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My Girlfriend Was Assaulted… and Then Her Parents Blamed Her | Reddit Unheard Stories
Jul 8, 2025
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My Girlfriend Was Assaulted… and Then Her Parents Blamed Her | Reddit Unheard Stories
My girlfriend was assaulted at a party… and everything changed.
This is the story of how we faced trauma, betrayal, and impossible choices — together.
When Sarah told me she was pregnant… I didn’t know how to react. It wasn’t mine. And every moment reminded me of what she’d been through. But what made it even harder was discovering the cruel truth behind her decision to keep the baby: her religious, controlling parents were forcing her.
I was torn — between love and resentment, compassion and fear. Until one day, I saw the messages from her mom… and everything made sense.
💔 This is not just a story about a relationship — it's about:
The aftermath of sexual assault
Toxic family control
The pain of raising a child conceived from trauma
And the strength it takes to choose healing, together
We didn’t have all the answers, but we chose to stand by each other. Even when the world (and her own parents) turned their backs on her.
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0:00
My girlfriend Sarah was my world.
0:03
We were in college building a life
0:05
together filled with dreams of a future
0:07
that felt bright and limitless.
0:10
But then everything changed. She went to
0:13
a party that I had a bad feeling about,
0:15
one I'd encouraged her not to go to, and
0:18
there she was violated, roped. The first
0:21
time she told me she was pregnant, I
0:23
simply couldn't see it as a blessing in
0:25
disguise, as she called it. Every time I
0:28
looked at her, I saw what he had done to
0:29
her. I felt guilty for even considering
0:32
leaving, for not being strong enough.
0:35
But I honestly didn't feel comfortable
0:37
raising a kid that wasn't mine. I loved
0:40
Sarah. I truly did. But it just felt
0:43
like too much to bear. The weight of it
0:46
was suffocating. I drove over to my
0:48
friend Ryan's house. Ryan, bless his
0:51
heart, is the kind of guy who makes
0:53
everything a joke, even when you need
0:55
serious advice. I asked him what he
0:58
thought, what he would do in that
1:00
situation.
1:01
He just started with some silly, "If I
1:03
were Sarah or if I were you, and I
1:06
instantly regretted coming over." "I
1:09
didn't even know why I came over here,"
1:11
I muttered, knowing his usual antics.
1:14
But when I told him seriously how
1:16
utterly conflicted and overwhelmed I
1:18
felt, he shifted. He said it was up to
1:22
me and if I felt like it was too much to
1:24
handle, then to leave.
1:27
He added that he wouldn't stay, but then
1:30
confusingly said I should make the
1:33
decision based on our relationship.
1:35
I agreed and left his house feeling even
1:38
more conflicted with more questions than
1:40
I had before. On the car ride home, I
1:42
called up my other friend Jason, who I'd
1:44
met in our frat in college. We weren't
1:46
as close as we used to be, so I framed
1:48
it as a hypothetical situation. I think
1:51
he figured out soon enough it was my
1:52
reality. Jason was
1:56
different.
1:58
He's very pro-life, which I'd forgotten
2:01
until that moment.
2:02
He told me that he would stay if he
2:04
loved Sarah because she would already
2:06
have to deal with the aftermath of being
2:08
roped and I didn't want to add more
2:10
damage to the healing process.
2:13
He said he would stay for the sake of
2:14
the baby as well since kids that grow up
2:16
without fathers tend to be less
2:18
successful in life.
2:21
I just desperately needed some sort of
2:23
validation from someone, anyone.
2:26
By the time we said our goodbyes, I was
2:28
pulling back into my driveway.
2:31
I knew after talking to both my friends
2:33
that I would have to come to this
2:34
decision on my own. No one else could
2:37
make it for me. I walked inside the
2:39
house and asked Sarah if she had time to
2:41
talk. After she agreed, I told her my
2:44
feelings and how I felt about the whole
2:46
situation.
2:48
I told her how sorry I was that she was
2:50
experiencing this and how torn she must
2:53
feel about her trauma and the aftermath.
2:56
Sarah had grown up in a very religious
2:58
household. Her family would go to mass
3:01
at the Catholic church 3 days a week. I
3:04
knew what I was getting into when I
3:06
decided to be with her. So asking her if
3:08
she would be open to terminating the
3:10
pregnancy would be like pulling teeth,
3:12
and it was. After I proposed a
3:15
termination of pregnancy, she looked at
3:17
me as if I had asked her to throw
3:19
puppies into the fireplace.
3:21
She then told me that I already knew the
3:23
answer to that question. I tried to
3:26
explain that I didn't feel comfortable
3:28
raising a kid that was not mine and how
3:30
it could affect our relationship if she
3:32
kept the child.
