Up next in 10
Somewhere between the rise of social media and modern life, we stopped feeding our neighbors. We stopped knowing the people who live right down the road. In this episode, we get honest about the slow death of community, how isolation has effected us, why do we feel lonely in America and why getting back to the table might be the most important thing we can do right now. Because a plate of biscuits has always done what no algorithm ever could! #cowboycoffeehour
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Kent Rollins
Cowboy Cooking, Cast Iron, Outdoor Cooking, Grilling, Dutch Oven Cooking
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0:00
You know, we live in a very fast-paced
0:03
world today.
0:04
>> Mhm.
0:05
You can get on the phone or pull up to
0:07
the drive-through window, have a meal in
0:10
30 minutes, and not even know who you're
0:12
eating it with or who's around. Yeah,
0:14
and that's why in this episode we
0:16
thought it would be really important to
0:18
talk about community. What our society
0:21
has kind of turned into where we don't
0:22
know our neighbors, we don't know our
0:24
community. Everything's fast and crazy.
0:27
And also, how do we get back there?
0:30
Yeah. To a slower pace and enjoying each
0:32
other's company. Unplug.
0:37
>> [music]
0:39
>> Howdy. My name is Kent Rollins. I've
0:42
been a cowboy and a chuck wagon cook for
0:44
over 30 years, cooking for ranches all
0:46
across America. You might have seen me
0:48
on the Food Network or alongside my
0:50
beautiful wife Shannon on our YouTube
0:52
show, where we share cowboy cooking from
0:54
the trail. But now we're going to take
0:56
you behind the scenes to real campfire
0:59
conversations. Join us as we share
1:01
humor, cowboy wisdom, and stories full
1:03
of history, heart, faith, and of course,
1:06
>> [music]
1:07
>> a little fire. So grab you a cup of
1:08
coffee, pull up a chair, and welcome to
1:11
the podcast.
1:17
You know, I'm a firm believer, Shan, and
1:19
still am today,
1:20
rural America had the best communities
1:23
ever.
1:24
The smaller the places, the more you
1:26
knew your neighbors,
1:27
you know? And
1:29
lived and grew up in Hollis, Oklahoma.
1:32
I think
1:33
at this time there might have been 2,000
1:35
people in the whole county, you know?
1:38
And it was uh
1:40
right before the 4th of July.
1:44
And we I was living in Stillwater at the
1:45
time. I was going to come back You were
1:47
in school out there?
1:48
>> Yeah. Out of college?
1:49
>> Yeah. And my mom and dad's house caught
1:52
on fire due to a stray firework that
1:55
someone had shot.
1:56
>> Oh, no.
1:57
>> Landed up in the eve of that old
1:58
two-story house, hit a bird's nest.
2:00
My dad had come home from the vet clinic
2:02
and was eating lunch. Mom had cooked
2:04
lunch, you know. Him and her and Cindy
2:06
were sitting there at the table and she
2:07
said,
2:08
"I think I smell smoke."
2:12
And he said,
2:13
"Ah, it's probably neighbors across the
2:15
road burning something, you know."
2:17
He went to eat and eat his lunch and
2:19
every day after lunch he would always
2:20
take a nap, 15 minutes.
2:23
But when he went in the bedroom, which
2:24
is closer to the outside of the house,
2:26
he could smell it, too.
2:27
And a guy pulled up about that time, a
2:29
neighbor from up the road, and they
2:32
called my dad Wash, w a s h.
2:35
And he said, "Hey Wash, your house is on
2:37
fire." Oh.
2:39
And at that time when he stepped out,
2:41
the top part was just a blaze. So, it's
2:44
a two-story house and pretty much at
2:46
that point the second story had caught.
2:48
Wood shingles, you know, wood siding,
2:51
uh just waiting for a match, you know.
2:54
And uh Mama called it in.
2:58
And in no time our volunteer fire
3:01
department and every neighbor who had a
3:05
scanner, which there was a lot of them
3:07
old women had a scanner back then,
3:10
you never seen so many people pull up in
3:12
your life. There were people running
3:14
upstairs, making sure first Cindy's in a
3:16
wheelchair. She's had cerebral palsy all
3:18
her life. Mama's got her outside
3:21
and she's frantic thinking I need to get
3:23
this. She got the cats, got the dogs,
3:25
you know. But people are running up the
3:28
stairs with the fire still going on up
3:31
there
3:32
and throwing mattresses out windows,
3:34
throwing letting beds down off the side
3:37
of the house, trying to save everything
3:39
they can. People fighting tooth and nail
3:42
to save someone else's home.
3:45
And I remember getting that call that
3:48
night and I I went back
3:51
and you see it
3:53
and the top half is sort of just burned
3:55
off. There's a few studs sticking up
3:57
here and there, you know.
3:59
And uh
4:00
my mama and them were staying in a
4:02
little old travel trailer that some
4:03
friends had brought for them to stay in.
4:06
And I just sleeping out there on cot and
4:08
stuff.
4:09
But the next morning it was like word
4:12
got out.
4:14
There's so many people up there at that
4:15
house you couldn't count them with
4:16
stick.
4:17
And they were all there to help.
4:20
People were cleaning up. People were
4:21
cleaning off the top of the house.
4:23
An old fellow that that was a friend of
4:25
ours but also a carpenter and his buddy
4:27
run the lumber yard.
