The Big Budget Robocop Remake Was Destined To Fail

This is Paul Verhoeven's seminal 1987 classic, RoboCop

And this is how everyone's favorite bipedal robotic juggernaut was handled in the remake

Needless to say, the film didn't treat old Detroit's favorite son much better

A production marred with false starts, studio intervention, and a revolving door of writers definitely isn't the ideal way to attempt a big-budget

reimagining of one of cinema's most beloved icons. Thank you for your cooperation

The original RoboCop was a searing critique of decaying social mores, corporate greed, and the weaponization and privatization of a police force

It was a takedown of the decade it was produced in, exploiting the hyperviolence and over-the-top excess of the time

to lampoon the very culture that was spawning it. However, after two less than stellar sequels

and 20 years of sporadic and weirdly low-budget attempts at TV show reboots

it was decided by MGM they needed to stop screwing around and finally revive RoboCop the right way

with a big budget reimagining from an iconoclast director. In July of 2008, almost 15 years to the day

after the failure of RoboCop 3 sent the franchise into a tailspin, Darren Aronofsky signed on to

helm a remake of Verhoeven's classic film. MGM had been working on this remake for close to three

years at this point, and a heavyweight director was what they needed to give the project some real

momentum. David Self, screenwriter of The Wolfman and Road to Perdition, was signed on to write the

script. At the time, Aronofsky is quoted as saying, it's a real reinvention. Me and David Self are

are working on the screenplay and we trying to do something new and fresh MGM was full steam ahead They wanted to make Robocop happen by any means necessary They were so committed to the idea in fact they started making promotional material before any actors were cast or concept art was even created

In order to get positive buzz building about the film, they produced this poster for a licensing expo

However, things didn't go as smoothly as everyone was hoping with Aronofsky

He and the studio ran into conflict after conflict. One of the primary sticking points

was the fact that the studio wanted to exploit the post-Avatar rise in 3D films

and Aronofsky was not enthusiastic about that prospect. They also apparently weren't in total agreement about Aronofsky's reimagining

of everyone's favorite T.J. Laser impersonator. My son Jimmy watches this cop show T.J. Laser

and this laser guy does this every time he takes down a bad guy, so naturally my kid thinks every good cop should be..

And you don't want to disappoint? The film was said to be set 3,000 years in the future

with humanity having lost the idea of morality, and the only way they could regain it was by learning from RoboCop's protocols

Needless to say, this version of the RoboCop remake faltered and eventually bit the dust

due to the MGM bankruptcy in 2010. The studio just did not have the money to spend on the film

thus Aronofsky went off to make Black Swan. By mid-2011, there was still no news about Aronofsky's RoboCop

and MGM, now out of their legal quagmire, wanted to move quickly

They brought in Brazilian filmmaker Jose Padilla to fast-track the project. He was given the studio remit of producing a faithful, more conservative remake of the

original RoboCop story. MGM wanted to make sure they had the recognizable elements of a RoboCop film in place before

giving it a green light. Any special message for all the kids watching at home

Stay out of trouble. They were so serious about making something that stayed true to the original feeling of

RoboCop, they brought back its creators and original screenwriters, Ed Neumeier and Michael

Miner. They worked, along with Quantum of Solace writer Joshua Zatoumer, to build a contemporary

version of the RoboCop story They incorporated a more Steve Jobs take on the head of OCP and included vague allusions to the socio climate of the day like half jabs at Fox News the war in Afghanistan and the Patriot Act

A majority of senators have voted in the affirmative. The Dreyfus Act has been repealed

Despite trying to be faithful to the spirit of the original film by updating its targets to contemporary cultural elements

it does nothing to really differentiate itself. The film is being made in reaction to both the original Verhoeven film

and its previous incarnation of the big swing version that Darren Aronofsky was trying to make

It's a movie that feels self-conscious. It lacks the energy and gonzo sociopolitical commentary

to the degree that would really be honorific of RoboCop. The sociopolitical overtones of the film are there because it's a RoboCop movie

not because it actually has anything to say. Is the film all bad

No, aside from Robocop himself, played by Joel Kinnaman, the cast is stellar

Sam Jackson, Michael Keaton, and a virtual army of interesting performers grace the screen

Jackie Earl Haley was hot off an Oscar nomination and his appearance in Watchmen

But like most of the other actors, he doesn't have enough to do. On paper, everything you want out of an epic Robocop adventure is there

Robotic suits, ED-209, and an individual's search for identity. However, it doesn't have anything new to add to the cop-turned-robot-god idea of the original film

The film is rated PG-13. This is another perfect example of why the film lacks the from-the-gut oomph the original has in spades

They don't really explore or push any of the new elements in the script. Take, for example, that you legally need to have a police officer with a human hand

in order to be able to fire a gun in an altercation, something that's introduced early in the film

That's why 72% of Americans will not stand for a robot pulling the trigger

It could be used to explore the culpability of the individual soldier in the war on crime

How policing in a world of drone warfare and post on terror surveillance is being augmented and evolved in ways no one is expecting How does that manifest in the finished film The killer police rubato guy doesn wear a glove on his right hand so

you can see it's a human hand. Nothing about his human hand is even paid off in the climax of the

film. If you set up in Act 1 that this invulnerable character has one element of his human body still

remaining, it should probably be used as a weakness or factor into the climax of the story in some way

right? Jose Padilla has said repeatedly that he tried to expand the scope of the film

but the MGM execs in charge of the production were extremely risk-averse. Upon its release

the film was marginally financially successful, pulling in close to $250 million, but it was

critically lambasted and not embraced by the fans of the franchise. At the time, the film was seen

as a nadir of the mid-2000s remake trend. What many film fans viewed as the perfect movie in the

original did not need a remake at all, let alone a clumsy PG-13 CGI fest. This is a perfect example

of a ton of smart people from different creative disciplines getting together and attempting to

recapture magic. Unfortunately, you just can't, especially when you're trying to both be your own

thing and mimic one of the most successful action films of all time. That's just not how genuine

inspiration works. Tragically, RoboCop is now closer to the thing he was commenting on

than a true vigilante fighting corporate greed like he was always intended to be

He's an asset on MGM's profit and loss sheets. And now with Amazon buying MGM

it's arguably the most bleak aspect of all of this. The real-world equivalent of OCP owns Alex Murphy

The RoboCop remake failed because there's no good way to make a film under the pressure cooker

of corporate surveillance and second-guessing. RoboCop deserved better. There's plenty of room for new RoboCop stories

He's a character that, while deeply rooted in the time period that he was created

is capable of being the protagonist of timeless stories that enthrall generations

Hopefully, next time Alex Murphy graces the silver screen, he'll have us all saying

I'd buy that for a dollar