0:00
ever feel like sometimes uh you're just
0:02
fumbling through conversations you know
0:04
especially with people you'd really like
0:05
to connect with oh yeah well today we're
0:08
diving deep into some like really proven
0:10
tactics to help you totally nail those
0:13
interactions make a fantastic first
0:16
impression right and genuinely connect
0:18
with just about anyone yeah we'll be
0:20
looking at some key takeaways from a
0:22
popular book cool how to talk to anyone
0:24
by Leo louns it's full of practical tips
0:27
and some really surprising insights I
0:29
think totally change how you approach
0:32
conversations this deep dive is perfect
0:34
for anyone who wants to feel more
0:35
confident and engaging whether you're at
0:37
a networking event or on a first date or
0:39
even just chatting with someone new at
0:41
the coffee shop what if simply holding
0:43
someone's gaze a little longer could
0:45
spark a connection that's actually
0:47
backed by science louns talks about a
0:50
study in Boston where strangers who
0:52
maintained prolonged eye contact oh wow
0:54
actually began to develop feelings of
0:57
respect and even attraction interest it
1:00
might sound crazy but deep eye contact
1:03
yeah triggers a release of
1:04
neuropen a neurotransmitter tied to
1:07
excitement and yes even attraction so
1:11
it's not just a pickup artist trick then
1:13
no it makes sense though when someone
1:15
really looks at you it makes you feel
1:16
seen and acknowledged right and isn't
1:19
that a basic human need we all have to
1:22
be recognized and to feel important
1:25
absolutely oh loun even shares a story
1:28
about how a woman's gaze across a
1:30
seminar room totally captivated her oh
1:33
wow and it led to a coffee date she
1:35
calls this technique sticky eyes which
1:38
basically means holding eye contact for
1:40
a couple of extra seconds after someone
1:42
finishes speaking sticky eyes huh I get
1:45
the idea behind it but maybe engaged
1:47
gaze would sound a little less well
1:49
intense uh point taken but it's about
1:51
that feeling of truly being present and
1:53
attentive though right those extra
1:56
seconds can make the other person feel
1:58
heard and appreciated mhm which lays the
2:00
foundation for a much more positive
2:02
interaction yeah louns even tells a
2:04
story about a Salesman named Samy Sammy
2:06
saw his sales double just by employing
2:08
this technique think about it if
2:10
someone's trying to sell you something
2:12
wouldn't you be more likely to buy from
2:16
the person who made you feel seen and
2:18
valued absolutely it goes beyond sales
2:20
though this applies to any interaction
2:23
where you want to establish Rapport
2:25
build trust right or simply make someone
2:28
feel comfortable it's like you're saying
2:30
I'm here I'm listening and what you have
2:32
to say matters to me so we've nailed the
2:35
importance of eye contact right but what
2:37
about the actual words we use how do we
2:39
keep people engaged and wanting more
2:41
well loun suggests that we should think
2:43
less about what we want to say and more
2:46
about what we can learn about the other
2:47
person so make them the star of the show
2:49
exactly it's about making them the star
2:51
of the show oh okay focusing on their
2:53
interests and passions instead of
2:56
defaulting to one-word answers right try
2:59
offering a little glimpse into your
3:00
world something that might spark their
3:02
curiosity and invite further
3:03
conversation okay I like that you know
3:06
go beyond just saying Chicago when
3:08
someone asks where you're from yeah yeah
3:11
what's a specific memory or interesting
3:13
fact about your hometown that you could
3:15
share instead okay that's a great Point
3:17
loun even talks about tailoring her
3:20
responses based on the audience but how
3:23
do you actually do that effectively it's
3:25
all about reading the room and being
3:28
aware of the social context
3:30
if you're at a political
3:32
event you could drop in a thoughtful
3:34
observation about current events at an
3:37
art gallery MH maybe mention your
3:39
favorite artist oh I see or something
3:41
that struck you about a particular piece
3:43
so it shows you're present and engaged
3:46
and not just running through a script in
