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hi I'm Ro and I want to feel confident
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in my body as a non-binary person so I'm
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taking part in an eight-week
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transformation program with my protein
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which will give me the tools to take
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control of my diet and fitness like a PT
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and all the products that I need during
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so in terms of my history of diet and
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I'd say like a yo-yo I had quite a
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difficult relationship with like my body
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when I was a teenager I'm still kind of
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fixing those behaviors and kind of
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making peace with my body that's that's
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something that is like an everyday thing
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for me starting a transformation now
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kind of coincides with
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myself as a non-binary person starting
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testosterone I'm going to be going
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through a lot of change both mentally
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and physically so being able to kind of
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refine those changes and
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utilize this like confidence I've got
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because I've got a like a newfound sense
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of confidence that's come with feeling
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valid in my body and valid in my
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identity and my gender it's a really big
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step in feeling comfortable in myself
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and feeling aligned with the version of
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me that I know I am in terms of
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something that I'd really want to
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achieve it's being able to do something
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like say a deadlift or being able to
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lift something that's like heavy and
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feel oh this wasn't hard like I feel
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strong I feel I feel good doing this
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how do you feel about yourself now I
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um I feel a lot more confident in myself
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um it's been a really interesting
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like look at my body but not scrutinize
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it so much so I feel really like
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happy with myself I know there's still a
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lot more that I would like to do but I'm
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at a good point with myself I think I
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think what's one thing that you've
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learned about your body over the course
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of the program one thing that I've
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learned is that I actually can lift
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I didn't think I could I really didn't
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think I could I was like oh no I'm just
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going to be stuck like lifting like the
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smallest weights for the rest of my life
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but now I've built up that kind of
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strength and I can I can do it and
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that's really nice what was the biggest
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challenge for yourself you're going to
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get covered and it's going to be like
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halfway through so you'll have built up
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a real uh kind of routine and then it's
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going to get wiped out in like an
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instant and it's gonna feel really hard
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to get back on track keep with it and
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stick with it even though it might seem
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really difficult and you'll like really
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not want to so what do you see yourself
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doing now you're gonna actually stick
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um because it's been really easy in the
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past for you to just go oh I give up I'm
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not seeing results so that's it let's
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move on to the next kind of fad I think
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you're going to build a much better
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your body and how you see yourself and
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yeah it's really exciting you're gonna
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you're gonna have a good time I think
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talk to me a little bit about what those
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goals are and what changes that you want
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to see over the next eight weeks because
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I'm non-binary I've got kind of a
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very particular idea in my mind of what
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my body should look like I'm trying to
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move a bit more towards like the
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masculine so building up kind of muscle
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feeling confident in myself like I'm not
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really looking to like have any extreme
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changes anything like that it's more so
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feeling strong and confident in myself
