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I gave birth to my son and transitioned 10 years later
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My mom became my dad. People being disrespectful and calm is, you know, oh, you're still a girl
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Your son is going to have a wild life. I just told him, just be yourself
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Do you think your transition has had any negative effects on me? So when did you two start working out together
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Oh, man. When did we start working out together? Last year. My name is Ajay and I'm a trans dad
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I have a son. His name is Vari and he's 17 years old. How would you describe your dad
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Cool, energetic, caring, loving. I would describe our relationship as amazing as it should be, man
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Vari's a straight A student. He's a loving friend. He always makes me emotional on this because that's how I look at my child at 17 years old
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He's an exceptional young man, and I'm proud of myself to be able to tell myself that
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Well done. When I was younger, I called him my mom. I started calling him my dad when I was, like, probably in middle school
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He's always there for me whenever I need something. When he went through his process, I was 11 years old
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How did your dad first broach the topic of transitioning with you
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He asked me how I'd feel about it, and I said, if you want to be my dad, you can be my dad because you already dress like a boy anyways
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And don't let anyone bring you down. Just do what you want to do
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We went through counseling for five and a half years, you know, and I think it's very important for a lot of trans people in general to put their children in counseling
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To get them more understanding of what they're getting themselves into, because not everybody is going to accept you right away
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It was best for him to give me the opportunity to have a choice, or him have a choice, and together we both made one
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And his choice was first, and then I accepted it. What was your relationship with gender like growing up As a female it was kind of tough I was a tomboy I just wanted to be who I am today
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I started transitioning at the age of 28. The best thing about transitioning to me is
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you're looking in the mirror finally seeing your authentic self. What difference has him transitioning had on your relationship
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Man, I wouldn't really say it was a difference. I think he's just the same person. Just different
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voice and face looks. Do you think your transition has had any negative effects on her
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I don't think that my transition has had any negative effects on him
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You know, I think it actually brought us together stronger. He definitely sees more of the opportunity of the mother and father relationship
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You know, he had an experience of both sides. My friend Lakia is coming over
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I always describe her as this happy, wild queen. Hey, what? Yeah
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You remember when I first came up to you? When was that work? When was that work
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Yeah. When was that work? And you was asking all the questions
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Oh, yeah. You fine. Okay, friends. We've been friends for a minute
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How would you describe AJ as a father? A good father. Structure
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very humbled. What do you think when you see Jay and Vari together
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They got a good bond. They do. You don't see too many people like that
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from him being a woman and turning into a man. Kids don't understand what's going on
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and he's gonna love AJ no matter what. She plays the role in
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LJ, Vari's life as just one of the spoiled aunties. You know, she just spoils him, man
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Have you ever seen any of the online judgment or anything that they get
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I just feel like people don't know people's situations to be judging or trying to
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comment on something that they don't know about. You don't know what people went through
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to be like this. Keezy Keezy supported me in ways that a lot of people don get the opportunity to have a hype man
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She's like my biggest cheerleader when it comes to the girls side
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I love the way that you never judge me the minute you knew I was transgender
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You feel me? You was all... My friend, fine, you can't tell me this. What
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I started sharing my journey online. It started out with TikTok. I posted a video and it had 400,000 views on it
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The responses that I have to share, you know, with people being disrespectful in comments is, you know, oh, you're still a girl
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Oh, you bleed. Oh, you'll never be a man. You'll never be manly enough
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Your son is going to have a wild life. Huh? didn't know women could be fathers well the thing about this comment is women are fathers
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and the reason why women are fathers is because at the end of the day if a woman has a child and
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the father walks away she has to become both parents his father is a woman that's not a man
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folks the perfect words because i am his father and i was a woman you see what i'm saying and at
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the end of the day if I'm not a man what made you say father first? Poor child
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imagine your mother is now a dude nobody thinks about the kids selfish. I thought
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about my child's mindset not only his mindset but I thought about his feelings
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and I thought about his heart. We actually go viral every time we turn
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around so you know I think a lot of people are starting to see that it doesn't matter about being transgender it's about being a good parent at the
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same time. What I've learned, you know, from me and Vary is, you know, just being able to just keep
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our heads up high, you know what I'm saying? Never allow people negative comments or mindsets to control you know our household or who we are Because at the end of the day we human beings no matter what it is Have you experienced any judgment in person as a parent
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I have not, ever. In May, it would be seven years of transitioning
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I've never, ever been judged, misidentified anything out of all six years that I've been transitioning
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There used to be times where there'd be negative comments, And I tell my dad just not worry about him because it's not worth it
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What you want to do today? The usual? The high taper? The crispy
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Taper into the beard? We've been meeting. We've known each other for five years
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How did AJ tell you about his experience? Like his whole story
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How did that come up? It's kind of something I understood. So I kind of just never pressed the issue
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I just let him tell me whenever. I appreciate you supporting me
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You know what I'm saying? Who I am. You came a brother to me, boy. He's a liar
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He's a liar. It's more than just cutting hair. Yeah. So, LJ, what kind of cut did you ask for today
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I mean, I don't even know. I just looked it up on a pendulum. Low taper
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Low taper. I'm a huge good kid, man. He got a good head on his shoulder
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We both hope that the future holds both for both of us as a family, that we continue to keep growing, keep being amazing people
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Whatever you do, don't let people judge you. Don't hide from what you want to do
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And just be yourself. To the trans parents, just continue to keep being the best parents that you possibly could be
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Grow with them. Don't grow against them. We hope that our story touched y'all
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We hope that y'all gained something from it. You know, we're just trying to be the voice for others that don't go around
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Real talk, man. Just be you. It gets no better
