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Welcome to Adaptable | Behavior Explained! Join us in this powerful exploration of breaking gender stereotypes! In this video, we challenge societal norms and celebrate individuality, showcasing inspiring stories and perspectives that defy traditional gender roles. Let’s embrace diversity and promote a world where everyone can express themselves freely. Together, we can create a more inclusive future! Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share your thoughts in the comments!
I'm Kelly O'Horo, Attachment based EMDR Therapist, EMDRIA Consultant, and Advanced Trainer. I'm a mom of 5, Nonna of 5, wife, and a healer. I have the honor of spending my workdays walking along side people while they brave their healing journeys. I try to live with the generous assumption that we're all doing the best we can with what we know. Therapists are teachers for the "life stuff" and "emotional vocabulary" that may not have been learned due to gaps in our care givers capabilities. In the last 15 years I've learned that people are freaking amazing, resilient, and inspiring. Most importantly, we are hardwired for connection and for healing!
I hope to bring an authentic, compassionate, and unpolished approach while we explore a variety of topics such as parenting, marriage, relationships, dating, trauma, attachment, adoption, depression, addiction, anxiety, and love! There's a why for all behaviors and an explanation that makes perfect sense as emotion is at the root of it all.
-- Links --
https://linktr.ee/kellyohorolpc
https://youtu.be/rLnARKekvgo
https://www.emdria.org/find-an-emdr-therapist/
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0:06
hi everyone I'm Kell ooro and this is
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adaptable Behavior explained hi there
0:12
welcome back to adaptable today we're
0:15
going to take a dive into the world of
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gender stereotypes and we're not just
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talking about the issues we're looking
0:21
at real life examples and we're going to
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figure out steps we can all take to
0:25
break free from these outdated Norms
0:27
it's a big topic and one that touches on
0:29
everything from our personal lives to
0:31
our professional worlds so let's get
0:33
into it and imagine a future where
0:35
everyone's free to be themselves no
0:37
boxes No Labels first we have to start
0:40
with why this topic must be discussed
0:42
and the history behind why gender roles
0:44
uh used to be more necessary and why
0:47
they they need to evolve so gender roles
0:50
are considered outdated by many because
0:52
they're based on societal Norms that
0:54
ascribe specific attributes or roles to
0:57
People based on their gender like the
0:59
idea that men should be Breadwinners and
1:01
women should be Homemakers these
1:03
stereotypes can limit personal freedom
1:06
and ultimately can lead to inequality uh
1:09
they often prevent people from pursuing
1:11
interests and talents because they don't
1:13
align with the traditional gender
1:15
expectations I can remember early in my
1:18
marriage I remember thinking you know
1:20
like the boy is supposed to do the
1:22
outdoor things and do the cars and the
1:24
oil changes and the girl is supposed to
1:27
do all the interior housework cuz that's
1:29
how I was raised raised and in my
1:31
husband and my marriage we very quickly
1:33
realized that wasn't going to work in
1:35
our marriage because there were things
1:37
that I had more Affinity toward that
1:39
would have been considered you know more
1:40
of the the male role and he did things
1:43
inside that I would have thought would
1:45
be more you know the female role and so
1:48
we really changed uh the gender
1:50
expectations in our family system quite
1:53
early in our marriage when it came to
1:55
traditional roles and
1:57
expectations historically gender roles
1:59
worked in the context of societal and
2:01
economic structure that were different
2:03
from today's world for example in the
2:06
early 20th century most women did not
2:08
work outside of the home at all and
2:10
those who did were primarily young and
2:12
indefinitely unmarried this was due in
2:14
part to cultural norms like the nature
2:16
of the work available and legal
2:18
restrictions I mean can women even vote
2:21
no so women's work often included things
2:24
like family businesses and home
