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Gold Creek Community Church 11-24-13
20K views
May 1, 2024
http://www.thebrooker.com Every day I have the privilege of delivering an important message about the incredible power of gratitude. Check in once a day to see and hear how this amazing belief can transform, re-focus, and re-frame your life into one of appreciation and thankfulness. You will look at your life much differently, and will feel a level of joy that escapes so many people as they cope with the trials and tribulations of everyday life filled with struggles and challenges. I promise you, this power will change your life.
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0:00
By show of hands, how many people here have suffered a significant personal loss in your life
0:06
Wow. Thank you. I'm blessed enough to be able to speak to small groups to large groups
0:13
and it always seems to be about 80 or 90% of the people in the room raise their hand
0:17
I'd like to tell you about one of the significant personal losses in my life
0:21
It was September 29, 1998. It was a Tuesday. I woke up, and I looked over to my right, and I couldn't find Dana, my wife
0:30
I didn't know where she was. And just then, Connor, my 4-year-old, comes running. Where's mom? I don't know. Let's go find her
0:36
So we walk down the hallway, and Kyle, my 14-year-old, comes in. Same question. Let's find her
0:41
We walk down. We look downstairs. We see her down in front of the washer and dryer
0:45
She's kind of all curled over. Doesn't look good. We go running down there. I turn her over, and there's stuff coming out of her mouth
0:52
and it doesn't look good. Connor starts crying. I said to Kyle, Kyle, go call the fire department
0:56
Call the medics. Call whatever. And within a matter of 5 or 10 minutes, there must have been 15 or 20 people in our house
1:02
And they had all those wires and tubes and all that elect charge thing
1:06
And again, for those that raised their hand or those that know what something like this is like
1:10
one of the things that happens is that you lose all track of time
1:15
Time loses all measure. And this little short fireperson comes over to me and says
1:20
Mr. Brooke, we've been working on your wife for an hour and a half
1:24
and we still don't have any heartbeat. Would you like us to continue
1:28
And I realized at that point I'd never before had faced making a life-and-death decision for somebody else
1:35
And I said, no, you can stop. And she was dead. She was 38 years old
1:44
And one of the things that I found through something like that, it wasn't just Dana's death
1:49
I had suffered so many losses along the way. My father earlier had killed himself
1:56
My mother had died of cancer. Friends in high school. Just this list went on and on and on
2:03
I remember thinking, how am I going to cope with this? I'm going to have to figure something out here at some point
2:09
Because within a couple of days of Dana's death, I walked upstairs and I walked out on this old deck we had
2:15
And I remember just pinching my skin and just going, I'm a little guy trying to get through life
2:20
I don't know if I can do this. And I kind of looked up at the sky and I thought
2:25
now I see why people kill themselves. I'd never have thought that before in my life
2:31
But I gave it a few more minutes of thought and I thought, I'm not doing that, though
2:35
I'm not going to do that. And once you remove something like that off the table, it's no longer something that is a choice
2:41
I've got to raise these two boys. And I'm going to move forward
2:45
What had happened with Dana is she got hooked on prescription medication
2:49
At one point she was, like, arrested. I have a picture of our wedding
2:54
And wonderful woman. But ultimately, that was what took her life. And I realized, as I started to process this over time
3:04
and as numbness wears off and you get on in your life, and this is not a nightmare, this is actually reality
3:11
It really comes down to your perspective and how you look at something. And we have a choice in our life
3:17
So I would like to ask you all just to stand up for a second, if you would be so kind
3:22
And I would like you to just take your right hand and extend it. It's always good to get a little stretch early in the morning
3:27
And start turning it in a clockwise manner. Now, we're in a digital world, so if anybody needs any help, there's a clock face
3:37
That's clockwise. Now, just start bringing it down real slowly. Keep it going clockwise
3:42
Just start bringing it down real slowly to the top of your head, your eyes, your chin, your chest, and your waist
