NFL Draft Bust to Hero: Ryan Leaf's Untold Story 🦸‍♂️ | SWAY’S UNIVERSE

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[Applause] Ryan Leaf ladies and gentlemen Ryan Leaf let me tell you about this man havea the
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be tell me we're brothers for a number of reasons but the
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one that has brought us together is this last mile radio show under the last my
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umbrella which you know is an organization that I became a board member of some years ago and went to San
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Quinton and different other um facilities institutions across the land that keep people
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incarcerated and um CH redlitz and and Bev his lovely wife parenti um recruited
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me to be a part of this and uh we kicked off a podcast series The Last Mile radio
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show and where we got a chance to go into this particular time s Quinton and
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speak to a lot of different people who were incarcerated who went through the program to learn how to code um and went
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made it through the program successfully and became really outstanding citizens because they were giving the opportunity
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they were given a chance uh to redeem themselves and and um this program has
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0% recidivism rate which means anybody who's incarcerated that went through this program um never went back right
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and that's the thing that's not that's rare that's rare that doesn't happen no that's Haley's comic yeah that's once
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every 75 years that's what makes this program effective Ryan is here Ryan Leaf
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he's our new host of The Last Mile radio show this man was a former quarterback
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at Washington State Pack 12 offensive player of the year in 1997 to Mike mes
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first team allamerican Mike mes a Heisman trophy finalist this guy was he
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was uh led to the Cougars led the Cougars to the 1997 Rose Bowl he was the
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number two overall in the 1998 NFL Draft by the San Diego Chargers and he spent
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four years in the league and then the then eventually he began uh when he left
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the league it's when we started started having some fun he started having some fun and um some would say it was a fall
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from grace some right yeah you became um addicted to opioids yeah yeah well I
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mean I had 15 surgeries from playing that game okay so I mean you get beat up for a living you go you go in on Sunday
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Saturdays even when I was playing you go through about I don't know 15 to 20 car accidents okay essentially that's that's
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what it is equivalent to yeah equivalent to that so you just you you figure out
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whatever you can do to play and after those surgeries they gave me this opiate painkiller and it's there's a reason why
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it exists like it was built to take away your physical pain that you're going through and then once I was done going
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through that physical pain I went back to competing which is what I love to do and so I never thought about it again
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mhm then when my career ended and it wasn't you know it was so hyped like it
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was Payton Manning and it was me yeah and so there there was just so much hype around it so much expectation and and
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and I I did not know how to deal with failure what you know you don't realize you fail every damn day in the whole
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life you failed but to do it on the biggest stage in front of everybody man that just that crippled my psyche yeah
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and I wasn't able to cuz I was such an immature kid you know emotionally
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emotional maturity once you're 13 years old and you're told you got a golden arm you got to be placed on that
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pedestal man you there's a lot of entitlement that comes with it psychological right psychologically and
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then when you on that pedestal in those years of college in those years of the NFL you got a thousand friends right and
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then when you laugh family family and friends when you start going through
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this challenge when you became addicted and it starts you started going through this spiral how many people were around
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you well let's put it this way so when when people wanted to be critical and I
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do think constructively you know my parents were that okay they Unconditionally Love Me they they wanted
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to show me the mirror and say Hey you have the world at your fingertips don't mess this up but instead of you know
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allowing constructive criticism I just surrounded myself with people that told
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me that I was right or that I was the victim in all this because they knew that they were going to get that ride
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some of them even uh you know essentially were were cousins you know and um i i i liken them two like
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incredibly high priced call girls no matter what I was paying for somebody to spend time with me you know essentially
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like just to be be with me they just happened to be dudes and my cousins and they spent all my money and I didn't get
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laid out of the deal I guess is the the way to put it um but it it is what it is
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and then what's funny is when when it when it all goes away and then when you know you become this laughing stock and
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you go to prison they're gone they're out of there right they're out of there and and they're not so what I did find
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out really truthfully is I found out who my real friends are through this process too through this process how did you end