3:34
She told me that if I had a problem with
3:36
raising the kid, then I wouldn't be the
3:38
one for her. She called me selfish for
3:41
wanting to leave after knowing what
3:43
she'd been through. I told her that I
3:45
would try my best to help her with
3:47
starting therapy and healing from the
3:48
incident, but a kid would change the
3:50
entire dynamic of our relationship. She
3:53
said she was done with this conversation
3:55
and stormed off into the bedroom. I sat
3:57
there feeling defeated, not knowing
3:59
where to go from there. I truly loved
4:01
Sarah and wanted the best for her, but I
4:04
was torn because I didn't want to stay
4:06
somewhere where I knew I would be
4:07
unhappy for the rest of my life. I
4:10
didn't think I could handle the weight
4:11
of the resentment. The weeks that
4:14
followed were an emotional roller
4:16
coaster.
4:18
Sarah and I would have amazing days.
4:20
We'd go on dates to our favorite spots,
4:23
then come home and just enjoy one
4:24
another's company.
4:27
But then after a while, Sarah would say
4:30
something about the baby or speak about
4:32
how she was going to miss times like
4:34
this after the baby was born,
4:37
and it would cause us to go through the
4:39
same argument we'd had the first night.
4:42
I'd tell her that she wouldn't have to
4:43
miss those times because we could just
4:45
get rid of the baby. Then she'd tell me
4:48
that I was being selfish again and to
4:50
just let her have this one thing. And it
4:53
would always end the same way. Sarah was
4:56
keeping the baby and there was nothing I
4:58
could do about it. After a few days, she
5:01
would think that I had forgotten the
5:02
argument or think that I agreed to be
5:04
with her since I didn't treat her
5:06
differently and things would go back to
5:08
normal
5:09
until again she'd bring up something
5:12
about the baby and we'd have that same
5:14
back and forth disagreement.
5:17
I just couldn't understand why Sarah,
5:19
who was 19 at the time, would want to
5:21
keep this baby.
5:23
Babies are crazy expensive. We were both
5:26
in college and had enough loans as it
5:28
was. A baby would only put us in more
5:30
debt. I understood the religious aspect
5:33
of it, but she never seemed that
5:35
interested in having any kids when we
5:36
met. What changed? What was I missing? I
5:40
went to bed that night, laid down in my
5:42
dark bedroom, and began thinking.
5:46
I needed to know what had changed in
5:47
Sarah and how we could move past it or
5:50
if we even could.
5:52
I decided the next day to go through
5:54
Sarah's phone. I know, I know it's not
5:58
the best thing I could have done, but
6:00
talking to her about the baby only ended
6:02
in arguments. I needed to know why she
6:05
wanted to keep the baby so bad. I saw
6:08
her text messages with her friend
6:10
Bridget. there. All I saw was a bunch of
6:12
cat memes and the occasional girl talk
6:14
about Bridget's dating life. They didn't
6:17
speak much about the baby.
6:20
Then I went through the rest of her most
6:21
recent texts. They were mainly messages
6:24
from Victoria's Secret or Bath and Body
6:26
Works with coupons. I felt hopeless
6:29
until I stumbled across the conversation
6:31
she had with her parents. I opened the
6:33
group chat and saw text messages from
6:35
her mom the night after the incident.
6:37
her mom texted her that she wouldn't
6:39
have got roped if she wasn't always
6:41
showing her belly button piercing and
6:43
how she told her that she always wanted
6:45
to go party with her friends and look at
6:47
where it got her. This text was as long
6:50
as the phone screen. She went on to say
6:53
that Sarah shouldn't be wearing the
6:54
makeup she does and how she's always
6:56
attracted attention from men since a
6:58
young age. Hence why the priest at their
7:01
old church had to step down. She blamed
7:04
her for looking too pretty and that she
7:06
tried to warn her about her promiscuous
7:08
ways. Later in the text, she told her
7:11
that she'd better keep it if she wanted
7:13
to make it to heaven. She said that
7:16
Sarah had done enough by acting like a
7:17
Jezebel and that the kid would help her
7:20
slow down. She ended the hatefilled text
7:23
by telling her that everything that
7:24
happened to her, she deserved it.
7:26
Sarah's reply wasn't there because I
7:29
assumed she called her mom or talked to
7:31
her in person. I checked her call log
7:34
and sure enough, 8 minutes after
7:36
receiving that horrific text message in
7:38
the group chat with Sarah and her
7:39
parents, Sarah had called her mom. At
7:42
that moment, Sarah walked into the
7:43
kitchen where I was reading her phone. I
7:46
swiped out of the messages, closed the
7:48
app, then locked her phone, and threw it
7:50
down on the kitchen table with a
7:51
quickness.
