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Overcoming Elite Child Sex Slavery & Pedophilia - Part 2 Anneke Lucas - SOTTOTITOLI-SUBTITLES
Feb 18, 2025
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In this 4 part series, we speak with Anneke Lucas as she describes her riveting story of growing up as a sex slave to high profile politicians. She reveals how things operate, her in depth story, and an incredibly important underlying message of global healing we can all go through as the widespread reality of this becomes more clear to humanity.
In questa serie in 4 parti, parliamo con Anneke Lucas mentre descrive la sua avvincente storia di crescita come schiava sessuale di politici di alto profilo. Rivela come funzionano le cose, la sua storia approfondita e un messaggio sottostante incredibilmente importante di guarigione globale che tutti noi possiamo attraversare mentre la realtà diffusa di questo diventa più chiara per l'umanità.
da https://cetv.one/programs/elite-pedophilia-sex-rituals-anneke-lucas?cid=540174
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0:06
okay so just a recap on part one annika began talking about the early journey of how
0:12
all of her involvement in the child uh sex slavery began when she was
0:18
in belgium a couple of the little things that are interesting just to mention is that you know a lot of times as people get
0:24
into this stuff like or pushed into it or even looking at some of the people that are involved
0:30
we start to realize it's not like there's typically much of a choice and it's not like sometimes it doesn't just
0:35
go from you're not in it to your fully in it sometimes it's a process that unfolds that slowly sort of you know sort of tinkers
0:42
people into the entire process which happens on both ends of this entire thing and as annika is going to discuss
0:49
as we further get into her story there's going to be incredibly important nuances that she's had the wisdom to
0:55
to understand and to reflect on that are very important for us as viewers to this to understand so
1:01
please pay close attention to the stuff that she shares in this next part and again be sure to stick around because this does get pretty heavy as we
1:08
get into this and we're gonna you know kind of go through a little bit of a meditation at the end of this so that we can make sure
1:13
that we process the various feelings that are coming up i'd like i'd like to take us back to the story
1:20
yeah because it's not done the chronology yes so chronologically so that was
1:27
that american man who dumped me there in germany and then
1:33
somehow he must not have spoken to the leader of the network maybe he felt it as a
1:39
personal failure i don't know but he didn't say anything so i was still used in the network in
1:46
belgium but i was never taken um so i i never saw the american again but
1:53
somehow the experiences had given me some as a child there some kind of reputation
2:01
with the the leader there who now started to use me every time
2:07
there was a visit from vips so i um
2:14
i was so i was used so i have recognized a lot of
2:21
world leaders visible or not so visible but i found a lot of
2:29
very easy to find right
2:35
and then when i was 10
2:42
someone came in at an orgy very different came with his father was
2:48
taken there for the first time by his father who
2:53
was clearly trying to get in with the cr with the vips
3:00
and he um asked for me again there was something
3:06
that happened i defied him he he he was only 20 years old
3:14
so i was very curious when i saw him first because very out of place there were no 20 year olds there
3:19
right and there were only very few children i should say the children were like the most
3:27
valued commodity and we were brought in often later you know it was it was it was not like
3:33
there's an orgy and there's the children to be used no it was all very organized
3:39
the children would be brought in i was often waiting with a handler
3:44
in another room for quite a while and then we were brought in and then
3:51
i often had to make the men feel comfortable
3:57
on the new ones [Music] and um and that was filmed
4:04
or or photographed secretly and was it and partly about blackmail or
4:11
the potential blackmail that was part of part of that matter yeah sure
4:19
and no one ever said no
4:24
200 men or something wow i mean i guess they got there in the
4:32
first place so they were that's what i realized much later you know when i was a child i was always
4:37
thinking well the next man who's going to come in he's going to say i'm not doing you know but so i was really kind of always surprised
4:46
that they would that they would because i also i didn't look older i was first of all i was very
4:52
young i was six and a six to eleven but i always just looked exactly my age
4:57
and i was small so there was no question like it's not like well maybe 16 no not
5:03
at all you were 10 at this point yes and um so the 20 year old
5:12
came and made some snide comment to me now you little whore you like your job because i smiled at
5:19
him so now by this time i was so attuned
5:24
again now i'm just doing what feels comes naturally i don't even know but
5:29
i'm saying um you think i like it here and i was very angry which usually there was sometimes
5:37
there was a a way to express anger but it was always in that in that dynamic
5:42
in having to do with what this man likes right specifically sexually and you were like
5:48
usually accommodating them and what they were looking for in this case you were clearly being defiant
5:54
i was defined because he likes defiance and he liked defiance
5:59
and and he was shocked he was also young it was his first time that is brought
6:05
there um he was completely shocked and when i
6:10
saw him um i just got the sense of him like it was a very strong feeling i had when i
6:16
just saw him walking and i thought he's too hurt he's
6:21
young and he's too hurt that was my feeling but i had a lot of feeling for this
6:28
person just seeing him and so then he went in to the
6:35
boss of the network and just in the group just went to the group and just asked for me it's just very unorthodox
