How Byron Katie accidentally discovered joy in the darkest of times

So, the work is a way to identify and question the thoughts that cause all the suffering

in the world, all the suffering in your life. I spent three years when the work found me just alone in the desert to just get away

from everyone and just be in this hunger to understand

there is this small little grocery store and I walk in and near the produce over by the apples

it was this woman. She had these two large shopping bags, one in each hand, and then I lost

all reference, which happened quite frequently for a while. I said, would you hold me please

And she put these bags down immediately. And she wrapped her arms around me

And she started rocking me and sang me a lullaby. And that's a friendly universe

And that's how I experience every human being, every cat, dog, and tree

It's who we are without our story. I think people would describe me as ordinary, and there's nothing about me that would stand out

So I had a very usual life, high school, couple of years of college, married, then three children

and then divorced and then married and then a depression hit It was so deep so dark so nonstop

I spent years, more than a decade, of an agoraphobic experience, terrified of leaving my home

Often I couldn't leave my bedroom. Life was so painful. For my children, I was so full of guilt and shame that they would see me that way

It was a horror. It was a prison with no way out

Then one day, my husband brought me to this halfway house recommended by this doctor

I was introduced to three women, and they said I frightened them to the point that they didn't want me in the house

but they said there is an attic and it would be better if I stayed there

and I was just a yes to everything. I was in the surrendered state

My self-esteem was so low I didn't believe I even deserved a bed to sleep in

One day as I lay sleeping on the floor a cockroach ran over my foot

and I opened my eyes and before the ego could intervene in that space

I saw how my entire world was created. Ego naming things I was seeing

Light, window, ceiling, walls. Naming the unnameable Prior to that there was no identification There was no I There was no world

I was seeing this body as it. It stood up. It walked

And just out the door, it faced a mirror and looked into the depth of those eyes

and it was as though I met myself. Love happened. I saw that when I believed my thoughts, I suffered

And when I didn't believe them, I didn't suffer. My husband and children came to get me

and the shift they experienced in me, it was unrecognizable. I didn't know I had my family until I was being identified

I'm a woman. I have a husband. I have three children. I have a home

I'd start to walk out the door, this agoraphobic, and my husband would say something like

Where do you think you're going, Kate? And I would just think that is one of the most amazing questions I've ever heard

Where the hell do I think I'm going? The excitement of the don't know, I have no idea

In the desert, the wind can blow hard for several days. And I loved it

The adventure of meeting the world It was just falling in love with everyone and everything People would say you know there this crazy woman that talks about making friends with the wind

But other people would call and say, can you help me? And obviously their minds were open

I'd say yes. I would just listen to them talk. And they would tell me their problems

Like, my husband left me, or there's something wrong with me, or I'll never find work

I've got cancer. I'm dying. I ask four questions

The first one is, is it true? and then the next question is

can you absolutely know it's true and then how do you react

when you believe the thought and then that fourth question who are you without the thought

suffering I've come to see is it's optional But to anyone that has the courage to answer the questions, life is a gift

And anyone can do this work if their mind's open to it