7:53
Without being able to fully process what
7:54
I had just read, I had to collect myself
7:57
fast. I greeted Sarah with a hug and a
8:00
kiss, trying to act normal. I could only
8:03
imagine the heartache she had been
8:04
through, not just from the incident
8:06
itself, but from her own mother's words.
8:09
I asked her how she was doing, trying to
8:12
be as compassionate as possible. I still
8:15
wanted to talk about the kid and her mom
8:18
and the incident, but I knew I couldn't
8:20
tell her what I knew without her knowing
8:22
that I went through her phone. She told
8:24
me she was making it, but I knew from
8:27
the bags under her eyes that she was
8:28
truly going through it. I asked her if
8:31
there was anything I could do to help
8:33
her, and she told me that breakfast
8:34
would solve all the problems in the
8:36
world right now. I chuckled and began
8:38
reaching for the fridge. The next couple
8:41
of weeks, I tried my best to take care
8:42
of her and to get her everything she
8:44
needed. The realization that she didn't
8:47
actually want the baby, but that her
8:49
parents were forcing her to have it
8:50
anyway, gnawed away at me. I hated that
8:53
she didn't have anyone to advocate for
8:55
her. But I also was torn in speaking on
8:57
the matter because I didn't want to
8:59
start an argument and stress her out
9:01
more. Or even worse, if she found out
9:03
that I went through her phone, I didn't
9:05
want to lose the trust that we had spent
9:07
so much time building together. One
9:09
night, after running her bath and
9:11
cooking her favorite meal, I decided
9:13
that I would ask her to talk to me. I
9:16
wanted to know the full truth from her.
9:19
After dinner, she asked, "What did I do
9:22
to deserve this treatment?" And I told
9:24
her, "For being the best girlfriend
9:26
ever," and we laughed.
9:29
I then cleared my throat and asked her
9:31
if she could talk. I could easily see
9:34
the expression on her face turn from
9:35
contentedness to skepticism.
9:38
She asked about what, and I told her
9:41
everything. I told her how I went
9:43
through her phone and saw the message
9:45
from her mom and how I knew that she
9:47
didn't really want the baby, but she was
9:49
trying to please her parents. And I told
9:51
her how I knew about the trauma from her
9:53
parents and how they blamed her for the
9:56
incident.
9:57
And I just wanted to know the full truth
9:59
from her perspective. After I finished
10:01
telling her everything, she began to
10:03
cry. I went over to console her and she
10:06
wept. She wasn't mad that I went through
10:09
her phone. It seemed like a buildup of
10:11
everything had just hit her at once.
10:14
From the incident, our relationship, her
10:17
parents, the baby, and balancing school.
10:20
She had crumbled.
10:22
Through her cries, she said she wanted
10:24
to leave the past behind her and that
10:25
this baby was a living reminder of what
10:27
had happened that one night at the
10:29
party. I reminded her that I was there
10:31
for her and that we would get through
10:33
this. She shook her head yes and held me
10:37
tighter.
10:38
I told her that we would terminate the
10:40
pregnancy if that's what she truly
10:42
wanted. And she again shook her head
10:45
yes. The next morning, I woke her up to
10:48
breakfast in bed and told her good
10:50
morning. She said good morning and we
10:52
began eating. I wanted to know if the
10:55
breakthrough we had the night before was
10:56
real or if she would let fear settle in
10:59
again. So after breakfast, I asked her
11:02
if what she said last night was what she
11:04
really meant.
11:06
She hesitated for a second and told me
11:08
that she was scared of what her parents
11:09
might do if they found out. I told her
11:12
that she wasn't under their roof
11:14
anymore, so it didn't matter and how
11:16
they'd been nothing but a toxic
11:18
influence on her life. She agreed and
11:21
grabbed her laptop. I asked her what she
11:23
was doing, and she said that she was
11:25
looking up places in the area to
11:27
terminate the pregnancy. We spent the
11:29
rest of the morning finding the right
11:30
place for Sarah. When we found one, we
11:33
called up there and got her an
11:35
appointment. I asked her how she was
11:37
doing mentally with everything and if
11:39
she had grown attached to the baby.
11:41
Sarah looked me in the eye and asked if
11:44
she could be honest. I told her
11:46
absolutely and she said that every day
11:48
she felt like she had a parasite growing
11:50
inside her that made her feel dirty. She
11:53
knew it wasn't the baby's fault, but she
11:56
could never love it as much as a mother
11:57
should love her child if she were to
11:59
follow through with the pregnancy.
