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Unsealed Conversations - Sammie and Michael
May 13, 2025
Michael is on the autism spectrum. His friendship with Sammie, helped him build confidence in his early years. To this day, their friendship brings them both great joy.
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0:06
we have three very special guests michael sammy and michael's mom melissa and we did a letter with michael when
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did we do the letter probably almost a year ago right yeah i honestly forgot but like i know
0:19
we did it i know we did we do well yeah we definitely did it and michael wanted to write his letter to sammy and michael
0:26
has aspergers and michael and sammy have been friends since
0:31
first grade technic but you'll you remember meeting her in second grade
0:37
yeah i think like we met in first grade but then like we actually started talking in second grade yeah that
0:43
probably was most accurate yeah michael when did you realize hey i'm a
0:48
little different than other kids um i guess what i felt like i feel like it was just
0:55
more based on crap crowding and like conversations like everybody kind of has their own
1:01
group especially like early on in like elementary school and middle school it's like i just felt like i didn't feel
1:06
like i fit in anywhere like it just felt like i was kind of lost like i was always trying to go into groups and
1:13
stuff like that but just nothing seemed to work that's kind of just how it felt it was pretty hard for me
1:19
did you ever have a conversation with your mom like hey mom i feel a little different than everyone else um
1:25
yeah i think i did i think so it's a little harder to remember since it was a while ago but like i'm sure i've had
1:32
conversations before why i was so lonely all the time and like why i just ended
1:37
up struggling listen do you remember him coming up to you as a child and saying hey mom i'm
1:43
lonely in school i don't have as many friends or i don't fit in yeah he went through um a series of school transitions he
1:51
went to a special education preschool to help him with the communication deficit at that point he hadn't been diagnosed
1:58
with autism he was diagnosed with a speech and language impairment and
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the recommendation at that time it was a phenomenal preschool but the recommendation at that time was for him
2:09
to go to a different elementary school that had a more specialized kindergarten program
2:14
than our home school and my understanding at the time was that he would go into that school and he
2:21
would stay in that school for his entire elementary time
2:27
um and about halfway through the year i came to find out that wasn't the case
2:33
so by first grade he had to start in a whole nother school and that was our actual home school and that was the year
2:38
that he met sammy um so he came in as a new kid but we lived in the neighborhood the
2:44
entire time but kids just weren't familiar with him because he went down a different path
2:51
by second grade he started to express that he felt different i had had confirmation at that point that he was in fact autistic that he had
2:58
asperger's and um and i never wanted to tell him until he
3:04
started expressing feelings if he expressed feelings of being different or feeling different because i didn't want
3:10
him to ever use it as a crutch um as far as i'm concerned it's just part of who he is just part of his
3:16
personality it's just what makes him work it makes him fun and engaging and endearing and i didn't ever want him to
3:22
feel badly about himself because there was some kind of label attached was it heartbreaking for your six-year-old to
3:28
come home and say mom i feel different um it was heartbreaking that he wasn't
3:34
accepted you know feeling different was never really a problem for me because to me all kids are different um you know that
3:41
whole click piece i really i don't mind him standing out i don't mind any of my kids standing out but the
3:47
fact that he was so lonely and he was you know he was sad because he wasn't accepted
3:54
michael can you explain to people what asperger's is um like scientifically honestly it's
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basically like a more of a communication disorder because i know there's so many people that kind of are still kind of
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lost on the autistic scene but it's like kind of communication there's like stuff i apologize for any autistics reading
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this i know it's not as important but i just still have to point it out there's like high functioning low functioning
4:18
autism like there's all different levels i'm more on the high functioning side however like i think me as many other
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autistic people see it like we see it as just another part of who we are like we don't need a cure we don't need to be
4:33
changed or like controlled like we just live our lives the way we want to and we just want
4:38
to have the support of course we don't want to that can be controlled but to kind of
4:44
be accepted that's where it comes down to do you remember when you first started to become friends with sami or when you
4:50
guys first met do you and sammy do you remember when you first met michael yeah so i guess the way it sort of
4:57
started with me is my younger brother he also has autism he knows you know
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michael like you know ryan like it's you guys are kind of in a similar place right and
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so what i knew about my brother it's i don't he doesn't have asperger's but it's like a similar like struggling and
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social stuff in a similar way and when i was growing up my parents were like you know you
5:18
always got to look out for ryan because kids can be really mean and if someone's a little different people can be really
5:24
nasty and i met michael and i'm like hey i noticed a lot of similarities let me reach out already and then i met michael
5:31
and i'm like oh my god this kid's awesome so like that's kind of where it started where i was like this is someone who i
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think like you know when there's like a new kid at school everyone's like oh my god new person and then that kind of fades
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within like a week and i was like this is someone who i think
5:48
needs someone to reach out and i did and i'm really glad i did and i i think we
5:54
became i think that was really more first in a second grade when i noticed we were in the same class and i was like
5:59
this is someone who like think needs a buddy and i'm happy to be the buddy and then it grew into like a
6:05
really great friendship for sure i think like and i just i do remember like several things especially
6:12
like i think like i remember i was being like was in second grade and just like a couple of years after that uh fourth
6:18
grade and then by coincidence fifth grade it's just like being in the same class
6:23
it kind of really helped kind of just seeing each other it's like i don't know what caused this to just take off but
6:28
