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Husbands, Love your wives As Christ Loved the Church- the implications
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Feb 20, 2025
This study stems from a rebuke I received from the Lord several months ago as it pertains to loving my wife His way. He led me to a few passages in the Old Testament to give me a better understanding of what Christ love for us is like. Understanding Christ love for the church will lead any Christian husband to loving his wife as presented by Paul in Ephesians For more info visit http://tayibs.com/2018/10/23/husbands-love-your-wives-as-christ-loved-the-church-the-implications/
View Video Transcript
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hello good morning and this is ty even
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today we're gonna be looking at
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Ephesians 5 verse 25 to 33 and this is
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the scripture that a lot of people have
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used on before and you're familiar with
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it it's a his husband's I love your
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wives as Christ loved the church and
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then he goes on to explain everything in
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there so um I wanted to talk about that
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this morning because um let me get to it
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just give me one second now like it's
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why I want to talk about it because a
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few months ago I received a rebuke from
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the Lord Himself you know I'm not a
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didn't hear voice but I was convicted in
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my own heart as it pertains to the way I
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loved my own wife at home so he led me
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it's like a few passages in the Old
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Testament to give me a better
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understanding of what he are what
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Christ's love for me is like she
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pretends of how to love my wife Christ's
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way and to understand I had to go
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through a series of questions myself
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that I have to like ask myself to see if
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what I was standing and it wasn't a
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pleasurable thing to do because you
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think that you're doing this the right
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thing and you you have your own standard
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in your own mind and then God comes and
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then tells you listen this is the way I
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want you to do things this is the way I
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want you to go so that that Ephesians
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passage is loaded with a lot of things
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and I don't want to to be the one to to
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kind of soften up or or make lighter
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things you know what I mean I want to
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look at things like honey deeper in a
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deeper way and thus one of the things
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that I've been really on my heart as of
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late I now feel like sometimes we read
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the scriptures and we just go through it
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like it's just eating pancakes or
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whatever we just don't even take our
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time to really understand what the
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passage means
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and now again I don't claim to know
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everything that's know my what my claim
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is my thing is this to understand the
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Scriptures we have to take the time to
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sit and ask God to instruct our mind so
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we can understand what he is trying to
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say in 2nd Timothy 2:15 he says
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correctly divide the Word of God and
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this is what we need to do spend time in
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it alright so I won't waste your time
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any longer let's get to it and let's
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understand what this is all about this
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morning so what I do is are I'm gonna
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share my screen and we're gonna go from
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there all right
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let's do that now so the first thing I
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want to do is this like um again I
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created a slide to help me like to give
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me directions because I get confused
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many times when I when I put things I
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think I need to get my thoughts
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organized so I have to like create some
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kind of a slide to guide me I so the
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first question is this what does it mean
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to love your wives as Christ loved the
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church alright so first you know what
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let me go and actually read Ephesians 5
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for you 25 to 33 he says here husbands
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love your wife you love your wives as
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Christ loved the church and gave himself
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up for her that he might sanctify her
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having cleansed her by the washing of
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water with the word so that he might
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present the church to himself in
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splendor without spot or wrinkle or any
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such thing that she might be holy and
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without blemish okay I'm gonna stop here
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for now and and I'm gonna go to the to
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the slide and I'll get back to it at
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some point so here's the question what
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does this mean and I say you know for us
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to understand what love is presented by
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Paul in Ephesians mean we need to
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understand what is love is not like
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basically it's like a juxtaposition if
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you want to understand what is love that
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he's talking about is like you need to
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understand what this love is not like
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and to do that I'm gonna be looking at a
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dark story that took place in the book
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of Samuel is in 2nd Samuel 13 1 to 19 so
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we're gonna read the entire verse
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the entire passage and we're gonna we're
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gonna talk about it alright so it takes
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place in in the book of Samuel now
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Absalom is David's son his firstborn son
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and he had a half-sister Henry Moore's
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tomorrow so I'm gonna take him from
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there read it now Absalom David's son
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had a beautiful sister whose name was
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Tamar and after a time
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I'm known David son loved her now
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Absalom was not his first son Absalom
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was one of David's son what I'm nan was
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his firstborn son so I want to correct
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that okay I apologize so after a time
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I'm not David son loved his firstborn
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son basically and Amnon was so tormented
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that he made himself
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ill because of his sister Tamar for she
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was a virgin and he seemed impossible to
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I want to do anything to her but I'm not
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had a friend whose name was jonadab the
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son of she mayor David's brother and
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Jonah dad was a very crafty man and he
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said to him all son of the king
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why are you so hey girl morning after
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morning will you not tell me and I'm
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gonna say to him I loved him oh my
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brother Absalom sister and John and I
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upset him lie down your bed and pretend