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yeah row is a non-binary person and they
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are looking to develop a more masculine
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body so what we have done is we have
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gone with a strength training based
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program where we'll be working mainly
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off of machines dumbbells kettlebells
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and a couple of barbell exercises where
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they feel the most comfortable as
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they're not quite confident to go into
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the bigger weight section as of yet I
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was assigned female at Birth so I have a
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body that if a regular person walking
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down the street saw me they would go
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that's a woman but there's things that I
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can do to kind of change my body or like
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um just change areas of it that would
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make me feel more at home more
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comfortable in myself more confident so
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that's something that's like a real big
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thing for me like in the past I would
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have focused a lot more on trying to
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lose weight trying to make myself
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smaller but I've realized now that that
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wasn't like something that made me happy
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what actually will make me happy is
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feeling strong I'm feeling like I can
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take up space yeah I really really love
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that around nutrition row is a
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vegetarian but doesn't eat dairy
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products either so that is very tailored
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to their lifestyle they don't like
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getting overwhelmed when they're in the
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kitchen so they don't want hundreds and
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hundreds of ingredients on their recipes
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or meals that are very complicated so
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we've included the things that they
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enjoy like takeaways Chinese foods more
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Savory Foods like crisps and stuff like
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that to snack on so that they can feel
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it is realistic for them to stick to
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that meal plan and make the progress
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so we're going to be doing three
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physical assessments now just testing
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your strength and your Fitness a little
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bit so we're going to do a core and
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upper and a lower body exercise core
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being plank upper body your push-ups
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maximum amounts in a minute and your
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squats will be your maximum amount of
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squats in a minute we're going to start
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with planks two one and up we pop there
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so squeeze in the back push through the
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floor through your arms and then
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obviously just nice big breaths in and
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and do maximum squats in a minute and
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then maximum push-ups in a minute and
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three two one and off we go I'll count
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it's just your own pace
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done that's it rest in there lovely
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stuff that was 13 squats okay so that's
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something we'll look at improving on in
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the future and then our last one is
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going to be maximum push-ups three two
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one and off we go there so just as low
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as you can it might not be very low yeah
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hold it there and as you come up that's
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it five seconds see if you can get one
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there we go rest in there that's it yeah
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it's nice so like I said it doesn't
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matter how many reps we get today it's
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just a comparison that we're gonna use
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and equally we're going to look at
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seeing better form as well in the eight
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um probably about 95 through definitely
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been a bit anxiety and due to kind of
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getting used to the space feeling like I
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belong here but I've been able to
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navigate it last couple of exercises and
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then it's home for lunch so
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gel for like four days now and uh one of
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the main things is uh
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yeah like flu-like symptoms I'm really
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feeling them at the moment uh so it's
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been quite hard this morning to kind of