2:26
production of goods for sale which
2:28
wasn't really captured in like the labor
2:30
and statistics information additionally
2:33
African-American women were more likely
2:35
to participate in the labor force than
2:37
white women at the time largely because
2:39
they were more likely to remain in the
2:41
labor force after they were married the
2:42
roles were also a reflection of the
2:44
economic and technological realities of
2:47
the time so so much has changed when it
2:49
comes to technology and abilities for
2:51
instance agricultural technology
2:54
language geography pre-industrial
2:56
societal characteristics family
2:58
structures religion
3:00
historical um experiences and shocks all
3:03
play a part in shaping gender roles
3:06
historically so for example like in
3:08
World War II when generally all the men
3:11
left many women joined the workforce in
3:13
ways that they would not have otherwise
3:15
done so because of what was going on in
3:17
the world these roles emerged in
3:19
response to specific events that were
3:21
going on but tended to persist even
3:23
after historical conditions changed so I
3:25
went to work you know for example my my
3:28
grandmother she went to work during War
3:30
II and she worked at Boeing and um she
3:32
continued to work for quite some time
3:34
after the war was over because she liked
3:36
it and it changed their economic
3:38
situation and that was enjoyable for her
3:40
in today's world with increased
3:42
education and technological advancements
3:45
and a shift towards more egalitarian
3:47
values in many families these historical
3:50
gender roles aren't seen as necessary or
3:52
even beneficial and can be kind of
3:54
stagnant instead there's a growing
3:57
recognition of the importance of
3:58
allowing people people to Define their
4:00
own paths free from constraints of
4:03
outdated gender
4:04
expectations uh this shift not only
4:06
promotes personal fulfillment but also
4:09
benefits Society by allowing a more
4:11
diverse and dynamic Workforce and
4:12
Community think about it we all bring
4:14
something different to the table and if
4:16
we can all be considered as part of what
4:19
uh decisions are made then it can often
4:22
be more Dynamic and and more beneficial
4:24
and and this is not just in the
4:25
workforce this is at home you know
4:27
historically men were not considered uh
4:30
caretakers of the children that was kind
4:31
of the women's job and when you think
4:33
about the necessary important roles of a
4:36
dad uh and a male influence in the
4:38
parenting it's really important um
4:41
exposure to certain types of information
4:43
media social interactions can really
4:46
influence the development and
4:48
reinforcement of gender stereotypes and
4:50
biases so let's talk about how exposure
4:53
can shape these perceptions think about
4:56
early childhood and education from a
4:58
young age people are exposed to gender
5:00
stereotypes through even just the toys
5:03
that they play with the color that we
5:05
decorate their rooms the books that they
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read the behaviors uh they observe in
5:10
adults around them so they're being
5:12
taught by what they're presented with
5:14
and what they see their parents and the
5:16
other grown-ups doing and so educational
5:19
settings can either challenge or
5:20
reinforce these stereotypes affecting
5:23
students subject choices and future
5:25
career paths uh when it comes to Media
5:28
representation the trail of genders and
5:30
media roles is crucial stereotypical
5:33
representations in media can strengthen
5:35
beliefs and gender stereotypes and
5:37
endorse traditional gender roles without
5:39
even meaning to do so and they can even
5:42
even Foster sexism and violence in men
5:44
while stifling career Ambitions in women
5:47
so we want to look at all of these
5:49
things when we talk about exposure and
5:51
how we are kind of programmed to do
5:52
specific things there's social learning
5:55
that happens where we're observing and
5:57
watching uh and that can be limited you
6:00
know girls don't do any outdoor uh
6:02
chores and they don't mow Lawns and they
6:05
don't take the trash out and some of
6:07
those ideas can really limit a sense of
6:10
I can and a sense of I'm capable and
6:12
competent and we don't mean to be
6:14
teaching this it's just part of how we
6:16
are programmed Studies have been shown
6:18
that both adolescents and adults exhibit
6:20
biases in social learning where they