it's like our friendship kind of just soared from there and i think it's kind of stored even more like now that we're
6:34
a little bit more distant apart but i think it's just it's like yeah it's really cool and i'm
6:40
glad how did it make you feel when you were when you were struggling with that loneliness and you were struggling with
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um not having a lot of friends and feeling left out and sammy sammy who is just a nice
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warm kind human being befriends you and you can hit it off how did that make
6:58
you feel like i feel like i was more a little more accepted honestly like just uh no i
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have someone is just very kind to me and just very supportive
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instead of just kind of shut me out like a lot of other kids did it kind of just helped a lot and just made me feel a
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little more comfortable with myself obviously i always try to do my own thing but it's like i just prefer to
7:20
have friendships as well so i could have people to talk to and people to count on and that's like i feel like it's kind of
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just what started to help with friendships especially through like college and stuff like that
7:32
melissa as a mom do you remember when he when michael came home and said hey i
7:38
made a friend her name is sammy and she's really nice to me he did he he didn't express much and
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again that's because of the nature of the the disability if you will um but he did
7:51
have a different a different vibe you know like he would talk about somebody being nice and
7:56
hanging out with him at the playground or you know playing by the swings or um just even being spoken to or or brought
8:04
in um i remember they had um it was like a fifth grade end of the year dance kind of thing
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and um and she had a little get-together at her house and and invited him and
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we have this cute picture of the two of them like in a very weird awkward position you know standing there taking
8:23
a picture and um fast forward two years later michael
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decided in his junior here of high school that he wanted to graduate early
8:34
so he decided that he was going to do his junior year and senior year of high school in one year
8:40
and and he did it and that fast forwarded to prom so um the first thing he says to me is
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mom look he goes you know i'd really like to ask sammy and i'm like michael like she's in new york i don't know you
8:53
know because now we're in texas so yeah when how old was michael when you moved he was going into eighth grade okay i
9:00
keep going on me like the last day of seventh grade and i was like summer's about to start you can't spring this on
9:05
me right now yeah yeah and they spent a lot of time there's like the picture from the the
9:10
letter of that picture of us at the selfie and i think that's when michael turned me was like i'm moving away and
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i'm like could you tell you told me before we took the selfie
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yeah stayed friends which is it's very it's very sweet and it's a very
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um it's a very as a mom how much is that a relief to
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you to know that somebody has your son's back and somebody is kind to him and when maybe other children weren't i
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think that it's it's a relief to know that there are people out there that will accept him for him
9:43
you know i mean he and sammy have this history because you know they were six seven years old when they met and
9:49
sometimes they'll talk often and sometimes it might be months that go by you know just like any other friendship
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um and they never skip a beat they never skip a beat i mean we've been back to new york a couple times and they always
10:00
hang out or she flew down for prom she and her mom came and they took that same
10:06
picture again all those years later which was super cute like super awkward picture i'm like
10:13
we have like ridiculous poses but they you know like it it's very sweet that it's it's genuine
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you know it's a genuine situation and michael i think michael can be michael and he doesn't
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feel pressure with sammy you know they can talk or say nothing and be in the same room and hang out and
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it's it's like there's there's just there's no words to
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express how special their friendship is because at the end of the day i think they'll both be there for each other no
10:42
matter what you know it's like any social circles you know you're not going to talk to everybody
10:47
every single day and assume that well that's what makes a friend michael did having sammy as a friend
10:53
helped you have the confidence to make more friends i mean i made a couple of friends like
11:00
in high school a little bit but like i think it helped a little bit kind of just knowing what to expect yeah
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and i do know someone else that i do talk to in high school i mean we don't talk often as much but i think that it if i
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were to talk to her she would definitely talk to me for sure but yeah it's kind of helped and
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especially in college because now i'm like like i'm like helping to run an organization basically and
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yeah so it's like i kind of have a group of people that i can count on like as friends or as people i can really count
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on when i need them most for sure and it all started with sammy yeah that first friend sammy we didn't tell you about
11:40
the letter before we published it which i usually don't do i like to give people a heads up i was like i think that's okay
11:47
what was your reaction when you read this letter which michael basically said you you you had a huge impact on his
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life on his confidence and on his happiness yeah so it was crazy i mean i remember i
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had a friend over uh we were just like doing homework together and i was like i'm gonna take a break and i checked my phone i was like oh hey someone tagged
12:05
me something on facebook and it was the letter and then i'm like sitting there tearing
12:10
up and my study buddy friend was like are you okay and i'm like it's just a really nice
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just like i was like i was crying like i i like freaked out
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and michael did i facetime you or did i facetime you the next day no i i know i texted you yeah you definitely texted me
