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6 Things "Polite" Passengers Do That Drive Cruise Crew Crazy!
2K views
Jul 19, 2024
I used to think of myself as a considerate cruise passenger, trying to be polite and help make the crews’ jobs simpler, easier, and more pleasant. But I’ve had to reappraise what I was doing after a crew member discreetly told me on this cruise that I am on that some were having the opposite effect, and could get them into trouble with their boss, affect their ability to get a promotion, and even whether their contract would get renewed. Surprised by this, I asked the cruise director, waiters, shore excursion staff, guest services, guest entertainers and speakers, and of course my stateroom attendant, what well-intentioned things I was doing on a cruise that I should stop, and importantly be doing instead. The answers were eye-opening. For bonus & exclusive content (including videos, articles, eBooks and more) become a channel member or patron: --------------------------------------------------- * Patreon Patron: https://www.patreon.com/tipsfortravellers * YouTube Channel Member: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_qE-Obs2ocdmPXY0TIU-cw/join Check out my cruise-themed T-shirts and products: --------------------------------------------------- * T-Shirts: http://bit.ly/TFTStore * Mugs, notebooks, hoodies etc: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/tipsfortravellers?ref_id=22354 My social media: --------------------------------------------------- * Blog: https://www.tipsfortravellers.com * Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/garybembridge * Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/tipsfortravellers
View Video Transcript
0:00
I used to think of myself as a considerate cruise passenger, trying to be polite and help
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make the crew job simpler, easier and more pleasant. But I've had to totally reappraise what I was doing after a crew member discreetly told me
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on this cruise that I am on right now and recording this that some of the things I was doing
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were having the opposite effect and could get them into trouble with their boss, affect
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the ability to get a promotion, and even whether their contract would get renewed
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I'm surprised by this, I asked the cruise director, waiters, shore excursion staff, guest
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services, guest entertainers, guest speakers, and of course my state-room attendant, what
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well-intentioned things that I was doing on this cruise and on other cruises that I should stop
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but importantly, of course, what I should be doing instead. The answers I found eye-opening, and I think you will too
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Welcome aboard, I'm Gary Bembridge, helping you to get cruising right, including what
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well-meaning things we should all not be doing. As a Brit, I tend not to complain or like to cause a fuss
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However, everyone on board told me to stop being zoep alight and raise issues instead of just
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letting things go. For example, my cabin steward has asked me every day if everything was okay and as I wanted
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The other day I asked why he kept repeatedly asking me and he said usually there's always
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something a guest wants changed, sorted, fixed or done differently and he often finds that
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While many, many guests say that everything's fine, some do have issues and after the
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crews they complain about it in either online reviews or even worse, mention it in the
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post-cruise survey, which then feeds back negatively on him and can affect him negatively
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The point he's making is the crew cannot fix anything that they don't know about
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So he suggested, stop being so polite and raise any issues, something that every department
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I spoke to agreed with. And they say, also importantly, do it when it happens not later
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Negative views and ratings make their life more difficult. It can affect their promotions, it can affect their future contracts
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So really, really important. Another thing that I always feel is the polite and right thing to do is to give credit and
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praise when someone on board has gone out of their way to do something
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But it discovered that, too, can really annoy the crew. I learned this lesson a couple of ways, but I want to share one easy-to-make example to show the impact on the crew by publicly praising the dining room staff for creating a special meal and inadvertently creating a real nightmare for them
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My partner Mark reacts badly to dairy products, but also has a really sweet tooth
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Now on our last cruise together on Queen Mary 2, he saw that an iconic crew standard baked Alaska was going to be on the menu for dinner that night
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Now because it has ice cream in, he couldn't have it. So at lunchtime, he asked the major D
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if it was possible to have a vegan ice cream or a sorbet version made of baked Alaska specifically for him So of course he was absolutely delighted when they discreetly served him a custom made sorbetelaska So of course he wanted to praise their good deed thank everybody for it
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so he excitedly told all those people around us about it. This of course led to several
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other people asking for the same thing too. Now the crew to be honest were dismayed
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they were a little bit frustrated because that was impossible to do. Mark's one was a once-off and they
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couldn't get the kitchen to make more without notice like he'd given them so it
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created attention it created attentionists when they started refusing to get it for
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other diners. The waiter the matri-D told us afterwards that it's best not to draw
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attention if something has been done till at least the end of the meal so they then
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can build in, they can negotiate any future similar requests with the kitchen
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and then not upset other guests at the time and put crew in a difficult position
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because they just can't do anything about it. The kitchen of course, always has a couple of people working on doing special requests or for special diets
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but it simply can't cope with many requests at short notice. Everyone I asked across departments agreed it's best to quietly thank the people involved
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and consider the impact, think about the impact of the crew, by broadcasting kind of special things that they've done for you
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One thing other than I know many passengers, including me, think the polite thing to do
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is to be friendly with and get to know the crew. However, this is not as welcome as I thought it was
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Many crew told me that one challenge they face is people being overly friendly, which can affect their jobs and even get them into a lot of trouble
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Now there are a few times that I've done this now that I look back and I want to talk about those
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On one Caribbean cruise last year, one of the main dining room waiters where I had breakfast most mornings, she recognized me from YouTube, from my YouTube channel and asked me about
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about how did it work, what cameras I use, and all sorts of questions like that
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So of course, I was really pleased, I wanted to help her, so I started over the next few breakfast
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telling her in some detail all about it. I brought cameras, I showed her shots
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using my Insta 360 camera. I started giving her lots of tips. And I thought I was being polite
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I was being helpful, I was being friendly. But I soon sensed that other waiters were kind of giving her
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daggers looks, they were annoyed, because she was spending time standing talking to me
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instead of serving other people and it created more work for them. I could then see that her supervisor was definitely not happy
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Of course, she was trying to be polite to me in return, but I learned that being too friendly
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was actually affecting her job and causing her unnecessary tension and issues
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My cabin steward on a recent cruise on Norwegian Viva pointed out to me that the cabin attendants
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have many more cabins to clean than they used to do, and so guests taking up a lot of time
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wanted to chat, interact, be pali with them, cuts into their time too
