Phaith Montoya says the fashion industry still has work to do

We all know that the fashion industry has made strides to be more body inclusive, but is that really the reality

I'm sitting down with Faith Montoya. She's a plus-size model, a TikTok star, fashion influencer, a voice for body positivity

And she pulls back the curtain on the realities of what it's like to be a plus-size model at New York Fashion Week

So we were just on the 6 o'clock news together. You came on Fox 5 to talk about National Eating Disorder Week

And that's something that's so personal for you. You went through that

Talk to me a little bit about that journey. Yeah, I think it was very eye-opening because I was under the assumption that plus-size people do not have eating disorders for a large part of my life

Until I obviously went to college and got my degree in psych and started learning a lot more about the eating disorder and seeing a therapist myself

and officially getting diagnosed with binge eating disorder, which is something that I don't think is represented in the media

as much as other eating disorders. And, yeah, it's been a long road to recovery

but I am just so grateful to have the education to know about it

because I would have lived my whole life not knowing. How old were you? When I got it or when I learned about it

When you started to realize what was happening. I was definitely around 19, 20 years old when I realized

I think growing up, around like 10 is when I started gaining a little bit more weight

And at the time, I didn't know I had an autoimmune disease that caused me to gain weight

And because of that, I was put on a lot of diets at a young age

In the 2000s, the Slim Fast, the Hollywood diet. Yeah. And that had lasting effects to me now as a even now 27. But when I was 20, my doctor telling me that like binging is the way that I emotionally cope because my mind was wired to think you don't know when you're going to eat again

You don't know when you're going to get starved again because that's essentially what is happening when you're going on these diets at such a young age

it like, oh, wait, like a train view. Yes. Yeah. So they're like, my brain is literally like

eat as much as you can. Cause this is what you have control over right now in this moment. Um, because your brain is just like, so manipulated to be in those diets and restriction and that

cycle that I didn't realize that it was something that at the time, eight years, 10 years after the

fact still had an effect on me. And I'm sure when you're eating, you get like a dopamine boost also

Yeah, no. And it's crazy because like I I could still eat and I wasn't even hungry

It was more about like that control thing and feeling like I now am not being like policed

So I have just this free autonomy to eat. And then, you know, follows the shame after the fact

You're like, why did I do that? Why did I eat a whole pizza by myself? And it's just a vicious cycle. You feel like that dopamine, then the shame

and you just then you go like I got a diet or I got a fast to like make up for it and it was just

a vicious cycle that I suffered for years and then you're in college yes which is like you know to top

it all off makes it so hard yeah no and I am like one of the first in my family to go to college so

I didn't have a lot of guidance in that in itself and I had four or five jobs at one time I was very

very hard working but like having to face that issue behind closed doors because it's not

something you really talk about with your friends or anybody else um was something that I suffered

with I was failing classes I was on academic probation it was it was bad and I'm glad that

I finally got the resources but it was a long time coming you were going through it yeah what

point did you think like oh I need help because if you are not talking to anyone about it how do

you make that realization it was really my classes it's so funny to say that but like you start

learning about personality disorders eating disorders different things in psych classes and I remember coming to like the eating disorder section and I've only ever heard of anorexia and

yeah that's like what you see and what you hear in film always you know like people purging or

you know going in the bathroom and doing whatever there um but binge eating disorder was the first

time I ever heard of it and we list the symptoms and we obviously have to study them for tests and

I was like, oh my gosh. Like, I'm like checking off every box. And luckily for me, my college

offered a few free sessions of therapy for every student every semester. And I was like, well

it's free. Let me just go. Um, I hadn't even really believed in therapy until then. Um

and yeah, like that therapist, she, she really rocked my world. And you must, so, so what did

you do at that point? Did you change your relationship with food? Like how, what's the

What's the treatment to that? Well, she sent me to a nutritionist

Okay. Because I was also free for college students there. So I was really blessed with the resources

Yeah, that's great. And that's not a lot of things. Where did you go to college? FSU. Okay. Oh, okay. Nice

Yeah. So that's another thing that I think people don't understand. Resources are a thing that are very limited to places that are filled with people of, like, lower socioeconomic status

Like if I hadn't had all those resources, like I couldn't imagine being able to have the recovery path that I had

That was really like seamless because she sent me to a nutritionist. She sent me to a psychiatrist

I did get medicated for it. I didn't even know there was medication for a binging disorder

Yeah, there is. And the nutritionist just helped me with my relationship with like food

Every month she would give me like little goals like I want you to drink this much water today

I want you to eat one fruit. you know every other day and it was never like I want you to cut out sugar I want you to stop

eating carbs it was I want you to add things into your diet instead of thinking of taking them away

and that rewired my brain completely I think diet culture is so like negative in a way it's like you

can't eat this you can't do this so many rules of things you can't do and I think that probably does

not help the overall problem yeah no it definitely doesn't I feel like because you're always keeping

yourself in that restrictive mindset and as humans we always want what we can't have like that's by

nature so I think her giving me those little goals really just taught me like why am I keep why do I

keep subtracting like if I want something sweet girl you can have your something sweet but like

also have something on the side that's healthy to like accompany that something sweet and it really

really made all the difference and people think that it's like you can really hate yourself into

that but you're just gonna be in this vicious cycle of like hate shame and disgust and what is

that really worth? Did you find in this journey that there were other people also like you going

through the same thing? Oddly enough, not really, not in my real life. I feel like maybe there are

some of like family members that I know have had similar experiences. Like I feel like everybody's

been on a diet back in the day, you know? But nobody that was like formally diagnosed. So it

was really lonely until I really made the pivot into like social media and started talking about

it a little bit more. Let's talk about that. Yeah, like 4 million followers on TikTok. You've amassed

such a social media following just by sharing your story. What prompted you to do that to kind

of go on social media to talk about what you've been through? I feel like I started going viral

because I shaved my head And when was that That was in 2020 Oh wow During the pandemic Yes Fresh into the pandemic I was just like rock bottom you know and at that point you like what else can you lose And I was like let just have a fresh start with my hair