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get up and stay on track but I'm gonna
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attempt to go out now and grab some kind
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of ingredients so I can come back and
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here we go so um our pizza rolls are out
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of the oven but these are the ones I'm
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gonna have for my lunch now I know it's
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like a dead simple thing but um I'm
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really proud of myself because normally
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I wouldn't actually make the effort to
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I've just got home from the gym and it
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was okay it was all right I survived
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starting to feel more kind of
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confident in terms of like
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being in the space and I've started to
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be able to kind of like recognize what
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machines are For What and how to do it
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so I don't feel as kind of worried about
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doing it wrong or anybody judging me so
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yeah it's good today was today was a
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good day just back from a session at the
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gym that was hamstring and
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we'll say glute focused I think I'm
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really really happy with half day one
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really felt like I was pushing myself up
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this kind of wrapped and
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um weights on pretty much every exercise
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so that's a real Plus
9:16
um just a little end of week check-in
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this week's been really good really
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really good I'm genuinely really happy
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with how it's gone I hit my workout
9:28
um I've been pretty much mostly on plan
9:30
with eating there's been like a couple
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of kind of afternoons out something
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really kind of important to me that I've
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noticed especially in the last couple of
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weeks is I don't feel like guilt and I
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used to feel if I did have something
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that maybe was like indulgent like going
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for a meal with my like partner I could
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do it and I came away and I felt good
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that wasn't it I wasn't off the wagon
9:56
for the day that's been really nice to
9:58
kind of feel comfortable in treating
10:00
myself because there isn't anything
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wrong with like having something nice as
10:04
long as it's kind of in moderation so I
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felt so accomplished coming out the gym
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and I'm really kind of finding my groove
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lots to talk about today
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um today has been pretty intense
10:19
as we were leaving the gym because I go
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to the gym with my partner
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um a staff member at the gym uh talking
10:29
to one of their clients and essentially
10:31
it was along the lines of he couldn't be
10:35
any more parts of the acronym the lgbtq
10:42
you didn't want to know about them he
10:43
didn't he thought it was a waste of time
10:45
he didn't understand it and queer people
10:48
were the butt of the joke
10:49
so to speak and to hear something like
10:51
that in a space where
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where you want to feel confident you
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want to feel safe to be yourself and
10:59
I've been doing really well going to the
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pushed through that lack of Confidence
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from years of just feeling inadequate
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and that was as as I said a CIS woman
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but now as a gender non-conforming
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it's even harder it's so much harder
11:20
because at its core the gym wasn't built
11:24
for bodies like mine
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it's built from a male body
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so to hear that reinforce to know that
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you're not welcome that you're an
11:33
inconvenience that you're
11:38
to somebody who's supposed to kind of
11:40
offer support and advice because
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one of the greatest things about this
11:44
that I've encountered so far is the fact
11:45
I've had such a supportive team around
11:48
um that have just been great with every
11:51
part of my existence and and my needs
11:54
and wants but then anyway
11:59
um we did our field shop and I thought
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oh I feel I feel quite worn down I don't
12:03
feel too well you know
12:06
so I thought I'll take a little covered
12:10
so that's put a bit of a spanner in the
12:12
works for the next couple of days I feel
12:15
okay at the moment but I feel like a bit
12:17
of a sore throat um and I'm a little bit
12:24
beat myself up if I can't do
12:27
what I was supposed to do
12:33
it's been such a big hike
12:35
change like a jump like I know we've
12:38
tried to do stuff before where we've
12:40
tried to get fit and like stick with the
12:43
gym and that but I don't know
12:45
having something so comprehensive I
12:46
guess changed our like idea of what I
12:51
being healthy can be the gym I guess the
12:57
a bit of like a that's the harder it's
12:59
been hard hasn't it yeah going back that
13:06
we had kind of the the thing of
13:10
experiencing something really unpleasant
13:13
like like kind of like a homophobic kind
13:15
of thing and then I got covered so I was
13:19
already kind of thrown off about going
13:21
back into that space because suddenly it
13:24
like not ours again like we'd really
13:28
worked hard to make that space feel our
13:31
own because I remember those you know
13:32
those like first couple of days that we
13:33
went to the gym and I was like verge of
13:36
tears I was so scared that there that