3:47
your head yeah it also makes me realize
3:49
how important it is to do your research
3:51
beforehand right you know think about
3:52
who you'll be interacting with what
3:54
their interests might be and what's
3:56
going on in the world that might be
3:57
relevant to the conversation exactly a
4:00
little preparation can go a long way in
4:02
making you a more engaging and informed
4:05
conversationalist which in turn helps
4:07
build that sense of connection okay now
4:10
are you ready for a technique yes that
4:12
might sound a little strange at first
4:14
bring it on our listeners are ready to
4:17
level up their conversation game let's
4:19
hear it lounce calls it
4:21
parting and when it's done right it can
4:25
be amazingly effective it involves
4:26
repeating the last few words of what
4:29
someone says okay but not in a way that
4:32
feels like you're mocking them I can see
4:34
how that could go very wrong if you're
4:36
not careful definitely it's all about
4:39
subtlety the idea is to encourage the
4:42
other person to elaborate and to delve
4:44
deeper into what they're saying think of
4:46
it like you're gently prompting them to
4:48
share more so like you're saying tell me
4:50
more I'm genuinely interested in what
4:52
you have to say and we all want to feel
4:54
heard and understood exactly and there's
4:57
actually a psychological reason why this
4:58
works so well oh cool mirroring
5:00
someone's language creates a
5:02
subconscious Rapport mhm making them
5:04
feel more connected to you right and
5:06
more open to sharing loun even gives an
5:08
example of a car salesman who sold a
5:10
Lamborghini using this technique hold on
5:13
he sold a Lamborghini by just repeating
5:15
what the customer said how did that even
5:17
happen so the customer initially
5:19
hesitated saying the car was out of his
5:22
budget okay but instead of pushing a
5:26
cheaper model right the salesman simply
5:28
repeated M out of your budget wow that
5:32
simple repetition prompted the customer
5:35
to open up about his aspirations oh okay
5:38
his desire for a luxury car that is
5:41
fascinating just by making the customer
5:43
feel heard the salesman created an
5:45
opportunity to connect on a deeper level
5:47
which ultimately led to the sale so
5:49
maybe paring is the secret to getting
5:51
that dream car after all well it
5:53
definitely highlights the power of
5:55
making people feel heard and understood
5:57
yeah and that can lead to all sorts of
5:58
unexpected outcomes but remember it's
6:00
all about being genuine and respectful
6:02
in your approach Okay so we've talked
6:04
about eye contact focusing on the other
6:06
person and this paring technique but
6:08
what about our body language I mean our
6:10
words are only part of the equation
6:12
right absolutely our non-verbal cues
6:15
things like posture hand gestures Even
6:18
Silence can speak volumes yeah louns
6:22
stresses The Importance of Being mindful
6:24
of these signals both the ones we're
6:26
sending and the ones we're receiving
6:28
it's about ensuring that our body
6:29
language aligns with our message okay we
6:32
don't want to be saying one thing while
6:35
our posture screams something completely
6:37
different right like if you're telling
6:38
someone you're excited about their
6:40
project but you're slouched over and
6:42
avoiding eye contact they're not going
6:43
to believe you exactly it's about
6:45
congruence yeah and it also works the
6:47
other way around okay paying attention
6:49
to the other person's non-verbal cues
6:52
okay can give you valuable insights
6:54
right into how they're feeling and help
6:56
you adjust your approach accordingly MH
6:58
are they leaning in eager to hear more
7:01
or subtly pulling away feeling
7:03
uncomfortable oh interesting these
7:05
subtle signs can make a huge difference
7:07
in how the conversation flows Lans
7:09
offers a lot of great tips on improving
7:11
non-verbal communication and one that
7:13
stuck with me is about avoiding empty
7:15
thanku instead of just saying thank you
7:17
complete the thought thank you for
7:19
asking thank you for your help and so on
7:21
it feels so much more sincere right it
7:24
really does it adds a layer of intention
7:26
and appreciation that makes people feel