4:29
They had already come up there and
4:31
telling mama and daddy "Don't worry
4:33
about this. We got the lumber. We're
4:34
going to start building this back
4:36
tomorrow." You know.
4:38
And there was an old man there named
4:40
Buffalo Boone.
4:41
Lived up north of Hollis.
4:43
And it just
4:44
as good as they come by.
4:46
He was there every day 8 hours a day.
4:51
And he'd have a rake and a bucket and a
4:53
broom and he cleaned up everything that
4:56
either hit in that yard or they swept
4:58
off the top of the house.
4:59
Or he would go get lunch or he would And
5:02
people brought food. You was thinking
5:03
this is sort of like a funeral. There
5:05
was people bringing food every day. You
5:07
know what I mean? And that's what
5:08
community is. That's what it is to help
5:11
your neighbor.
5:12
And I look back now and I think all the
5:14
small rural places
5:16
they still doing this. But are we doing
5:19
it to our neighbors now? Do we know who
5:21
our neighbors are?
5:22
I think that's what's really important
5:24
to talk about is what is it that we've
5:27
lost? And I'm going to say this that
5:31
we've lost the table culture.
5:35
But it's not just the table that we're
5:38
not sitting around anymore, right? It's
5:39
we're not going to each other's houses.
5:41
We're not checking in on each other.
5:43
There has been a little bit of a loss in
5:46
community and neighborhoods, right? Um
5:50
and I think a lot of this has been
5:53
a loss of spontaneity. Yep. You know, I
5:56
think
5:57
now we only we almost feel like there
5:59
has to be a big event or there has to be
6:02
like a specific reason to get together
6:04
or to call somebody or to see someone.
6:06
And it didn't used to be like that,
6:08
right?
6:09
No, I mean we
6:10
you got together
6:12
nearly every weekend when I was growing
6:14
up. There were somebody was house or you
6:17
was checking on somebody or you was
6:18
helping somebody out, whether it was
6:20
working cattle, building fence, pulling
6:22
a well, working on a windmill. Everybody
6:24
helped everybody, you know?
6:26
And now it's
6:28
I put it back to like an old man said at
6:29
a funeral one time. He said, "You know,
6:31
the only time we see each other is at a
6:32
funeral." Yeah. You know, and it
6:35
shouldn't be that way. Do you think it
6:37
was because there was a greater need?
6:39
Like people needed each other and now
6:42
because there's more technology, more
6:45
resources,
6:46
we don't anymore? I don't know if it's
6:49
if it's the need.
6:51
I just think people have got consumed in
6:55
I don't have to rely
6:56
on my neighbor. Mhm. I don't even have
6:59
to know my neighbor,
7:01
you know?
7:02
Back then were
7:04
even if you were in a on a ranch or you
7:06
were on a community, you neighbored up
7:08
with someone.
7:09
So, I found that really interesting. So,
7:12
um me not being from the ranching
7:13
culture, you had described this a bunch
7:16
and you would explain like in the spring
7:18
or the fall when you're working cattle,
7:22
you would neighbor up. Yep. What does
7:24
that mean?
7:25
You would help your neighbor work his
7:27
cattle. And when it come time to work
7:29
your cattle, your neighbors would come
7:30
help you.
7:31
>> So, you're not hiring on additional
7:32
help. You're just exchanging.
7:34
>> exchange hands and it's some of the best
7:36
food you're ever going to eat in your
7:37
life cuz all them ranch women and
7:39
everybody was bringing groceries.
7:42
I thought them was of the grandest times
7:43
ever. But it And it didn't just happen
7:46
just on
7:47
working days that you're just helping.
7:49
Communities, I mean, we we got together.
7:51
There was big fish fries.
7:53
You know,
7:54
big 4th of July celebrations.
7:57
But it could just be like, "Hey,
7:58
so-and-so's coming to town this weekend.
8:01
Let's invite a bunch of people over and
8:02
have a party."
8:03
You know, and
8:05
you'd catch up with people you hadn't
8:06
seen for 5 years, maybe even 10 years.
8:08
People from out of town that you might
8:10
not ever met. And um
8:13
you think,
8:14
"Well, that's a lot of work having to
8:15
cook, having to do all this."
8:17
We're the ones getting the blessing from
8:18
it cuz we're getting to visit with
8:20
people. Mhm.
8:21
>> if people would slow down now and think,
8:24
"Here's what I'm going to do.
8:25
I'm going to go up there. I'm going to
8:26
open my Aunt Carol cookbook and I'll
8:28
make me some biscuits.
8:30
And when they're done, I'm going to take
8:33
a jar of jelly,
8:34
stick of butter,
8:36
and them biscuits and I'm going to knock
8:37
on my neighbor's door and say, "Here you
8:39
go, tomorrow it's your turn to bring me
8:41
a steak." Hey, if somebody knocks on my
8:43
door with a stick of butter, I'm sure
8:45
opening it.
8:46
That's a great way inside somebody's
8:48
house.
8:48
>> [laughter]
8:48
>> When we moved here to New Mexico,
8:51
Uh-huh. that was the first time that I
8:54
experienced what a good good neighbor
8:56
was.
8:57
And I thought, "This is the best feeling
8:59
in the entire world." Because
9:03
not only do you just have like a friend
9:05
across the street, but it's like
9:06
somebody who watches out for you. They
9:08
watch our dogs when we're gone. We watch
9:10
their dogs. Like you can just walk
9:12
across and like I think I've even asked
9:15
them for some sugar. Like or you know,
9:18
like you have that experience.
