At His Retirement Party, My Husband Introduced His "Real Partner" — So I Toasted to His Safe

At my husband's retirement party, he tapped his glass: "Forty years, and the only thing she ever gave me was a headache. Meet Dana, my real partner." His girlfriend waved at me. I raised my glass too: "To Dana. May she enjoy what's in the safe." He stopped smiling. The safe was on a time lock until ten the next morning, and I was the one who had set it...