6:41
like you you didn't just go and ask you know it wasn't like this is a brothel i want that one right right
6:48
that was not really how it was done it's usually top down like sneaky or subtle or whatever
6:55
with a knot or whatever but not just like hey you know i want
7:01
um so so meaning you actually saw him going
7:06
yeah yeah okay yeah there was a an orgy and uh there was another man who had been
7:12
sitting with me um
7:17
so he went and asked for permission being young being 20 experienced with
7:23
the the knotting and then the winking also he didn't care right and he didn't care because he had a gun
7:28
and he wasn't afraid to use it and that's why he was respected in the circles because he was
7:34
um because he killed okay so he um
7:39
he took me to a room and he we were taken by a handler who who um
7:47
was very pissed off at having to be the gopher but he took me to a beautiful
7:53
room in this small castle where we were in belgium near brussels and he didn't touch me
8:01
and he basically just stood there and said you know what you want to do
8:07
and i thought well i kind of want to go to sleep that was my thought but i didn't think i could say that but
8:16
he didn't touch me he didn't touch me for six months and because he wanted it to come from me
8:23
and then he also protected me and he also
8:28
i had my first therapy sessions with him
8:33
where he was kind of trying to find out about the network and so i was starting to open up to him
8:40
and i i told him certain things but not everything but i did tell him
8:45
about the sacrifice boy who was sacrificed i that was the first time i shared about
8:51
it and i cried and he was just listening he wasn't really emotional at all he was just
8:59
listening but i felt as like once again there's a father figure and he's listening to me
9:04
and 11 to 20 that's a no it doesn't matter if you're a sex slave i did not feel like is equal at
9:11
all right it didn't make 20 or the older gentleman didn't make too much difference from that point of
9:18
view yeah it made some right i guess well it was better looking
9:24
a lot better looking so that was better but no and then also he was very tall
9:30
six foot over six feet so he was sort of getting a lay of the
9:36
land and he was particularly interested in the the boss the cabinet minister he wanted to know about him
9:44
uh who was very sadistic oh and i shared certain things again but always very careful i was
9:50
always very careful i was and i also knew that once you're protected
9:56
this is very dangerous when you're protected because then you get this other status and what it happened before you know i
10:03
was favored and also now
10:09
i talked about this but children were getting killed children were getting killed and i was
10:14
you know the body that i saw the first day that was not the only body that i saw and i
10:19
and the boy was not the only boy that i saw killed
10:25
so children were getting killed there were seven children the time five years that i was there
10:32
seven children personally witnessed i know that these
10:38
things were going on but i was around or personally witnessed
10:45
seven children and i knew
10:52
that when you are favored by a perpetrator there's always
10:59
a danger that when he drops you that you're going to be killed
11:05
because you become a problem or you may become a problem
11:10
so i knew that it was very it was always very very careful it's not like annoying too much sort of
11:18
problem that you know them too well and um yes you have information on them and their
11:25
vulnerabilities and they feel right like the american right they've
11:30
they've made themselves vulnerable to you so now you may know too much i think so i think so i've heard another
11:37
survivor say that it was because they were afraid you would then go and talk because you were jealous or you were upset but i
11:46
always had questions about that maybe maybe that too maybe there's there was always certainly the fear that we would go and talk
11:54
but in reality no one wanted to hear anyway so i'm not sure they were very
12:00
very blatant and sort of the fact of the extreme nature
12:06
of what they were doing was the best the best coverage no one would believe it right
12:12
and and we've you know we were living in at that time that was the time that was
12:18
like nobody could possibly believe it and now we're just creeping up on a time where people are starting to be willing to
12:24
fathom and again that's why you know what you have to say is so important
12:30
right thank goodness that this is a time because um
12:36
it'll be very difficult never to be able to be heard yeah but i didn't expect
12:43
when i didn't expect to be heard i should say that because i wasn't heard for many many years
12:49
the norm was that i was not gonna be heard and that i just feel like i didn't actually have
12:55
a lot of situations because i would just feel that this person is not they're not gonna they're not gonna hear
13:01
it so don't even don't even go there uh so i spoke very little about it
13:07
even many therapists don't really believe it
13:12
so and i did have a therapist once say that they didn't believe me
13:21
wow yeah um but um
13:28
so first of all this was a dangerous man he was like me but he was dangerous or
13:35
he respected me because i defied him
13:46
and after six months well i did start it but i started it because my mother got
13:55
got in between a little bit she got all excited about she got all excited about this when she
14:02
saw him in passing she was picking me up and he was dropping me off literally so she saw him she got all excited
14:12
and i he had started to tell me that my mother was no good
14:22
offering himself as you know the better the better substitute right
14:30
so i told her she was no good and then she
14:35
she started she wanted to punish me and um
14:42
you know she had no boundaries so i was severe she stopped giving me food basically no
14:48
more food and then i was
14:54
getting taken to a place where this this gangster never was i was still
15:00
