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I’m feeling very boxed in#strokelife #strokesurvivor #hemmoriagestroke
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0:01
All right, y'all. Good morning.
0:04
Welcome to
0:06
the world of Tino. I'm Tino.
0:10
Yeah, I'm a person that had a stroke,
0:11
y'all. So, I want to talk about that a
0:13
little bit today.
0:15
Um, this is one of those days when I
0:18
don't really feel like getting out of
0:19
the bed because of the pain from the
0:22
stroke.
0:25
Um, had a lot of vivid dreams last
0:28
night.
0:31
And I just want to talk to you guys a
0:33
little bit this morning about the
0:34
stroke.
0:35
The stroke gives me a lot of emotions
0:41
along with that the ADD
0:45
the what do you call it when you can't
0:47
really stand I got sometime I go out I
0:49
need headphones my headphones on the
0:51
wall. See your mirror
0:54
over stimulation is a big deal after a
0:57
stroke. It really is a lot of people
1:00
talking at once with the music being on
1:03
or not even a lot of people. It could be
1:04
two people talking. It could be three
1:06
people talking. It could be one person
1:08
talking, the music on, the TV on, the
1:11
car moving, whatever.
1:15
But yeah,
1:17
it sparks an add. You feel like you
1:20
trapped in a
1:23
a noise box and you can't get out.
1:28
and you are screaming inside of your
1:30
head. I scream inside of my head a lot
1:32
when things are just overbearing.
1:35
So, is there anyone else on this site
1:38
that has had a stroke that wants to talk
1:40
about
1:42
the stuff that the doctors don't talk
1:43
about? I won't talk about that. I'm two
1:46
years um
1:48
past my stroke. I know I'm the only one
1:51
out there that has has had stroke
1:53
before. So, if anybody wants to talk to
1:54
me about it, let's talk about it, y'all.
1:56
Let's talk about it. Okay.
1:59
Thank you.
2:02
I'm um watching TV today. I got pain in
2:07
my neck and my back last night.
2:11
Um
2:15
congested
2:18
a little bit.
2:20
I've been up maybe 30 minutes maybe.
2:25
And
2:27
I call that thawing out. Takes me a
2:29
little minute. I haven't even got it big
2:31
yet really, but because I know that
2:34
something's going to hurt. So, I don't
2:35
really want to get up right now.
2:37
I just don't.
2:40
But, um,
2:42
I want to tell you about that.
2:45
I want to tell you how about the noise
2:47
box that I feel like I'm in all the
2:48
time.
2:51
It just never goes away. It's on me
2:53
right now.
2:57
I had to turn the TV off because it was
2:59
too much.
3:02
But um
3:04
I do suffer from um a lot of trauma
3:08
after the stroke. I do. And let you know
3:12
that um people don't treat you like a
3:15
grown-up anymore after the stroke. For
3:16
some reason,
3:18
I have times when I'm
3:20
a kid. I guess this time I'm an adult.
3:25
But I don't like the kid part at all cuz
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I want to be an adult all the time.
3:32
Excuse me. Something
3:34
I just feel like my adult rights
3:40
taken away. I haven't driven a car
3:45
at all this year. I miss driving.
3:50
It was like um my freedom. I get in the
3:54
car, I play my music, and I just ride
3:58
out.
4:01
I miss that.
4:03
I miss that so much. Oh my god, I miss
4:06
that.
4:08
I miss
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solidarity is what I miss. How about
4:11
that? I don't have solidarity at all.
4:18
I miss it.
4:20
I miss my alone time. I miss
4:25
just being with me.
4:28
I miss being able to just
4:32
do regular stuff without having to be
4:35
monitored for everything.
4:38
Like I just
4:41
I keep leaving the stove on when I cook.