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in prison how did that land so I'd love to say like I I didn't know
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a drug dealer and I became addicted to these painkillers my doctors were my drug dealer I would go in and I would
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manipulate you know I was in physical pain but I also was in a bunch of emotional pain and I would manipulate
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the doctors to get as many pills as I could but eventually like any you know addict you you get to a place where
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the tolerance is just through the roof and so I ended up back in my home Community where I'm not I'm not a liked
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person um why not you know I grew up uh wanting to be uh the Fab Five it's just
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different generation right I I Jaylen Rose and and Chris Weber and those guys
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I wore my you know shorts down to my knees black socks shaved head earrings
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and in Montana where I grew up you know they always wanted a professional athlete and instead they got me okay and
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that wasn't who they you know they're very conservative very white privileged Community uh they'd like to hang their
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hat on and were hardworking and all this you know BS they just aren't weren't very welcoming to somebody outside so
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they shamed the hell out of me growing up like and I looked in the mirror all the time and I'm like I'm not good enough you know and so
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there was a lot of shame that went with that so I was never really okay with who I was so when I was a great athlete in
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college and in the pros I was always trying to stick it to and give it back to him and then you know I just couldn't
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go hey I you know I forgive you you were you were bad you know you were you were
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shaming to me let's let's do this together instead I said I'm going to rub this all in your face and and show you
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every every ounce of what comes forward so um that that was kind of my my journey there and then I you know
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because of that I ended up in my hometown and uh going to friend's houses pretending I was interested in spending
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time with them going through their medicine cabinet till ultimately I was like the burglar bro I was like looking
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up open houses in the newspaper and uh showing up the house and in a peacat
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looking like a you know I didn't look like a burglar uh and they may have known who I was they're like oh Ryan could afford this house I mean nine
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times out of 10 there were some sort of opiate painkiller in the medicine cabinet you know my hometown became my drug dealer but what does that say about
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your hometown where n 90% of the homes has opioids in it what's going on with America that's the problem right it was
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it was a an epidemic that was going on what's funny about it is this too like people will go get their wisdom teeth
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pull and the doctor will prescribe some Opia true and they'll go home and they'll take two like like a normal
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person I remember when I would be in somebody's house and I would take their pills and I get it to them I look and they were like prescribed like a year
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ago and I'd go and they've only taken two of them like what the hell's wrong with these people because I'm a junkie
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and they don't they're not and they they didn't take them they took they took them like normal people right um and so
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luckily for me you know my hometown became my my drug dealer uh but luck you know I'm not I'm not a great criminal
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I'm 6'7 270 lbs you know I'm not you know the cat burglar no sneaking in on
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people's homes they see you bro they could see you that damn that big old white boy over there coming out of that
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house house that don't look right that don't look right and uh and sure enough I got found out pretty quick March 30th
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2012 Sheriff's Department showed up and saved my life it saved your life because they incarcerated you they arrested you
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yeah I couldn't do it on my own how long did you spend incar already almost 3 years yeah and and how did you spend
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your time because that's important what was your program nothing get fat eat bad food sell my coffee get more ramens out
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of the deal treat treat the guards like you know that that was but you taught people how to read yeah
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eventually like 26 of those 32 months I was the worst possible version of myself really wow bloed up to like 325 lbs
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tried to get the the the guards to fight each other you know get get some of the
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um the black guards to get angry with the white guards I I was just so miserable it was the worst possible
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version of me what I thought the guy getting arrested was the worst possible version of Me no it was it was that version of me without the drugs cuz I
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couldn't take the edge off or do whatever I could so I just bro man I just did everything I made the cops go
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get my mail for me and deliver it to me I went outside twice I would grow my hair out and my beard like crazy and
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they'd make me go down and do the change the ID thing because you got to look like your appearance and soon as that you know they'd for take me forever to
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get there and then I'd remove all my money off my com off my off my books so I couldn't pay for the thing and so the
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state would have to pay for the ID I mean I was this is this is deep diving stuff y'all and then uh I go back to the