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let me just i gotta pull it up but yeah you definitely texted me as soon as now i was like i text i'm like oh my god
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this is the nicest thing anyone's ever done like i was freaking out it was just so so great
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well how has michael added to your life i
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i think you can see in a couple ways like one there's i i just want to doing stuff with him that i feel like i'd never do by myself
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like i got to go to prom with him which is just amazing you know whenever we whenever i visit him we just do all
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sorts of really cool stuff when he visits me we just have like special experiences that i feel like
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i wouldn't have other people we have this like weird history that i mean i don't have a ton of close friends
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either and so it's not like i have another person to be like oh my god do you remember in fourth grade when whatever
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happened and michael be like oh my god i totally do and it's just such a nice feeling so it's like to have someone like just like
13:26
on the same wavelength as me like even if we don't talk for a while and i think melissa said it perfectly how like we can just not talk for months and then
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just reconnect and just never skip a beat and i feel like it's like i never feel like i'm saying
13:38
the wrong thing with him like i feel like i have some friends where you know i send a text and i'm like oh my god was that like the weirdest thing ever like i
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feel like with michael there's no like wrong thing like we're just we we see each other's weirdness and
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like there's there's no issue with it so just as much as he feels like he can be himself with you
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you feel the same way about him absolutely that's really special did you realize
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how much you impacted him and how he felt about your
14:09
your friendship and your role in his life and his growth i don't think it was as much as a kid
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but i mean we don't really think about that much in elementary school i don't think any of us had very profound
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thoughts at the time but i i feel like even then just knowing i
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had like i said having like a buddy was really nice and then when he asked me to promos like at that moment i think
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i was like oh my god this is someone like i know i'm friends with but there's just so much more now and i
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was like i mean i think i have the video of him asking me to prom like i just got home from the gym so i wasn't like gym
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clothes and sweaty i'm like what's happening like it's but yeah it's the kind of thing where it's like i think that was the moment
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i'm like oh my god like this is someone that i have like like we're not just friends like this is a really special
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relationship here sammy what advice would you have for kids or for people
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who don't befriend people that are different than them or who may um not be as kind or who may be a bully to
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people who are different than them what are they missing out on and and what would you say to those people
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i think you know if you're gonna be mean to someone that's different from you it's almost like
15:19
what are you scared like do you think their weirdness is gonna like rub off on you and i think that's what sometimes people
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are scared of and it's like just be kind like befriend someone discover something that you didn't know you like
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like i knew i liked mario kart michael has unleashed this mario kart beast inside of me i think
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and it's like befriend someone like just find out something new about them and then just
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about yourself like you're missing out on knowing great people if you're only surrounding yourself with people that
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are like you i think that is so true michael what is your favorite memory
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with sammy okay honestly i think i have a lot of memories oh my gosh i think
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for sure i think as of right now just like i think when she surprised me for my 18th birthday
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that she flew down like i i didn't even realize it and it's funny because at the time my
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dad was working at the airport pretty much close by and i thought it was just okay just a work thing or something
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honestly i don't even pay attention because i'm like i don't really care so much
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about dad's job a lot but it's like basically the idea like i always check like for disney or nintendo news or like
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videos or stuff like that it's just it's like dad literally had to tell me to look up in order
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to see it was hard you were on your phone and i was just standing there and he was like up
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michael would you have gone to prom had you not had sammy to go with yeah no definitely not like
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yeah honestly it was her or i'm not doing it because like it's just i'd rather have the experience
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with someone that i trust and i know i was gonna have a long friendship than just someone who
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like kind of just does it for the sake of experience and to
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to attest to that you know because michael put himself in the situation he did
17:20
by graduating a year early he really didn't know that many of those seniors oh i didn't even think of that well
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again here he is putting himself out there because promise an experience that you
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should experience you know um but because he had her
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he didn't even think about it you know he just saw it as i'm going to prom i'm graduating high school