being abused getting well it took about a month a month of no food
15:05
and i was actually i was i would steal some food when i could but she wasn't feeding me and
15:18
and then something something occurred something strange occurred with a girl
15:26
who was the daughter of the contact person the countess who was the contact person
15:31
who called my mother up was basically telling her where to bring me the girl that you were in school with a
15:37
girl that i was in school with so this girl was also abused in the network
15:45
even though she wasn't a slave but she was but she was from the
15:51
bloodline she was aristocratic but she was being abused
15:57
publicly also with these orgies and she had been abused by by her father
16:03
when she was very little that's clear and this girl
16:11
so it was difficult with her because we were friends in regular life and then in the network
16:18
not so much so for me if i didn't have
16:25
the men like me then i would always be gotten rid of and that always meant
16:30
death for her it didn't really mean that but it was always difficult with her because there was a lot of
16:37
i i didn't think i was competitive but it was competition i think yeah
16:44
and envy and i don't think she had a sense of her innocent self either you know i
16:50
think she had been abused very early on and she had actually there was a physical evidence
16:56
of it because the first time she brought me to her house she played a sexual game that we played
17:01
a sexual game and so she put a pencil up her vagina we
17:07
were three years old she put a pencil up her vagina went all the way up
17:12
so i tried didn't go up and i didn't understand so she had already her hymen had already
17:18
been broken so in retrospect i realized that even at age three she'd already been raped
17:26
so she was very much
17:32
uh in need of the male attention in in a way like taking that is like that's the only
17:38
thing i've got that's that's it and um and so i was i stood in her way
17:45
and she she set up a rape with boys from the outside
17:52
she she set me up to get raped she was there she led me to the place and then left and
17:58
then these three boys were there to rape me
18:04
and one of the and there's more to this it was all very complex it was about a very specific thing that she was
18:10
doing that for it had had to do with finding out that there was no sex but i
18:17
wasn't getting raped by the gangster by the young man that all the girls
18:24
wanted you know because he was good-looking so she found i had revealed that information to her
18:33
so she was going to get me raped
18:40
um maybe show me what i was missing or
18:46
some but it was clearly about that it was in response to that and one of the boys who was there
18:54
who raped me he was 14 and he i connected with him and he was
19:02
sorry afterwards and he wanted to see me again and we you
19:08
know he apologized and he wanted to take care of me and he
19:14
got rid of the other boys and i connected very deeply with this 14 year old boy who seemed really big to me
19:19
again i was just around my 11th birthday now
19:24
um so that had happened and so and then i had been raped
19:33
again but i hadn't been raped for six months in the network and then i was taken to this other place by my mother
19:40
where again i didn't think i found out later the man who raped me
19:45
there was a high place official in a world power
19:54
never thought to even look him up until you know it just dawned on me just oh and there he was
20:04
but once i saw the this gangster again um i gave myself to
20:10
him i felt so guilty that i had liked somebody else and i
20:16
gave myself to him and um once it's as soon as that started he started his
20:23
the play playing out of his trauma that had made him you know the killer that he was so that
20:30
was very extreme the abuse was very extreme the betrayals were very extreme and
20:36
there was a big lead up because there was you know even though i was cautious i was also
20:42
you know i didn't have a lot of options and when i came to love
20:47
there was a lot more reflection there than i was getting at home for example he was seeing things that
20:53
were not being seen he saw and there was a sense of humor intelligence that and beauty that all
21:01
things that my mother never reflected so there was a lot there that i needed
21:07
so there was a lot of attachment and then the abuse was extreme extreme physical abuse
21:15
um slept with my mother in front of me
21:20
just completely
21:31
stabbed me
21:37
and took me to the south of france to have me heal from this time because it was he meant it as a romantic thing so that
21:45
i would have something to remember him by so he stabbed me in the back of the knee and
21:50
that's he had a slight limp he had he had been stabbed in the back of the knee at one point
21:58
so he perpetuated his trauma onto me
22:05
and um kind of like a blood bond yeah feeling like well
22:12
like all abusers but more intensely there's a
22:19
this there's always a there's always a contract even though
22:24
you're a child i mean i'm speaking contract in maybe the psychic sense right there's the contract
22:29
because the the abusers are always looking at some kind of a part of themselves right a part that
22:37
they need to reject or a part that they need to vilify or need to think is dirty it's
22:43
all about you know what they have to shun from their own consciousness
22:48
that they are afraid is there and they're afraid that it's there because it has one time
22:54
been imposed and so that child self becomes i become the physical
22:59
representation of that aspect of themselves so with him
23:04
it was just elongated and it was just very intense of his own i mean
23:11
he stabbed me in the backs of the knees twice once it was this romantic thing
23:19
and he took me to the south of france and on the mediterranean and had time there to heal and the second
23:26
time it was in anger and
23:33
he started to reveal little by little because he was still young enough his own trauma that that was what he
23:41