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I go back to the cell and i' shave it all off after the day they cut it so I they tried to give me back down to take a picture again I mean I just would do
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anything that was defined I was the worst possible version of myself so what is that what kind of programs and tools
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did they offer at the prison that to keep people occupied what what kind of not I was in a for-profit prison okay
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Crossroads correctional facility and uh it incentivizes judges and Das to to get jail time because they
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already have deals with the state and so it was not a rehabilitative place mainly because the turnover is so
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great I mean you you start to maybe trust a therapist that you started to talk to Boom they're gone I mean they're
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often some other job because it's not a conducive place for for healthy um
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relationship ship in those in those in those places and so um luckily for me my
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higher power whatever that is in in in it's in Infinite Wisdom just you know
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showed up in the form of my my roommate in jail yeah I was going to ask you you
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must have hit a crossroad at turning point at someplace because you're here talking about the last mile is that when
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it happened yeah it it uh you know my roommate was an Afghan Iraqi War veteran
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okay he was a real one yeah and he had done something that I think think everybody's probably done at some point
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in their life and and had too many drinks and drove okay and he killed somebody that night he was home on I
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don't know if he was home on leave from uh from a tour in Afghanistan but he did and he went to
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prison and had spent the last eight years there he went in in 23 and he was now like 31 years old and he was my
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roommate and he was not Resolute with being that person and he tried to better himself every day I mean he was getting
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it you know taking his acts cuz when he got out if he ever got out he wanted to
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you know get his uh um GI Bill and go to engineering school become like a
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helicopter pilot I mean like he you know he wanted to change there was hope for him and I didn't have any of that and I
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looked at him one day and I was like what's wrong with you bro I mean we are a number we've been warehoused we're
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losers and luckily for me he never listened to me he just tried to keep doing more and more and then one day he
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had had enough of my BS mhm and he just said you don't understand the value that you have Ryan not only for the men in
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here but for when you get out and so he suggested we go down to the prison library and help prisoners who didn't know how to read learn how to read and
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man I I've had all those come to Jesus moments in my life from coaches from mentors from family and I just you know
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I just told him no big strong football player I don't need your help you know so I can't tell you why I
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went maybe because the substance had been out of my system for 26 months mhm but still went begrudgingly I
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remember walking down the hallway my red red prison suit you know like
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metaphorically kicking these rocks on the ground like a little child thinking this is stupid this isn't going to help me doesn't he know how important I am
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and then that right there is the the entirety of the problem for me like the guy who's in a prison jumpsuit in a
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prison hallway still thinks his ass is still got that eagle yeah still thinks he's important yeah and then I walk into
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this room and here's this I don't probably would have said he was between 50 and 60 years old native American guy
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from my home state in Montana there he just he flat out said hey I never I
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never learned how to read I've been faking it my whole life could you help me and I'd never seen another peer or a
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man actually ask somebody for help not in movies not in real life the cowboy culture of Montana locker rooms in the
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NFL I just you've never seen a man go I'm really hurting here can you help
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me so if you haven't seen it and the masc you know the the toxic masculinity
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of of like men needing help how are you supposed to do it and so my first reaction was
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almost like what's wrong with this dude and then we just got to work in the
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worst possible environment you can imagine is two men going through incredibly adverse times were there for
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one another like he did as much for me as I did for him and trying to help him read but it's not like this changes
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overnight like I didn't go back to my cell and go ah got this figured out got it unlocked now I'll be good
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like it takes time you don't it's like going to the gym you don't go to the gym one day and you wake up the next morning you look like the rock no you got you
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gotta you got to put in the time the consistency of it so you know months passed months passed kept doing it came
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to TA for the substance abuse counselor and then when uh my parole came up cuz I kept denying my parole too I could have
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been out you denied your own parole I could have I could have been out in six months you knew you weren't ready I
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didn't want to I wanted to be dead so like I thought either I'm a I thought I
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was uh uh this is the worst thing a I thought I was punishing my family like have keeping me me away from it's it's
