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LESLIE JONES Talks New Memoir ‘Leslie F*cking Jones’, Tells The Story About Shooting Whoopi Goldberg
Sep 21, 2023
Comedian and Actress Leslie Jones stopped by Sway In The Morning to talk about her new memoir.
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0:00
Sin
0:01
Sin one of my favorite people to watch
0:05
of all time there's a few people that no
0:07
matter who they are where they are in
0:10
life yeah I'm always gonna feel better
0:12
when I see their work
0:14
there are a few people that do that for
0:17
me and she is one of them uh I've been a
0:20
big fan of hers for quite some time like
0:23
many people I discovered her on SNL but
0:25
she's done so many different types of
0:27
things ever since uh Ghostbusters reboot
0:30
Coming to America train wreck all these
0:32
different things Heather Beach was
0:34
nominated for a prime time Emmy Award
0:36
for outstanding supporting actress in a
0:38
comedy series man give it up for the one
0:40
and only the lovely the Magnificent one
0:42
herself give it up for Leslie Jones
0:50
there's been a few moments on this show
0:53
that let me know that I'm living my
0:55
dreams okay one of them one of them
0:58
lastly is when um
1:00
the act of President Barack Obama
1:03
called in on our show I knew I was
1:05
living out my dream wow another one is a
1:09
good dream man come on man if I meet
1:11
Michelle I'm gonna pass out you ain't
1:12
met Michelle no not yet man I just feel
1:15
like they're keeping us from each other
1:16
because I feel like as soon as we meet
1:19
each other like the sun is just gonna
1:21
become brighter and trees are gonna grow
1:24
I see that you know what I'm saying
1:25
butterflies are gonna just start flying
1:27
out everywhere I think it's gonna be a
1:29
miracle with you Michelle Michelle Obama
1:32
and Leslie Jones meet that's gonna
1:34
happen butterflies are gonna fly out
1:37
so that was one of the meetings the
1:39
other thing LL Cool J come up here
1:42
recently freestyle great and you know
1:45
what's so what people don't understand
1:46
about like real hip-hop because you know
1:49
I'm old enough I was here when hip-hop
1:51
started okay yes I was there it was
1:53
beginning I was there I was there
1:55
somebody like Heather B killing the mic
1:58
I would never forget that girl you
2:00
definitely you know you owe us an album
2:06
that's like real talk like do you
2:09
understand what I'm saying like because
2:11
that's when rap was like educational and
2:13
still sounded good you know what I'm
2:16
saying LL I just saw ll in the concert
2:19
and I'm gonna tell you it's like that
2:21
man never stopped rapping never stop one
2:23
of the best shows I ever seen seriously
2:26
that dude is tight I love it uh Leslie
2:29
[ __ ] Jones is the name of the Memoir
2:31
that's out tomorrow for uh Chris Rock
2:34
did the forward yes
2:37
hey baby go to
2:38
go down and make sure you get that audio
2:39
too because the audio gonna be off the
2:41
chain absolutely speak to your
2:43
relationship with Chris Rock what did he
2:45
play any role with you getting on SNL
2:47
yes he did Chris I've known Chris
2:49
forever you know us comedians known each
2:51
other forever before we actually make it
2:53
and Chris used to see me all the time I
2:56
would chase him to his truck I literally
2:57
would Chase Chris out of the club and I
3:01
would chase him right because to the
3:02
valet because he always parked in the
3:03
front and I was like Chris and I'll be
3:05
like Chris come on you know I'm funny
3:07
dude you know I'm funny why you don't
3:09
tell these people about me and he was
3:11
like you're not ready you're not ready
3:12
yet but it's so funny he told me the
3:14
story he was like I never said that she
3:16