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sammy's going to be with me it's going to be great he was able to be excited instead yeah
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yeah absolutely because he he most likely would not have gone um because he didn't know anybody really
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michael i want to ask you the same question i asked sammy what would you say to people who are
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not nice to someone who's different than them or afraid to talk to someone who's different than them or who even bullies
18:09
someone who's different i think that there's definitely mistakes
18:14
that they've made for sure honestly for bullying like it's one thing when you don't want to like if you're afraid to
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reach out to them or just like not realizing it but it's like another just completely
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targets someone that's different than you it's kind of just unfair in a sense and
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again i could probably relate that back to the actually autistic community where like there's so many non-autistics
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who don't understand how we work and it's just that we get treated differently as a result of that
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so yeah sammy do you think because michael maybe was similar to your brother you had
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more comfort more compassion more understanding than maybe the average six-year-old or seven-year-old or
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eight-year-old i think so yeah i think that's why i was drawn to him and like i knew at the time it was like
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like this is someone who is different and i think my instinct at the time was like be kind and like expect that it's
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not gonna be like a completely normal friendship like i think i kind of i think sometimes that also like deters
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people if they're trying to get close to someone maybe with autism they're like this isn't like a normal conversation this is like i don't know how to connect
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and i feel like i kind of went in with like a bit more understanding
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and i was like this isn't going to be totally normal we're going to have like awkward pauses in a conversation
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sometime like it's it's not going to be completely smooth sailing every single time we hang out
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and every single time we talk yeah but i think i went in kind of with that expectation and kind of with
19:45
ways to navigate that i don't think everyone has everyone who's not familiar
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with someone i'm sure your parents know who you are and you've done many things to make them
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proud but when they read that letter did they get emotional at all because i shared it with them i don't
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think my dad read it but i liked it your mom like that's
20:13
i'm going to open up to questions uh one person has a question and actually alan my dad has a com i think it's yeah
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allen's ipad yeah that's my dad i'm gonna let him make his comment and then i'm gonna go to willard for
20:25
a question what she got he's crying i think too
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i'm crying already but i'm gonna tell you i try to get this out i feel like i'm eating a celebrity because your
20:36
grandmother was so proud of you uh i i don't see all her grandchildren
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but every other word was michael michael did this michael did this michael did this she was so so proud of her michael
20:49
just so you know and my other statement you did not know i know michael through
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his grandmother his grandmother well worked for my father probably what 20 30 years ago and so our
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families have known each other since i was very very very young but in addition you know you go to
21:10
university of houston one of my facebook friends is a play-by-play person for the sports team
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who also did a letter so if you write the gerald sanchez you tell him you have something in common you know you did a
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letter for the adobe but also your grandmother your grandmother was a huge partner when i started the unsealed
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but proud of you both sami and michael it's really it's an honor thank you dad and then willard
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yeah let him go cry somewhere else i'm going to say talking about michael's grandma like the few times that i know
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her she treated me like i was her own grandchild yeah like she was amazing like we'd hang out and i'm like i'm
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excited to see michael but like michael's grandma i'm kidding but like
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you know she would she took us out to ice cream and stuff and the shows and like she just she also i mean
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part of the reason i think i'm so close to michael is like when we were younger just have someone to drive us to be able
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to hang out together so she was definitely big in us getting close simply and being able to like
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physically get us together michael's grandmother was probably one of the warmest people you are me around
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her she would make you feel um like you were a superstar when i started getting sealed every day she was posted on her
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facebook she's my lead pr check out this amazing story so that
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that that is how we know each other and she when did she pass melissa
22:36
she passed a la little over a year ago oh it's a year or an eight wow oh yeah yeah
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so yeah september was a year um woman kind woman and definitely a
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grandma that was proud of her grandson yeah willard what's your question
22:55
you know i am a muted you know it's it's kind of hard to follow after alan there cause he
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was name dropping there i'm sorry buddy i can't name drop on this one but
23:07
sammy and michael um kind of a uh out of left field question
23:13
when you guys first started your relationship and started you know knowing how it would be a little different how did you navigate both of
23:20
your friend groups i mean how did they accept you guys uh i don't know if this is the same for