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just it's a sick mind secondly I I think that I'm drama free Ry from my community
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I'm locked up three Hots in a cot your responsibility I don't got to do anything you know
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nothing you know you're you're psychologically your mind is Warped in that sense and so yeah I denied my Pearl
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three times and so finally the last one came around and my roommate said he was
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up for his I I can't remember his second or third shot at Pearl and he said uh um
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I'll I'll put it mine up if you put yours up and so we both did and we both
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got them wow wow man get out of man whoever what's that roommate's name bro
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can you say his first name I'll tell you his first name is Josh Josh salute to Josh by the way man you got out no he
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was a he was a guardian angel he was your angel bro not even on it did you stay in touch with Josh that's dope yeah
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he went to school uh my wife and I uh we were down celebrating my father's 70th
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birthday party in Nashville and we uh I got to introduce him to my wife and everything but I mean like like anything
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though like the last mile what it does well well talk about that how did you find the last mile well let's go to this
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first like so people understand what it's like for somebody to get out I know you probably think famous former
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football player multi-millionaire he walks out of prison and it's easier the transition is much easier for him so
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when I walk into prisons and talk now I got I got to I got to bring them down to earth real quick with this like so
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December 3rd 2014 so by the way it's just the 10 year anniversary a 10 year this is now I
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can't do the the speech thing now when I tell people like not even a decade ago I was in I was in a 10 by 12 cell yeah you
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know it's the the the movie voice you see in the trailers and uh you got the same voice when you're not trying to do
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it I'm just it's a will faroh you know very uh uh you know very white comedian
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guy yeah um so I walked out and there was I mean there's nothing right I don't have any money like I spent all my money
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it's gone I don't have a penny I can rub together there uh is no job you know no
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one wants to hire me no one wants to be around me what I did have and what I think I had that a lot of people don't
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have normally have is I had a couple I had my parents still there who they never needed a famous football playing
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son they just wanted a son to be you know at peace yeah and I had a place to
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lay my head that that that was the difference right most people don't when they get out and they tend to go back to
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what they know and that's just muscle memory and so I had a place to lay my head but you know no one wanted to be
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around me you know there wasn't SiriusXM NFL radio wasn't going hey Ryan come do the the Monday Morning Show you know
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every week no one wanted to be around me and I remember waking up the next morning kind of you know grateful there
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was hope because of what I did while I was in there I was being of service to another human being for the first time in my
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life and I had this hope and I slept in a real bed for the first time in three years so there was some gratitude in that bro I wake up the next morning in
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my hometown newspaper the Great Falls Tribune and I love throwing the Great Falls Tribune on blast here because this is the this was the this was the
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wrongest that there is I wake up the next morning I'm eating my breakfast my ego's not great 38 Used to Be a
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Millionaire there mom's cooking me breakfast right yeah open up the paper and there's
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a cartoon in it big old goofy caricature with me big teeth you know lock up your medicine cabinets Ryan Leafs out and
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whatever hope whatever semblance of hope that there was there for me like that was dashed my immediate muscle memory
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was to find pills like I was like it was over luckily enough I I I because of the
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work I did in there I disassociate and I looked at myself and I said you know where this
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goes so I went down to the the homeless shelter in the mission and I started working down there and more importantly
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I just started sitting down with guys and girls and letting them talk to me the biggest thing in those situations
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when you're in the in the place where you don't feel seen to to be seen and be heard that that's that makes the
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difference all the difference in the world it's everything bro it's everything and I didn't really do
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anything I just sat there and and made them feel like they were seen and heard and that changed me that got me back to
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making it about other people and that really was the truth behind it the only way I'm here the only way I'm getting to do this if 10 years ago I didn't start
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making it about other people yeah what did what was it about and for those don't that don't know um The Last Mile
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the same program that I'm a part of yeah what appealed to you about the last smile and how did you get
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involved well Chris Chris redlitz chis founder with Bev yeah with Bev sent uh
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sent his is a blood hound out after me to get me to do the podcast um I didn't know really much about it and soon as I