wasn't ready I said that they wasn't
3:18
ready for you and I was like no no I
3:21
remember what you said man I remember
3:23
what you said and and he was right I I I
3:27
was doing jokes but I wasn't doing
3:30
comedy okay like like there is a
3:33
difference what's the difference it is a
3:34
difference I mean there's Comics that
3:36
you love to watch and the reason you
3:38
love to watch them is because they're
3:40
doing comedy they're doing their life
3:42
they're making real problems funny
3:44
they're making you know and then you
3:46
have doing comedy the put on pump [ __ ]
3:49
they're like oh the white man did this
3:50
the black man did that those are jokes
3:52
you know those are just you know but
3:54
when you're doing comedy where someone
3:56
can't copy your jokes you know like like
3:58
you when you're telling them like I all
4:01
my stuff on stage is literally [ __ ]
4:03
that's happened to me and I can make it
4:05
funny and that is what a comic's job is
4:07
whenever people sitting around saying I
4:09
can do comedy well can you make your
4:12
mama laugh can you make your mama's Mama
4:13
laugh can you make your mama's friends
4:15
friends laugh because I can't can you so
4:19
that that's that's the difference you
4:21
know what I'm saying so uh when my
4:23
brother passed away is when I actually
4:26
started doing coming not saying that I
4:29
didn't love it and that I wasn't funny
4:30
and that I wasn't doing my thing but it
4:33
was a different type of going up on
4:35
stage and not giving a [ __ ] if you laugh
4:37
I don't give a [ __ ] if you you laugh I
4:40
know this is funny and I need you to
4:41
hear this story it took your brother to
4:43
pass it away to get to that point my
4:45
brother to pass away
4:49
uh
4:50
I was like okay everybody dying I must
4:53
be next okay so let me kill this WOW
4:56
before so if I die what they gonna say
5:00
about me was that [ __ ] was funny as
5:02
[ __ ] man she used to do them man she
5:04
used to do them jokes that was like
5:06
crazy so it's it was a it was a mind
5:09
thing at the time trying to get through
5:11
grief trying to mourn someone that you
5:13
love that you didn't expect that was
5:15
gonna die and um yeah I started wearing
5:19
the mohawk I didn't you know that's
5:20
where the mohaw came yo let me tell you
5:22
something if you really look at if you
5:24
if you really a fan and you know me
5:26
before the hawk before the hawk which is
5:29
hilarious I call myself conservatives
5:32
like I would not come on stage without
5:34
my hair done or without a clean t-shirt
5:37
and some and I I was always presentable
5:40
but after my brother died I gave no
5:43
[ __ ] and I dared anybody to say
5:45
anything about me so it was like the
5:47
Mohawk was how my hair would look when I
5:49
was at home and didn't do it okay so in
5:51
average I don't know if y'all know Ian
5:53
of course
5:54
I was literally more than my brother I
5:57
was in the middle of the floor and I
5:59
remember this because it was very lethal
6:01
weaponish you remember when he was
6:03
telling the story I was laying on the
6:04
floor and I was just like yeah I'm just
6:06
not gonna move from here I'm just not
6:08
gonna move but there was voices that was
6:10
like well how we gonna pay rent
6:13
you can't pay rent just laying in the
6:15
middle of flooring man man you need to
6:17
go to the back bathroom man like you
6:19
know what you gonna eat like you're
6:20
starting to stink like you know stuff
6:22
was going but I was like I'm not moving
6:23
and Ian Everest hit me on my phone and
6:26
he was like yo I need a comedian he did
6:29
I don't think he knew my brother passed
6:30
he was like I need a comedian what's his
6:32
name didn't show up come and do this
6:33
I'll give you 75 now I'm moving for 75.
