like, oh my God
5:17
Oh, totally. Let me help you. Totally. I had a lot and I feel like I understand it now
5:23
that I'm on the other side because it's like you just, It's this hugely steep learning curve and you feel like proud of all the information that you gather and you really feel so much empathy for anyone who's about to go through it
5:35
So I feel like very available to any of my girlfriends. Like girls, I'm ready to go
5:41
If you have a baby, like I'm ready to talk. Right. And like I will be that person for you. And like pay it forward
5:45
It's like this fun cycle. Yeah. It's really sweet. And there were four people who were expecting pregnant during the filming of the first season, right, on set
5:53
So that's like some powerful mom energy. There's a lot of energy. Did you guys like commiserate together
6:00
Share advice. Erin and I talked a little bit, but it was less about like commiserating and more just
6:05
being like, wow, there are four pregnant women working in this capacity on set
6:10
Like how exciting that this is the day and age that we're in, that that's something that's
6:16
like so welcomed. To your point of, you know, the fact that here we are in 2024, 2025
6:21
And I feel like it was Lucille Ball and I Love Lucy who like wanted to either show her pregnancy or even say the word pregnancy
6:28
And it was super controversial. Wow. And so just to think. That's crazy
6:33
Yeah. Just to think how far we've come that like people were against it. And it was a big moment
6:37
And how much has changed since then. I know. I know. And I don't want to ignore that it's still, you know, after I said something about that last year
6:44
Like how wonderful it is that we're in a time that like Netflix was like behind it
6:50
Yeah. know, and that all the execs were like cheering me on and it was like really a warm reception
6:56
But I'm sure there are cases where that's not the case or someone does still feel a little bit
7:00
unsafe and it's such a shame and it's so tricky that women have to like think about these things
7:06
Even when people are welcoming about the whole process, like you still have to navigate literally
7:10
with logistics. Like, okay, if I want to have another kid, when can I be pregnant? When will
7:15
show. So it's funny that it's something that's like so part of our life. It's so intrinsic to
7:20
us all being here. And yet that it's like- Secretive and sometimes difficult
7:24
Sometimes Yeah And I do think that being said it like clear that there a really different way of thinking about it than there was back when Lucille Ball was not able to say the word pregnant
7:38
Nuts. Yeah. Season two, I want to talk about it. So this season has some fun new elements I read about. Leighton Meester comes on as a new cast member. And she's kind of, you know, I think among fashion girls, kind of an icon, especially watching Gossip Girl
7:52
She's such a cool, like, it girl kind of vibe. And she's so goofy on this show
7:58
I wouldn't expect that. That's so funny. And generous and, like, ready to go
8:02
Like, she feels like she gives so much. Like, she's so available as an actor and so game for anything
8:07
And I really like her a lot. I was going to ask about the dynamics on sex
8:12
I'm always curious. You kind of described her. And I'm curious, was there somebody who's, like, the, like, set mom or set dad
8:18
Somebody who, like, always had that, like, mothering energy? I feel like KB just has like a maternal air about her
8:26
She always like has snacks and she's always giving tips and advice and like has like an article that she just read
8:32
So she's like, yeah. And she is such a mom. Like she has two girls that she's like such an incredible mom too
8:39
So I think that that just like carries into the way that she just interacts with everyone
8:43
It's just very warm and like cozy and mom, mommy. Let's talk about Morgan, your character's style on the show. I feel like it's kind of California cool, but then she also, for that bat mitzvah scene in season one, she kind of pulled out the glam moment
8:58
Yeah. So I'm curious if there are any outfits that you especially loved wearing or that you feel like the public had a strong reaction to
9:04
You know, I had the most fun with the bomber jackets that I would wear with like the little skirts, like the basketball outfit I loved
9:13
It was definitely in reaction to my belly growing that they were like, let's put a bomber jacket on
9:20
Let's prom solace. There's something really cool about like a big jacket and like legs with tights on them
9:26
Oh, yeah. I like I've never done that in my day to day life
9:29
And now I'm like, OK, it's a good look. It's cool. Yeah. But I like Morgan style
9:34
It's very cool. And they did a really good job of, you know, before they knew I was pregnant, they had gone out and they had gotten like this huge wardrobe together, all the stuff that I was going to wear. And it was like a really clear character that they had built with these outfits. And, you know, then I got pregnant or I was pregnant and I told them because I was out of my first trimester and it wasn't like as vulnerable of a thing to share