9:20
And it is so rewarding.
9:23
>> Rewarding. And when they ask you to do
9:25
something, it's like it's a reward. I'm
9:28
like, "Yes. Oh, I would love to."
9:30
Because it's it's nice to be able to
9:32
repay and have that reciprocation. So,
9:35
um we were a smaller community, um, but
9:39
I don't know that I necessarily had that
9:42
really warm closeness
9:46
um, that I think that maybe you had
9:48
growing up.
9:49
>> go pull a calf or help your neighbor
9:50
build I did not neighbor up with the the
9:52
town folk, no.
9:53
>> Okay.
9:54
Um, but speaking of that, um,
9:58
with the chuck wagon, Mhm.
10:00
with
10:01
how we cook,
10:03
and we cook on working ranches with our
10:05
1876 Studebaker chuck wagon. We go out,
10:08
we set up, and we we feed cowboys for
10:12
anywhere from like 5 weeks to well, 5
10:14
days to 5 weeks-ish.
10:17
Um, and what I found was
10:20
the chuck wagon is its own very unique
10:24
community,
10:25
and maybe, um, you know, one of the
10:28
first gathering places. Oh, yeah. So,
10:32
you know, talk to me
10:33
>> it you go back to time, fire brought
10:36
people first together for warmth, for
10:39
light, for comfort.
10:42
And then there was food that was on the
10:44
fire,
10:45
and that was even more of a comfort.
10:47
And then people would gather around
10:49
that,
10:50
help
10:52
their neighbors bring more people in,
10:54
more food to eat,
10:55
and it was like a a focal point.
10:58
It's the same way on ranch. We're set up
11:00
there.
11:01
Ain't like you going to get in a pickup,
11:03
I'm going to drive up here to
11:04
convenience store and get me
11:06
a donut and some coffee. We are the
11:08
convenience store. Mhm. We're the
11:10
one-stop shop.
11:11
>> Yeah, we are the cafeteria, we are
11:13
everything right there.
11:15
And
11:16
there's great camaraderie
11:18
there around the wagon. And that's what
11:19
it takes really, if you're a good cook
11:21
and you have that, everybody's in a
11:23
happier place.
11:25
It and it's almost a necessity. Oh, yes.
11:28
Because, like you said, there is nowhere
11:30
else to go. And so,
11:32
it's our job to feed these people, these
11:35
cowboys. But what I realized, it goes so
11:39
much more beyond just filling their
11:41
bellies.
11:42
>> Oh, yes. You got to fill their heart and
11:43
soul, too.
11:45
It's And it's it's lonely, right? It can
11:48
be. And so, what is your role other than
11:50
feeding these guys? Well,
11:52
there's so many roles a chuck wagon cook
11:54
has to play.
11:55
You know, whether you're a doctor,
11:57
dentist, barber, you know,
11:59
but
12:00
you're also that time to listen.
12:03
You want to hear what's going on.
12:05
If someone is having a hard day or
12:08
somebody Some of them young young'uns
12:10
are missing home.
12:12
That's when you you really take them in
12:13
and say, "This is your home
12:15
for 6 weeks.
12:17
We're your home. We're your family."
12:19
Because when you can make somebody feel
12:21
like that,
12:22
then it sort of lifts a little that
12:23
burden off of them that they're
12:24
thinking,
12:25
"You know, I'm
12:26
I don't know if I can do this.
12:28
I miss home. I miss this. I miss that."
12:30
If you can bring that environment to
12:32
people, then you got it.
12:35
But also some of the best things too out
12:36
there is the remoteness. There's not a
12:39
phone signal.
12:41
There's not internet. The So, you're
12:43
realizing
12:45
even if someone is a little standoffish
12:47
or a little shy,
12:49
they can't sit in the pickup and text
12:50
somebody.
12:51
>> Mhm.
12:52
They going to have to visit.
12:53
And visiting heals a lot of fighting.
12:56
It's interesting, the very unique aspect
12:58
of the chuck wagon is its isolation.
13:00
>> Yeah.
13:01
And what that makes people do.
13:04
>> Yeah. It makes people visit. You don't
13:07
have necessarily cell phone out service
13:09
out there.
13:10
>> No. And so, it's almost a forced
13:13
community. Yeah. Um which is really
13:16
interesting.
13:17
>> You know, it's
13:20
We said at the first, it's really a
13:21
fast-paced world that we live in. People
13:24
have got in overdrive most of the time.
13:26
I'm just telling you
13:28
mashing on the clutch,
13:30
hit the brake,
13:31
put it in reverse, and let's back up 30
13:34
years.
13:36
Just put it
13:37
Look in the rearview mirror, keep on
13:39
coming back. Come on, you ain't there
13:40
yet. Keep on coming.
13:42
And let's get back to family.
13:45
But first, let's put God in there.
13:47
Let's gather around the table.
13:49
And let's bless it, and let's share
13:51
food, not with just our family and our
13:53
friends.
13:55
Take it to someone who needs it.
13:57
Go visit your neighbor.
13:58
You know, knock on the door and say,
14:00
"You hadn't met me before, but you may
14:03
get tired of me now cuz I we're going to
14:04
come in and visit."