13:40
was like the most frustrating thing
13:43
in the space of somebody's 30-second
13:46
conversation had just undone our work
13:48
suddenly feeling very out of depth in a
13:53
already felt uncomfortable in so that's
13:56
probably the hardest thing
13:58
reclaim in that space I guess over the
14:01
next couple of weeks again
14:03
we'll we'll do that we'll build back
14:05
we'll build back into it I didn't like
14:07
realize I like lifting heavy things I
14:11
and that's not going to change now like
14:13
now I know that and I know that I belong
14:15
in a gym and I can take up that space
14:18
and do those things like that's not
14:21
going to go away it has been gender
14:23
affirming even though it is hard it's
14:27
kind of issues the the kind of adversity
14:29
that we've faced as queer people going
14:31
into a traditionally non-queer space
14:34
but I don't feel as scared anymore I
14:38
don't feel like this isn't for me or I
14:41
don't belong here and it has been
14:42
affirming like I actually didn't realize
14:44
how much it was that he was supposed to
14:45
eat like we definitely weren't eating
14:47
enough so we didn't realize that's so
14:51
interesting I'm eating more but I'm
14:54
feeling better for it we have pancakes
14:56
for breakfast the other day yeah on a
14:58
meal plan I know it's ridiculous it
15:01
wasn't daunting like I didn't feel
15:03
intimidated trying to cook them and like
15:05
trying to try to figure it out and I
15:08
wasn't there having to like go oh but
15:09
that's got this amount of this and this
15:11
amount of this in it I wasn't thinking
15:13
it I was just going that's actually
15:14
going to be a really nice breakfast for
15:16
us it's it's been hard but I feel like
15:19
the payoff has been worth it like we're
15:22
getting there now and obviously we've
15:24
got like a couple more weeks of just
15:34
um a long time no see I had covered I
15:38
did say in my last late Vlog that I'd
15:41
got covered I think that was the day I'd
15:44
like found out since then oh my god I've
15:47
been like wiped out so the gym has kind
15:50
of been out of the question
15:52
um but I'm getting back into it
15:54
quite nervous to go back to the gym
15:56
that's my dog in the background sorry
15:58
um I'm nervous to go back because it's
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been quite a while and
16:02
the fatigue that I've had it's been
16:05
bad fight I didn't realize how tired I
16:08
would feel doing the smallest of tasks
16:12
I'm ready to go back now I think so
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dog bark hello just checking in as it's
16:20
the well it's just after the first time
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that I've been back to the gym in like
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over two weeks so since I had covered
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I really really didn't want to go if I'm
16:32
gonna be quite honest but I did
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got in there I was really stressed out
16:38
um I was really really anxious just
16:41
didn't know how it was going to be
16:42
um it was hard it was a lot harder than
16:44
it had been in the past I guess because
16:47
I kind of got into that routine
16:49
um but I did it and I think I've gone
16:51
over that kind of mental block or like
16:54
hurdle of like not wanting to go because
16:57
it feels like ages since I've been Pride
16:59
herself for doing it
17:01
just now need to stick with getting back
17:03
into the routine it's the start of a new
17:08
on campus today so I've been in the
17:11
office all day I'm very breathless since
17:13
covered so it's kind of made things
17:15
quite a bit harder to kind of
17:18
stay on track and stay kind of on
17:20
plan right now I'm just going to make
17:24
the peace and the sun
17:26
um because I'm in Sunny anymore but like
17:30
um because I think that's a good thing
17:31
to kind of consider the balance as well
17:33
like taking time for yourself and
17:36
your body's limits off
17:40
my name is Darren I'm a live protein PT
17:43
So today we're going to go through your
17:44
final assessment following your eight
17:46
week transformation program so first of
17:48
all we're going to go through the plank
17:49
so upon assessment last time you're
17:51
doing 30 seconds which is pretty
17:52
impressive So today we're going to try
17:54
and see if we can improve on that
17:58
slightly dropped off to perfect hold
18:01
back position okay feeling okay
18:03
performs absolutely perfect
18:10
what do you think you're done I don't
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know one one 122. nowhere
18:17
a minute and 22. so what we're going to
18:20
do for the next part of the assessment
18:21
is have a look at your press up push-up
18:23
so last time you're doing 11 in 60
18:26
seconds so that is a that is a score to
18:28
beat today okay let's go
18:35
16. keep going keep going when you've
18:47
so for the next part of the assessment
18:49
we're going to have a look at your squat
18:50
so upon the first assessment you've done
18:53
13 in 60 seconds so we're going to try
18:56
and beat that today three two one let's
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but we're about locking out then you
19:03
10 now in 20 seconds okay when you've
19:06
got one more on time oh my God I could
19:09
see the smile on your face as you was
19:11
doing it so literally a theater
19:20
my body does feel different I think my
19:23
posture is better I think I carry myself
19:26
differently because there's a more I
19:29
feel more confident in myself
19:32
lifting something heavy has made me feel
19:36
feels really euphoric it really actually
19:38
has helped you can be strong whatever
19:41
gender presentation you have but I feel
19:44
like it's allowed me to feel more at
19:50
I feel like my arms might have changed
19:51
like a little bit there's definitely
19:53
start I'm definitely starting to see
19:55
like a little bit of like definition
19:57
I'm not beating myself up for having
19:59
having a body and that's nice because
20:03
any change that I do experience I'm not
20:06
now going I've got to do that I've got
20:08
to do that it's more just kind of like a
20:09
happy thing if it does happen
20:13
and like the small changes I'm starting
20:17
um kind of helped obviously by
20:18
testosterone as well
20:19
it all kind of ties in together in
20:23
making me feel less dysphoric in my body
20:26
and just more kind of comfortable and I
20:30
know that that'll carry on the more I
20:32
put into it like the work I put in
20:34
continuously now well
20:38
help me kind of alleviate those feelings
20:42
the main thing I would just say to
20:45
anybody that works in in like in the
20:47
fitness industry and and like pts is a
20:51
willingness to understand and learn can
20:53
change a person's kind of entire
20:55
experience because when you don't do
20:57
that that you've potentially like lost
21:00
that person's confidence
21:03
what we need as like as queer people now
21:08
support we just need to just be treated
21:11
the same and with that same dignity that
21:14
you would want it yourself I know it
21:16
sounds I know it sounds so like
21:18
cheesy but like treat all those how
21:20
you'd want to be treated because
21:25
if I was like more new like newly out
21:28
when that happened that would have set
21:32
so much further because I've become a
21:34
lot more resilient to stuff now because
21:38
yeah that has consequences and it's
21:42
somebody's identity is not a
21:44
inconvenience to you