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The original Space Jam wasn’t exactly a cinematic masterpiece, but it became a cultural icon thanks to perfect timing, Looney Tunes chaos, and the unstoppable legacy of Michael Jordan.
So when LeBron James stepped into the Tune Squad for Space Jam: A New Legacy, it felt like a slam dunk. Instead, it became one of the most confusing, cynical, and joyless legacy sequels ever made.
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This is Space Jam, and this is Space Jam A New Legacy
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Look, we can all be honest, most of the love for the original film comes from the fact that
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it was tied to an almost fever-pitched cultural obsession with Michael Jordan
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It's not that great of a work of art. Conversely, there's got to be some fun in taking LeBron James and running him through similar paces, right
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He literally shares the number 23. Can't we do something with that? If anything, it shouldn't be that hard to make a Space Jam movie that actually has a quality story, right
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Wrong. Somehow, Space Jam 2 did the impossible. It's definitively worse than the original
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You ain't got nothing on me, bro. Space Jam A New Legacy is one of those movies where you spend the entire runtime just asking
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yourself, what went wrong here? On paper, this should be a fun children's film romp. LeBron has
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been in the spotlight since he was 18 years old. He has an amazing court presence, previous on-screen
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experience, and a public persona that's easily identifiable. And yet, literally none of that
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makes it to the screen. The film is a mushy and cynical mess. LeBron isn't even in the whole movie
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He's literally just an animated character for a good third of the runtime. How did this movie fail so gloriously when the original isn't all that great to begin with
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Well, believe it or not, there were actually multiple attempts at making a Space Jam sequel prior to A New Legacy
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One of them was going to star NASCAR phenomenon Jeff Gordon and be titled Race Jam
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Another was going to presumably have another genius pun title and star legendary golfer Tiger Woods
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However, the right concoction of on-screen talent and studio enthusiasm never seemed to manifest
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Not even the great Tony Hawk could grab the brass ring of a green light. His sequel was reportedly going to be titled Skate Jam Ultimately all of that struggle and unfulfilled kinetic energy can be felt behind the scenes of Space Jam A New Legacy The entire film feels simultaneously completely unnecessary and also noted to death by an army of vampire fanged corporate executives
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Look at him. Look at that face. He's speechless. He loves it
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It's so obvious that LeBron did not view this movie as anything other than a commercial endeavor
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There's almost no part of his real story housed within the shambling husk of a film
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Even his literal family is erased from the narrative. The film opens with a young LeBron James being gifted a Game Boy and being scolded for being distracted from the game of basketball, which will inevitably change his life
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We jump to modern day and we see the adult LeBron, now a globally recognized superstar
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He has a young son named Dominic who is designing video games of his own. In this first act, LeBron takes on a stern and scolding parent role
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This isn't how you want to see an exaggerated version of him. You want to see him dunking, laughing, and sinking three-pointers
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But the movie skips over all of that. It just assumes you absolutely know who he is
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When you go see a movie about LeBron James teaming up with the Looney Tunes to presumably fight some sort of alien-themed basketball team
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you want it to be fun. This movie doesn't care about that at all
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He's a stern stick-in-the-mud for the majority of the interminable two-plus-hour runtime
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Outside these lines, be as loony as you want. But inside, you do what I say
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The main thrust of the film centers on LeBron embarking on a fetch quest
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through the Warner Brothers Archive of Intellectual Property. Shock of all shocks, LeBron's son gets tronned into a fictional digital world
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and the GOAT has no choice but to try and rescue him. This is, on its face, a blatant attempt at cribbing the financial and cultural weight
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of the nostalgia boom of the late 2010s and tying it to Space Jam
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The only problem being, the movie has nothing to say about that other than
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hey, remember these things that you used to like? Which the viewers of this movie, who are theoretically children, absolutely do not
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Does a nine-year-old who would be interested in watching Space Jam A New Legacy even know what The Matrix is
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In its very base form we here to watch a movie about LeBron James teaming up with the Looney Tunes But then there this weird father story that paints LeBron as the bad guy this insane nostalgia play which is fundamentally flawed
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And then, to add insult to injury, you have to watch Don Cheadle die inside, on repeat