12:02
After talking to me, she said she felt
12:04
relieved to get that off her chest. When
12:07
she tried to talk to her mom about it,
12:09
she felt guilty and was only met with
12:11
criticism. And when she tried to talk to
12:14
Bridget, it was the same way. Bridget
12:17
had grown up in the same church as
12:18
Sarah's family and practiced their
12:20
beliefs more faithfully than Sarah. Days
12:22
went by and eventually the appointment
12:24
was here. I drove Sarah to her
12:27
appointment and waited in the waiting
12:29
room. After the procedure was done, she
12:32
said she felt lightaded and a bit of
12:34
pain. So, I took her home and laid her
12:36
on the couch. I put on her favorite
12:39
cooking show and sat in the chair beside
12:41
her as she rested. Then, her phone
12:43
started ringing. The caller ID showed it
12:46
was her mother, and we both shared a
12:48
glance as it buzzed on the coffee table.
12:51
I asked her if she was going to pick it
12:53
up, and she said if she didn't, her mom
12:55
would call until she did.
12:57
She picked up the phone and her mom
12:59
asked her how she was doing. Sarah told
13:01
her she was fine, just a little
13:03
lightaded. Her mom asked why she was
13:06
lightheaded and was the baby okay. Sarah
13:09
got choked up and said she needed rest.
13:11
I didn't hear much on the other side
13:13
anymore except for her mom saying that
13:15
she was coming over and she hung up.
13:18
Sarah looked terrified. She didn't have
13:20
the courage to tell her mom that she had
13:22
just terminated the pregnancy. I offered
13:24
to tell the parents when they came over
13:26
and told her to go to the bedroom. When
13:28
they both showed up at the door, I
13:30
answered and they immediately asked for
13:32
Sarah. I told them she was resting, but
13:35
they demanded to see her. I told them to
13:37
sit in the living room for a talk. They
13:40
could tell from the tone of my voice
13:41
what the talk was going to be about, and
13:44
they were already furious.
13:46
They demanded to know how the baby was
13:48
doing and wanted to see Sarah. At that
13:50
instant, Sarah came into the living room
13:54
and they saw the painkillers from the
13:55
clinic on the kitchen counter. I stood
13:58
between them as they tried to spew
13:59
hatred at Sarah. They told Sarah that
14:02
she was a disgrace to the family and
14:04
that none of this would have happened if
14:05
she wasn't dressing like a Jezebel. I
14:07
told them to leave the house before I
14:09
called the police and that if they
14:11
showed up there again, they would get a
14:12
restraining order. I told them that the
14:15
only way that they would be allowed in
14:17
our lives again would be if they came
14:19
crawling back, begging for forgiveness.
14:22
They said they would never want anything
14:24
to do with sinners like us. And Sarah's
14:27
father guided him and his wife out of
14:29
the house.
14:30
A year later, we were sitting on the
14:32
balcony of our apartment enjoying the
14:34
sun of a Saturday morning. I heard our
14:37
doorbell ring and Sarah looked at me in
14:39
confusion because we were not expecting
14:41
any company today. I told her to stay
14:44
there and went to open the door. To my
14:47
surprise, it was her parents. They said
14:49
they missed their little girl and that
14:51
they wanted to make it right. Sarah,
14:53
with her compassionate heart, had
14:55
already forgiven them. But she also
14:57
understood that it would take years to
14:59
fix their relationship. So, they tried.
15:02
They started spending more time together
15:04
and they would come over for dinner and
15:06
even have us for dinner on weekend
15:07
nights. We'd play board games and catch
15:10
up, but the conversation would without
15:12
fail turn sour by the end of the night.
15:15
Her parents would say something that
15:17
would trigger her and it would end in an
15:19
argument and me and Sarah would have to
15:20
leave. Sarah was going to therapy, but
15:23
she wasn't completely healed from the
15:25
years of trauma that her parents had put
15:27
her through. And after multiple failed
15:29
attempts at rekindling a relationship
15:31
with her parents, she realized that the
15:33
damage was done and there was no way to
15:35
fix it. The months that followed, their
15:37
conversations were few and far between,
15:40
and eventually they lost contact. Me and
15:42
Sarah's relationship was great and felt
15:44
fulfilling on both of our ends, and we
15:47
knew we only needed each other to get
15:48
through life. This journey was one of
15:51
the hardest things we've ever faced.
15:54
From the initial shock and the difficult
15:56
conversations to uncovering the cruel
15:58
manipulation and finally standing up for
16:01
ourselves against overwhelming toxicity.
16:04
It taught us that true strength isn't
16:06
just about enduring, but about making
16:09
incredibly difficult choices to protect
16:11
your peace and your partner. It's about
16:13
recognizing when love needs boundaries
16:15
and when loyalty means fighting for
16:17
someone's autonomy. What are your
16:19
thoughts on Sarah's parents' actions?
16:22
How would you have navigated such a
16:23
difficult situation?
16:25
Share your insights and experiences in
16:27
the comments below.
16:29
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16:43
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16:45
and sometimes family tries to tear you
16:48
apart.
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