6:35
okay seventy five dollars if you're a
6:38
comedian and you need you moving for 75
6:40
yeah so I got up and I put on my clothes
6:42
I went and looked in the mirror and I
6:44
was like I'm not doing [ __ ] to my hair
6:46
and it was a straight it was beautiful
6:47
because I had just got it done the sides
6:49
of smoke the hawk was just Hawking the
6:51
hawk was talking so I got out the car
6:54
and Ian was like yo is that how you
6:56
wearing your hair now and I thought he
6:58
was going to start snapping on me he was
6:59
like you look like a [ __ ] Superstar
7:01
and I was like oh well this took nothing
7:04
to do yes this is how I'm gonna be
7:06
wearing my hair from now on because I
7:08
didn't want to do anything I didn't want
7:10
to have to do [ __ ] you when you get a
7:13
death that's close to you yeah
7:15
everything I'm telling you you don't be
7:18
affected until someone Close to You dies
7:21
and you go [ __ ] man they're not gonna be
7:24
here anymore that [ __ ] is painful as
7:28
[ __ ] and then to have to go up and make
7:30
people laugh it was a different type of
7:32
feeling now yeah the passion now that I
7:35
felt for comedy that it wasn't just
7:37
about making people laugh this is about
7:39
bring get myself some joy and healing
7:42
yeah so it and it turned into a
7:45
vulnerable and it I turned vulnerable on
7:47
stage I was just just doing jokes that
7:49
oh there and then Chris saw me one late
7:52
night I was at the comedy store and I
7:54
was doing this slave joke the one I got
7:56
in trouble by which pisses me off
7:58
because it's a genius joke can you do it
8:01
again well it's it what it was basically
8:04
can you do that to everybody I have no
8:08
problem with doing it because it's a
8:10
great it's a great [ __ ] joke and
8:13
where it originated from was years ago I
8:16
wrote this joke 15 years before I
8:18
started doing it I had came off a bad
8:20
date I came off a really bad date which
8:23
was a line of bad dates that I had and I
8:26
was sitting in the middle of the floor
8:27
and I remember I was eating cold Chinese
8:29
food and I was like God damn it you know
8:33
back in the slave days
8:35
I would never be single
8:38
I would be the number one slave draft
8:41
pick I was like look at me I'm six feet
8:44
tall look at my teeth look at my hair
8:46
look how strong I am they will be
8:48
putting me with the best men
8:51
on Plantation I would have all the best
8:53
men I would have Denzel I would have I
8:56
would have uh just all the just the
8:58
gorgeous men and every nine months I
9:00
would be giving them Shaq Kobe
9:05
I would be the number one
9:13
and if you're really really good which I
9:15
am you can you can you can do this joke
9:18
and execute it and I was doing that joke
9:20
on stage and uh Owen Smith said Chris
9:23
Rock was standing there watching me do
9:24
the joke he pulled out his phone and
9:26
typed something in and Owen wouldn't ask
9:28
him he's like what you doing he was like
9:30
I'm putting on a funny person list and
9:32
wow maybe three days later he hit me and
9:35
he goes yo I just had dinner with Lauren
9:37
Michaels uh somebody's gonna be calling
9:39
you from SNL so you can go for audition
9:41
and I lost it I said are you [ __ ]
9:45
serious I said what the [ __ ] is wrong
9:47
with you this is how you help me this is
9:50
how you help me you give me a sketch
9:53
show [ __ ] I'm a stand-up what's
9:55
wrong with you you was tripping oh I
9:57
went off on him and he was like what
10:00
what are you talking about I was like
10:02
what the [ __ ] am I gonna do Chris I
10:03
don't have no damn characters I don't
10:05
have no characters the [ __ ] I'm gonna do
10:06
he was like shut up that's what you're
10:08
gonna do and you're gonna go do comedy
10:10
I'm not talking to you no more click
10:13
and I just went out and auditioned
10:15
foreign
10:20
[Applause]
10:22
I love it you know Leslie you got such a
10:25
great store you actually played
10:27
basketball right yeah yeah you went to
10:29