9:58
And they did such a good job of keeping the essence and the character alive in these new outfits that were a little bit more, I guess, conservative or covered up a little bit more
10:10
Because Morgan, you know, in the first round, there was a lot of mini skirts and little tiny tanks that showed my belly
10:16
And did such a good job of keeping that vibe alive. I love the way that Morgan dresses
10:21
I'm such a t-shirt and jeans uniform kind of gal normally that it was just really fun to embrace like something totally different and feel how that felt different on my body
10:33
Yeah. Yeah. It kind of pushes you to like try new things, especially when you have your uniform. Totally
10:38
I'm like, oh, this would be like if I dress well. No. No, but you know what I mean
10:43
You're like, oh, fashion does something to the way that you carry yourself
10:47
Yeah, absolutely. One thing your character struggles with is sort of like feeling like she's losing her sister to the hot rabbi relationship. And I think motherhood too can be a big one where it's like things shift, you know, if you've, you know, some friends get closer and some friends, you know, kind of drift a little bit. In the show, you and Kristen Bell have a huge, you know, blow up fight over this sort of tension that's happening. And I'm curious if you have any tips in real life, how to navigate those like shifting friendships
11:14
Totally. I think I always go back to whenever I'm having some sort of a feeling is to just be okay letting yourself have that feeling. Like letting yourself mourn the loss of a friendship or like feeling the kind of heartache that comes with like a friend moving on into their love of their life relationship
11:36
relationship. And being honest with yourself that that's like a tough thing. It's a tough thing to
11:41
watch a friend evolve into a new version of themselves. And it's like incredibly celebratory
11:45
and you're excited for them. And also it can be hard. So I think just allowing the feeling to like
11:52
live in you for a little while and to be gentle with yourself about it. And also to know that
11:58
that's just like a part of life and that it's probably coming for you too. And to let yourself
12:03
I feel all the feelings, the celebration and the kind of heartache
12:07
Yeah. I read somewhere that the average person has about seven relationships that like friendships that like stay through their life, which I'm like seven
12:14
Like that means a lot of friends, they come and go. So it is a natural part of life, but I feel like it's a part of life that's not, you know, they don't talk about like friendships or relationships dissolving as much as compared to romantic relationship breakups
12:25
I know. I think that some of the hardest breakups I've ever had have been with friends
12:29
Yeah. No, it's true. You go from like sleepovers and like being in each other's beds in your 20s and like waking up together and like going out together
12:37
And then it's like, you know, losing that is like a big deal. Like there's such intimacy in female friendships and male friendships
12:44
So, yeah, I don't know. I mean, I've been really lucky to hold on to some long, long friendships
12:50
And also I've gone through with the holding on to long-term friendships, you have to kind of evolve through all the different changes with your good friends
12:59
And some of that can be really tough. I think everyone's dying to know, obviously, the cliffhanger of season one was with Kristen Bell's character and Hot Rabbi
13:07
Like, is she going to convert or are they going to stay together? What's the thing? And also your character's relationship with Sasha
13:14
Yeah. Which is such an interesting, I feel like it's so nuanced. Totally
13:18
I love that. So I know usually things can't be shared, but is there anything you can share about the season ahead
13:25
I think that Jenny and Bruce and Aaron really, really wanted to give the audience what they loved about last season
13:34
So there's a really, it does feel like the show, like the show continues and the essence of the show is still there
13:40
It's about what happens past, you know, as relationships evolve, the energy that they have evolved
13:48
So, you know, like the first season, like there's a different feeling to that than there is with the second season
13:54
And it's about like, what do we do now that we're in relationships? I have a friend that's pregnant and she, I was like, do you have your programming ready
14:00
of what you're going to watch when you, because I feel like everyone has their comfort show
14:04
Yeah. Her answer was, oh, nobody wants us is coming back for season two
14:09
And I was like, oh, of course it is. That's awesome. And so that is the best news