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This man was nominated for an Oscar, and he's basically playing a clown for two hours
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This makes you feel all insignificant, don't it? The end result of this cinematic trash pile
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amounts to a little less than a middling journeyman director jingling a pair of keys at a newborn baby
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The weirdest aspect of Space Jam A New Legacy is that it doesn't understand what to do with LeBron
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The Looney Tunes also don't have any significant character development or plot function
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They're barely the co-stars of the movie. The real co-stars are the bevy of Warner's controlled IPs that are littered throughout the film
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which is as depressing as it is befuddling. The film features a pat and corrosive arc where LeBron learns to be less of a stick in the mud
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and enjoy basketball again while also reconnecting with his son. If you're not careful, you might cut yourself on the jagged edges of its cynicism
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protruding from every angle of this 24 frames per second abomination. To make things even more bizarre, the member berries that the film is trafficking in
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aren't even the actual pieces of intellectual property that are so foundational to our culture
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Instead, they are stand-ins for them, literally. In the climax of the movie, the Toon Squad face off against the newly remixed Goon Squad
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There's a big CGI court and loads of characters from different movies. It should be super fun
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This is your Ready Player One visual extravaganza. We've got King Kong and the Iron Giant
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and the cast of Clockwork Orange standing next to each other. Wow, so impressive, right
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Well, when you squint, you see that these characters are people dressed as those characters
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like literal cosplayers. Have you ever wanted to see Burt Ward's Robin cheer and boo
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while standing next to Arnold Schwarzenegger's Mr. Freeze? Well, now you can. It's so distracting, you almost physically can't pay attention
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to the already dreadful schlock oozing out of the television screen. It really should be the death rattle for an entire era of nostalgia, trademarked
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But because we live in a cruel and unforgiving world, that can't happen
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No matter how hard it begs to be put out of its misery You gonna be all right You gonna be all right Please just kill me At the end of the day Space Jam A New Legacy is about a decade too late
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This movie should have come out when LeBron was in his prime, either around his championships in Miami
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or his return to Cleveland. It's less a movie than a bundle of failed promises
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duct taped together with goodwill and the cultural relevancy of LeBron James
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Space Jam A New Legacy had ostensibly a blank slate. All you really have to do is just show LeBron
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playing basketball and having fun. The former is there in slick CGI drenched spades
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the latter completely neglected. In a movie like this, maybe leading with the youthful exuberance and joy of playing basketball
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is a good idea. However, seemingly no one within a 10-mile radius
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of the camera has ever even touched a basketball, let alone understands why it's beautiful
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In many ways, this feels like those previously mentioned vampire-fanged executives were seeing
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if they could pull a fast one on the American people. Could they release a film with almost no effort
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put into it. A charitable perspective on this acidic dog and pony show is that it's performance
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art. This idea is just straight up bad. That algorithm is busted. A more realistic assessment
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is that it's a money laundering scheme cooked up with the Sinaloa cartel. The good bad news is that
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this craven effort didn't really work. The film only barely made its $150 million budget back
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so sorry El Chapo. The most depressing part of all of this is that it doesn't even seem to have
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had the intended consequences. Kids don't seem to like this movie at all. Sure, if you've got a
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developed prefrontal cortex, this movie is like injecting unfiltered regret into your bloodstream
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but many adults haven't understood films made for children before, and they've eventually evolved
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into classics down the road. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Willy Wonka, and even The Phantom Menace
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have all been culturally reappraised. Only time will tell if this film gains a new legacy
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I'll never erase what I saw from my brain! However, I'd be shocked if that happens
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In fact, I'd be willing to put money into one of those scammy gambling sites that sponsor the NBA now
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just to prove it. I bet there's nothing shady going on there, but that's a story for another time