3:50
Now, what direction is it going? Bueller? Anybody? Counterclockwise
4:00
Yes, it is. Okay, you can sit down. Thank you for participating in that
4:05
It changed my perspective. Completely changed how I looked at things. Very similarly, when I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, I had a different perspective
4:17
I needed things to help me change. I realized, too, that how this was going to affect Connor and Kyle, how they were going to be as they went through it
4:26
And I started realizing that eventually, you're going to have to hang in there
4:31
And it takes as long as it takes, is what I realized. I started to get this idea about gratitude
4:37
And then that became something even bigger, a gratitude journal, which I'll chat about in a second
4:42
But it was this, it takes as long as it takes. I am 63 years old
4:48
Now, somebody may look at, God, he doesn't look a day over 62, but I am
4:54
And there's another famous guy that was 63 when he started KFC
4:59
So each one of you has your own path. You never, ever, ever want to give up. Ever
5:07
With the help of Jesus, with the help of a gratitude journal, with the help of embracing gratitude, that attitude, you can get through anything
5:14
It can be tough, but you can get through it. But I realized Connor was really struggling
5:20
And he was in school, and I had to hold him back in first grade. It was just tough. And I'm raising these two boys by myself without Dana
5:27
And then one day the gal says, well, we need to assess Connor. He's not doing very well
5:32
She says, his mother just died six months ago. Well, yeah. But he's not doing real well
5:37
So they went and put him through all these tests and these different things. And when it was all over, he was bouncing balls and stuff like that, they had him go wait in the other room
5:45
And I talked to the lady, and she said, he's going to have a tough time in life
5:49
He's not going to do well in school, not going to do well at all. We're going to give him all these different little occupational therapy things, but he's not going to do well
5:57
So I left, and before I left, I said, you know, we live by Green Lake. And I said, he's going to be the quarterback at Roosevelt High School someday
6:04
She starts laughing. Ha, ha, ha. Yeah, no. Never forgot it. So I walked out to the car and just burst into tears
6:15
I couldn't stop crying. Dad, why are you crying? I said, Connor, it's okay
6:21
Hang in there. But Connor kept struggling. He kept struggling and struggling
6:25
And I started to think they're probably right. But I wasn't going to let that define him or me as his father or Kyle helping as much as he could his older brother
6:34
But everything just didn't work. School, it was tough. He starts playing baseball
6:39
Now, I always know there's a lot of parents in the room, when they play tee ball, okay, the ball doesn't move
6:46
It just sits right here. There's no curve. There's no, you know, fast
6:51
And Connor couldn't hit it. And he'd go like this, and I'd go, Connor, the ball's here
6:56
I know, Dad. Hang on. And then eventually he lowers it enough, and then he hits the tee, the ball dribbles forward
7:02
Dad, I got a hit. Connor, that's not quite the idea. But he kept trying
7:08
He kept trying and trying and trying. And then eventually he was about 10, 11 years old, wasn't even playing that much
7:14
He always kept trying. He'd always go out for a little league. Couldn't hit
7:18
Couldn't throw. Couldn't catch. Couldn't run. But other than that, pretty good
7:25
So we get to this game, May 31st, 2005. He was about 10, 11 years old
7:29
And it's 7-6, the other team. It's the bottom of the 7th. There's a guy in second and third
7:34
Two outs. I look, oh, boy. Guess who comes out of the dugout
7:39
Now, the other kids never pay attention to their parents. Connor looks up at me
7:43
Dad, I'm up. Walks over, swinging the bat like he's Babe Ruth or something
7:51
Ball one, ball two, ball three, ball four. Or ball three, I should say
7:55
Full count. Next pitch comes in. He just rips it down the third baseline
8:01
Goes just inside the bag. And the guy from third comes in, scores. The guy from second rounds
8:05
Here comes the ball, the guy, the catcher. They all come together and crash
8:09
The ball pops out. They win the game. Connor's standing out in second
8:15
Once again, Dad, got a hit. Connor, most kids don't acknowledge their parents in the stands
8:22
That's usually the way it works. But the entire team walked out and put him on their shoulders
8:27
and carried him off the field. I never forgot it, and I think I have a, there he is, when he was