6:23
tend to copy behaviors associated with
6:25
their own gender or those that align
6:27
with gender
6:28
stereotypes had a family that I'm
6:30
working with where just the other day
6:32
there was something that came up with
6:33
one of the kiddos about how frustrated
6:36
he was that it was always his job to
6:38
take out the trash because the boy has
6:40
to take out the trash and um this was
6:42
limiting for the girl later because then
6:44
she wasn't allowed to do certain things
6:46
because she was a girl because it wasn't
6:48
as safe for her and so they created some
6:51
competition and some distress and
6:53
frustration even between the siblings
6:55
because of the way the parents were uh
6:58
inadvertently reinforced ing gender
7:00
biases around chores and capabilities
7:03
this can perpetuate gender expectations
7:06
and academic career choices and and
7:09
family systems and so we want to be
7:10
really mindful that this is part of what
7:12
we are doing inadvertently if we want to
7:14
counteract exposure to sexism and things
7:16
like that interestingly sexism doesn't
7:19
always reinforce biases in some cases it
7:22
can motivate individuals to become less
7:24
biased and as they become more aware of
7:26
negative impacts such as stereotypes and
7:29
um that actively work against them they
7:31
can course correct and change direction
7:33
to hopefully help uh hopefully change
7:36
the direction that they were acting in
7:39
and of course we can't ignore implicit
7:41
bias we all have implicit bias even
7:44
brief exposure to stereotypical content
7:46
can strengthen our implicit biases for
7:49
example stories that associate math with
7:51
males can increase math and gender
7:53
stereotypes among children because what
7:56
we are exposed to can either reinforce
7:58
or challenge gender stereotypes and
8:00
biases it's important to be mindful of
8:02
these influences and strive for
8:04
inclusive and diverse representations in
8:07
all aspects of society to promote gender
8:10
equality it's also important to
8:12
recognize that early conditioning uh is
8:15
really part of it imagine a childhood
8:19
Unbound by the colors of pink and blue
8:22
where Toys don't dictate our destiny the
8:24
emotional toll of limiting toys is
8:27
profound stifling creativity and
8:29
self-discovery it puts us in a box and
8:32
we don't think that we can uh leave that
8:34
box because of what we've been um given
8:36
and um a lot of people don't think this
8:38
is real but it really is uh empowering I
8:41
see it all the time I've seen it in my
8:42
own grandkids you know we get them dolls
8:45
for the girls and doll houses for the
8:47
girls and the boys get tools and trucks
8:50
and you know it would be really
8:51
interesting to see what happens if we
8:53
flipped that to see how do they deal
8:56
with and how do they show up and it it's
8:58
actually pretty cool because they
9:00
actually want to do both both both the
9:02
kids would would be interested in both
9:04
of those things so a a thing that you
9:07
can do is encourage play that transcends
9:09
gender offering a variety of toys and
9:12
celebrate the unique interests of each
9:14
child there's a stark difference between
9:17
women in the workforce with things like
9:19
coding and electronics and engineering
9:21
and computers and the emotional
9:24
consequence of educational stere
9:26
stereotypes is um is a generation of
9:29
unfulfilled potential when we think
9:31
about the way our society is changing we
9:34
really need a full Workforce who's good
9:36
at all sorts of things to make sure that
9:38
we are adequately prepared societally so
9:41
something that we can do is advocate for
9:43
educational programs that defy gender
9:46
Norms uh ensuring that every child can
9:48
follow their passion and their interest
9:50
and that they have the support to do so
9:52
we want to make sure that we don't limit
9:54
limit career paths and ultimately make
9:58
sure that people have an opportunity to
10:01
go in whatever Direction they want
10:03
because if there's a person in a gender
10:05
that goes into a Workforce that's
10:08
traditionally not that gender they're
10:10
Trailblazers and the emotional cost of a
10:13
career stereotype is a Workforce that's
10:15
robbed of diversity and Innovation so we
10:17
want to foster a hiring culture that
10:20
values diversity of thought and
10:22
experience regardless of gender we want
10:24
to make sure we do workplace Dynamics
10:26
and Salesforce salary audits because
10:29