7:29
genuinely valued you're not just going
7:30
through the motions right you're truly
7:33
present and engaged in the
7:35
interaction this is all so eye opening
7:38
yeah so we've covered eye contact
7:40
focusing on the other person parroting
7:45
Brilliance Where Do We Go From Here on
7:48
our journey to becoming Master
7:50
connectors well one of those powerful
7:52
ways to connect with people is by making
7:53
them feel special and Lou suggests that
7:55
expanding your horizons is a great way
7:57
to do this you know if you're always
7:58
trying new things learning different
8:00
cultur stepping outside of your comfort
8:02
zone doesn't that make you a more
8:03
interesting person to talk to it makes
8:05
so much sense you're adding new chapters
8:07
to your story and those stories become
8:10
conversation starters exactly it's about
8:12
being curious about the world around you
8:15
yeah that Curiosity translates into how
8:17
you interact with others you become more
8:19
engaging and relatable right and then
8:21
there's the simple power of making
8:23
people feel appreciated yeah a warm
8:25
smile a genuine compliment a shared joke
8:28
mhm those small gestures can really
8:31
Forge lasting connections speaking of
8:33
compliments yes louns has some really
8:36
interesting insights on how to give
8:39
compliments that truly resonate right
8:41
compliments that make people feel seen
8:42
and appreciated how do we avoid those
8:45
generic compliments that just feel empty
8:48
and insincere it's about being specific
8:51
and showing that you've been paying
8:53
attention instead of just saying you
8:55
look nice try something like that color
8:57
really complement your eyes oh okay it's
9:00
is a warm and inviting smile you're
9:02
going Beyond The Superficial and
9:04
noticing something unique and genuine
9:05
about the other person and it's not just
9:07
about the words themselves either right
9:09
it's about your tone of voice your eye
9:11
contact those nonverbal cues that
9:14
amplify the impact of your words it's
9:17
exactly you want to convey genuine
9:20
appreciation think about the last time
9:22
you received a compliment that truly
9:24
made your day what made it so special
9:26
mhm it's likely that the person who gave
9:28
you the compliment was fully present
9:31
yeah and their sincerity shown through
9:33
so we've mastered the art of compliments
9:36
what about asking for favors I always
9:38
feel so awkward doing that LW offers
9:41
some really helpful advice on this too
9:43
okay she suggests framing the favor as
9:47
something that benefits both parties oh
9:49
you know it's not about taking advantage
9:51
of someone's generosity but about
9:53
creating a win-win situation okay let's
9:55
say you need help moving instead of just
9:58
asking a friend to H boxes you could say
10:00
something like hey I'm moving next
10:02
weekend and I'd love your help I'm
10:03
ordering pizza and beer afterward and it
10:05
would be great to catch up so you're not
10:07
just asking for help you're offering
10:09
something in return Good Food Company a
10:12
chance to connect exactly it's about
10:14
acknowledging the value of their time
10:16
and effort and just as important be
10:19
really clear and specific about what you
10:21
need people are much more likely to help
10:24
if they understand exactly what you're
10:25
asking of them don't be vague or beat
10:28
around the brsh and don't be afraid to
10:30
follow up sometimes things slip people's
10:32
minds so a gentle reminder can go a long
10:34
way those are really helpful tips what
10:36
about delivering bad news those
10:38
conversations can be so tough does louns
10:40
offer any advice on how to handle those
10:42
situations with Grace and empathy she
10:44
does first and foremost choose the right
10:46
time and place don't Ambush someone with
10:49
bad news in public or when they're
10:51
already stressed yeah of course find a
10:54
private quiet space where you can have a
10:56
calm and focused conversation
10:59
and be direct but compassionate don't
11:02
sugarcoat or try to downplay the
11:05
situation people appreciate honesty even
11:07
when it's difficult to hear so find that
11:09
balance between being truthful and being
11:12
sensitive right and your nonverbal