8:33
But he went on to keep struggling and keep trying, but he never gave up
8:38
He got better and better in school. He had this, I'm not going to give up
8:42
and hopefully he got it from me, from his brother, from our belief
8:47
about you can't give up. And he kept trying, and he was student of the year at his junior high
8:53
and then he graduated Bothell High School. Oh, and by the way, on the baseball team, leadoff hitter
9:01
Tremendous hitter in his last year. Now he's in college in San Diego
9:05
But it's so important. And one of the things I taught the boys, too, and anybody that will listen is that embrace gratitude
9:13
It takes as long as it takes. I don't care how old you are. I've had this dream of being a speaker for 44 years
9:17
I don't care what it took. Every one of your paths are different. Just allow it to be that way
9:23
But you've also got to clean out your brain and make room for gratitude. You've got to get rid of the junk
9:28
When you go outside today, there's this windshield you have out there. It's about this deep, and it's about this wide
9:33
It's big. Notice how big the rearview mirror is. It's about 100 to 1, something like that
9:41
Pay attention to what's behind you. If there's blue lights, pull over
9:46
It's okay. But mostly it's what's out in front of you. We run over junk, and then we take it from behind us
9:53
put it in front of us, and run over it again. Now, in the case of me
9:59
you want to make sure you don't park too close to where Connor is because that's what happened to my windshield
10:07
Once you understand that and you make that decision, I'm going to clear out my brain
10:12
I'm going to do whatever it takes. I got a gratitude journal, and a friend of mine says to me
10:18
do you know what a gratitude journal is? And I said, no. And he said, what is it? He goes, well, it's a journal you write in every single day
10:23
for what you're grateful for. Okay. He says, you're messed up. You haven't been the same since Dana died
10:28
And he was right. So I got a gratitude journal. I started writing in it
10:33
and I started noticing amazing things happening because you're reframing everything that you have in your life
10:40
versus what you don't have. We're constantly bombarded with messages. If you only had this or that, you'll be happy, successful
10:48
whatever it may be. But we don't frame it with what we have
10:52
And one of the things that I noticed is that a life worth living is worth recording
10:57
This takes seven to eight minutes a day is all it takes
11:01
Less than eight-minute abs. And one of the things that I noticed
11:06
is that the younger generation says, this is super. Do you have an app
11:12
Well, yeah, there's an app, but it's not the same. If you think about it, it's like a dream
11:19
If you talk about it, it inspires you. But if you write it down, I am so grateful to God
11:26
I am so grateful to Gold Creek for inviting me. I am so grateful to Pastor Dan
11:31
It doesn't matter. It frames it, it focuses it, and it puts it in your heart
11:35
Everything that we think about starts with a thought in our brain, goes to our heart, our arm, our hand, our pen, to the paper
11:42
It's like a visceral connection. Same reason why we took notes in school
11:46
It's something about putting it together. I have an exercise I get to do when I ask people
11:51
what's your daily number? Ten is one of the best days of your life
11:55
One is one of the tougher days of your life. What's your daily number
11:59
You can all think about it right now. Where am I on that one to ten scale
12:03
And then I ask people, think about what you're really grateful for. What are you most grateful for
12:09
Now, again, this is too big of a group, so I won't have people shout it out, but oftentimes it's health, family, friends, faith, jobs, houses
12:19
I do these little gratitude videos all the time, and people, how do you keep coming up with a new idea? Really
12:26
There's a finite number of things to be grateful for? I did one video on my furnace because it was so cold out
12:32
I was excited the house was toasty. There's so many things to be grateful for
12:39
So what I realized after doing this is that there was one day I got up
12:43
and I was a two. My mother, who had died of cancer, I mentioned that
12:48
A lot of loss in my life. Was manic depressive. And when I was in school, she would call me and go like this
12:57
I have the sleeping pills. I'm going to take these unless you come over right now
13:03
So I would tell my teacher, or the guy I was working for
13:07