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anytime I do anything like this I always want to make sure they're shared values when I did their podcast that what they
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believe in is what I believe in so we can work together to make it better and I went and did the podcast and then I
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looked into it more and then I invited him and his son out to play some golf and we started talking and he said I
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told him I was going to be in Montana where I'm from where I spent my time in prison incarcerated where they now have
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a program in the Montana State Prison and I was going to be home speaking and he said would you be willing to go back
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into prison and talk to our our our class uh and when I'm asked to be of
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service now I do it I don't care what it is and I walked into that state prison in Montana where I I hadn't been back
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since I left and I talked to them and when I got out Kevin McCracken who's now the executive director of the program he
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got back to Chris and said dude this this guy um he just is able to relate
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with these guys better than anybody because everybody sees him as this famous football player but he steps in that room and is like these are my
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people though yeah yeah man get this man around round of a Brian Leaf he's our
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new host of The Last Mile uh show that's on Triumph our channel here that's on
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Urban view as well you can go to Last Mile YouTube channel as well correct and
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uh you can hit them up directly what's your Instagram cuz a lot of people the phones are light lit up and we gonna take these callers what's your Instagram
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Ryan d okay Mike mus l e a like on a tree baby Mike you want to chime in yeah
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it's interesting sitting here uh watching you actually more so than listening to you watching you um you are
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a representation work you never know um where life is going to take you so I was
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actually at that Rose Bowl game um in 1997 I went to University of Michigan yeah and I was at that game when we
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played you and that was our path and National Championship that year and yeah it was a great game so watching you
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being quarterback on that field when we last won our national championship to see you now it's it's a mind switch for
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me right it's kind of like a a weird universe6 years of watching you perform
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in that field and you played a a fantastic game during that time period and then to see you go through where
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where you went through I'm just curious when did you shed that ego um because that came up a lot in your conversation
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your story about you still felt important uh even in prison and so I'm curious at what moment did you begin
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to shed that ego to begin to work on your healing I think when when when I
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truly well a I accepted what I was you know I
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was I like to put it some guy gave me this the other day and I I told him I was going to steal it I I'm not the the
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high prospect that didn't meet expectations I'm the junkie that hit it big is the way I look at it like I was
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always down here and I worked my tail out to get where I was at and that's the way I had to look at it
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once I started being of service to other people the the irony of being a narcissist which is essentially what an
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egomaniac is with a self-esteem problem you believe that for your life
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to get better everything has to be about you like what you can give me or what you can offer me or what do I get out of
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the deal and clearly that doesn't work so what as it turns out what works and
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it maybe it just works for me but I I feel like it does for everybody else when you make it about somebody else your life gets better yeah and that's
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kind of ironic to where my mindset was but I was so angry too I just wanted to I wanted to show everybody that they
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were wrong when really what other people think of me is is is none of my business
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and it was so much of my business for the longest time and what's ironic about
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all this 10 years later and it's been a gradual Ascent is that I'm more confident as a human being with all the
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baggage with all the stuff now cuz everybody knows about it I'm like B rabbit in eight m like I'm going to tell
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everybody my stuff so whatever the hell you want to say don't yeah that's it they don't you don't got nothing the
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power's gone yeah I I told you that you said I'm a Jun yeah I know that I'm a seven time convicted F yes I told you
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that and I'm showing you how it happened how I got help and guess what how we're
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helping everybody else so I'm more confident as a human being with all that baggage and all that stuff than I ever
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was as an NFL quarterback which is when I finally figured that out I was just like what the what that doesn't make
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sense though bro wow man I love that great question Mike um we got Ryan Leaf here a couple of people on the phone we
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got Kevin from Denver what up Kev and Kev says he used to play with you at Washington
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State Kev who who we got Kev yeah what's this this ma what's up buddy n yo he he
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you recognize his voice right away yeah dude well him and I were together for three years together just constantly I
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should have known that when they said Denver what's up what's up yo this is so crazy
