0:00
since we're in Byzantium there's
0:02
something up but I haven't actually
0:07
talked to my folks in a while anyway
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it's probably about time I paid them a
0:12
given the dangers like whoa let's calm
0:20
down I'm not asked I'm just suggesting
0:22
we stop by see I'm originally from
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Byzantium born and raised I know that
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I dropped the accent picked up a swagger
0:43
huh well I bet they won't know the
1:10
it's well they don't mean as Marilyn the
1:14
surgeon they don't know le but you your
1:18
authentic rabble true riffraff when they
1:28
I didn't leave home and become a pirate
1:30
because I enjoy making respond of course
1:37
I mean not unless you want to bring a
1:39
feral canid or a mantis or no leash
1:45
great if you've got an outfit you
1:48
haven't washed in a while maybe one with
1:50
some blood stain oh and help yourself to
1:58
the good snacks and put your feet on the
2:00
coffee table mother that's the ID
2:06
anything it's like one of those stuffy
2:12
art gallery pieces looks okay from far
2:15
off but once even the bribes are the
2:19
real question is why did there's all
2:22
these invisible rules and everyone
2:23
spends all their energy I was a top-tier
2:29
surgeon but I could hardly open a pack
2:31
of gauze without ten that's no way to
2:36
live people call Byzantium the
2:38
everything's polished in bureaucracy
2:43
don't trust anyone don't touch anything
2:45
and whatever you do don't show people
2:50
are extremely competitive about cosmetic
2:56
interesting like a : Oscars idea
3:15
hey it's not all it's cracked up to be
3:18
didn't help that most of my actual work
3:20
was tightening calves and firming up
3:22
chin turns out Byzantines are more
3:24
concerned with having square shoulders
3:25
and a good profile then that's what I've
3:31
been saying we certainly didn't expect
3:41
to see you like this and I didn't expect
3:44
you to renew your marriage contract but
3:47
we're all full of surprises today aren't
3:49
we speaking of surprises you should meet
3:53
my new friend we've been running around
3:55
the system for a while now stirring up
3:58
all sorts of trouble I don't know what
4:04
to say he's usually not like this come
4:07
on you're supposed to help me make an
4:09
impression anyway you're probably
4:11
wondering where I've been all this time
4:14
not exactly the last few years have been
4:19
a bloody haze you wouldn't believe the
4:22
messes we've gotten ourselves into right
4:33
are you trying to make me look bad
4:36
Marilyn this really isn't the best time
4:39
perhaps you should go we'll stay as long
4:49
as we like and while we're at it we'll
4:52
drink your expensive hooch we're are
4:54
outside shoes all over your nice floors
5:06
it's the floors you had the floors
5:11
redone with real tear and marble since
5:14
when can you afford that that's what
5:16
we've been trying to tell you dear but
5:18
you must understand we hadn't heard from
5:21
you in ages we thought you were dead I'm
5:31
not dead I just never wanted to talk to
5:34
I'm afraid the distinction was lost on
5:46
we only did what any grieving parents in
5:49
our position would do we collected on
5:52
your life insurance policy and the
5:55
payouts have been rather substantial you
6:06
well now that I'm here I guess you'll
6:08
just have to report back that I'm very
6:10
much alive and kicking it's not that
6:15
simple over one thing we'd have to cut
6:18
back on so many necessities the
6:22
neighbors would be shorter notice
6:27
why did you do that we had to explain
6:31
your disappearance somehow we couldn't
6:34
very well tell people you'd you'd run
6:36
off to become a miscreant could we
6:45
the neighbors would talk and not in a
6:49
we concocted a story about Celeste jolly
6:53
girl designing a pair of 12-inch heels
6:55
for you a one of a kind naturally that
7:00
led to your tragic death when you
7:02
tripped and broke your neck it was quite
7:06
the story people were talking about it
7:12
couldn't you have at least made up a
7:15
something with pirates or rapped it ons
7:18
and what are you gonna do now that we're
7:21
here yes about that we were just about
7:26
to ask you to leave and quietly if you
7:37
I'm afraid it would cause quite a stir
7:39
if the neighbors saw you two stomping
7:42
about that's it you just want us to
7:45
disappear now Marilyn please don't cause
7:57
I'm gone forever this time
8:09
can you believe those two we'd hardly
8:12
been there a minute and they turned us
8:14
out like yesterday's garbage
8:21
I thought they'd be scandalized they'd
8:27
both be sitting there watching one of
8:29
their vapid Etherwave dramas and then
8:32
we'd walk in mother would drop her mock
8:35
apple cider and the glass would shatter
8:38
all over their overpriced marble father
8:41
would tear off his glasses and blink
8:43
open-mouthed I'd have a great one-liner