14:06
I remember it was really interesting. We
14:08
were cooking on the Bell Ranch in
14:10
Northeastern New Mexico, and this was a
14:11
long one, guys. We were out there, I
14:13
think nearly 6 weeks.
14:15
And this was my first major
14:17
uh chuck wagon cooking, and being that
14:19
isolated. And I remember Kendra, one of
14:23
the ranch wives, she had heard we'd been
14:26
talking at one point randomly about how
14:28
much we like sushi. Well, of course
14:29
you're not getting a sushi on the chuck
14:31
wagon.
14:32
And she went home, and I guess she had a
14:34
little sushi kit or something, and she
14:36
brought these homemade sushi rolls out
14:39
to the wagon. And I thought that was
14:41
just such a small, generous thing. Not
14:45
only to just acknowledge us and thank us
14:49
for the work that we were doing, but it
14:51
was just at a moment you thought, "Wow,
14:53
she just It didn't even have to be
14:55
sushi. It could have been anything." But
14:57
just that second that
14:59
I knew she had taken a moment to think
15:03
about us
15:04
and respond to that. And I just thought
15:06
that was so so kind. And
15:09
um
15:09
you know what you had said with the with
15:12
the chuck wagon and being in isolation,
15:15
and you can't have a cell phone at the
15:17
table because there is no service.
15:20
There is a little bit of a growing trend
15:23
now Yeah. to put the cell phone away.
15:27
And I know you all have seen this. You
15:29
go to a restaurant and hey, I'm guilty
15:31
of it, too.
15:32
You go to a restaurant and you look
15:33
around and there's the family of five
15:36
and they all are looking down at their
15:38
cell phones and no one is talking.
15:41
But there is a little bit of a revival
15:44
to let's social media detox a little
15:46
bit, right? I'm all for it. And
15:48
accidentally, I think the Chuck Wagon
15:51
was the first kick off to that. Maybe we
15:52
were pioneers and we didn't even know
15:54
it. How how do you do that? Like it
15:56
seems so easy like, oh yeah, I'll just
15:58
put the cell phone. But we've almost
16:00
wired our brains to like need it a
16:02
little bit.
16:03
>> Well, I think a lot of it is you're
16:05
afraid you're going to miss something.
16:07
That's what it is. FOMO. Oh, I know a
16:09
minute. Got to get my phone, you know.
16:11
It is. It's we're we're losing the sense
16:14
of being in the moment in the present.
16:16
>> know what we're missing.
16:18
We're missing
16:19
sitting down, visiting with people.
16:22
Yeah.
16:22
>> Hearing about how was their day?
16:24
How's life treating you? So-and-so's
16:26
been to the doctor. So-and-so's going
16:28
through cancer.
16:30
You wouldn't know on my phone. I didn't
16:31
know that.
16:33
There's more people most of the time
16:36
have a cell phone in their hand at the
16:37
table than they do a fork. Yeah. And
16:39
it's I'll tell you what.
16:41
Next time you go to a restaurant
16:44
take that cell phone, put it in the
16:46
glove box. One one easy trick. That's
16:48
what I love. Like let's just let's just
16:50
go slow.
16:50
>> Yeah. Let's just do one easy trick.
16:52
We're not asking you for a full day of
16:54
no Facebook.
16:57
Just go when you're going to a
17:00
restaurant. Just start there. Not even
17:02
at home, maybe. Just start there. Put it
17:03
in the leave it in the car and go have
17:05
your meal. Yeah. Food nourishes
17:09
your body. We got to have it. Yeah.
17:11
But I think there's a vitamin that we're
17:14
very deficient on.
17:16
And that is
17:18
environment of giving time to others.
17:22
So, let's all take a shot.
17:25
>> [laughter]
17:26
>> Let's open up the bottle and take a few.
17:28
>> Um so, it's it we started before
17:32
where you have the um the culture of
17:36
sitting down at the table. It was
17:38
homemade. You stayed. You talked. You
17:41
visited.
17:42
>> Yeah. And you even washed the dishes.
17:44
And you washed the dishes. And it was
17:45
kind of like a whole thing, right? And
17:47
now the order is
17:50
um
17:51
place your order, eat, move on to the
17:54
next task, right? Or even multitask.
17:56
Like, I do that I do that a lot. Like,
17:59
okay, I'm going to eat. I'm going to
18:01
answer some emails. And I'm going to
18:03
talk to my sister all at the same time.
18:06
I I think it's just because there's a
18:09
lot of pressure, right? In in society.
18:12
Like, you have to be doing it all.
18:14
I think that's maybe where we lost
18:18
focus.
18:19
Is because there's just so much pressure
18:23
to be everything and to do everything.
18:25
And I still feel that.
18:27
Well, I think we just let too much
18:29
occupy our minds. Right. You know,
18:31
there's not a whole lot up here occupies
18:33
minds. Mostly full of smoke.
18:35
Uh
18:37
but there's a there's a lot of folks
18:39
work 8-5. There's a lot of folks work 12
18:42
hours.
18:43
There's a lot of folks working
18:44
as much as they can work. Mhm.
18:47
But there comes a time to where when
18:49
you're off work, the first thing you
18:51
reach for shouldn't be a phone or a
18:52
computer.
18:54
It should be either for some nourishment
18:56
for your soul and your heart
19:00
or someone you love or a neighbor.