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michael but my guess is it's a similar question is that neither of us really had a friend group which is part of what
23:31
drew us to each other yeah would you agree mike oh yeah honestly i didn't really have any friends at least
23:38
at the time or people i could count on so yeah i guess there's really can't answer that question for you so i
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apologize for that but yeah i think just the similarities of us not having a big
23:51
friend group kind of just drew us closer together honestly so i did kind of miss the very top of that
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what brought you two together i mean it's a unique kind of situation uh a unique
24:05
friendship a deep friendship what brought you guys together so i think i mean i said a little before my
24:12
brother he has autism and it's it's mild like michael and we're very lucky he's also he actually just got into got a
24:18
college acceptance letter today big brag but um i noticed i was like all right when i
24:24
met michael i was like all right i don't even really said it to me it was like he's different too but i was like all right he does some similar stuff that my
24:30
brother does and i was always taught like it's gonna be hard for ryan to have friends so always be kind and i was like
24:38
you know what if it's gonna be hard for ryan my brother have friends i have a feeling michael might struggle in the
24:43
same way let me reach out and that's just kind of i did it once and we just kind of stuck
24:50
i love it by the way anyone else who has a question or comment that you guys can just let me know in the chat box you can
24:55
ask it there or you can um you can ask me i can put the video to you and you can ask yourself but it's an
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open conversation for anyone who has to who has a question or a comment um
25:06
but i i you know i think to willard's question about like having your own friend group you guys kind of created
25:12
your own group with grandma ronnie too
25:19
yeah the three of us we were like tightest friend group melissa as a mom
25:26
do you think his friendship uh with sammy changed the trajectory of
25:33
his life you know he's about to graduate college he has been very successful in in many different ways do you think
25:40
that this friendship was a very crucial and critical
25:46
piece of his success i think that i think that their friendship their bond
25:52
um has given him a little bit of a filler for the missing piece that he always
25:57
felt a void with um because he's always embraced you know with family and he does his own thing
26:03
and even to talk to him or you know just give him an opportunity people would really be surprised you
26:09
know you hear autism and you know it's like oh my gosh run for the hills i didn't even know what autism was
26:15
until i had my son um i never even heard of it the honest truth
26:20
so it was a whole learning experience for me as a parent
26:26
um especially with all the obstacles we faced even in the public school system
26:31
um for years and years and years and you know we finally got it down to a
26:37
science by the time he was finishing middle school entering into high school which is sad
26:43
um i was a parent advocate for years for children and parents i would sit at those committee meetings
26:49
all the time and advocate because there's such an unknown to it but michael always felt like he was
26:55
missing something and then you know he would either reach out to sammy or she would reach out to
27:00
him or they would go hang out or what not and then those concerns those nerves those those
27:07
feelings of of sadness would just kind of dissipate um so i think that
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their friendship fills a void for him because he knows that she's always there
27:20
and again it could be months that they don't talk it could be you know three days a week i
27:26
mean whatever it is but i think for both of them they just know that they're there this is a lifelong friend and that
27:33
that matters knowing that you always have someone that has your back what do you think of other people
27:38
isn't that wild i think it's in 15 years give or take yeah michael we're old now oh goodness
27:47
oh goodness uh what do you hope people learn from your friendship when people see you and people learn your story
27:54
what do you hope people can take away how do you hope that your friendship maybe inspires others
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um mike do you want to go first um like i feel like from our friendship i just hope people realize that as again
28:07
like people can be different people can have different friendships like you don't have to necessarily
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have like like a certain black and white way of doing things like
28:18
no friendship is 100 perfect like of course there's going to be days where we all feel confused and stuff
28:25
like it shouldn't be like perceived by how media perceives it kind of like it
28:30
should be perceived based on real stories and stuff like that and i think that if people were to take more from
28:36
real stories instead of just always relying on such a like a little narrative if you get what
28:42
i mean it just it helps better to understand what friendship truly is
28:48
that's a good point i think it's like i think people should remember also yeah like you know what reach out like if you
28:54
see someone just try and talk them like it's it's scary sometimes but even being like
29:00
hey what's your name like what's your snapchat or whatever just try to connect and i think that's
29:06
like the scariest part and i know maybe i was too little at the time to be scared of that and i was like ooh friend
29:12
i don't know but like reach out and you might wind up with someone that i think you're right michael it doesn't need to
29:17
be someone you're like all right now we're best friends and we need to sleep over every other night and we need to
29:23
talk every day and like sit together it gets we don't have that like attached at the hip kind of friendship
29:29
and i mean i think that's partially because of distance partially because you know michael's too busy being like the
29:34
smartest person in all his classes graduating early like someone was superstar student over here doesn't have
29:41
time for me it's okay but like you know what we don't we don't have the time to
29:46
be like stuck together all the time but that doesn't take away from the friendship it doesn't make me feel like
29:52
i'm missing out or and like i think michael said it right that you don't need to have like the like movie idea of friendship of someone
29:59
who now is like finishes your sentences best friend like eating every meal together kind of person it can be
30:06
someone that you don't talk to you for a while but like you know is just always there for you like when it comes down to it
30:12
they will be there and i think people sometimes forget that and i think i'm i'm really lucky to have michael be
30:18
that person for me i think the other thing is you oh sorry where you said oh go ahead go ahead you
30:24
go ahead first i think the other thing too is that social media kind of just has changed the idea of a friendship
30:31
really like it's all more about popularity now instead of just like what is a true friend like i don't think