college just to let y'all know a lot of
10:30
people gonna be mad that I repeated that
10:32
slave joke and I'm just gonna let you
10:33
know black folks man come on
10:35
what was the pushback if the pushback
10:38
was oh Leslie oh man I don't know what
10:41
joke these people heard oh you call
10:43
black women [ __ ] oh you you it's
10:45
something about red oh I was like are
10:47
y'all not even looking at the Artistry
10:49
of what this joke is is like saying so
10:53
yeah just want to let you know just in
10:54
case you get your blow back she got a
10:56
new member I was called Leslie [ __ ]
10:58
Jones in case you in case you in case
11:01
you know please Leslie [ __ ] Jones
11:04
what
11:05
tell me about this moment you wanted to
11:07
shoot Whoopi Goldberg what is that oh my
11:09
God
11:10
one of the best sketches me and Keenan
11:15
came up with so when Keenan were going
11:17
to the office I was always smoking I was
11:19
always smoking weed so we were sick was
11:21
past tense
11:23
okay keep going damn I smoke bro get
11:28
going we was alcohol anyway sway
11:35
sway your ass
11:41
don't start nothing won't be nothing you
11:45
know I'm old enough to say that okay
11:46
please don't find that fat meat is
11:49
grease okay all right all right
11:54
so so me and Keenan were sitting in the
11:57
office and we were trying to write we
11:59
were just having fun and I said you know
12:01
I'm always playing whoopee wouldn't it
12:03
be funny if we brought whoopee in
12:05
because everybody thinks I look so much
12:07
like whoopee and but it's the real
12:09
whoopee and we put her at update desk
12:11
but Colin thinks it's me playing a trick
12:14
on him so I was going to sit at the I
12:17
was gonna sit at the desk and I think be
12:19
Whoopi and then we was going to switch
12:20
me out and then real Whoopi was going to
12:22
come in and everybody's going crazy and
12:24
then Colin's gonna be like okay Leslie
12:27
like you really did good this time but
12:29
we know it's you and I'm and then
12:31
Whoopi's gonna be like no Colin no it's
12:33
really me you know Leslie switched me
12:35
out we wanted to do this for fun this is
12:37
and and he goes no Leslie I know it's
12:40
you and she goes no I'm really whooping
12:42
Goldberg so he pulls out a gun and goes
12:44
oh yeah if you Whoopi Goldberg then plow
12:46
like like you know if you you know
12:49
and so he shoots him and here we go oh
12:53
now you're sure Whoopi Goldberg and then
12:55
it's like you know how you cut the like
12:57
and it goes and it comes back on all you
13:00
can hear is people running around oh my
13:02
God why would you shoot goofy go about
13:03
college
13:07
now we now at the time me and Keenan are
13:11
crying we're crying we think this is the
13:14
funniest thing we've ever wrote we go to
13:16
one writer Brian Tucker and we're
13:18
telling Tucker and we man dying we're on
13:20
the wall we're like oh they're gonna
13:22
love this and Chuck is sitting there the
13:24
whole time and he goes so you want to
13:26
kill Whoopi Goldberg on TV and we like
13:29
she's not really dead dude we're just
13:31
shooting her he was like so you want to
13:32
shoot whooping Goldberg on live TV wait
13:35
why you putting it like that it's it's a
13:37
joke he was like get out my office
13:41
all right all right you don't like it
13:43
the update team's gonna love it the
13:45
update going we went to update and we're
13:47
telling this story and they're just
13:48
sitting there and they're like
13:56
so I was like I'm taking this to Lauren
13:58
took it to Lauren and Lauren was like
14:00
we're not going to shoot Whoopi Goldberg
14:12
she thought it was hilarious Whoopi was
14:14
with it
14:17
we could have made history shooting
14:19
Whoopi Goldberg on TV it would have been
14:21
a New York best seller in one day thank
14:24
you one day
14:26
Leslie Jones is here man you got so many
14:29
stories man so many right so many you
14:32
got to do the movie the adaptation
14:36
Jones though whoopee right
14:41
[Laughter]
14:51