19:03
Some of the best time I ever had in my
19:05
life and we'd go to them ranches and we
19:06
wouldn't have no phone service.
19:08
And me and you'd be sitting in a teepee
19:10
and neither one of us could pick up a
19:13
because it wasn't going to do you no
19:14
good, no way. And you sit there and you
19:16
talk about how was the day? Mhm. What
19:18
happened today? What can we do tomorrow
19:21
to make it better?
19:22
You know? Let That just reminded me like
19:24
let me just give you a tip right now
19:26
that came straight from the chuck wagon.
19:29
Isolate yourself. Yeah. Now, I don't
19:31
mean isolate yourself like go into a
19:33
room and and just be by yourself and
19:35
meditate. There's a time for that. But
19:38
isolate yourself from social media.
19:41
Yeah. Or whatever your distraction is.
19:42
>> From electricity. Like you said, just
19:44
put the phone somewhere where you can't
19:46
get to it.
19:46
>> Yeah. But baby steps there because
19:49
we we are in a society that does require
19:53
technology. That's just where we're at.
19:55
So you can't completely shut it off.
19:56
That's ridiculous.
19:58
But but those little isolations, 15
20:01
minutes. Yeah. Just do that. Yeah, I I'm
20:04
going to tell you
20:05
go find peace somewhere.
20:08
If it's at a park,
20:09
some top of mountain,
20:11
if it's in the backyard where there's
20:13
nothing,
20:14
and try to listen to the sounds that's
20:16
God's got out there. Not the phone
20:18
ringing, not the TV, not something
20:21
happening in the house.
20:22
Just take time to sit there quietly and
20:25
just listen. You know, I went through a
20:27
phase where I was trying to like detox
20:30
and actually find out what I enjoyed to
20:35
get away from work. And I kind of had a
20:37
little bit of a panic because I didn't
20:40
know what I enjoyed. I didn't have a
20:42
hobby. I didn't know what to do. Like if
20:45
I wasn't always working or filling my
20:47
time with that, what was I going to do
20:48
and who was I?
20:50
Um and I just started breaking it down.
20:53
You just have to find out like what is
20:55
your joy. And it could be something I
20:57
started off small. I was like, well, I
20:59
like walking outside with the dogs.
21:01
Okay, great.
21:03
Let's do that. Let's do that once a
21:05
week.
21:06
Okay, now we're going to do that maybe
21:07
twice a week. What's just your one
21:10
little thing? Maybe it's just I really
21:12
love having coffee in the morning.
21:14
Great. Do that without your phone. Yeah.
21:17
Just sit there,
21:19
enjoy your coffee,
21:20
put your creamer in it, and just take
21:23
your 10 to 15 minutes of your joy,
21:27
and then build on that.
21:29
>> Yeah. Because I am super guilty of it.
21:32
Well, if I'm going to do one thing, why
21:34
don't I just do 10 things that will make
21:36
it better?
21:37
And then I get overwhelmed, and then I
21:39
don't do it.
21:41
So, that's where And then, okay, so I
21:42
like walking the dogs great in the
21:43
morning. Oh, you know what? I really
21:45
like um
21:48
Somebody suggested a girl that works for
21:50
us, Kelly. She's she's a big reader.
21:53
And I'm like, I don't really like
21:54
reading. But it's because I didn't know
21:56
what I liked to read. And it took me a
21:58
minute to figure out what my genre is of
22:01
what I enjoyed. That's a big word.
22:02
That's a big word.
22:03
I learned that in a book.
22:06
But So, then it took me a minute, okay,
22:08
I like to read.
22:10
But I realized I didn't From From
22:12
before, I didn't like reading because I
22:13
wasn't picking up books I liked to read.
22:16
I was reading books I felt like I should
22:18
read. Like the classics or maybe murder
22:21
mystery or whatever. I'm like, I don't
22:22
enjoy that.
22:23
Do what you, you know, find your joy.
22:25
What is that? And just take little baby
22:27
bites of it, right? Yeah. Um I want to
22:29
talk about the reasons
22:32
Okay. of that we don't
22:35
have community or that we're too busy or
22:40
why maybe this has kind of just like
22:42
taken over our lives before we even
22:44
looked up and noticed it. And the first
22:46
one is, obviously,
22:48
we don't have time. Yeah. Well, I would
22:49
love to go do this, but I just don't
22:51
have time.
22:52
>> Yeah.
22:53
And what I've realized is, well, we make
22:55
the time for the things that are
22:56
important. Like, I always find time to
22:58
eat.
22:59
I You know, we sleep. We we do find time
23:04
for what we deem is important. So,
23:09
how do we make time? Do we just
23:10
rearrange our our focus?
23:13
Well, I think first you I'd rather I'd
23:15
put it on list and I'd say, "Okay,
23:19
what is the most important thing in my
23:20
life?"
23:22
I'm going to write write it down. God.
23:25
Second thing,
23:26
Shannon.
23:29
And then I'm going to think,
23:30
"How do I
23:32
leave time for these folks in my life?
23:34
Shut off something else to where I can
23:36
have more time for enjoyment to be
23:39
around others.
23:41
What can I do for those people that
23:43
ain't even on the list?
23:46
I mean, sure we got a good neighbor
23:48
across road.
23:50
But,
23:50
what about the neighbor that's 4 miles
23:52
over yonder? Have we ever met him?
23:54
No, cuz we didn't think we had time to
23:56
go over.