11:14
communication is really crucial here
11:16
your tone of voice your facial
11:18
expressions your body language all of
11:20
these convey empathy and support it's
11:22
like you're saying I'm here for you even
11:24
in the midst of this be prepared to
11:27
listen too the other person might need
11:29
to vent process their emotions right or
11:32
ask questions give them the space to do
11:35
so without interrupting or offering
11:37
unsolicited advice sometimes just being
11:40
a sounding board is the most helpful
11:41
thing you can do absolutely it's about
11:43
providing a safe space for someone to
11:45
work through their feelings and remember
11:48
even in challenging conversations yeah
11:50
it's essential to maintain respect mhm
11:53
avoid blaming shaming or making personal
11:56
attacks focus on the facts and on
11:59
finding a constructive way forward all
12:02
of this great advice applies to
12:04
in-person conversations right but what
12:06
about those tricky phone conversations
12:08
oh yeah we've all had those awkward
12:09
moments where the conversation kind of
12:11
drags or you get interrupted or you just
12:13
struggle to stay focused when you're not
12:15
face to face yeah phone conversations
12:17
definitely have their own unique set of
12:19
challenges right LS offers some really
12:21
clever strategies for navigating those
12:24
for example she suggests using the
12:26
person's name at the beginning of the
12:27
call to capture their attention okay but
12:30
then avoiding overuse of their name
12:33
throughout the conversation because it
12:34
can become distracting oh that's a great
12:36
tip I've definitely been on calls where
12:38
the person keeps repeating my name and
12:40
it starts to feel really unnatural yeah
12:42
it's all about finding that sweet spot
12:44
right acknowledge their presence and
12:46
then let the conversation flow more
12:47
naturally okay and here's another
12:49
essential tip I always ask is this a
12:52
good time to talk before launching into
12:55
a lengthy conversation you'd be
12:57
surprised how many people skipped that
12:58
step we know it's such a simple courtesy
13:00
yeah but it shows respect for the other
13:03
person's time and ensures that they're
13:05
actually available and engaged right and
13:07
if you do happen to reach their
13:08
voicemail keep your message concise
13:11
state your name your number and the
13:14
reason for your call don't ramble or
13:16
leave a long drawn out message right
13:19
respect their time and make it easy for
13:20
them to call you back yeah great advice
13:23
yeah we've talked a lot about verbal
13:24
communication but let's Circle back to
13:26
body language for a moment we touched on
13:27
it earlier right but Lis really
13:30
emphasizes its importance throughout the
13:32
book it's such a crucial part of
13:34
communication right she encourages us to
13:36
be mindful of our posture our hand
13:40
gestures our overall demeanor you know
13:42
if you're slouched over yeah with your
13:45
arms crossed you're likely to be
13:48
perceived as closed off or disinterested
13:51
right even if you're genuinely
13:52
interested in what the other person has
13:54
to say our body language can completely
13:56
contradict our words exactly so it's all
13:58
about about projecting confidence and
14:01
approachability Standing Tall making eye
14:03
contact right using open hand gestures
14:07
these all convey a sense of warmth and
14:09
openness it's like you're inviting the
14:12
other person into your space making them
14:14
feel comfortable and welcome we've
14:16
covered a lot of ground here we've
14:17
explored everything from the power of
14:19
eye contact and paring to giving killer
14:22
compliments and navigating difficult
14:24
conversations but before we move on is
14:26
there anything else that stands out to
14:29
how to talk to anyone anything you found
14:31
particularly insightful or surprising
14:34
you know one thing that really stuck
14:35
with me is Lou's emphasis on the power
14:38
of listening sounds so simple right but
14:42
truly listening with the intent to
14:44
understand yeah rather than just waiting
14:47
for your turn to speak mhm is a skill
14:49
that takes practice and intention it's
14:52