actually stabbed me in the back of knees in the same house that it had happened to him in his parents house where he was living
23:47
by his father who had found him with his mother
23:54
in bed and blamed him because he was already raping his son
24:01
so he was getting raped by both parents separately and when his father found him and his
24:07
mother he ran after him and wanted to kill him and maimed him
24:14
and then that father literally drove him to his first um
24:22
what's it called uh like bank bank robbery like he drove his son to the bank yeah
24:29
yeah and then he was caught he got caught he robbed the bank
24:34
actually tried to rob the bank he did he did he robbed the bank he was caught and his father was also
24:40
caught but his father was let off and he went to jail so this father was constantly making his
24:47
son wanted his son to be the bad guy very badly obviously and he could be the good the good guy
24:55
layers sorry there's a lot of layers there i got very deep with this person it is
25:01
something he's the one that rescued me right
25:07
so it had reached its zenith i was supposed to be killed that's the
25:14
final you know rejection and [Music]
25:19
he rejected me i was in the house this was the house it was the house of the boss of the network who was there
25:27
it was the early stages of an orgy there were children there but it was not in that context yet
25:34
it was early there were just a few people there but
25:39
i was taken to a handler he was an important person he was always the middle man he was not just like the
25:45
other ones he was sort of in charge of the other ones hobnobbing with the big shots that he was a businessman
25:55
so i was delivered to him and he started to
26:03
to you know he was sort of happy he could finally get i was always
26:08
a problem i was always considered a problem for
26:15
speaking up or you know that's not following perfectly alone so he was happy to be
26:21
rid of me and so the first thing he did is he grabbed me by the hand like that and then he
26:27
he put out a cigarette on my on my arm so that's this this scar here when
26:35
i stretch my arm out it becomes like a line but it was he had grabbed me this way and then
26:41
put out the cigarette oh it was more here then and as this happened
26:48
the gangster is standing there and he's laughing at me
26:53
like don't count on me and i was once again you know taken over by
27:00
some higher power and i just straightened myself i never felt this happen my consciousness was
27:06
just completely merging with his and the thought was i don't need you
27:12
and it was completely locked again in this energetic lock with this
27:19
person and i saw him being very um like the first time he was moved there
27:26
was and i thought i'd gotten through but i was which now which person are you talking so i'm being
27:32
i'm being tortured by one man yes but the gangster's standing there yeah
27:37
and he's looking at me and he's laughing and that's the person i'm connecting with
27:42
while i'm being tortured and i'm not feeling the torture there's been some confusion about that yeah so he so he was kind of
27:51
said i don't need you anymore and i said that but then yeah this is when you told him
27:57
oh well he was was much worse than that yeah he rejected me
28:04
i mean it was all repetition it was even things
28:09
that didn't make sense like how he was yelling at me when he was rejecting me when he was
28:14
kicking me out of the room that we were in it was strutting he was talking about
28:22
strutting which is something that he did he said it was an arrogant whore there was nothing worse than an arrogant whore
28:28
there's these things that he was saying though that were at one point he used a male term you know he was just like
28:34
repeating um but i felt it definitely i took it
28:40
and i felt it um but then then he was present there and he was
28:46
laughing like don't count on me and then i shot back and i defied him once again
28:51
and this again this defiance touched him and he um well i was taken away
29:00
i was taken away so there was one adult and then there were children the children were made to take me and i
29:07
was so my i don't remember how i my clothes were taken off but my i was
29:14
taken naked to so this politician who's the boss of the
29:20
network there was a room in his house a small room that had a very large
29:25
butcher's block this too made sense later on when i
29:31
found out when i found out how this man had started up it made sense that he would
29:37
have a butcher's block so there's a butcher a large butcher's block and that had straps in it and i
29:42
was strapped onto this butcher's block now there's one adult there who really wants me to suffer
29:49
and then there's four i keep thinking four or five but i think it was four children that were there
29:55
the girl the daughter of the aristocrat she was originally there but she was not in the room so the
30:03
the four children who were there were not there not part of the family so they were being indoctrinated so
30:10
they were being made to do this so that they would become numb and used
30:16
to and feel like their perpetrators their guilty so they were made to torture me
30:25
and i got very very high
30:32
right away um and i got in some i'd had a lot of
30:39
help spiritually over the years things that happened and i'd seen light
30:44
and i'd had reassurances and benign feeling
30:50
and benign presence and very loving presence so there's a lot of help and there too just
30:57
immediately i was completely high and i could just see everything as
31:02
energy and every you know there was just energetic forms and i was completely blissed out yes
31:12
for a while for a while in the beginning so there's the maybe the the body
31:18
reaction to the trauma where you the free state and then the the whatever
31:24
the cortisol that's released in the system and so forth so there was definitely that was also happening but also the spiritual
31:31
sensation of er seeing everything as energetic beings no good or bad just and forms of energy
31:40
and light and um so the the children were made to torture
31:48