I have to go take care of my mom. She's sick. So I think I got some of that from her, that manic depressive thing
13:13
Bipolar, I believe it's called now. But you've got to figure out ways to deal with this
13:17
And so I woke up about a year and a half ago and I was a two
13:21
I wasn't doing very well. So I grabbed my journal, went to Starbucks
13:26
Takes seven, eight minutes, as I mentioned. I started writing everything I was grateful for
13:32
and I got up to about a five or a six. Then I go do a talk
13:37
It's a chamber of commerce up north, Burlington. And after it was done, this lady comes up to me and she says
13:45
you just changed my life. And it's a very powerful thing to hear that from somebody
13:50
but I also realized Janice was her name. I said, I didn't change your life
13:55
These are tools. This gratitude journal is a tool. This Bible, what our Bible tells us, it's another way to help you
14:06
I talked to a gentleman earlier today and he said, we get to worship on Sunday
14:10
What are we doing Monday through Saturday? A remindful of our blessings
14:16
So I was at the talk and she gives me a hug and I go out and I get in the car and I realize now I'm a nine
14:23
I've gone from a two to a five to six to a nine. I just had a big smile on my face and I just felt so great
14:29
and I noticed that something like this wasn't involved. This wasn't involved
14:36
All these ways we have to cope, which are so destructive. Dana's was pills as well
14:42
Vicodin and all that stuff had taken her life. So once you understand that, the power of a gratitude journal
14:48
it's an extremely healthy coping mechanism in this world of all these deadly destructive ones
14:55
One of the last pieces is getting sharing gratitude. Anything you share, your life is so much more fulfilling
15:01
when you get to share it. You ever wonder who your best friend is
15:06
Who's the first person you call when you get really good or really bad news
15:10
That's how you know. When you realize that you want to share it
15:14
I thought I need to share so many experiences in life. One example, I was going to go skydiving
15:19
So I got seven guys together and I made an appointment for skydiving out in Issaquah
15:24
And then pretty soon it was seven guys. And then we were down to six
15:29
And then about midweek, a couple of guys called, excuse me, I think I have a sore throat
15:35
I don't think I can make it on Saturday. So finally on Saturday I show up and I go
15:40
Brooke, party of eight for the skydiving? He goes, where's all your friends
15:46
I went, I don't have any. It's just me. And I went by myself
15:52
But it wasn't the same. You don't get to share it. And that's what's so critical about that
15:57
I would ask you today to share something. I don't get very good cell service in here
16:02
We don't, I should say. I call this the four T's. Sometime today I would like you to text, tweet, telephone
16:09
or tell somebody in your life how grateful you are for them
16:14
Let them know. I hear this all the time. We don't tell the people around us enough
16:18
how grateful we are for them. So please do that. I would also ask you to think about your life's legacy
16:27
your destiny, and especially too, what are you doing with the gifts that God has given you
16:36
And just think about it privately. I feel I've been called to this message of telling people how
16:43
You can come back. I always point to my shoes and I go, I'm not teaching out of some book
16:47
I walk down this path. We cannot walk in each other's shoes
16:51
but we can walk in parallel paths. And when you can bounce back from that
16:56
and with the help of the Lord, and the help of a gratitude journal, and the help of support around you
17:01
anything is possible. And I think about how unbelievably grateful I am
17:06
for the opportunities that I've had, even though there's been a lot of tragedy. I even have a gratitude rock etched in granite
17:13
And that's how I feel about gratitude. It's how I feel about God. It's how I feel about Jesus Christ
17:18
Be grateful for your health. Be grateful for your family and friends
17:23
But most of all, be grateful to God. Without God, we'd have nothing to be grateful for
17:30
So I'd like to ask Pastor Dan to head back out here
17:34
to close us up for today. So much of this is the belief in the community
17:41
And I've known Pastor Dan for a number of years. And the help that we want to give people
17:46
and the help that people can give each other, and having something like gratitude
17:50
that belief in God and in Jesus, can make such a difference
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