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to be ill and when your father comes to
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see you say to him let my sister Tamar
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come and give me bread to eat and
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prepare the food in my sight
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the Rama seed and eat it from her hand
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so I'm gonna lay down and pretended to
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be ill and when the king came to see him
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I'm gonna say to the king please let my
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sister Tamar come and make a couple of
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cakes in my sight that I may eat from
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her hand then David sent home to Tamar
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saying go to your parents house and
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prepare food form so table I went to her
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brother and where he was lying down and
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she took though and needed it and made
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cakes in his side and bake the cakes and
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she took the pan and MTV before him but
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he refused to eat and I'm gonna say it
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send out every one from me so everyone
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went out from him then amylin said to
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Tamar bring the food into the chamber
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and I may eat from your hand and Tamar
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took the cakes she had made and brought
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them into the chamber to I'm on her
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brother but when she brought them near
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to him to eat he took hold of her and
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said to her come lie with me my sister
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and she answered him no my brother do
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know
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violate me for such a thing is not done
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in Israel do not do this outrageous
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thing as for me where I carry my shame
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and as for you you be as one of the
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outrageous fools in Israel now therefore
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please speak to the king for him nor
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withhold me from you but he would not
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listen to her and being stronger than
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she was he violated her and laborer then
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a man hit her with a great hatred so
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that the hatred with which we wish he
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hated there was greater than the love
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with which he had loved her in the
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beginning and I'm gonna say to her get
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up and go what she said to him no more
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brother for this wrong for this wrong in
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sending me away is greater than the
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other thing you did to me but he will
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not listen to her he called a young man
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who served him and said put this woman
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out of my presence and bought the door
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after her now she was wearing a long
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robe with sleeves for this where the
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virgin daughters of the King dressed so
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his servant put her out and bolted the
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door after her and team up with a
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chignon her ashes on her head and
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thought a long robe that she wore and
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she laid her hand on her head and went
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away crying aloud as she went he said
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this is a very dark story I I don't even
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like reading in a lot because he makes
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me mad
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alright so now that I read it what do we
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learn about Amnon and his type of love
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now in 2nd Samuel 13 1 2 he says and
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after a time Amnon David son loved her
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and Amnon was so tormented that he made
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himself
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ill because of his sister Tamar for she
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was a virgin and it seemed impossible to
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I want to do anything to her so the key
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words are highlighted our love tormented
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and impossible to do anything now am i
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this is this is what I know love does
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not have any connection with torment and
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impossible to do anything whatsoever
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like what I'm trying to say is this like
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when you have love you can have love and
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his torment in this kind of step in the
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same sentence
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so what I'll say is this I'll go ahead
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and characterize this type of love as
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lost because Adams only restraint was
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that it was impossible for him to do
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anything to his sister because she lived
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in a separate place alongside the other
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virgin daughters for the King so
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that means that if he was given the
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opportunity to do something he would
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so the his audience strength was that he
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could not get close enough to his sister
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and saying like I said we know how the
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story goes
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John Adair was an evil guy devises an
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awful plane so I'm not gonna get the
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chance to get close to his sister and he
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proceeds to violate her now right before
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the violation takes place we're gonna
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talk we're gonna talk about what how
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Tama defended herself all right so we're
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gonna talk about that now he says when
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she brought the bread near him to eat he
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took hold of her and said to her come
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live with me my sister and she answered
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him no my brother do not violate me for
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such a thing is not done in Israel do
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not do this outrageous thing as for me
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where I carry my shame and as for you
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you will be as one of the outrageous
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fools in Israel
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now therefore speak to the king for
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Hyuna withhold me from you but he will
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not listen to her and then you know why
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I once now she desperately tried to
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prevent this this thing from happening
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and and then like I highlighted it's
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like this world here in red for a reason
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and I'm gonna tell you why and she said
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like no my brother to no valid me for
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such a thing is not done in Israel now
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she was quoting scriptures to her
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brother in order to help him snap out of
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this lost but he wouldn't listen
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and God has specifically instructed the
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Israelite against approaching close
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right close relatives to solicit sexual
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favors we can see in like Leviticus 18 6
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to 14 I actually had a passage for you
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so we're gonna we're gonna look at it
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real quick
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he says here none of you shall approach
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any one of your close relatives to
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uncover nakedness I am the Lord I am the
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Lord and you shall not uncover the
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nakedness of your father which is the