me but i didn't feel for the longest time i didn't well i felt it but i wasn't
31:56
i didn't have a the maybe the human consciousness of the ego of
32:02
like i'm oh this is happening and it's hurting it wasn't really like that i felt it but i don't feel like my ego
32:09
was getting in the way right there wasn't really and i was really high so i felt it but it didn't really bother
32:16
me even though there were there were definitely you know you can see there
32:22
there i mean and and it's it's all over my body so they were using various small
32:29
things there was a crate under the butcher's block that had these small instruments in it
32:34
um like a pen knife a corkscrew
32:40
a fish hook um there was a belt with with um nails that was sort of
32:47
put around my arm so the nails on the inside
32:53
various tools there was an apple core apple car that the the man used that was
33:01
painful so i was trapped down and for some
33:06
reason it seems to go very quickly and i'm starting to think that i didn't get through
33:11
to this man and it's going very quickly like i'm com there's completely covered with blood
33:17
and the man was somehow he got in
33:22
as things progressed and i was just getting completely cut up
33:27
he got the idea that my right foot should be cut off and he
33:33
there was one boy there he sent the boy the boy had the fish hook he sent the boy the official kit
33:40
was scary because it would go under the skin first and then pull it and he sent the boy off to get a cleaver
33:48
to hack off my foot so i could hobble around he said so you can hobble around
33:53
like your boyfriend meaning the gangster who limped right
34:00
so and then i started to slowly he got in a bad mood and i didn't
34:08
really understand why he was in a bad mood i thought he was very happy to get rid
34:14
of me and i didn't understand why he was in a bad mood i had this question and i started to lose the high and i
34:21
started to feel that i'm not ready and started to feel afraid
34:27
he decided to turn me around because i was too bloody on the front so he just undid the straps
34:35
well the thing the thing that happened the last thing that happened is the youngest girl there
34:42
he was starting to threaten the children like if they didn't he was in a bad mood so he started to
34:47
say if you don't you know you're next if you're not gonna and she had the pen knife and she was supposed to to stab me and so they had
34:54
undid they undid the strap and my arm was like that and he was pushing her to stab me in the
35:01
arm and she was scared and her fear was the scariest thing to me that
35:07
her hesitation so she she she
35:14
she did it and then she got scared and she let go and the knife was sticking in my my arm and
35:24
he got angrier and angrier and she got scared really scared and so when
35:30
she pulled it out she twisted it and then suddenly i felt that and i felt everything all over
35:37
and suddenly the itching the itching of the blood
35:43
dripping everywhere um it just became completely unbearable i couldn't um my nerves just all awoke all at once
35:51
and i got really scared and suddenly now they're turning me around and
35:57
there's like this it's black the wood is black because the there's been so many you know i figured
36:03
there's so many children that have died here and i'm next and i don't feel ready and i'm just
36:08
thinking of all the children that have died that there was nobody to love them i
36:15
thought that in that moment there's nobody to love there's nobody to love me and there's nobody to love those children enough
36:21
for them to even live and i became pretty desperate and uh
36:30
very desperate and then the door opened and i'm thinking now there's a boy with the cleaver now
36:36
they're gonna hack off my foot but it was somebody else it was one of the friends
36:42
of the boss who said it's over and the handler
36:50
was in disbelief he said no you can't you can't be serious
36:58
he said yep that's it you can all go and he the handler said no she's going
37:05
to give us trouble had no power there so
37:13
he and the children left and i was just left there by myself in the room
37:22
um then i realized that one of the children
37:28
had brought my clothes and i realized this again this bond
37:34
that we couldn't express but it was really there and i just broke out in tears and i saw
37:40
the clothes there and realizing we were connected
37:46
we're um there was such a sweet gesture
37:53
to bring my clothes they could have left them where they'd taken them off you know but this child had picked them
37:58
up and brought them over so i just really appreciated that
38:05
and i was just so grateful grateful for that gesture and then i was
38:12
just grateful for everything it was very hard to get down i was in
38:18
really bad shape full of holes
38:25
and it was not easy to put my clothes on because i was in such bad shape
38:32
and
38:39
i made my way well there was a bathroom there i tried to clean myself up and it was very
38:46
difficult to look at myself because i was really in very bad shape and i didn't look like i was going to
38:51
survive i didn't look like i was going to live much longer
38:56
and i went outside i shuffled outside
39:03
and my my jeans i i i wore again i was so i had such gratitude for everything i
39:09
might my i wore i had loose jeans like bell-bottom jeans so i was so grateful that they were
39:15
loose and my t-shirt you know was whatever i was uh but they were getting stained and
39:23
everything was uh so as i walked out i saw
39:32
i saw the gangster he had a girl with him and he was
39:38
basically had this girl he was having he was raping that girl right there but it didn't
39:43
do anything to me it was just not i wasn't really
39:50
there was something else he put her down and he sent her off and he came to me and he said i was
39:56
waiting for you and he guided me and i was just again
40:02
grateful that he was waiting that he had been waiting i didn't know
40:09
i was taken to an office there's the boss of the network
40:15
the gangster the friend who had stopped it it was like a lawyer type and the girl
40:22