30:37
i don't think people like within younger generations realize like what friendship truly means like i
30:44
feel like because we were growing up in a time that it was not as technology driven and
30:49
there wasn't as many social media options it kind of just yeah it's just kind of different and i
30:54
just wish what does friendship mean to you um i think for me the friendship means
30:59
someone i could count on like they don't always we don't have to always like check in with each other every time but
31:05
as mom and sammy have said like it's like as soon as as like we talk to each other it's like
31:12
we can pick that back from where we started i'm going to put willie on the spot well i do you have a question
31:18
oops one thing i can find my own mute function got it hey there you got me
31:26
am i there oh there i am all right hello um yeah i do have a question back um you
31:34
know willard brought up about um you know friend groups and that type of thing you mentioned
31:39
uh you know sort of clearing up the misconceptions of social media and all that but for melissa um
31:48
and again being that mom you're going to take on the world and you probably you probably want to jump on social media
31:53
and clear up every single misguided comment that you see but you can't do that and there's no time to do that and
31:59
um and some people you just can't fix anyway but um but what kind of who was michael before
32:07
sammy came along what what what kind of young man was he what kind of kid was he before she came along was he more
32:12
withdrawn what was who was he so michael michael was very fortunate um
32:19
somebody had mentioned to me when he was about 15 or so months old that um something just kind of seemed a
32:25
little bit off and i knew nothing i mean he was my first child plant um but he was happy he
32:32
just hung out he really rarely cried i could put him in the middle at a pool table in my house at the time he'd be
32:38
right in the middle of all the crazy action and nothing um looking back now that i've educated
32:45
myself all these years i see kind of where the deficits were but i didn't know it at that point um so by the time
32:53
i was about 18 months old i had him evaluated and again they said it was a speech and language impairment he would
32:59
read to you any book you could open any book anywhere that he's never seen before he could decode and read anything
33:06
he looked at but he wouldn't talk to you so there was zero communication skills
33:13
nothing um we had to teach him sign language real early on basic sign language
33:18
because he wouldn't have a conversation or try to talk and it wasn't because he wasn't able to um physically
33:25
but it was that that social emotional stigma that it just didn't click um and that's pretty much how he's lived
33:31
his life i mean he's a very black and white kind of person he got to a point probably by middle
33:38
school where when people would joke with him he would actually stop them and say like wait you're kidding right
33:44
like was that a joke or were you being serious you know because he he was able to qualify it which is fascinating but
33:51
sometimes people would take offense to that because they think they're funny and he just didn't you know so um
33:58
as it as a child going into a preschool situation the preschool he was in was a
34:03
special education preschool so they were fully equipped to deal with what was going on with him so he
34:10
received speech he received occupational therapy you know he had um some upper body you know
34:17
misabilities he had a lot kind of going on but to look at him he looked totally typical look totally normal um if you
34:25
will whatever that means so when i transitioned him into
34:30
kindergarten and then unfortunately into a third school by first grade
34:35
the bigger concern was the adjustment socially because the kids that he was with in
34:41
kindergarten it was a smaller class setting so all those kids had something going on
34:46
okay now i mainstream him into a public school setting which is really where he belonged the whole time
34:52
and he was like outcasted completely utterly absolutely not
34:57
this kid's a weirdo we want nothing to do with him and sadly at the time the teacher that
35:02
he had in that first grade setting was not keen on
35:09
disability and i'll kind of leave it at that um and it it made for a very very difficult
35:15
transition for him as a six-year-old um devastating because
35:21
she would keep trying to push him into a realm of wall flowers and he really wasn't that
35:28
way with a little bit of an encouragement with a different placement i think that his elementary early elementary years
35:34
could have been very very different um by the time he got to second grade
35:39
uh totally different between a friendship with sammy um and also the
35:45
teacher that he had she saw him and she grabbed it onto him hook line and sinker and she
35:52
miraculously undid a significant amount of damage that was done um in a school setting the year before
35:59
uh so there's and we're still in touch with her today um huge huge game changer
36:04
because she allowed him to be himself and she would course correct him as needed
36:09
um yes she was amazing i'd have breakfast with
36:15
her every wednesday yeah like i mean you know i have my own stuff going on and we had like check-ins like
36:22
she was like she was she knew i think you're right that like she knew the people who were a little out because like i have my own some like behavioral
36:29
stuff and yeah but she just knew honey she just she was that teacher like she just she
36:35
knew and that's rare and i was very fortunate as a parent
36:40
that he had somebody grab on to him early on and she was also very involved
36:46
in all of his placements subsequent to that to that year because she wanted to make
36:52
sure that he was going to be insulated and given an opportunity so i mean as a mom
36:59
like anybody else do i go through and read all the garbage out there i don't because i know what the
37:05
truth is but you also have to remember that when you meet one person with autism you meet one person with autism
37:12
that spectrum is so significant and really if society would focus on
37:19
people skills and just acceptance in general in any format or platform
37:25
if people would realize that no one person's better than another which is what i constantly tell because
37:31
i'm a teacher now as a result of my experience with my son um
37:37
if that if that concept could just be drilled and conquered like we're all different period
37:44
you don't have to have a label or a a concept of what you're supposed
37:49
to be that stigma um it would be a little bit more of a happier place
37:55
you know he had a project uh last year in in college and it was it was a social media project and he actually started a
38:03
social media campaign and called it asperger's identity did it all by himself oh wow all by himself what was the asperger's
38:10
identity project michael so basically the idea which i've stopped but it's not like i don't want to not go back to it
38:17
like when i get more time i want to or when i feel more motivated i should say but like it was a six week project
38:25
that you had to be sleepy it was like you had to post some stuff on social media and like you have to post like
38:32
share stories and stuff like that and just also i think the thing was you had to write six