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nakedness of your mother she is your
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mother
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you shall not do there you shall not
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uncover the nakedness of your father's
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wife it is your father's nakedness and
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you shall not uncover the nakedness of
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your sister so I'm not know knew all
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about it and that's what his sister was
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quoting to him when she was saying all
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this here and that's what she implied
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when you use when
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she used those word that's exactly what
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she was trying to say to him like look
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do not do this because you know what the
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Lord said about you touching me as your
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sister you can't do this but he will
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listen and then she does the one last
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thing that she does kind of broke my
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heart like when I understood what was
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happening while I was taking place there
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and they were gonna look at it now in
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2nd Samuel 13 between verse 20 13 and 14
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she says now therefore please speak to
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the king for he will not withhold me
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from you but he will not listen to her
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and her and being stronger than she was
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evaluated her and labor now the next
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thing she does the verse above once
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you're on it understanding will break
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your heart see I'm no worse a spoiled
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brat like if you look at a passage like
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David basically gate give him everything
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you want it it was like a little baby
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kind of thing right and so since then I
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couldn't succeed in reasoning with her
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brother she no I told him about the
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scripture he won't listen so she used
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the only thing she thought I could
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restrain him basically she was implying
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look brother dad loves him would give
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you anything you want and he won't keep
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me from you ask him me let's get married
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the right way so she was trying to like
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look I'm gonna try to talk about how
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much dad loves him so dad can so that he
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can kind of like snap out of this
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because she was saying to him dad lost
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you and dad would give you anything he
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would even give me to you but even then
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that wouldn't stop him like I don't
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think like in my own I don't think David
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would have allowed it because he knew
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about Leviticus 18 so Tim I was just
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trying to buy time so she'll escape her
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maniacal brother like she knew okay
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maybe if I talk about dad and how that
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gives him everything maybe they'll make
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him stop
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so that he can actually wait and say you
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know why yes let me marry you the right
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way so that way she can get out of his
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hands and then stop this thing from
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taking place because she was not trying
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to disobey the Lord so she was really
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trying to get out of it but he wouldn't
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listen and he still when I had and did
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what he did and that really broke my
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heart when I when I like when when I did
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this I finally understood what she was
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doing there really like
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I mean I was best man when when when I
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happened now okay let's let's continue
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now he says once he did what he did he
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grew to hate her and that's what really
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shocked me like he did what he did and
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now he goes from my lover in the
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beginning to hidden her so for me is
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this how do you go from loving someone
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to hitting them in such a short period
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of time he says I'm not going to hate
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his sister so quickly and this is why I
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think so because she exposed his evil
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deeds and Jesus said in John 7 7 the
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world cannot hate you but he hates me
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because I testified that it works are
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evil and that's exactly what's taking
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place tomorrow became almost like a
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mirror into Amon's own soul so therefore
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because he knew that what he was doing
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was so wrong he hated himself but yes
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why he disliked you know why I hate
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myself so much what I did now I'm gonna
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turn that hate towards my sister because
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every time I see her she's a reminder of
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what I did and who I am and what I've
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done and I can't stand it so therefore I
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wanna kick it out of my face because
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guess what he told him now that you've
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you've done what you've done you can't
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kick me out of your house keep me here
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because if you keep me out if you kick
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me out what's gonna happen out it's
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gonna be more shameful just keep me here
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now and he still wouldn't listen because
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he thought if I marry this woman now
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she's gonna I'm gonna every day I see
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her she's gonna be a reminder of what
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I've done so I want her out of my face
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so he kicked her out of the house and
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she bought the door behind her I don't
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want to see her again because she
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reminds me of my sin
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now you see what I'm saying does his own
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evil actions were the reason why he
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kicked her because he did not wanna see
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her again and he did not want to repent
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of his actions so therefore the the
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easiest thing for him to do was this to
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push her away and that's why a lot of
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people do
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they don't want to hear it they don't
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want to look and they keep you out of
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their sight they would keep the Word of
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God out of their sight I don't want to
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hear the word of God because it cuts me
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to the heart I don't want it
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so therefore the best thing to do
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suppress it to get me to get it out of
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their sight so they can just live their
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lives the way they want it they don't
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want to be accountable you know let's
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keep going
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so now the question is this what does
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that have to do with husbands and wives
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relationships like I say many will say