she was there this girl was maybe nine years old eight or nine i think nine i hadn't seen
40:29
her before i remember what she looks like now
40:36
the boss of the network starts to speak and he says you know so you were saved you were let
40:43
go you're going to be let go but we don't do just do that you know we don't just do that here you can't just leave
40:51
someone has to die so he said is it going to be you or is it
40:56
going to be her and that was the girl that was there
41:03
and i'd been through things like that before with animals
41:10
so it wasn't about it wasn't a real question like i knew it wasn't the question it
41:16
was more about what do they want and how can i
41:23
just do what they need me to do most effectively so that there's the least amount of energy and time
41:29
wasted and that it could be what may be the most humane right
41:34
so i try to tune in like what was this what what do they want so the gangster was
41:41
standing against and he was like flipping his foot he was like flipping so i'm just getting this attention of
41:46
this foot flipping and there's something like he wants me to know and i think oh he was he wanted me to be
41:52
jealous he wanted me to be jealous he wants me to
41:58
he wants me to say that it's her it's i should say it's her her she should be killed because he
42:07
he did that for that reason i realized he did that in front of me so that i would be jealous and i would
42:12
want her dead and i'm getting that i wasn't jealous at all but i felt that
42:20
so i said her and he said the impossible and you're
42:26
gonna you're gonna you you're gonna have to kill her
42:32
and then i thought i could you know i'd rather go myself
42:37
i'm barely alive you know i wasn't it's not like i
42:43
like i knew i didn't want to do that i never wanted to live after i didn't
42:49
and then i just thought just for a second i mean i didn't really think it through like an adult but it was just
42:55
something that i knew from what i'd experienced that if i had said i'm not doing it
43:01
that she would have been killed in front of me probably in a worse way
43:07
to show me to punish me that was always definitely i'm going to happen
43:15
so i realized that it would be the most humane that i do it that there's no way that she's going to
43:21
survive the night either way
43:28
so the the gangster took me to a bathroom again to try to clean me up and i saw look for a moment and he just
43:35
saw me and he just wondered if i was going to live and i you know he tried to cover it but i
43:41
i saw it too and he drove me
43:49
to a house like a villa um outside of brussels
43:57
and um there were the regulars were there so these are all belgians
44:02
belgians and frenchmen that are um that are in the belgian
44:08
section of the network the uh the boss was also there
44:16
and when we arrived i noticed that he the gangster had always gotten a lot of
44:22
respect and i noticed that they're sort of derisive of him that they're like not not caring so much
44:30
about about him and they're sort of laughing at him and i immediately sensed the difference and
44:36
i'm not sure what's going on we are led into a
44:42
an old dentist's office that was the walls were knocked out in it but there was a dentist's chair there
44:49
and the girl was tied up to the dentist's chair
44:54
and so the night was
45:01
the girl was tortured i was made to torture her i was being
45:07
taught how to torture because they were getting off on it
45:15
and i was the gangster was always verbal taught me that i should strike but be in
45:22
attunement with her so that i would get the electrical shock
45:28
that she was feeling in empathically and that is then the sexual arousal
45:38
but i didn't have any any feelings towards that girl for any
45:46
desire certainly but also any envy at all
45:54
or you know for jealousy i didn't this didn't exist um and i didn't have that reaction but i
46:02
did you know do what i was made to do and then he gave me tons of coke he was doing a lot of coke he gave me
46:07
tons of coke we would go off in the corner and and i overheard men saying
46:16
that he had sold his life and for what for that little whore and i was just starting to question him
46:22
and i realized that he made a deal while i was being tortured he made a deal with the boss that he was
46:29
going to work for them work for him as his left-hand man whatever he was going to be at his service so he
46:36
lost his power in the network because he became a servant of this the boss
46:44
for my life but then there was also a sense that i wasn't supposed to survive anyway so this is a very long
46:53
this is not really an overview but i can say that i went through the
46:59
experience i did kill the girl i
47:05
got myself into the space where the girl was completely not there
47:10
anymore i walked around and i just started to remember all the things that i had been through all the ways in
47:17
which i'd been made to feel powerless all the men that had raped me not one that had stopped himself
47:22
and then i started to think about my mother and my mother who had just never ever shown me any kind any love at all
47:29
and i just started to get aroused in that way
47:36
and when i struck i had been told that i should slit her throat
47:42
and i struck her in the belly and even in the moment that i struck it became this incredible incredibly
47:48
dense moment where
47:55
i felt a release and all the powerlessness that had made
48:02
me feel so frustrated that all this energy was still there and all the anger was still there
48:07
there was this channel this offer to channel it in this way in this most
48:12
destructive way but in that moment there was this complete release and i felt
48:18
the i felt what a baby should feel i felt innocent and completely powerful
48:26
in this dense dense moment of the strike itself
48:33
and um and i i i struck and then i hear i heard a
48:39
scream and then i realized it was me
48:45
screaming as i did it
48:50
and i struck it in the belly and that was i knew i had like wanted to strike
48:57
myself in my mother's belly as an as an as a fetus i just wanted to