23:57
How how do you how do you break it down
24:00
to where you think, "This is what
24:01
matters in a day. Okay, 30 minutes here,
24:04
30 minutes here, 30 minutes here, 30
24:06
Yeah, I don't think you can go by
24:07
clock."
24:07
>> No, and see I'm a big I'm a big time
24:10
blocker and like scheduler. But, it's
24:11
not it's for something like that it's
24:13
not it's not feasible. And I just go
24:15
back to the like just once a week. Yeah.
24:18
Make an idea make a little note. Like
24:21
once a week I'm going to call somebody I
24:24
haven't talked to in a while. I'm going
24:25
to leave a sticky note for somebody that
24:27
I I work with that just said, "Hey, I
24:30
appreciate your work." or have you know,
24:32
have a good day. Just one little thing,
24:34
do it once a week. That's it. So, here
24:36
we are. Let let's just recap real quick.
24:38
Or no, first of all,
24:40
one meal a week, if you just want to do
24:42
that.
24:43
Put your phone somewhere secret, safe,
24:45
away. Okay, check. The other one is for
24:48
15 minutes,
24:50
you can do it a day or maybe just start
24:52
with a week. Find your joy. Remember
24:54
it's not cup of the coffee, it's walking
24:55
the dogs. And then once a week you're
24:58
just going to make a little reach out to
24:59
somebody. That's it.
25:02
Yeah. So, you've already like totally
25:03
transformed with just
25:05
>> No. I mean, I feel good about it right
25:06
now.
25:08
>> [laughter]
25:10
>> You feel good, huh? The other thing is
25:13
the thing the feeling is, well, it's not
25:15
good enough. And I am totally in this
25:17
boat. Well, I would love to have invite
25:20
somebody over,
25:22
but it's not going to be good enough,
25:24
and I have to make this big meal, and I
25:26
have to clean the house, and like now
25:28
I'm overwhelmed, and forget it.
25:31
It's not going to be good enough. Well,
25:33
I think first of all,
25:35
if you're inviting somebody over that
25:37
you think you have to impress, you're
25:38
inviting the wrong folks.
25:39
>> Mhm.
25:41
People will come out of gratitude and
25:43
kindness if you
25:46
if you It goes back to like all them
25:47
cooking shows. If you have to dress
25:49
something up to make it
25:51
feel like it's right or better, so then
25:52
people will be pleased, there's wrong
25:54
people. And I'm not saying there's a lot
25:56
of wrong people out there. I'm just
25:57
saying that maybe we're putting it out
25:59
that way. I think we're putting way too
26:01
much pressure on ourselves.
26:02
>> Yeah. You just
26:04
If you want to do something like, I'm
26:05
going to invite these people.
26:08
I may not be the best cook in the world,
26:09
and my house ain't the cleanest, my
26:11
house ain't the biggest, my house needs
26:12
painting, pickup's got a flat, there's
26:14
some weeds in the front yard. Doesn't
26:16
matter.
26:16
>> inviting them for?
26:18
Are you inviting them over to judge your
26:19
house? Are you inviting them in your
26:21
house to say, "Hey, I want to welcome
26:22
y'all into my home. We're going to sit
26:24
down, visit, have a cup of coffee, and
26:26
then we're just going to just go out on
26:27
the back porch." And I'll tell you that
26:29
will weed out the good folks or the bad
26:31
folks in your life really quickly. And
26:33
then you'll find figure out who you need
26:35
to be spending time with.
26:36
>> Yeah, I mean, I'm all for us helping
26:39
everyone.
26:41
But I wrote this in a post not long ago,
26:42
too. There's so many people that
26:45
uh
26:47
they think they don't have the time
26:49
for anything smaller in life.
26:53
Sometimes some of the hardest things for
26:55
you to find and do are some of the
26:56
smallest things you ever see.
26:59
And what I mean by that,
27:01
some of the smallest things we can do
27:03
for people can turn into the biggest
27:05
blessings ever. Mhm. So, it's not like
27:08
finding a needle in a haystack. It ain't
27:09
that hard. Kindness, gracious, manners,
27:14
and putting it out there.
27:15
One of the the final thoughts I had on
27:18
the reasons that we've kind of gotten
27:19
away from the community culture is
27:23
um
27:24
we're we just got out of the habit.
27:26
Yeah. You know, and that just sounds so
27:28
simple, but it's kind of true. Like when
27:30
you said growing up, it was just habit.
27:32
Drop by every Sunday. Swing by the house
27:35
here. Talk to your neighbor. It was just
27:37
like ingrained into a daily habit.
27:42
>> Yeah.
27:42
And we started getting away from that.
27:46
And then before we know it, we look up
27:47
and we don't know who our neighbors are.
27:49
We don't know who our husband is. We
27:52
don't know what the kids are doing. You
27:54
know, like it's hard.
27:56
Yeah, it's um How do we get back in the
27:58
habit though?
27:59
Start a little bit at a time. Yeah.
28:02
I mean,
28:03
I'm not asking people to go to cold
28:05
turkey
28:06
and go burn their their phone up in the
28:07
fire, you know? But
28:11
there's other ways to unplug. If you're
28:13
in a house,
28:15
you're married, if you're single, got
28:17
children, you ain't got no children, you
28:18
got a cat, got a dog,
28:21
just
28:22
even if it's a TV dinner. And let me
28:24
tell you folks, I do love me some TV
28:26
dinners.