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to me type this is my wife and I'm
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lawfully married to my wife so what does
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have to do with me I'm not I'm not now
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the thing is this do you know that it is
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very possible to lust after your own
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wife and do you view your wife as a mere
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object for your own pleasure
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now do you protect and care for her in a
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shepherding way do you play with and for
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your wife do you read and Spana
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scriptures with your wife do you know
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that her body is the temple of the Holy
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Spirit and God takes this fact very
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seriously I should have put blessing in
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red here because this is what I was
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getting at your wife's body is the
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temple of the Holy Spirit
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now I actions toward your wife cousin
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cousin her to be holy or unholy now
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let's look at Ephesians on 525 227 he
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says husbands love your wives as Christ
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loved the church and gave himself up for
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her that he might sanctify her having
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cleansed her by the washing of water
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with the word so that he might present
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the church to himself in splendor
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without spot or wrinkle or any such
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thing that she might be holy and without
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blemish now less the less it is not the
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purpose of loving your wife as Christ
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loved the church
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now several folks have come across to
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misunderstand this verse and they
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utilize it the wrong way now some people
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think this means being a yes-man
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basically they defer their
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responsibilities or their leadership
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role in a marriage to the wife and do
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whatever pleases the wife verse
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misrepresenting what the meaning of the
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verse is now giving oneself up doesn't
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mean accepting everything the spouse
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once for the sake of avoiding her
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complex now some others give themselves
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up because of their own perverse motives
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they want a certain theme from their
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spouses and I wanted to sacrifice
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anything in order to get whatever
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pleasure we're feeling that one thing
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brings life I'm hitting close to home
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Hey look you know I'm not here to judge
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or any anything I'm just saying I'm just
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speaking what I read from from the
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scripture I'm not trying to create any
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kind of um this is not my own doing this
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is basically how the Lord has been
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instructing me all right let's keep
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going now love your wives as Christ
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loved the church now Christ our Lord did
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not lust after his bride the church but
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he loved her in order to make her holy
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you see that's what a lot of people
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forget he says her husband loves your
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wives as Christ loved the church in
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order to make her holy don't forget uh
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portion of the scripture you give up
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yourself in order to make your wife holy
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you don't give up yourself for your own
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pleasure or for your own agenda in order
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to make her holy why that's what Christ
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did right but he loved her in order to
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make her holy why that he might sanctify
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her that's why I Christ did what he did
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for the church haven't claimed her by
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the having planes her by the washing of
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water with the word why so that he might
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present the church to himself in
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splendor without spot or wrinkle or any
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such thing that she might be holy and
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without blemish you see Christ loved the
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church to make her holy a holy vessel
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for the Lord
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let's look at Psalm 23 and you know in
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order to understand what his love is all
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about let's go back he says in Psalm
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23rd 23 the Lord is my shepherd I shall
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not want he makes me lie down lie down
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in green pastures he leads me beside
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still waters he restores my soul he
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leads me in paths of righteousness for
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his namesake now this is the way
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husband's ought to love their wives in a
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shepherding way he carries the idea of
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protection
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safety caring loving the next not
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exposing your wife to wolves but rather
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garden her well as failed me but you get
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the point God has called us to be
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Shepherd of our own household but I
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understand it of law has been polluted
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and we need to go back to scriptures to
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understand what God desires for us so
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basically these are my concluding
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thoughts what I'm going to say is read
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Ephesians 5:23 2:35 and ask the Holy
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Spirit Himself to show you where you you
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are your father in your own marriage
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because this is important we are called
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to love our wives as Christ loved the
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church in order to make her holy a holy
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vessel for the Lord use was her body is
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the temple of the Holy Spirit I'm not in
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understand I am NOT did the opposite he
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gave his sister his sister ARCA for his
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own pleasures that's what he did he
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didn't give himself up for his sister's
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sake he did not protect his sister he
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knew the scriptures he knew all of it he
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ultimately died because Absalom his
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brother killed him you know but I'm like
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really really trying to get you to
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understand what God desires for us for
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our household is for us to be Shepherd
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in our own houses and loving our wives
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the right way our wives are not object
21:04
for our own pleasures and all these
21:06
other stuff yeah God gives us wives so
21:09
that we can have this intimate
21:10
relationship by the same time his main
21:13
purpose is for us to love our wives as
21:16
Christ loved the church in a in a pure
21:19
law that is not polluted it demands
21:22
sacrifice it demands caring it demands
21:24
guarding it demands protecting it
21:26
dimensioning it demands all that God has
21:29
to offer for us to keep her holy that's
21:33
the main main main thing to keep her
21:36
holy I hope this helps guys and if you
21:40
have any questions you want to talk
21:41
let's do that you know because I'm going
21:44
through the same thing with you it's not
21:46
like I'm like I'll figure this thing out
21:48
now I'm I'm learning what it means to
21:50
love my wife as Christ loved the church
21:52
all right
21:53
have a nice day and god bless you
#Family
#Marriage
#Religion & Belief