14:15
It's so nice to hear when like someone just needs a little bit of levity that they turn
14:20
to the show. I feel like we were in a bit of a rom-com desert for a while
14:24
People are really craving that. I think that things are kind of singularly dark right now
14:29
So it's nice to have any kind of blip of light, warm, optimistic feeling
14:34
A little 28 minutes or however long the show is. Totally. On a totally separate note, I've heard you're a Gemini
14:42
I am. And I feel like we're in LA. We have to talk about it. Let's talk about it
14:45
I can talk about it. Okay. What are you? So Sagittarius. Oh, great
14:50
Which are sister signs. I'm just saying. I'm trying to be weird. No, no, no, no, no
14:53
I love Sag Energy What the most Gemini thing about you I am very mercurial I like talking I like sharing thoughts I like hearing people thoughts I really curious So your mind is just like going
15:06
Totally. I'm like mostly there. Up in the air. Yeah. And I just really like learning about people
15:14
It's like my way of connection. So like, you know, even in romantic partnership, like I get really excited about talking and
15:21
like could care less about like you know making out no I'm just kidding I also like making out
15:28
but I will say that I do feel like my the first way of connection for me is just like chatting
15:34
conversation yeah I love it and then I feel like you have to find a special a special man that is
15:39
yeah my husband is like incredibly funny loves talking he's really quiet until he's not quiet
15:46
and then he's really chatty so that's the best kind of person who like doesn't like reveal it
15:50
all and you're like, oh, when you know them, they like show their real. Totally. People who don't know him well would be like, that guy loves talking because he's like also quite an introvert
15:59
Okay. But in the relationship, like the moment that he got comfortable and chatty, it was like
16:05
we don't stop talking. I love that. I wanted to pivot to fashion really fast. A fashion moment
16:10
IRL that you had recently, the Emmys. Oh, yeah. You wore a Carolina Herrera dress by Wes Gordon
16:17
Wow. Thank you. There is no question, actually. It's just wow. It's just wow
16:23
Thanks. I want to know how you picked it, how it came to life
16:28
Well, you know, I saw a picture of it on the runway. Rebecca Ramsey, my stylist, sent me a picture of it a while ago, like right after it went down the runway
16:36
And I had the same exact reaction. I was like, wow, that is gorgeous
16:42
And then I sent it to my publicists and they were also like, whoa, whoa, whoa
16:46
Holy smokes. That's beautiful. It was on our radar. And then when the Emmys came up, we were like, well, what about asking about this
16:54
Like, could we see if we could get it? And yeah, it's just like, it feels like a champagne glass of an outfit
17:00
Like it's so like, it's so fancy and happy and celebratory and sexy
17:05
So when they said that they were going to send it, I was like over the moon
17:09
I heard there was a little navigation around the sheerness of it
17:14
So I had never done anything like this. Like I'm not like a, I don't really go for like the bombshell see-through kind of thing
17:23
Make a dress. So I didn't quite know how to navigate like just everything showing
17:29
And part of the beauty of the dress is how sheer it is
17:32
And you don't want to add another layer of like thickness to it
17:36
You want it to just, you know, be what it is, which is fairly transparent
17:41
But also we were like, is my butt okay? Checking in on the butt
17:47
Checking in on the butt. Especially in general, seeing what's going on by the head. Totally. And navigating like, what underwear will work with this
17:53
And like, how do we, like, do we see a panty line? Like, what do we do
17:57
So yeah, we went through several steps to try and figure out how to make that work. That was your first Emmys, right
18:02
Yeah. In the beginning, I was like, wow, this is so overwhelming. There's so many people. It's like such a spectacle. It's so stimulating. And there was like a moment
18:11
where at the very beginning I was like, Justine, you can be nervous about this or like be overstimulated
18:19
or be like about it. Or you can like really lean into remembering that this is something that you
18:26
grew up like aspiring to go to. Like this is an event that, you know, you used to watch and go
18:33
like, oh, I wish one day I could get there. And that it's like such a bucket list moment. Even
18:41
though it's like bizarre and kind of crazy, it's just also incredibly special. And like, don't let
18:47
that nerves get in the way. Yeah. And also don't let it like just fly by, like really let it like
18:53
drink it in. And so I did, I did a really good job of that. My dad sent me some screenshots of
18:59
the TV. And he's like, you're smiling. You're smiling in a way that I've never... I was just