28:26
>> You do. Your Hungry Man is your favorite
28:29
thing ever.
28:30
>> Because it brings back childhood
28:31
memories. But
28:32
>> And that's not cheating. Uh No. Get you
28:34
a TV dinner.
28:36
Sit down there at that table.
28:39
If you got somebody there with you,
28:41
reach out and grab them by the hand and
28:43
tell them,
28:44
"Thank you so much for being here with
28:46
me today.
28:48
Thank you for being a light in my life.
28:51
And if you're by yourself,
28:52
bow your head and you say, "Thank you,
28:55
God, for being here with me today.
28:57
Thank you for lighting my world so that
28:59
others can see that light around me."
29:02
It's just simple. That's all we have to
29:05
do.
29:05
Life has got too complicated in
29:07
everything for me. I think if if you
29:10
just
29:12
take a deep breath
29:14
and let it all the way out and then
29:16
think to yourself,
29:18
"What could I do without
29:21
more and what could I put in my life
29:24
more that would make a difference?" I
29:25
hear people tell me now, you know,
29:27
"We've limited our child to 4 hours a
29:29
day
29:31
on them video games."
29:33
My daddy would not limit us to 4 hours
29:35
on a post hole digger. He'd put eight
29:37
in, you know.
29:39
Get them folks a job. I'm going to tell
29:41
you. But
29:42
don't when you're in the fast lane,
29:45
if you just stay in it,
29:47
you ain't never going to get off.
29:49
Not till you run plumb out of gas. I
29:51
think what
29:53
to do is just to be aware. Yeah. Just be
29:58
aware like maybe it's a little too fast.
30:01
Or hey, maybe I need to reach out to my
30:03
friend. You know, that I think that's
30:06
the biggest thing is just to kind of
30:07
switch gears a little bit. And just keep
30:11
that in the front of your mind like,
30:13
"Hey,
30:13
this week I'm just going to do one good
30:16
thing. I'm going to reach out to one
30:17
friend. I'm going to sit for
30:20
15 minutes and just enjoy being."
30:25
But tell that to other people
30:27
because
30:28
it is contagious. Absolutely. And if
30:30
they can catch on,
30:32
you can change a lot of things in the
30:33
world. And I do want to say, like this
30:36
is not a guilt trip in any way to anyone
30:39
because we are both
30:42
guilty of I mean we're sitting here and
30:44
like oh yeah just reach out and do this.
30:46
Well gosh I mean you know we're guilty
30:49
of it too. Yeah. So this isn't a
30:51
perfectionist telling you like what
30:53
you're doing wrong.
30:55
It
30:56
you you have a busy life. You have kids.
30:59
You have family. You have a crazy job.
31:02
So like absolutely.
31:03
Um
31:04
it
31:05
and there is conveniences that you need
31:07
to take to feel sane. Yeah. Um this
31:09
isn't about telling you like you're
31:11
doing a bad job because you haven't
31:12
called your friend this week. No. This
31:15
is just like this is a reminder that
31:18
you're doing a good job.
31:20
Your life is crazy and it's okay to slow
31:23
down. Yeah. There's two things I wish
31:26
I really always had in life that would
31:28
really help.
31:29
One was a rewind button
31:31
and the other was always a rearview
31:33
mirror.
31:35
Because
31:36
my grandmother would tell me you can
31:37
always learn a lot by looking back.
31:40
But sometimes
31:41
you can't see it.
31:44
And we we focus on so much of what is
31:46
in front of us. You know and that's
31:48
fine. Don't turn loose steering wheel
31:50
right now I promise you. Uh but
31:52
sometimes you need to look back.
31:56
Cuz
31:57
if there was something there that was
31:59
hard that you went through I bet it
32:00
taught you a lesson
32:02
good or bad. If there was something
32:03
there that meant a lot to you
32:06
it brought you a lot of joy.
32:08
So don't be afraid to hit the rewind
32:10
button.
32:11
And hopefully there was somebody there
32:13
like a good neighbor that was helping
32:15
you along during that time. I I love
32:16
these podcasts cuz we get to visit with
32:18
people. Mhm. You know.
32:20
And you brought this out for me a long
32:22
time ago because I didn't
32:25
I didn't know I was a writer.
32:27
You know. Not a horse writer I mean like
32:29
one of them With pen and paper. Yes. But
32:32
I love to write things.
32:34
And uh
32:35
we I do post them on our YouTube page.
32:38
Every Sunday this one comes out, you
32:40
know, just like the podcast.
32:41
>> On the community tab, you write a little
32:43
story every Sunday. And this one was
32:45
about
32:46
really
32:48
manners and helping people. And I got
32:50
this comment from this guy who
32:53
really
32:54
it just
32:56
touched me to know that
32:58
you can reach a lot of people.
33:01
And you don't have to be on social
33:02
media.
33:04
You can and it cuz you can help one
33:06
person and then he tells another person
33:08
and he tells another person. But his
33:11
comment meant so much in a busy world
33:13
and when you think you ain't got time
33:16
something something can take place.
33:18
>> Yeah, so I'm going to read it. This came
33:19
from Bobby Boyd and it was posted on our
33:21
YouTube channel.
