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Why men come back weeks or months after a breakup? Why do they text or appear in your life after a period of no contact? Here are 10 possible reasons why your ex is coming back to you even if you have moved on.
Get expert help figuring out what you really want and what you should do about a man from your past reappearing like this. Chat online to a relationship expert from Relationship Hero who can help you figure things out.
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0:00
So I next just dropped you a message
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It can be so confusing when guys come back out of the blue long after you ended things
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Let's try to decode their behaviour and figure out what's going on. Hi guys, I'm Jessica from a contrary to rethink
0:13
And today I'm going to help you with those 10 possible reasons for this kind of behaviour. He misses you
0:35
We all get nostalgic from time to time. Maybe he saw something that reminded him of you
0:40
Maybe he was reflecting on things recently. Either way, he generally misses you and what you had together
0:46
He might miss being in a relationship, or he might miss who he was when he was with you
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If you think that trying again could work out, go for it, listen to your gut
0:56
Make sure you've both had enough time to ensure you really, really want to get back together
1:00
Check that you've worked on whatever it was that was holding you back last time. Equally, you're allowed to miss someone but not want the relationship back
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Regardless of how much you miss each other, sometimes we just move on
1:12
And it's okay to tell him that. And everyone we love is right for us. You need to put yourself first
1:18
He feels guilty for how he treated you. If your ex has come back months later, he might not be trying to get you back
1:25
He might just want closure to apologise and take responsibility for his behaviour
1:30
Having some time apart, May had given him the space he needed to reflect on his reactions
1:34
to really think about what part he played in the relationship and the subsequent breakup
1:39
He might feel awful for how he treated you or how or why things ended
1:43
He wants to make amends. It's up to you to decide how this goes
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If he wants to talk things out but you're not comfortable with that yet, ask him to respect your wishes and give you more time
1:54
This is your choice. His plans to play the field didn't work out
2:00
Your ex might have ended the relationship because he wanted to be single for a while
2:04
This happens more often than you think and it can be for a number of reasons and it just as likely that you never know If he wanted to play the field he probably wanted to hook up with loads of girls and make the most of being single
2:16
Yep, it's painful to think about, but it's likely to be the reality of the situation
2:21
The reason he comes crawling back is because he's realised that being single and sleeping around isn't really all that
2:26
at least after a while. It can be fun, sure, but it's also very different
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being in a committed relationship with someone you actually care about. He might have realised that being single
2:36
single isn't as fun as he thought it was going to be. He might now want a relationship again
2:40
with you. When it comes to you, think about whether or not you want to take him back. If that's
2:47
even an option, are you okay knowing that he slept around and do you think you can actually
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make it work this time? The choice is yours, but tread carefully. He wants what he can't have
2:58
You did a classic power breakup move. You got over him. You focused on yourself and you've been for
3:03
an emotional and physical glow up. Maybe you're in the best shape of your life or you've finally
3:08
had the courage to apply for that dream job. Whatever it is, he's noticed. He can see that you're
3:13
enjoying being independent, that you're happy even without him. Firstly, his ego might be a bit
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damaged from this. He's wondering how you've managed to survive without him. That probably
3:23
doesn't feel great. He might want to prove that it's nothing to do with him by getting back
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together with you. If you could keep smashing your goals whilst you're with him again
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he can't have been the problem before right? Secondly, there is nothing more attractive than an ex who has moved on and doesn't want you anymore
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It's unhealthy, sure, but it's true. Now that he can't have you and you're doing so well, he wants you back
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Knowing that he can't have you will be driving him crazy. He will fuel his desire of you even more
3:51
If you're at this level of moving on, you might not want anything to do with him. You've focused on getting yourself this far, so why risk getting back together and losing all of the progress you made
4:01
but this is something that only you can answer. His other option didn't work out
4:08
Let's say your relationship ended because you found out he was cheating on you. You went your separate ways
4:13
He went off of the mistress, you moved on to. And now he shows up again months later It doesn take a genius to figure out that things didn work out as it had planned If he roundly popped back into your life and is full of compliments it very likely that things went south with the girls he was cheating me with
4:29
He wants you back because his options didn't plan out like he'd hoped it would
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Again, you need to work out if you are happy being an option instead of a priority
4:37
He already chose to be with someone else over you. Are you comfortable getting back together, knowing that he abandoned you for someone else
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he's had a bad relationship and realised what he lost this one is similar to the point I've already made
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though it's slightly different he might not have left use for someone else specifically
4:55
but he ended up in another relationship pretty soon after he broke up
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he might have realised how good he did have it with you maybe his relationship did not work out as he imagined
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now that he's got something else to use as comparison he realised just how lucky he did have it with you
5:10
sometime apart can often provide much needed perspective and clarity. He might be getting in touch now to let you know how much he values you, how sorry
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he is that he didn't realise that before. That might work out for you and you might really appreciate
5:24
hearing those things. However, he will need to consistently show you that he is appreciated of you
5:29
and lives by those values if this relationship is to work. He cannot go back to the easy life and take you
5:35
for granted again. His friends or family told him to. We've all been there. A relationship ends for
5:42
whatever reason. And after a few months of wallowing, your loved one makes a comment about how you
5:47
should try again. Maybe they're fed up with you looking miserable or they generally believe that you
5:51
should give it another shot. Either way, this might be what happens when an ex comes back months later
5:57
He might have been told by a few friends that you were the best thing that ever happened to him
6:01
Maybe his family has said you should actually try to settle down with you. This is definitely
6:05
something to consider if your ex Ramby pops up after months of no contact. It's left you
6:10
really got along with his friends and family in the past. He just wants to hook up
6:17
Sometimes we have to accept that our ex pops up simply because they want to have sex
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We don't need to go into huge amount of detail here. We've all experienced this at some point
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If he messaged you for the first time in a few months and it 2 in the morning or he drunk or the messages are suggestively 30 there a pretty strong chance that he just wants to sleep with you again If you okay with sleeping with him again go for it
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If you're unsure, it's probably going to be a no. Know your worth, and don't settle for sex with an ex
6:44
when you could choose a date of a guy who is actually interested in you. He's confused about the breakup
6:51
If your breakup was quite sudden or messy, there is a chance that you both needed some time to really process it
6:56
It's very possible that during this time he's realised that he never really got closure on why the relationship ended
7:03
He might be coming back months later because he needs some clarity. He might just want to talk to you about what happened and why
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so that he can actually put it all to bed and move on. This is a very mature approach
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It's a healthy way of processing provided you are comfortable with this kind of conversation
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He's not sure what he wants. Your ex might have gotten in contact with you after months of being broken up
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because he's not sure how he feels. He doesn't necessarily want to get back together
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but he doesn't like that you're not together either. If he's feeling confused about what happened between the two of you
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and he doesn't know what outcome he wants, he might just be taking a chance and gauging the vibe to see how you react
7:41
If you're excited to hear from him, he's got another chance. Equally, if you shut him down and make it clear
7:46
that you're never getting back together, it will help him accept that. Either way, this will help him figure out what he wants
7:53
Still not sure what your ex has come back or what to do about it? If you still need extra help
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get in touch with comments or check out our recommended relationship advisor. The links are in the description below
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And that's all for today. I hope you've enjoyed yourself and found the contents of today's episode
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