um how far did basketball go for you
14:53
just I played from the sixth grade until
14:57
my sophomore year in college but that's
15:00
when I I realized that I want to do
15:02
comedy I I was playing I was playing and
15:05
then got uh drafted to a division one
15:07
school and they didn't tell me what red
15:10
shirt really was and red shirt is that
15:13
you still do all the practices and
15:15
everything but you don't get to play in
15:16
the game and somebody should have told
15:18
me
15:20
because I'm not gonna do all this
15:22
[ __ ] plaque today and I don't get to
15:23
I don't get to get in the game oh I
15:25
became a oh I became a degenerate oh I
15:28
never went to class I was drinking it
15:32
was I was just having fun because my
15:33
coach knew I was lonely he made the
15:36
mistake of taking me to the black
15:37
student union oh
15:48
you're sweet
15:51
oh
15:52
I can have sex with cats
15:57
was so fine but the only thing about the
16:00
capitals was that they were all short
16:02
wow damn I never met a tall Capper never
16:05
I'm sorry what do you got Mike music
16:27
unless you're looking at a tall gnome
16:52
to [ __ ] on
16:54
[Applause]
16:55
it
16:59
we don't have no real status
17:03
have you ever seen um um uh what what
17:07
school days that [ __ ] is accurate
17:12
Leslie I got it thanks for breaking that
17:15
down last night Kappa Alpha cyber 30
17:17
Incorporated we have auxiliary
17:20
organizations one of our auxiliary
17:22
organizations are the fine women uh who
17:25
we do call Capital sweethearts and Kappa
17:27
diamonds and they are very supportive of
17:30
the brothers on the yard yes they is
17:31
it's a very good relationship we support
17:34
all y'all Leslie you guys have done some
17:36
great Community Services
17:50
yeah I supported a lot of them we are
17:52
fine gentlemen of Scholars okay and you
17:55
know what and when I was out the kappa's
17:58
like MC Hammer loved our kappas yeah
18:00
because our cappers could really dance
18:02
so he used a lot of them for his dancing
18:03
and stuff so yeah shout out to him kill
18:07
her in the game salute to see Hammer
18:08
deeper you got a question
18:10
really quick I used to do comedy but I
18:12
stopped because yes the love and the not
18:16
give up right yet exactly you mentioned
18:17
earlier what's your name Devin Dev like
18:20
Devin the Dude yeah oh I [ __ ] love
18:23
that name so did you quit because you
18:26
wasn't funny or was it no it just it was
18:28
I was doing jokes okay and I wasn't
18:30
really sure how to shape my own material
18:32
whether it be self-deprecating or
18:34
whatever the case may be but did that
18:35
not give a [ __ ] is very freeing right so
18:38
I kind of understood that after I had
18:40
already like I mean I'm not saying I'll
18:41
never go back to it but now that I know
18:43
the not give a [ __ ] is so uh crucial to
18:45
you going on stage and having the
18:47
confidence I just wondered if you could
18:48
expand on that because some people will
18:50
say a comedian not giving a [ __ ] could
18:53
be taken as
18:54
um you know you don't care about being
18:56
disrespectful you're gonna say whatever
18:57
people are too sensitive but some people
19:00
might also say a comedian is insensitive
19:01
if they say they don't give a [ __ ] can
19:03
you break that that down well first of
19:06
all I would never say a comic doesn't
19:08
give a [ __ ] that that's that's not not
19:10
what they got right to not give a [ __ ]
19:12
it's a
19:15
you have to have passion for what you
19:17
say in anything that you do so it's not
19:19
about because we do give a [ __ ] right
19:20
like we I know I give a [ __ ] when I get
19:23
on stage the the what you're looking at
19:25
is fearlessness
19:27
is which is different than not give a
19:29
[ __ ] see not give a [ __ ] is not give a
19:31
[ __ ] you don't care if you hurt people's
19:33
feelings you don't care if you insult
19:35
someone you don't care if you go up and
19:37
make people laugh now fearlessness is
19:40