49:03
have wanted to kill myself in my mother's belly and i fell to the floor
49:13
and i started to leave the body i started to the senses started to
49:18
revert and i was very happy to go
49:25
and um well it wasn't finished there was a an
49:32
awareness in the room that i had to
49:38
well the gangster was crying next to me for a little while but then something happened and i got
49:44
this there was this light in front of me this beautiful warm round
49:50
sun and i was getting all this information as i had before and i was getting all
49:57
this information through that light and i was um
50:03
made aware that she wasn't able to die that she wasn't dead that she wasn't able to die and that
50:12
the gangster who was the only person left in the room he wasn't going to do it he was too scared
50:18
so i had this i i had this this thing put in front of me
50:24
like you have to go back because you have to help her
50:29
and i resisted it i didn't want to i really wanted to leave because i thought if i die then the gangster is off the hook with
50:35
this with this boss the politician and he
50:41
doesn't have to work for him and then he will be free and that's my romantic
50:46
idea that i'm going to die and then he's going to be free and he's going to be saved but i had to
50:52
come back to help the girl so i broke through the resistance and i
50:58
the mental yes just everything reverted started to reverse because i had already lost
51:04
like since the census had started to revert i lost the taste the sense and sensation
51:12
of the tongue in the mouth and everything had lost everything and it was reversed it was coming back
51:20
and um i crawled i i crawled over to her she was on the floor too
51:27
and um then i was in a in a divine space there like it wasn't me
51:35
there was a girl she was afraid to go because she was she she was afraid that
51:40
she wouldn't be that she would stop existing
51:45
and i um i assured her but completely channeling it's not at
51:52
all me that she would continue to exist that she would be her and that she was lucky
51:57
that she could go and that i was going to have to stay and she was lucky to go and i rubbed her
52:04
here i don't know why it just came naturally i just rubbed her between the eyebrows and she
52:10
she she passed and and then this light came over me
52:18
and then i went and i went and i had let's say an
52:24
audience on the other side of the ether
52:34
and there was a different realm beyond the physical
52:41
and i saw my teacher and i was immediately i was greeted with a joke there was
52:46
something very ironic and that was that was immediately addressed and
52:54
this play of light and dark you know i was given given this experience
53:01
now so that i would know what to strive for and also some information and i asked
53:09
about the girl said none of your business really but she's okay you know she just went
53:14
through a very difficult test she's fine some questions some answers
53:20
some not so from cryptic and then
53:26
returned and i don't know how much time passed but it was my body was
53:32
clean i was glowing at least five pounds heavier
53:40
the wounds were dry and clean
53:48
wow so one question with regards to your
53:56
personal journey which we're talking about in your your healing in particular
54:02
how does one deal with having to take someone's life and
54:09
how do you heal from that right i'm not sure if i'll ever heal
54:15
completely from it i i did
54:21
carry this burden though very very strongly for most of my life
54:26
and that was the purpose for me to carry that because i couldn't speak out for example
54:34
the strongest reason one of the strongest reasons why was not so much because i would be
54:40
killed but it was because i thought that i would be called out as a perpetrator because i
54:45
felt that i was because i at 11 years old i was given the choice
54:53
and i had taken a life so i had obviously worked
55:01
in therapy i had heard some good people tell me that i was a
55:09
victim too and i didn't believe it
55:15
i wanted to believe them but i didn't believe it so it wasn't until um 2013
55:24
writing writing about the experience again and suddenly i suddenly put it together
55:31
there were certain little things that were missing from the memory
55:36
and in particular what i remembered is what i had always done in the network
55:42
and i always thought about the way to do the
55:48
action that i was made to do that i knew it wasn't a choice and was made to do it in the
55:54
way that would cause the least harm and then in this situation that least
56:00
harm meant that i should kill her
56:08
and i realized that it wasn't the guilt i had a guilt complex i lived with this
56:16
vast guild complex that everything that i ever did or said
56:22
i always went back and thought i must have done something wrong in it so it's not introspection it's a
56:29
guilt complex just constantly going back over every little interaction i couldn't really
56:35
function very well because i was always you know any you know somebody wouldn't
56:40
call back and i would worry that i'd done something to upset them you know and i would maybe
56:46
even ask them and maybe say no not at all you know it has nothing to do
56:52
with you basically but that just hung over my life like
56:58
like a cloud for most of so 13 i was um well i was it was right
57:04
before i was 49 it was right before my 50th birthday
57:10
so from 11 to 49 i held that i had this tremendous guild complex and then
57:20
when i when i understood fully understood that
57:27
so i had to i had to internally believe it you know so once that happens it was the
57:34
birth i call it the birth of self-esteem when i knew that it's not my fault
57:42
but to take a life i did that anyway you know that's i went through that action of taking
57:48
that life i think of this girl every day i know what she looked like
57:55
i um i haven't felt anything or anything but
58:01
i think of her every day and i am thinking of small ways rituals to
58:07
honor the children that were killed in the network the ones that i saw and
58:15
ones that i didn't see