so true we often get so caught up in
14:54
what we're going to say that we miss out
14:55
on truly hearing what the other person's
14:57
communicating exactly when we're fully
15:00
and attentive it not only makes the
15:02
other person feel valued but also allows
15:05
us to learn and grow from their
15:08
experiences and perspectives think about
15:10
it every conversation is an opportunity
15:13
to expand our understanding of the world
15:15
and to connect with another human being
15:18
on a deeper level that's a beautiful way
15:20
to put it and it reminds me of another
15:22
important Point Lance makes The
15:23
Importance of Being authentic we don't
15:26
have to pretend to be someone we're not
15:27
to have meaningful conversations in fact
15:29
when we try to force it it often comes
15:31
across us insincere and inauthentic I
15:34
completely agree people can sense when
15:36
you're being genuine and that
15:38
authenticity is what creates real
15:41
connections like you're giving each
15:42
other permission to be yourselves yeah
15:45
flaws and all and that vulnerability can
15:47
be incredibly powerful so as we wrap up
15:50
this deep dive yeah I think the key
15:52
takeaway is this mastering the art of
15:55
conversation is less about memorizing
15:59
and more about culating a mindset of
16:03
curiosity empathy and genuine interest
16:06
in the people we interact with you know
16:09
it's interesting to think about how
16:10
often we go through conversations on
16:11
autopilot we're so caught up in our own
16:14
thoughts and worries that we miss out on
16:16
the opportunity to truly connect with
16:19
the people around us it's like we're
16:20
physically present right but mentally
16:22
checked out and that's a shame because
16:24
every conversation has the potential to
16:26
be something special something
16:27
meaningful L's book really challenges us
16:30
to be more intentional in our
16:32
conversations to approach them with a
16:35
sense of purpose and presence and when
16:37
we do that when we truly show up and
16:40
engage with the people we're talking to
16:42
yeah amazing things can happen
16:43
absolutely we can forge deeper
16:46
connections learn from different
16:47
perspectives and even create positive
16:49
change in the world around us think
16:51
about it what if everyone approach
16:54
conversations with the level of
16:55
intention and skill that we've been
16:57
discussing today yeah what kind of
17:00
impact could that have on our
17:01
relationships our communities even our
17:04
society as a whole that's a powerful
17:05
thought it makes me realize that
17:07
mastering the art of conversation isn't
17:09
just about improving our social skills
17:12
it's about tapping into our human
17:14
potential for connection and
17:16
understanding it's about creating a
17:18
world where people feel seen heard and
17:22
valued exactly and it starts with each
17:24
of us making a conscious effort to be
17:26
more present more engaged and more
17:28
intentional in our conversations so as
17:31
we wrap up our deep dive into how to
17:34
talk to anyone I want to leave you with
17:36
a challenge think about one technique
17:38
we've discussed today that really
17:40
resonated with you it could be sticky
17:42
eyes right paring giving specific
17:45
compliments or maybe just the idea of
17:47
being a more active listener pick one
17:49
thing yeah and commit to trying it out
17:51
in your next conversation observe what
17:54
happens notice how people respond you
17:56
might be surprised by the subtle shifts
17:58
and energy energy the deeper connections
18:00
you forge and the unexpected doors that
18:02
open remember this is a journey not a
18:05
destination there's always more to learn
18:07
more to explore and more ways to connect
18:09
with the amazing people around us so
18:12
keep practicing keep experimenting and
18:14
keep those conversations flowing because
18:16
in a world that's increasingly
18:17
disconnected the ability to connect to
18:19
communicate to truly see and hear each
18:21
other is more valuable than ever and who
18:24
knows maybe you'll even sell a
18:25
Lamborghini along the way well on that
18:27
note we'll sign off for today until next
18:30
time keep diving deep and keep those
18:31
conversations strong