38:38
kind of long form or blog type content
38:43
basically and then i kind of just didn't really have much else else to work with honestly and i just all right i'll use
38:49
the autistic piece to work with that and just work with that so yeah i mean it got a little bit of a
38:54
following though so yeah willard has another question his hands raised what you got
39:03
okay hello newt hi willie parker for starters this question is for uh melissa um
39:11
my ex-girlfriend had a son that was on the spectrum um this is probably a tough question for
39:17
you but as michael started into school how many different schools that you had
39:23
to try to put him in to finally get a teacher that really understood what he
39:29
was he was and it wasn't anything about him other than knowing a child on the spectrum and how
39:36
to deal with it sure yeah not a tough question at all he was actually in the public school
39:42
setting from kindergarten all the way through
39:47
the difference was that he had a school hop because he was in a private
39:53
preschool that worked with social emotional and communication delays then the
39:58
kindergarten class that was a public school kindergarten class that was recommended was more for kids with social emotional
40:06
and communication delays um so he was always in public school but the kindergarten setting was
40:13
smaller and a different school than he would have gone to unfortunately i was told one thing at
40:19
that time and it actually flipped to something else he should have stayed in that school and
40:24
mainstreamed with the rest of the kids over time that's not what happened they said no he
40:30
has to go back to his home school for first grade well had i known that i would have left him in his home school for kindergarten and the transitions
40:37
would not have been as significant in such a a pivotal point in a child's life
40:44
so i think it kind of threw him off because you know three schools in three years um is a lot a lot for anybody
40:53
you know with asperger's yes yeah michael are you proud of your as we said
40:59
you're graduating college next semester yeah um yeah i'm graduating next semester for
41:05
sure and with a degree in reminding me so management information
41:10
systems and i'm also minoring in marketing are you proud of yourself um i think so yeah i think so you're not
41:18
sure honestly like it's kind of tough just because like i'm basically taking college in a pandemic
41:26
like that's basically where it was but like it had its advantages and it had its disadvantages kinda like i don't
41:32
want to go too many into much into details but like i'm glad that i was able to have this experience and i was
41:38
able to kind of live how i was able to and ultimately save some money as a
41:44
result for that but like yeah i think that just throughout the pandemic i've kind
41:50
of just learned different things that i don't think the traditional school experience would have been like
41:57
and yeah it's just i've had moments where they were great there were great classes and there were others that were
42:03
just like just take it for the credit and stuff like that even bigger picture than that though even for beyond the pandemic you know
42:10
you were a kid that teachers didn't always do right by you and kids didn't always do right by you
42:16
and school districts didn't always do right by you as your mom just said three different school districts three different schools in three years hard on
42:23
anybody and yet you had all these challenges and all these obstacles that maybe other kids don't have some i'm sure do and
42:30
that here you are about to graduate from college and you're on a zoom talking to a group of people asking you
42:36
questions that you don't know what they're going to ask and you're as you mentioned your condition is characterized
42:44
by having trouble with communication which clearly you are not having trouble with tonight
42:49
yeah not tonight or maybe not now as much at all ever because of the growth when you look at
42:56
the big picture from where you started at six years old seven years old when you met sammy to where you are today
43:03
does that make you pat yourself on the back like i do i honestly do feel proud of kind of just the journey i've been
43:10
through honestly and just how i've kind of started from a young child to kind of
43:15
just almost graduating honestly it's kind of it's kind of weird honestly that
43:22
it's kind of already over you're an adult welcome
43:28
because honestly school's been my whole life basically like like i've basically kind of just been so
43:35
used to it now i'm like going into the working world like it's just feels so weird like
43:41
i wish i couldn't do that honestly but i know it's not like i want to stay in college too
43:48
sammy you have seen his whole journey or most of his journey are you proud of him have you seen the growth have you seen
43:54
his evolution i am proud as hell like oh my god
43:59
i mean i think i mean i'm just so happy to be friends with michael and i think when he told me he was graduating a year
44:06
early i think that's what i kind of clicked that i'm like he's like he's really going places like he has hit his
44:12
stride and even if it's not all the way there socially like he has found his spot like
44:18
he is so hard working in school he is so smart and every time we check him with each other i'm like how's school going
44:25
he's like oh it's fine i have an a and whatever i'm like what do you mean oh you just said you've been a
44:30
and that's basically our conversations that like i know there's been
44:36
so many other roadblocks but not even speed bumps i'll say
44:42
and i just from where he is where he was
44:47
when we were younger and sometimes our conversations would almost be like an interview because he really wasn't there
44:53
socially to hearing him talk tonight i i'm so proud of him
44:58
are you proud of yourself too i mean to have the the maturity that you had at seven years
45:04
old i think it's pretty impressive i i don't know i just
45:11
i don't want to say it and sound almost like i'm like the hero who is like he's different i'm gonna risk him like i
45:17
don't want to sound like that kind of person because more than anything i was you know i was like this is someone who
45:24
needs a friend and i need a friend and let's be friends and so
45:31
i don't know if i want to say i'm proud of myself for it because i don't want it to sound like it was some like me trying
45:37
to get like universal brownie points or whatever but i'm just i'm just lucky that michael's
45:44
my friend i love that answer melissa are you like where are your tissues
45:50
you know these kids you know watching them both grow up over the years and and you know their their friendship develop
45:56
um it's really it's been a blessing there's no other word for it you know they are they are fantastic
46:03
um they're both going places you know everybody's on a different path everybody's got different
46:09
goals and visions um but there's not a doubt in my mind with both of them that they'll be the utmost
46:16
successful individuals um society needs to look out
46:21
sammy what do you want to do um i want to be a lawyer
46:27
what about you michael so for right now i'm aiming to just
46:32
shoot for walt disney company that's really where i'm trying to go for honestly what do you want to do for them
46:38
like i think just honestly the truth is like after seeing so many stories like