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So I'm more aware than ever of how much time I'm taking because that can affect a crew
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member's job. There is a much more serious side to being polite and wanted to be friendly with a crew
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That's around boundaries. If the line suspects or finds there is a romantic or very close relationship between a crew member and passenger they could get fired I learned that even building innocent close friendships can put a crew into a difficult situation
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and again make their job difficult or risk their job. On a seven-week cruise on a leading British cruise line, Mark and I became very friendly with the female gym instructor
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She used to take the fitness classes that we did most days. We really liked we got on with her, so we started to ask her to join us on different activities
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we planned in ports like we went indoor skiing in Dubai, we're going to water parks
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beach trips, join us and meet up for drinks and coffees in the ports and we started
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to spend a lot of time together. We were just being friendly because we enjoyed her company
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but some of the staff, some of the crew and a couple of senior staff not in her department
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started to notice and felt it was not appropriate to be mixing so much time with the ship
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they felt it wasn't right, they felt a suspect and they raised it with her boss who actually
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called her in and gave her a warning and she had to stop mixing with us totally
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Now while all of what we were doing was innocent it did strike home to me how we
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needed to remember there is a line between passenger and crew and it needs to be
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respected because it could risk or make their job difficult. We actually later
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found out that she didn't return to that line when her contract ended because I
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think the stress that it created made her feel unwelcome there and she actually
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then eventually went to a different cruise line. I also found from talking to
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crew across various departments that gestures of appreciation, as polite as they seem, are not always as welcome as I had assumed they would be
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and they can also cause problems for the crew too. One of these was pointed out to me by some entertainers that I spoke to
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Now, when they're performing around the ship, so I want you to think of things like pianists, groups of musicians, that kind of thing
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Guests want to buy them a drink to show their appreciation as a kind of a polite gesture
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However, what I discovered is this can cause issues based on the cruise line
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Many cruise lines ban their entertainers from drinking alcohol before and definitely during performances
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And also they point out, the crew point out, that it will cost a passenger, say perhaps
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$15 or more plus a gratuity to buy them a drink. But they can actually head to the crew bar and buy multiple drinks for that
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And of course, most, even if they can, don't want a drink on their job
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So a much more polite way they said would be. be to give a gratuity because they would much rather have that they can do what they then want
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with it. Now for guest entertainers on board so people come on and do different shows
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it's also I discovered the same principle. Now some people that I've asked who come on as
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guest entertainers say they'll often bring merchandise, perhaps CDs or ways of downloading
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their music or t-shirts, guest speakers have books and buying their merchandise
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is a much better way to show appreciation than basically trying to buy them drinks. There is
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also another polite behavior that every single guest entertainer, and in fact also every crew member
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told me they wish people would change and do something else instead
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I must admit I used to do this too until I was told about a better way. Like many other passengers
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if I like to perform a be they a cruise line one a guest entertainer or guest speaker I thought the right and polite thing to do was to go and tell the cruise director or perhaps
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even guest services or some of the senior officers that I saw around the ship
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I always thought this was going to help them, get another contract, get another booking
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However, I discovered all those people on board, the cruise director, the crew and so on, they
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have no decision over what on-board entertainers. guest entertainers or speakers are given contracts or booked, it's all decided by head office
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While of course the crew director might mention some ad hoc feedback they've heard to head office
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they are not the decision maker because all are booked by that head office
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And so a major factor for head office are the scores and comments about guest entertainers
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guest speakers in the post-cruz guest surveys. So the absolute best thing if you want to be polite is to name them and rate them in the
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the end of crew survey, that is what's going to help them more than being polite and telling people on board
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The same is true for any crew member that you've found good. Naming them in the end of
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crew survey is the most important and influential way of getting them recognized is what they
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tell me, getting them rewarded and even promoted rather than simply telling management on board
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But what about being polite and making a crew member's job a little bit easier? That too I've
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found cannot always help. For example, I used to think helping to clear away dishes was going to be a great help. But on this cruise
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I'm on right now, I saw that it may not be. One of my routines on this cruise has been having a
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coffee and a snack in the coffee shop once or twice a day, often sitting outside on the deck
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enjoying the sights, watching the ocean on sea desert. I really, really love it. So what I would do
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is I started picking up my used cups, my plates, and taking it inside to save the crew doing it
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Now I realized I was probably doing something wrong because the waiters would
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literally rush across and insist on taking them from me. So I asked about it and
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Waiter told me that a guest picking up and taking dirty dishes was seen as them not doing their
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job, keeping tables cleared and ready. Now on other lines there have been stations where guests
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like me could put cups and plates and so on. But this is an ultra luxury line and it's seen as
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crew not doing their job. So it's really important to understand when you're going to help and not
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help and being polite is going to be a problem. I also came to notice, for example, in the main
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dining rooms, the crew have to carry and clear many plates and dishes, of course, and there
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are methods and processes for clearing tables at dinner to pick up and stack the plates in a specific
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way, to clear plates of left over food, to go into the kitchens, into food recycling and so on
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So I actually realize the polite thing to do is to be aware there's a process and let crew just do
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and get on with it. Piling up plates and trying to clear things actually could be doing them
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to service so being polite may not help. I've learned many things talking to crew on my travels
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including this one and I've discovered a whole bunch of mistakes they see us passengers make
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most often on board. So join me in this video where I share them, starting with one that they
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say costs us all dearly and unnecessarily. See you over there
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