8:52
I was thinking either the leathers fake
8:55
but the scars are real or oops did I
8:58
just track awesome onto your rug
9:06
father would throw his hands up because
9:08
this would be just like me to come back
9:10
and make a big scene then mother would
9:14
do the old you had us worried sick her
9:17
eyes would be red and she'd have her
9:19
fist in front of her mouth
9:27
I'm not hurt I'm outraged
9:31
affronted even I just didn't want to get
9:35
booted out of the house I grew up in
9:37
like that it's embarrassing you know and
9:40
I've got a reputation to maintain
9:49
I'd love to know how you describe
9:58
I know I know this whole experience is
10:02
stuck in my head like a bad jingle just
10:05
needs something worse to get it out
10:18
there that's what I was talking about
10:20
really though unless you mean the kind
10:23
who look out for you to blink so they
10:25
could swipe your bits the galaxy's not
10:27
exactly crawling with those anyway I
10:30
don't want to sift through this lousy
10:31
experience for meaningful life lessons
10:34
I'm mad and I want to do something about
10:37
it something like wait a second what if
10:42
I could get that money
10:53
let's look at this as an advance on my
10:55
dying eventually besides if anyone
10:59
deserves to profit off my death it's me
11:02
I could open a new account designate
11:05
that account holder as a sole
11:07
beneficiary all the payouts would go to
11:09
me I'll make money without doing a thing
11:12
and I'll get to cut them off you know me
11:23
captain I don't like to leave a debt
11:25
unpaid my policy is with the greater
11:29
Halcyon Insurance Group they have an
11:31
office in Byzantium maybe you could use
11:34
some of your people skills to help me
11:37
set up a dummy beneficiary account if
11:39
that doesn't work I'm sure we can find
11:42
one of their terminals and do it
11:48
what a relief the less time we have to
11:51
spend in Byzantium the better something
12:02
I need to get my money or what I see
12:05
you're still in one piece however you
12:06
never know when that could chain note
12:08
that all I remember that one that's the
12:13
young socialite of course no one
12:15
remembers me for the marauders I've
12:16
killed are the bits I've stolen typical
12:19
that claim was airtight our best
12:22
investigators couldn't find an exclusion
12:31
are you serious well we interviewed the
12:35
parents extensively they had plenty of
12:38
awkward childhood stories that
12:39
Illustrated their daughters clumsiness
12:41
and capriciousness hey those are
12:44
entirely made up furthermore the claim
12:47
spurred a whole line of fashion related
12:49
policies it's become a very lucrative
12:52
market you can't of course only miss fen
12:58
hell can assign her beneficiaries and
12:59
she said if we let every friend relative
13:03
and acquaintance change a policy like
13:05
that people would do it all the time
13:06
imagine the paperwork oh you mean
13:13
hypothetically well hypothetically you'd
13:17
access the terminal in the backroom that
13:20
contains data on all our policies and
13:22
you'd theoretically add the beneficiary
13:25
of your choice but you wouldn't actually
13:28
do that of course that would be fraud
13:40
please my policy only covers paper cuts
13:43
and wrist strain very well I'll do it
13:46
but then you've got to go confrontations
13:49
like this will raise my premiums I'll
13:51
need the name of the new beneficiary a
13:55
leaf n Hill if you say so the payouts
14:00
will flow exclusively into the new
14:01
account at the start of the month
14:03
I hope Ms fen Hill enjoys her newfound
14:06
prosperity you really did it
14:13
give these payouts a few years and I'll
14:16
be rolling in it Hey
14:27
you did the real work all I had to do is
14:29
not be dead I'm just glad my folks
14:32
aren't gonna live off that awful story
14:35
maybe now it'll have to go back to real
14:48
maybe is lying holders or warm bodies
14:54
come on I thought we were celebrating
14:56
huh you want me to think about the
14:58
future you talk like someone who likes
15:06
lists maybe you haven't noticed but you
15:09
can't even count on a bride making it
15:11
into the right pocket what's the point
15:13
of planning for anything around here
15:18
hate to say it but house seems already
15:21
there anyway enough of that you did a
15:25
job for me so here's your fee
15:31
don't make it weird even you've got to
15:33
be in it for the money now and then why
15:35
else would you go through all this
15:42
you sure because my kind of friends will
15:45
pick your pocket clean while they're
15:46
getting hammered with you
15:58
you don't have to get all mushy about it
16:02
still maybe you've got a point
16:04
maybe it's good to watch someone's back
16:06
now and then so that one day they watch
16:08
yours so you just keep the money one of
16:13
us has to look out for your interests
16:21
really this feels weird enough as it is
16:26
something on your mouth