going and doing it even when you're
19:41
scared but still doing it in the skill
19:44
that you respect even if you don't even
19:47
if the people are not laughing at you
19:48
and you know in your head that this [ __ ]
19:50
is right the fearlessness is what you
19:52
need to have not not not giving a [ __ ]
19:55
any comedian that tell you that they
19:56
don't give a [ __ ]
19:59
so I can go correct them because they
20:01
give a [ __ ] like I used to get mad at
20:03
d-ray when he would be like Oh I'm
20:04
coming off top of my head no you don't
20:06
do that because comedians don't need to
20:08
be coming off the top of your head
20:09
listen I tell all comedians look you can
20:12
be funny I was funny as [ __ ] when I
20:14
started but that did not stop me from
20:16
rehearsing yeah that did not stop me
20:18
from writing jokes continuously that did
20:21
not stop me from being in the mirror so
20:23
so when you're saying that you're doing
20:25
uh stuff that like where you just like
20:29
yeah this joke this Joker was you ever
20:30
talking about yourself it was usually
20:33
I'd say 90 of the time it was about like
20:35
my own material things that happened to
20:37
me stories or whatever that were
20:38
personal and then I would try to maybe
20:39
Implement jokey things around it which
20:42
is not the approach I wanted to go but
20:44
it was something that I was like well I
20:45
know how to do it this way yeah because
20:47
it's almost like not trusting what the
20:49
actual punch line is so so as I always
20:53
say when I'm writing if I make myself
20:54
laugh it's funny you know and to that
20:58
fearlessness would have let you do your
21:00
jokes how you originally wrote them you
21:03
would need to do the jokey joke at the
21:05
end that shit's just funny you know I
21:07
come up with a lot of stuff that I go
21:08
okay do I need to make this funny and
21:10
just honestly I say it like I first
21:13
think about it when I get on stage and
21:15
then see how it comes out because most
21:17
of the time you'll say it and that
21:19
should be funny as hell and you never
21:21
know it was gonna be like that and if
21:23
it's not funny as hell you got another
21:24
time to go on stage people take bombing
21:27
so seriously you take it so seriously
21:30
man yo think about think about this what
21:33
if Mike Tyson if he got hit in the face
21:35
every time he got hit in the face he
21:36
quit he would never be Mike Tyson you
21:39
gotta fall on the stage you got a bomb
21:41
you've got to bomb yeah you got to
21:43
you've got to know what that [ __ ] feels
21:45
like so so you care so you care when you
21:48
go on stage you should care because you
21:50
got people in the audience that's paid a
21:52
two drink minimum they're buying food
21:54
and you know what they feel like like
21:57
[ __ ] they feel like [ __ ] and that's your
22:00
job to make them laugh not make them
22:03
think not make them sit up and do
22:04
[ __ ] arithmetic problems oh well we
22:07
gotta solve the budget now no we don't
22:09
we let's laugh
22:13
that's the name of the book The Memoir
22:16
is called Leslie [ __ ] Jones it's out
22:19
tomorrow that's right
22:21
pre-order right now don't reorder right
22:24
now get it to you right right the next
22:26
day and uh the audio make sure you go to
22:28
audio audio and [ __ ] did you read the
22:31
audio man it ain't [ __ ] like the book
22:33
either I started reading it and then I
22:35
was like yo I know this story and just
22:36
threw the book out I think it might be
22:38
three sentences sentences from that
22:40
whole book I love on the audio so you
22:42
gotta get the book and the audios two
22:44
separate projects it really is it really
22:47
is hey Leslie I'm so happy we had you
22:49
today yes
22:55
come on come back anytime you ain't got
22:58
to be promoting
23:00
sweetheart okay Leslie Jones man y'all
23:04
follow her at last dog with a lot of G's
23:06
yeah
23:10
have nothing
23:12
left to say
23:15
[Music]
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