that's a step towards Equity but the
10:31
emotional impact of pay disparity is a
10:33
sense of undervaluation and Injustice
10:35
and it creates resentment in the
10:37
workforce so we want a campaign for
10:39
equal pay and recognition in the
10:41
workplace it creates an environment
10:43
where everyone feels valued and equal
10:46
and recognize that's important for good
10:48
culture in a
10:49
workplace relationship roles that are
10:52
stereotyped um and domestic roles lead
10:55
to emotional strain and resentment in
10:58
relationships so so we want to engage in
11:00
open dialogue with our partners uh and
11:02
equitably share household chores and
11:05
responsibilities caretaking and Foster a
11:09
a a relationship uh based on mutual
11:11
respect and support if we're in gender
11:14
stereotypes there's limiting factors
11:16
related to emotional repercussions of
11:19
these unaddressed stereotypes and
11:20
feelings of confinement and frustration
11:23
so we want to educate ourselves and
11:25
others about harms of gender stereotypes
11:27
and promote a culture of understanding
11:29
and acceptance another Factor we need to
11:32
look at is breaking the bias one way we
11:34
can do that is through paternity leave
11:36
and have that be a policy that includes
11:39
both genders uh this policy it's a
11:41
statement that caregiving is not gender
11:44
specific the emotional benefit is a
11:46
sense of shared responsibility and
11:48
bonding and ultimately The Offspring
11:50
benefits from having both parents there
11:53
in those early years some something that
11:55
a lot of people don't know is that when
11:57
a baby is born the male's body
11:59
temperature actually increases so that
12:02
as the father is holding The Offspring
12:04
and the mother is kind of tending to the
12:06
um aftermath of of going through labor
12:09
the baby's warm enough so we are
12:10
biologically wired to really need both
12:12
parents and we don't typically approach
12:14
that historically that both parents are
12:17
equally important now in those early
12:19
years of bonding or those early months
12:21
of bonding rather uh with breastfeeding
12:24
and that biologically women are more um
12:28
kind of responsible for for the uh
12:30
emotional regulation of The Offspring
12:32
but we really need both mom and dad as
12:35
part of the parenting throughout the
12:37
lifespan so if you're in a leadership
12:40
role in a company you can Implement
12:42
inclusive family policies if you're a
12:44
parent you want to embrace social
12:46
opportunities to deepen family
12:48
connections because the social impact of
12:51
inclusive practices yields more than
12:52
just better products they Foster a sense
12:54
of belonging and community so we want to
12:57
support businesses and initiatives that
12:59
prioritize diversity and inclusion which
13:02
contributes to a society that values
13:04
every individual we want to challenge
13:06
biases and stereotypes to combat the
13:09
emotional distress they cause we want to
13:12
begin first with introspection and
13:14
extend to advocacy we want to celebrate
13:16
the empathy of boys and the leadership
13:18
of girls and encourage others to do the
13:21
same imagine a day when toys in the
13:23
store aren't labeled for boys or for
13:25
girls but just for kids and picture a
13:28
classroom where every student feels free
13:30
to excel in math or art regardless of uh
13:32
their gender think of a workplace where
13:35
job roles are filled based on passion
13:37
and skill and not gender expectations
13:39
this is a free world where we would have
13:42
so much potential Dynamic diversity and
13:45
and visibility and who knows what
13:47
potential both genders could reach if
13:50
they weren't limited by gender
13:51
stereotypes so when you think about this
13:54
remember that every action no matter how
13:56
small it is is a stride towards a world
13:59
world that values these things empathy
14:01
and fairness over outdated stereotypes
14:03
so keep pushing boundaries with every
14:06
barrier we dismantle we pave the way for
14:08
a society that celebrates individuality
14:10
and shared Humanity together we can
14:12
build a world where everyone has the
14:14
freedom to be their truest selves so
14:17
thank you so much for tuning in today I
14:20
appreciate your time I hope this is
14:22
helpful and don't forget to lead with
14:24
love it'll never steer you wrong
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[Music]
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