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many people after being in a
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relationship for some time privately
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admit to feeling frustrated or
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disappointed with their partner when
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asked for specifics they can quickly
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list complaints one their partner is too
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loyal to their irritating family two
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they disagree on the layout of the
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living room three they never want to go
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on camping holidays four they insist on
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playing tennis every Wednesday evening
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no matter what five they don't like
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Moroccan food six and they annoyingly
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add actually to every other sentence as
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the list grows they sigh they still love
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their partner and long for happiness
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together but feel it's impossibly
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complicated to make the relationship
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work the problem with unrealistic
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expectations what fuels this frustration
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isn't that they've chosen the wrong
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partner rather it's that Society has
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burdened us with unnecessarily
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complicated ideas about what
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relationships should be we've been
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taught to imagine that love means a near
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tootal merger of two lives that a loving
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couple must one live in the same house
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two share every meal three have all
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friends in common four always agree on
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topics from politics to TV shows while
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this Vision sounds beautiful it's also
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oppressive it places an impossibly heavy
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burden on one person to meet all our
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needs when they inevitably fall short we
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feel compelled to push and prod them
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into changing a simpler perspective
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there's a less complicated way to
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approach relationships one that focuses
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on what truly makes them fulfilling when
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stripped to their Essentials there are
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really just three critical elements one
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kindness a partner who is gentle with
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our imperfections someone who tolerates
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our quirks with good humor and patience
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two shared vulnerability someone we can
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be honest with about our anxieties fears
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and insecurities a partner who doesn't
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require us to put on a front and someone
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who feels safe enough to share their own
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vulnerabilities in return three
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understanding a partner who takes an
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interest in our minds who is curious
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about our obsessions quirks and ways of
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seeing the world world and whom we are
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equally excited to understand what
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relationship if these three ingredients
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are present we will feel loved and
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fulfilled even if differences arise in
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countless other areas a partner's Social
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Circle habits or tastes may not always
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align with ours but these things will
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seem trivial compared to the emotional
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Foundation we've built on the other hand
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if we lack kindness vulnerability and
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understanding even the most harmonious
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agreement on Hobbies values or
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Aesthetics won't prevent us from feeling
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disconnected a new vision for
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relationships a bond between two people
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doesn't need to involve every practical
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detail of life to be meaningful by
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simplifying what we expect a
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relationship to be we can escape
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unnecessary frustrations and conflicts a
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simpler yet deeply fulfilling
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relationship might look very different
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from conventional expectations one we
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might not socialize much together two we
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could live separately and meet meet just
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a few times a week three we might avoid
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scrutinizing each other's sex lives too
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closely and yet our time together could
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be profoundly gratifying because we
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would be in the presence of someone who
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knows how to be kind vulnerable and
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understanding by clarifying what
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relationships are truly for we free
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ourselves from needless complexity we
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can focus on our most urgent emotional
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needs to be sympathized with seen and
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understood what do you think truly
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matters in a relationship our kindness V
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vulnerability and understanding the
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foundations of Love In your experience
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share your thoughts in the comments
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below if this video helped you see
3:37
relationships differently like subscribe
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and share it with someone rethinking
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what love really means visit happily
3:43
lover for more insights on building
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meaningful connections