58:20
and what what of your experience let's say your spiritual experience of
58:26
having heard some confirmation that she is safe at that time
58:33
[Music] that's a different realm yeah so yes i in that moment i i i wanted to
58:40
know i heard that then so it's the spiritual in that sense it's separate as long as we're in the body
58:47
and working out um you just have to work that psychology and go back and um
58:57
and and really know it by feeling it right so
59:04
i don't feel guilty today about it i actually feel that because of that
59:12
experience i understand killers
59:17
i understand how they would become addicted to that moment right
59:25
i understand it and i understand the projection i understand the the so this
59:32
girl when i struck she wasn't that girl at all so in the biggest sense you have to
59:39
dissociate and you have to project onto the victim in order to do what you
59:45
do so that had been done to me but now i was doing it and so she wasn't that girl
59:50
at all she was my mother and then she was me at the essence of it it was i was killing myself
1:00:00
and that insanity is necessary to kill
1:00:08
i think this is a great time to take a break yes i know it's been hard for you guys i
1:00:13
know okay so i have to say that when i first watched uh these first two parts
1:00:18
after we had filmed them um and even the rest of our team when we watched these parts
1:00:24
everyone had some pretty visceral sort of feelings or reactions that came up after watching this whole thing you know
1:00:30
there's a lot of stuff that gets covered she's obviously been through such an incredible um like something that that you just you
1:00:37
almost can't even put into words it's unbelievable what experiences she has had
1:00:43
leading up to this point in her life especially when obviously when she was a child and was going through this stuff and
1:00:49
that brings up a lot of stuff because what you begin to feel is that this stuff is real this stuff
1:00:54
does happen in our world and this is happening through the people that we just would not imagine
1:01:00
are doing this sort of stuff uh the people that we put in positions of power and so forth and a lot of this is starting to come down
1:01:06
we're seeing a lot of different things happen but you know this is really humanity facing a dark aspect of itself
1:01:13
that we need to face that we need to move through and so you may be feeling a lot of different
1:01:18
things as as we go through this and as we look at this and so we wanted to really encourage we wanted to really push for
1:01:25
um if you are feeling a lot of different stuff as i did when i first watched this i i actually went and i meditated right
1:01:32
afterwards for about 20 or 25 minutes just processing the different things that i had heard and what it had brought
1:01:38
up because that's important right when we watch something and it brings something forward it's for us to observe it's for us to
1:01:44
understand what am i feeling with this what am i understanding because what we're going through as we see this
1:01:49
stuff is not just stuff that we're feeling within ourselves that's part of it that's a big part of it right when we hear this we feel this stuff
1:01:55
within ourselves right because it touches on so many different aspects of lack of empowerment or what it is that
1:02:01
we choose to support or the darker aspects of humanity and thus ourselves right all these different
1:02:06
things but we're also going to be going through and processing some of what the collective feels and
1:02:12
believes around this stuff because we are all tapped into that collective consciousness so it's important for us
1:02:18
to do this individual work here as we observe and as we hear these stories and really move through some of
1:02:24
the different emotions and different aspects of humanity that are being asked to be moved through
1:02:30
at this time as we go through this stuff so if it's helpful you know take a few moments 20 minutes or whatever you feel
1:02:36
an hour you know write out some of the stuff you're feeling really explore this have a conversation with someone that
1:02:41
you may have watched this with or perhaps you you say hey check out these videos to a friend or something like
1:02:47
that and and you guys can chat it out after don't just um kind of bury the emotions
1:02:53
or pretend that they're not there or maybe not want to face them this is a very very important aspect to this entire thing and it's why
1:03:00
we chose to release this interview and do it the way we did and it's also why we chose to
1:03:05
to to sort of look at annika's story as a whole because her wisdom through this is truly the
1:03:12
one of the biggest antidotes to the cabal and from an emotional point of view right this is it's very
1:03:18
very important what she shares as we go through this and we're gonna get into that a lot more in part three and part four
1:03:23
but below this video you're going to see a link in the description to a meditation that you can do and you can
1:03:29
download that'll just help us kind of create a little bit of space a little bit of guidance to
1:03:35
open up the doors to to kind of process a little further what we just told so we highly encourage that
1:03:40
um to to go through that because you know again we don't want to see just kind of the feelings come up and
1:03:45
then we just kind of bury them we want to take the time to go through this and obviously we know and we recognize that what was just
1:03:51
seen was quite intense and we don't want the perception of oh that's just negative to be placed
1:03:58
on this because it's this is much more important than than trying to to view it in that manner
1:04:03
but actually viewing it for what it truly is so we'll catch you in part three and part four where we begin to go
1:04:08
through the entire healing journey the healing process that annika went through and this is where things get i mean
1:04:14
aside from the intensity of the story this is where things get really really important on a consciousness level so
1:04:19
be sure to check those ones out