46:43
just from past imagineers and kind of especially with the shift and the leadership that's
46:49
really going to kick off starting in january like i want to just be able to contribute kind of ideas and
46:57
things and just kind of use university of houston's power kind of just as an advantage
47:02
kind of i just like for now i'm gonna start like through like maybe like data visualization or something to do with
47:08
data because that's what management information systems basically is just i got to get my feet into the door that's
47:13
all i want to do i do want to do the college program if i don't get into the
47:18
inter professional internship but like i just i want to that's where i
47:23
want to work honestly and unless things change or an offer comes up that's kind of where my goal would be i'm sure you
47:31
will get there i just want to open it up add some oh yeah go ahead am i something am i being proud part yes
47:37
i don't think i've ever heard michael say that many words in a row it was great
47:43
it was great and i say that with love you know i say that with love but i don't think i've ever heard him like
47:49
that so and talk about like progress like and growing up i think
47:54
michael you're like that was that was great i don't know why
48:00
it's because it's like
48:06
anyone else have a question or comment anyone else can chime in if they want i just want to make sure everyone gets a chance
48:12
but anyone who has a question or comment i'm going to go to my mom cause i bet you she has something
48:19
i have a question actually question uh hi michael my name's quacy
48:24
nice to meet you and thank you for sharing your experience i guess the question that i have is um
48:30
from your relationship with sami as well as i think you kind of hinted towards this uh the pandemic and going to school
48:36
in the pandemic what what lessons do you think you've learned from both of these
48:42
different aspects that you can bring with you to the working world um that you that you could bring with you
48:47
to the working world i think at the end of the day just kind of just i feel like it's more kind of
48:53
just being honest with yourself and being honest about your friendship and stuff like that like i
49:00
feel like if you're honest about things like it's so much more beneficial than just like
49:06
like just faking your way through it almost like things need to be honest in life i think
49:12
that's the biggest key key element for the working world
49:19
sammy you want to answer the question too thank you i still got two and a half more years
49:26
out you're trying
49:31
talking about being authentic yeah and then i'm trying to do some grad school before i go to law school because
49:38
yeah but i think michael talking about being authentic and like in the working world
49:43
i think he nailed it and that's kind of what i was saying before like you're gonna sometimes question yourself and watch yourself with different
49:48
friendships and i think this friendship has taught me that like faking it like that and being like oh my
49:55
god was that weird it's exhausting and when you have someone that you can text something and be like that was probably
50:01
weird but i know he doesn't care like he'll find it funny like it's a relief it feels so good to be
50:09
able to just yeah just be yourself and if a person doesn't like you for yourself they're
50:15
probably not a very good friend i think dr seuss said we're all a little weird
50:20
real weird i also i want to just piggyback on that though um especially for both of them
50:26
but really for anybody flexibility uh is another thing and adaptability uh
50:32
are two things that go hand in hand that i know at least for michael he's had to
50:38
kind of wager his way around um because in his mindset when he's
50:44
committed to something um when that shifts he struggles with that
50:50
um more substantial than a neurotypical individual so that has been a huge
50:57
uh learning curve for him not that he minded learning online he's totally fine with you know in person or online
51:04
classes but the the the amount of flexibility that he
51:09
had to adjust to um was definitely a game changer for him and i think that'll help him in the
51:15
working world understanding that not everything is black and white and concrete that sometimes on a whim you
51:21
got to change it up and and make it work i'm not going to ask you if you're proud of your son but you have to be so proud
51:27
of your son i know you are it's not an if it's just
51:32
a definition somebody earned it he worked for it he hit a substantial amount of obstacles
51:39
um and you know he was told so many times in in roundabout
51:46
ways that he's not going to amount to much that he won't be able to do much that he won't be able to
51:51
succeed in certain things from kids and adults um and
51:57
it was just not an option not an option in our household like he
52:02
he just was going to stay on his straight and narrow and do his thing
52:08
and words hurt um hopefully learned that in that journey
52:14
uh those that are really more envious than anything or frustrated that how can this kid do
52:20
it and i can't you know that mindset um he's not
52:25
at all full of himself he's not egotistical by any stretch of the means um but i i
52:31
over time have taught him to have somewhat of a thick skin because your people are mean
52:37
yeah you know you don't have to have autism to experience meat people are mean um and it's just a society that we're in
52:43
but he's he's faced stuff head-on and and plowed right through it i mean he is way further than anybody ever gave him
52:51
credit that he would be and he'll continue i love you michael i'm gonna let and i'm proud of you too
52:56
sammy mom i'm gonna let you say something because you always say something really sweet
53:04
can you unmute there you go i'm sorry lauren i'm sorry what did you say lauren but i want i wanted to let you make a comment because
53:10
you always say something very sweet oh yes i'd love to
53:19
oh you're freezing
53:26
you are a lovely person kind of and so are you michael
53:32
and i'm so proud of both of you because you've supported each other
53:38
you've guided each other you're both going to achieve great things in life because you
53:45
have a good heart and a good brain and i wish you all both all the best continued friendship continued success
53:54
continued happiness i know it's going to be there for you both
54:01
thank you thank you
54:08
lauren you're muted now unmute sorry i muted myself so that we wouldn't have feedback because my mom is
54:15
in the next room visiting for the holidays but stacy i believe who is your stacy um says there's nothing you both
54:22
can't do you are amazing people and i think everyone here feels the same way about both of you and i'm excited to
54:29
see what you guys both do next and i'm glad you guys will have each other to support um one another along the way
54:36
i'm just going to unmute everyone so everyone can say goodnight but um i hope everyone has happy holidays merry
54:42
christmas happy new year and thank you everyone for joining us tonight i'm just
54:47
trying to unmute everyone you guys can unmute yourself so i think i just muted you melissa good night everybody thank you thank you
54:56
thank you good night thank you guys happy new year happy new year happy
55:02
holidays happy holidays
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