19:04
a little kid in a candy store, just beaming through the whole thing. I had so much fun
19:09
You're happy to be here. Yeah. Just so happy to be here. I want to pivot to parenthood. I feel like we could talk about this for a long time
19:15
I could. I have a daughter as well. And you have your daughter, Ellis, who I believe is 13 months
19:20
Yeah. That's a tender age. Ellis is a great name. I have a niece named Ellis
19:25
You do? I do. Oh, that's awesome. How did you settle on the name? My husband picked it. And I think he picked it because of Brett East and Alice. And then we looked it up and it meant kind and benevolent, which is always like a nice sentiment to put behind a baby. And then he got it tattooed onto his hand
19:48
Before she was born? Oh, yeah. Pretty early on. And I was like, okay. So that's her name
19:52
I thought I was making a commitment by getting some things embroidered before my daughter was born with a tattoo
19:57
I see your embroidery and I raise you tattooing it onto my body. Yeah, totally
20:02
As a parent, like there's so many mini milestones that some of you didn't even know existed until your child is doing them
20:10
What fun stuff is Ellis doing? She just started going no. She started being like, we'd be like, can I have a kiss
20:15
She'd be like. Which was like kind of out of nowhere because it's like so, it's so
20:20
Sassy. Yeah, it's sassy, but it's also like silly, like, no, no, no, no. It's really sweet. She has started to like make sounds. So we'll be like, what sound does a cat make? And she'll go, meow. Or like a dog, she knows wolf. Like there's like random, just out of nowhere, you'll be like, where's your head? And she'll like know where it is
20:41
yeah it's just all these things that we've been doing and saying around her are like finally like
20:46
she's like online and you're like she's revealing that she's been picking them up which is such a
20:51
cool it's such a cool realization you'd be like oh you've been gathering and now you're able to be
20:56
like i've heard you it's really sweet once it starts it's just like explosion totally i'm really
21:03
excited has she come to set she ever come visit you she's come a lot i like ended up like pretty
21:10
early on we put a pack and play in the trailer and um my nanny samantha who's there like a few
21:18
days a week she would come to set and bring her in and between breaks i would hang out with them
21:23
and then i'd like go back and she would hang out at base camp with everyone come to set sit behind
21:28
the monitor we like again it's like the most welcoming vibes like jenny and nora and bruce
21:34
and aaron they're all like so excited to have a baby around it's like they're like oh the work is
21:39
over there like let's go like play with this baby in the show uh there's a little storyline about
21:45
getting the ick yeah and obviously that's in regards to a romantic relationship um but i kind
21:50
of want to talk parenting icks and i'm gonna go first okay a parenting like i have is when people
21:54
you know i think they just really let let their their lips get a little loose around the things
22:00
they say to pregnant people and i have one that was like um a girl i know was like did you mean
22:06
to get pregnant and I was like well I know we're in different life stages but yes I'm so sorry I
22:11
did totally you're just kind of bizarre you're like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and then the other
22:17
thing that I get I wouldn't call it an ick but I am a little weirded out by the windy oh the
22:24
Frito Wendy I gotta tell you I am such a fan of the Wendy but I I mess around with the snot sucker that I get down with which is another product The Wendy like saved us on several occasions I understand
22:36
I really understand. It's a weird tool. And it's kind of like, is this okay
22:41
Right. There were some moments where I was like, this is literally saving my baby
22:46
Yeah, right. Like making her happy and not in pain or whatever
22:50
But I had a similar thing. I had a lot of, because my husband and I weren't married before we had Ellis
22:57
And I had my parenting ick or like the loose lip thing that you said
23:01
I had a few people be like, so like you guys aren't married? A little like judgment
23:07
Totally. It was a lot of older people. You'd be like, no, we're not
23:11
When you first said parenting ick, my mind went to like a gross moment with the baby
23:15
which is that we were in the bath together and she farted. And I was like, oh, that smells bad
23:20
And then I like turned around to like adjust the water temperature and the bath
23:24
And then I turned back around and she, this might be TMI, she had a poop in her hand that
23:29
she was putting in her mouth. I wasn't expecting to say that. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
23:37
It was the ickiest thing I've ever experienced in my life. I was like, I just saw a human being eat poop