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K9 I'm chilling man I'm chilling it's crazy hearing you on my show I watched this I listen to the show every single
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morning um man Tracy G Heather be shout out to each and every one of Y doing
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your thing mik Mike Ms I tune in to listen to you on political side uh but
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now I cannot listen to you because you you said now I know you know K Kay
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caught the touchdown in the Rose bow from me what we run what was it hunt or why hunt uh why hunt yeah it was y hunt he
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was playing y that day yeah yo that's crazy talking to you I just want to say but you guys gave us a great run for the money that day give us two more seconds
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yo Kev Kev and I did notice Mike said that like three times sorry our way to the champion but but but keev Kev what
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was he like in college when like when you hear this story what was he like in college and how does this make you feel
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to see where he is today well first off um I'm extremely proud of of uh of the
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transformation uh of my boy Ryan and everything that he's been doing I've been following him um because it's
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really inspirational to to witness um and back then he's not lying you know
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he's not lying he was uh egotistical and and everything that he talked about um
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but at the same time you take that and you want to install some of those same
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uh traits in your starting quarterback you want them to have those things because it comes right Ong with
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leadership um but you know hey you know like Ryan said it may have went a little
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bit over the top but uh but the transformation is is really what I what I Kev that team though we were all we
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were all confident bro crazy yeah yeah yeah no one was sto with us yeah well man I mean all the work that we put in
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the summertime and all that other stuff man it was just uh you know it just propelled us into the success that we
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that we uh that we witnessed that's beautiful Kevin I appreciate you calling brother I miss you all right you guys
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y'all get in contact and Kev you're a super citizen brother thanks for listening toab first
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time man he called on the perfect day perfect day just had to get Ryan on the show to get him a call I love thank you
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Ryan Hey welcome to the special Team all right Kev you're a citizen brother I'm going do one more call because we had
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somebody that played football with them but we also have someone from Montana who was in prison with you really are
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you serious I can't make this up Sean's on the line Sean welcome to the show what's good y'all how y'all doing
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this morning excellent you remember this guy what's up Ryan what's up yeah man I was I was up in Shelby with you man I
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was uh in deod with you in the hon pod man really uh I got Paro yeah I got Paro
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in 2013 from there but uh yeah I'm sitting there for eight and a half years for arm Robbie but yeah I remember the
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day you came in man we like yeah this a superstar guy right here what we got you
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know I didn't I didn't come out of my room much did I I pretty much just sat in my room yeah no man you the the most
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humblest person you know we didn't and nobody we we expected you to you know be Mr bige head and big shot we came in
27:40
like man this dude kind of cool man he humble he down to earth he right here with us man so wow what's up I'm a r fan
27:47
now you know I appreciate that brother yeah I just I think I think I I think I had been humbled right I I just or I'd
27:55
just been beaten and and you know that feeling like being that that facility you just you kind of feel so beaten by
28:02
everybody and you just finally just kind of either you keep fighting or you just kind of sit you know yeah like this
28:08
ain't it man this ain't it God got something for me amen that's that's the same thing I looked at you know because
28:15
and and you know how they do it in Montana you ain't getting your first parole you know it's gonna take an act
28:20
of God you know so I said at eight and a half years and by the grace of God I got my first I'm still here in Montana I'm
28:27
in Billing I own two businesses and I ain't looking back man but I definitely remember you man I appreciate that
28:34
brother we got to recruit him for the last smile we got to man hey seriously
28:39
when I get when I come back to Montana to record uh let's get you on one of the pods man I think that would be powerful
28:46
okay you what say I was going to say can they take his phone number so he can get we got it right we got it right here yo yo take a picture of that number for me
28:53
yeah all right hey Sean I appreciate you hold on the line you're a citizen man hold on the line
28:58
all right Ryan Leaf man you're amazing yes your story was crazy bro bro this is
29:04
the reach make but it's your story Kevin's never called here before he just
29:09
listens first Sean's never called he just listens it's your story and your story is where your value you need to go
29:16
through there go through that to get to here he fell into Grace you fell into Grace you didn't fall from i' I've been
29:23
carried it's uh um there's there's a lot of reasons why
29:28
I feel like I probably shouldn't be the one that's here I mean I played with Junior SE I played with uh I know
29:35
vinston Jackson both um unbelievable players at the NFL level that are both gone now yeah and so there's there's
29:42
yeah I mean there's real survivors guilt at times because like why is it me I do
29:48
think their stories would be more impactful so it's there's a purpose there's only a reason why I'm here
29:53
there's I mean especially in Montana where per capita there's more guns and homes than anywhere else and I was in as
29:59
I tell people all the time if you were in Great Falls from 2010 to 2012 I was probably in your house wow I was a
30:04
horrible drug fiend and I was the ends Justified the means and the fact that I wasn't shot yeah is is is something
30:12
somebody's hand on me placing me in a place where I needed to be yo give it up
30:17
for Ryan Leaf man big round of applause

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