33:23
He said, "I was in the hospital with a
33:25
very serious case. I had a collapsed
33:26
lung. I had to had three surgeries to
33:29
save me. Second morning after my
33:31
surgery, my wife called and said, 'Bob,
33:33
we have trouble.' A thousand things that
33:35
ran through my mind. She sell tells me
33:38
that we have a water leak in the front
33:40
yard on our side of the meter. I I told
33:42
her, 'Okay, not to worry. I'll get a
33:45
plumber out to fix the problem.'
33:46
Meanwhile, he's laying in a hospital
33:48
bed.
33:49
So, after calling every plumber I could
33:51
think of, not one of them was able to do
33:54
it. I called my wife back and told her I
33:56
couldn't find one.
33:58
I even tried to call a friend to fix it,
34:00
but he was out of town.
34:02
He called her back to tell her all this
34:05
and she was very happy on the phone. And
34:08
she said, 'Our neighbor from down the
34:09
road saw the leak, stopped, and took
34:12
care of the leak.' I felt like I had
34:15
been given the greatest gift of all. He
34:17
wouldn't take any money. He told me
34:19
that's just what neighbors do to help in
34:21
times of need and I thanked him and I
34:23
thanked the Lord for bringing Don Clark
34:25
into our life.
34:27
What an amazing example of what a good
34:30
neighbor is and how we can help each
34:32
other out. So simple and so easy to do.
34:35
I mean, uh,
34:37
you know, good on Don. Let's all be a
34:39
Don Clark, guys.
34:41
Because, I mean, now that was a bigger
34:43
thing, but you know, like, how great
34:46
that he could use his talents to help
34:49
somebody. And I think that's another
34:50
thing, too. What is your talent?
34:53
What is it something that you can share?
34:55
Because when you share your talent, that
34:58
feels really good. It's almost a little
35:00
selfish in a way. You know, like, I my
35:02
big thing is I try different bread
35:05
recipes out.
35:07
And when I find one, I kind of make a
35:08
lot and then I give them to people and
35:10
it makes me feel so good cuz like
35:12
they're getting a gift, but then I'm
35:13
like, Oh, I did I made that.
35:16
You know? And it's little things like
35:18
that and it it's a domino effect.
35:22
If you if you do some goodness
35:25
and you provide that goodness to someone
35:28
else,
35:29
it rubs off. Mhm.
35:31
And they're going to give it to somebody
35:32
else and then somebody else.
35:35
Like Mr. Rogers said,
35:38
"Will you be my neighbor?"
35:41
Do you know your neighbor across the
35:42
road? Do you know your neighbor next
35:44
door or downstairs in that apartment? If
35:47
you don't, it don't take long to meet
35:49
them.
35:50
And it would mean a
35:52
a lot to both of you in the end. Okay,
35:55
so I'm going to So, our call to action
35:57
as we've said, guys, like pick one of
35:59
the things that we've mentioned today
36:01
and just do it. Call a friend, make go
36:04
meet your neighbor, bring them some
36:05
cookies. They can be store-bought
36:07
cookies. You don't have to make them.
36:09
Sit down, find your joy. Any one of
36:12
those things. Just start with one. Yeah.
36:14
So, but like we can't sit here and
36:16
preach. I'm not preaching. What What are
36:19
we going to do this week? Go Here's the
36:22
thing, we moved here a year ago and we
36:24
have have met all of our neighbors.
36:26
>> No. Let's go meet one new neighbor this
36:28
week. And we take them something. Suits
36:31
me. Maybe I'll take them my bread that
36:33
I've been making. We'll go Okay, so
36:34
everybody check right on the far end.
36:36
Check us on this. We're saying it live.
36:39
This week we're going to go. I'm going
36:41
to make bread and we're going to go take
36:42
it to a new neighbor we haven't met. So,
36:44
we're in this with you. Don't get
36:46
overwhelmed, okay?
36:47
>> I mean
36:48
that's a lot of it. Piles up on your
36:49
plate. Just keeps getting there and
36:51
getting there and you don't know where
36:52
to put the dishes, but just
36:55
take a minute every day,
36:57
10 minutes, 30 minutes, slow down.
37:01
Shannon always tells me, "You're talking
37:03
too fast. Slow down." I said, "Okay."
37:06
Uh
37:07
don't don't let the world run over you
37:10
because a lot of times it will if you're
37:12
in the fast lane too long.
37:14
Put it in reverse. Back up.
37:16
Uh
37:17
thank God for everything you got because
37:19
we thank God that y'all are here, that
37:21
are listening. Remember you're not in
37:23
this fast-paced world alone. He is with
37:26
you and we are with you. We thank each
37:28
and every one of you so much for tuning
37:31
in.
37:32
Uh give us a good rating. Yeah, if you
37:34
guys could just take a second and give
37:37
us a like or leave a rating, that really
37:39
helps our channel and it doesn't take
37:42
you but a second. So. But it is with
37:45
pride, honor, and privilege that I tip
37:47
my hat to all the servicemen and women
37:48
and all the veterans that have kept that
37:50
old flag a-flying wherever you may be.
37:52
We commend you all and we'll lift you up
37:54
in prayer daily.
37:56
Thank you so much, Shannon. I learned
37:58
something today. I'm going to slow down.
38:00
Sounds good. God bless each and every
38:02
one of you and we'll see you down the
38:03
podcast trail.
38:05
>> [music]
38:13
[music]
38:14
>> Pioneer.
#People & Society