23:43
Oh, boy. Oh, boy. And you're like, is this so bad? Like, obviously it's gross, but is it like, is this a health concern
23:49
No, totally. I was like, Tyson, you need to get on the computer, like do all the research. Like, are we okay? I was like trying to wash her mouth out like every way that I could possibly
23:58
She was confused and upset. It was terrible. I've been surprised at my��
24:03
Threshold for gross? Yeah. Totally. Like I'm like sneezing my face, please
24:06
Oh, no, totally. Like I like it. I welcome it. Like eating things that she like spit out. Like she'll like not be interested in something and then I'll just, I'm like, it's gross. I've turned into like a rat
24:16
like motherhood has turned me into like it's easier to eat it than like go walk over to this
24:22
trash totally like i don't want to waste it so i'm sure like it's my child's spit whatever like
24:27
there's so many or like picking her nose you're just like i mean you did the snot sucker like
24:31
it really just brings us back down to like the most primal thing i had a weird moment when i had
24:39
her where she came out and her you know she was like covered in blood and i had this like weird
24:45
like primal sensation that I felt like a lion or something where I was like, I want to lick
24:50
her head. Like I want to clean this. I am you, you are me. Totally. I didn't do it
24:55
but I was like, that's an interesting, that's an interesting impulse. Did you always know you wanted to be a parent? Do you feel like
25:01
you know, that was, you were meant to be a mom? I think so. Yeah, I did. I always have wanted to
25:07
have kids. I didn't know when I wanted to have kids or how many kids I wanted. And I didn't
25:12
really have like a vision of it, but my parents were such great parents and they were such
25:16
involved parents and I could feel like the joy that being parents brought them. And so I think
25:24
that, yeah, they're, um, they were incredible. So there's something about seeing them having fun
25:31
as parents that I think was just instilled in me like, Oh, I want to have kids myself. Yeah
25:38
And even now, like when I talk to my dad, he'll be like, it's an amazing thing to like relive being a child with a child
25:46
And I feel that. Like I feel like I'm seeing things differently. I'm like absorbing things in a different way
25:52
I'm like kind of catching the way that she's experiencing the world in a way that I haven't in so long
25:59
And I feel what he described. I know. The slowing down and the like awe
26:04
I think we're so, I mean, me included, just so on the, in the cyber of it all or in the
26:11
Thinking about the future. Yes. And it's kind of amazing to see someone who's just like so on the ground
26:16
It's definitely been a wake up call for me and it's incredible
26:21
What do you think isn't discussed enough with parenthood? I mean, so much, but if you had to share a thing or two
26:27
I think the hormonal shift when you wean. Okay. Okay. Are you still breastfeeding
26:36
I am, but I only heard about this whispers of it. I didn't know about it. And basically when I started working again, I was pumping and she was like drinking off the bottle when I was at work
26:47
And my boobs like slowly, not slowly, quickly stopped to shut down
26:54
Okay, great. We're done. Yeah. It was a wild thing that happened. I had like crazy anxiety. I like felt really out of control. I was like, I don't know what's happening. Like I felt like a different thing than I'd ever felt. Yeah. Sad, anxious. I didn't know what was going on. Like I was like, what is this? Is this like me going back to work? Is this like a heady thing? Like what is happening? Because there was no, like, it was like a physical sensation and my body was like totally out of control. And then my brain would go like, what's going on? Like it didn't understand
27:23
And, like, it was, like, what's the rational reason behind my body being this, like, weird feeling? Yeah
27:30
And so it would go on this, like, spiral trying to figure out, like, what am I anxious about
27:34
My brain would follow my body. Yeah. It was terrible. How long did it last, would you say
27:39
It went on for about, like, two and a half months. Okay, that's way longer than I thought
27:45
It's long. But I also, like, I mean, people do slow weaning
27:48
Right, right. And mine just went from, like, 100 to zero. And I didn't have any like postpartum depression or anything like that
27:54
But this was like real. And I didn't know anything about it. And so finally I kind of just started being like open with friends who had had babies about it
28:01
And then like do you guys know? And they were like sending me articles from like you know all kinds of publications
28:08
And I was like oh this is like a thing. And it has been talked about. But it's not really talked about that often
28:14
And it really was helpful to know that like oh right. Duh. Like your body's been like sustaining feeding another