4:44
Yall know I was a chef, right? I'm a
4:45
retired chef and yeah, I have to keep
4:48
leaving the stove on after I cook every
4:51
time. Every single time. It just never
4:53
fails. If I cook longer than an hour,
4:56
the stove going to be left on
4:58
for some reason. I don't know. I can't
5:00
remember. I'm going to try to remember.
5:01
I'm put a note on the stove to turn it
5:04
off.
5:06
And along with that, um,
5:10
because of my medications, a lot of
5:12
times I can't go out to my garden.
5:17
So, I want to go out there now
5:20
and water my plants, but I want to come
5:21
back and get in the bed after I do that.
5:24
Everybody else water their plants in
5:25
their pajamas. Why can't I?
5:29
And it's 10 something here in Georgia.
5:33
So
5:34
I may um
5:37
Oh, that's right. It rained last night.
5:39
So you're not dying from no water.
5:42
We got some new plants today. The rain
5:44
makes life
5:47
things spot out from the rain.
5:50
Look at me. Y'all look at this.
5:57
Yeah. I will go home. I will go to work
6:02
and cook all day at work for like 12 or
6:04
13 hours and then wake up the next
6:06
morning and want to cook for my family
6:08
cuz I'm inspired in my dream by the
6:10
things that I would dream about would be
6:11
would be food and things I made. And
6:14
last night I had a dream that my wife
6:15
kept smelling something smoky
6:18
like something was on fire. So that may
6:20
be um a premonition.
6:23
It could be a um
6:26
what do you call it? The opposite of
6:28
something burning would be something
6:32
drowning, I guess. I don't know. But I
6:34
had a dream last night. She kept saying,
6:35
"Do you smell that? Something's
6:37
burning." I think I may look that out
6:39
and see what that means. My mother would
6:42
say it was a number and she would play
6:43
it. But since I'm not a um a gambling
6:46
addict, I just don't care about the
6:49
number.
6:51
Oh yeah. Um,
6:54
my dreams are very vivid
6:56
after the stroke.
6:59
Very vivid.
7:01
They're so vivid that
7:04
I crave them when I'm woke. That's how
7:07
vivid they are. I want to go to sleep so
7:09
I can go back where I was in my dream
7:13
because
7:15
there's not a whole lot going on in my
7:17
real life right now.
7:19
So I adventure and travel through time
7:22
and space in my dreams.
7:29
I become an empath.
7:34
I also feel um clairvoyance and I feel
7:39
like I know things that are going to
7:41
happen before they happen and I know
7:43
people going to say stuff before they
7:45
even say it. It's weird.
7:50
And I can see things that are going to
7:52
happen in my mind before they happen.
7:58
I haven't told anyone about this, but
8:00
you guys
8:03
and haven't told anybody about a lot of
8:06
stuff. I tell y'all a lot of my secrets.
8:08
I told y'all about the money that I got
8:10
too, right?
8:13
I told y'all about
8:16
this secret about me.
8:19
I feel like I see the future a lot,
8:21
y'all.
8:23
I don't know.
8:26
Maybe I lost my mind after the stroke.
8:28
This seems pretty tame.
8:31
Yeah, I may do some computer work this
8:33
afternoon and do some passwords or
8:35
something.
8:37
Okay, so if you this your first time on
8:39
my channel, please subscribe, please
8:43
comment, please talk to me about this.
8:46
I don't have any friends, y'all. Let's
8:48
Let's talk about it. Okay, let's do it.
8:50
My mother-in-law has been here for the
8:52
week. It's been pleasant having her
8:54
here. Very pleasant.
8:57
It's a different nose. It's a different
8:59
feel in the house. It feels safe. It
9:01
feels warm. It feels welcoming. It
9:03
always does. But it's a mom in the
9:05
house. So, that makes the house feel
9:06
different. That makes the house feel
9:08
special.
9:12
And I like that feeling. I wish she
9:13
would stay till Monday or Tuesday, but
9:15
she's trying to leave tomorrow. But
9:18
it ain't up to me.
#Mental Health
#Anxiety & Stress
#Depression