28:20
For certain hormones. person and now like all the hormones that made that happen are gone and there should be guidance
28:27
too from like your your doctor your pediatrician i mean my girlfriends were ready to talk about it
28:31
once we talked about it right right yeah that's long enough to feel like you're like is this my
28:35
normal like is this me totally it was a little bit scary yeah yeah and i was working through it so i
28:40
was like yeah it was kind of a weird experience is there like a kind of euphoria that comes after
28:47
the sadness? I mean, I feel great now. I feel really good. I feel like I'm like, everything's
28:53
kind of even now and I'm feeling great. And also like, yeah, I feel like more like myself than I
28:59
felt for that amount of time. I loved, I loved the first stages of being a mom, but I will say
29:05
like, I finally am feeling like, okay, like, yeah, I'm getting back to myself a little bit more
29:11
A little, I'll handle on things. Yeah. I feel good. So don't worry. It's going to be okay
29:15
I'm like, okay, okay. I'm learning a lot. You mentioned your family. What aspects of your upbringing do you think you would like to, you know, bring to your
29:24
own parenting? My parents were incredibly playful. My mom was incredibly maternal, really like touchy, feely, cuddly
29:32
Like I felt so safe with her. So that's something I really want to give my daughter is like the feeling that my mom
29:38
gave me in terms of like just being like a cozy place. They were incredibly supportive, like always
29:44
They encouraged like any kind of exploration of any kind of subject that I wanted to go for. So I never had that thing where people were like, you want to be an actor? Like my parents were like always like behind me and really availing
29:59
I think that the thing that I would want to change is I think my parents, they gave every single part of themselves to being parents and like never went on a vacation
30:10
I never had a babysitter. I had a babysitter one time because I begged my parents to let this lifeguard that I had a crush on be my babysitter
30:18
And then I ended up hiding the whole time in my room and like didn't even interact with the guy because I was like so nervous, actually
30:25
Like I want this man in my house, but I've got to be in a separate room. Totally. I was like, I do want you around, but also I'm like terrified
30:30
You're so cute. So I think that I want to keep the connection alive, like the romantic connection alive with my husband
30:40
Like go on dates, like maybe go out every once in a while, like have a little bit more of a sense of my own like agency
30:48
You know, my mom like kind of gave everything to us. And I think that when we grew up, it was like a little bit like empty nest syndrome extreme because she had just been so committed to us as kids
30:59
Yeah, and then the identity has to shift. Totally. So I just, I guess like I would prioritize like date night in a different way than my parents did and taking some time for me
31:09
It's so nice being with her, but I do feel like it's important to like go and have
31:15
Yeah. Yeah. Like my therapist was like, go on a date once a week and you don't talk about the baby the whole time
31:21
Hard, hard, hard. Hard ask. Totally. Yeah, the relationship thing is interesting, adding a baby to the mix
31:29
For me, I was just like, there's a triangle now. And before it was just like this one, one thing
31:34
And now the love is like moving around. Are you enjoying it? I'm like, I'm obsessed with it
31:40
like i feel like my husband is like it's so cool seeing him be this person yes i'm so excited by
31:48
how good of a dad he is and i really love like the unit like i love feeling like like this is our little pet yeah yeah it very sweet yeah very special but i do i think the encouragement to also nurture the relationship going to instead
32:05
of like always this yeah is is well makes a lot of sense totally um to your point about the being
32:12
your own person as well in addition to a mom um i feel like growing up i remember my mom like
32:16
it always stuck with me i'm like oh you do you took an upholstery class you went and got a bikini
32:20
wax for some reason I knew about that. Your mom? Yeah. And I was like, good job, mom. That for some reason stuck with me that like hobbies are good. Like, you know, just doing
32:28
something for yourself. I think it's so cool. And I like had a little bit of a crisis about like
32:33
career and parenting at the very beginning where I was like, I'd been with her for six months
32:38
straight. I'd been like with her for six months straight. And I like getting into the woo-woo of
32:43
it all. I went to an astrologer and I was like, you know, it was like a kind of a therapizing
32:49
moment. And I was like, I'm like, what do I do? Like, I don't want to miss out on working and
32:55
like expanding in this part of who I am. And also I'm like obsessed with my child and I really want
33:01
to be an available mom and I really want to be present for her and feel like I'm there
33:07
like I'm really there. And she basically was like, you're a Gemini. This is Gemini energy
33:13
It's really important. And I think it applies to anyone. I don't know if it's really Gemini or not
33:17
Gemini. But you probably really deeply weigh both sides of the two needs. She was like, you need
33:22
both. Both of those parts are so important and they're so part of who you are. And like, you
33:27
actually need this to be good at this and you need this to be good at that at this moment in your
33:33
life. And it was really a liberating realization that like their holistic realized version of
33:42
myself is the one that can hold both of these things. She was like, you know, just be there
33:46
when you're there, like be really there, like don be over here don be over here be like here you know And same goes for that And you know what it like everything else It like I just have to remember that I this is the beginning and that it a steep learning curve And that like in the same way that I had to learn to like swaddle and burp a
34:04
baby, I'm now having to learn how to manage these two things and that it will get more and more
34:09
comfortable and more and more familiar the longer that I have to do it. That's a good point. What do
34:14
you hope your child, Ellis, sees when, when she looks at you, like, not just as a parent, but as
34:19
like a woman working and pursuing your passion? I hope she sees someone who is kind and who
34:29
tends to her relationships and that gives attention to the connections that I have with
34:37
people in my life. I hope she sees someone who's hardworking, but someone who's like also incredibly
34:42
playful and enjoys fun and the beauty in life. I hope she sees someone who's constantly trying
34:54
to be a better version of themselves and sees life as an opportunity to just get better at
34:58
being me and gets better at being a person in the world
35:03
Yeah. Is there a moment with her recently that maybe was an ordinary moment, but that kind of
35:07
like touched your heart or melted melted you a little bit a day ago she was sitting on me and then
35:14
she just laid deliberately like it felt like a real choice to like lay herself on me and wrap
35:22
her arms around me and it was like something I'm sure happens all the time when you're a parent but
35:27
there was something about like me feeling the choice in her that it wasn't like a primal thing
35:32
of just like holding a baby that she was like, I want to hold my mom. Yeah
35:36
And it felt like a kid doing it or something, that it was like a fully realized moment that
35:42
she had. Right. And that was really cool. Like, I am choosing you and this is what's going to bring me comfort right now
35:46
Like, I really want to hold you right now. It was really cool That amazing Yeah I hope you write it down Yeah I pretty good about like writing these little Because it so I mean even just thinking back it easy for it to become blurry I think
35:59
Totally. I'm like, I also wrote all these letters to her when I was pregnant
36:03
Oh, beautiful. And it's really funny. Read them back. All the things that I forgot
36:09
I was like going through. I'm like, wow, that was an experience, pregnancy
36:14
Oh, sure. My last question for you. Okay. When you think about legacy, what feels most important to you to leave behind, you know, both in your work and in your family
36:24
I think that honestly being kind and like bringing people joy and levity and connection and feeling like that I like witnessed my friends and I witnessed my husband and I was like there for people that I love and people that I work with and people that I like met on the street that there was like a like a little bit of like positive
36:44
Yeah, I just want to have positive impact on people. And I don't really think about legacy work wise. Like I just, I don't know how to even like, like, that's crazy. It's crazy to think about like leaving a legacy behind you with work. I guess I just like hope that, you know, when I hear stories like your friend who's postpartum and that they want to like tune into the show as like a way to kind of like lighten up their moment or like there was a show that I was on and I remember my aunt sent me a texting that her friend had texted
37:14
while she was in the hospital. And then I watched the show and it just brightened my day. Those
37:20
little things, just to bring some sort of an escape or some sort of lightness to people's
37:27
lives, I think makes me feel really good. That's beautiful. Well, thank you so much
37:32
for sitting down with me. This was a treat to talk to a fellow mother and an actress I admire
37:38
Thank you so much. Thanks for having me. This was awesome. Thank you
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#Babies & Toddlers