Wow. And it was like almost like it was a control, like getting control in a lot of ways

Kind of control. I read an article when I was a teenager that said everyone should shave their head once in their life

So I had always had in the back of my mind, I'd always tell my friends I'm going to do it one day and they never believe me

Your hair is so beautiful. Thank you. We came a long way. You shaved your head

Yes. Yeah. But it was like blonde, damaged. It was a lot of stuff going on

And COVID, I lost like my job, lost a family member. Like it was just so many things on top of it

And I was just like, you know what? I need a fresh start. This is it

And it was by far the scariest thing I've ever done in my entire life, especially as a woman

We just hold so much femininity on our hair. Yeah. But it was the greatest thing ever because it launched my social media career just by showing my hair growth videos

I think in eight months, I got a million followers. Wow. Yeah

What were the questions people were asking? Like, how's your hair growing so fast

Why do you do it? Do you have cancer? You know, a lot of different type of responses, but I didn't really do it for the responses

or what people said. I just kind of wanted to document my hair growth. Yeah. And I didn't think at the time I had gotten over 100 million across all my videos

I didn't think 100 million people would also be tuned into it. I think there's like a bit of a shock factor too

Like how can you do that? Yeah. Willingly, you know, like with cancer, I lost my hair during chemo, but that was not, that

was unwillingly. But, but I will say that in growing the hair back, you learn a lot about yourself

Yes, you certainly do. And I think that sitting my, sitting with myself at every phase of that hair growth

is like, you can learn to love your hair, but in two weeks you can't even do the same hairstyle you could do like last week

Like it's totally different. Do you look like do you look good in a pixie haircut? Right, right, right. So it was a lot of sitting with yourself and like, wow, I got to love this version of myself. And I don't have any hair to hide behind. And giving me that platform, I was like, well, I want to show different aspects of myself, not just like my hair growth. I'm not just like a bald girl on the Internet. Like I have different facets to me and going through college and being diagnosed with that eating disorder and also depression

I was like why not make my content meaningful like it doesn't have to be just emptiness you know like

just me just showing my hair growth like let me show the real raw stuff behind who I am and my

high function day in my life with high functioning depression videos started going viral as well

and I think that's what kind of gave me the like okay there's people out there that also suffer

with the things that I do. Yeah, I think that there's such a community aspect to social media

You're always challenging beauty standards in your videos. What do you think of the beauty industry

Where do you think we're at? I just feel like some days I'm like, okay, we're getting better

And then other days I'm just like, oh, my gosh, what are we doing? Like, where is the solidarity, the allyship

It always just feels so, like, lost. And right now I'm just kind of disappointed in the beauty industry

I think that we have made a lot of progress, but I think that size inclusivity always gets put on the back burner

And people's biggest and greatest excuse is, well, we care about people's health. Like, we're not trying to promote, like, unhealthy living

When sometimes people just exist in bigger bodies. Yeah, some people are just built different, right? Right

We're all built in different ways. Right, and we carry our weight differently. Or like, say a woman has really bad postpartum, like, and she gains, sometimes women gain 100 pounds during pregnancy

Is she not supposed to feel good until she loses all that weight? And then she's filled with that shame and that hate and that disgust because she doesn't see anybody that looks like her in that moment

And she can't find any clothes that even fit her in that moment. So it's just really disheartening

You were recently at New York City Fashion Week. When you go into these brands, how is their sizing

Like, how are they doing with sizing? Not good at all. I was recently invited to a fashion show, and they offered to dress me from the designer

And when I walked in for, like, the sample sizing and whatnot, they said everything only goes up to a size 6

And I was like, I'm a size 16. That's 10 sizes too small

And, unfortunately, I still, I'm always, like, a person who's like, I'm going to make it shake

Like, I'm going to make whatever happen. And I did just squeeze my behind into something, but I shouldn't have to

Especially when they invited you. Right. Like, I'm like, what? Like, you would have thought I was banging on the door, like, begging to come in

But this is an invite where, you know, they obviously want you there and they want to dress you

But I've been invited to, like, gifting suites, too, for, like, Fashion Week and whatnot

And they'll be like, oh, everything only goes up to a large. But you can pick whatever you want

I'm like, what am I going to pick? Everything, nothing's in my size, you know? In so many ways, it felt like the fashion industry was making great strides in being inclusive

having plus size models and sizing that was so inclusive to people's different body shapes

But now it just feels like it's it wasn't executed wholeheartedly. So now it's almost taking a step back

Yeah, I feel like the fashion industry, if they want to tell us anything right now

it's that body women's bodies are, in fact, trends. Because how can you see this whole body positivity trend trend and be like, OK

we're going to extend our sizing. And now that you see that the trend is going away

brands that extended their sizing are even rolling back and being like, actually, we're cutting off

those top sizes. And it's like, these plus size women have looked to you for years now

knowing that you are their saving grace, knowing that they're like a place that they're confident

they can shop. And you took that away from them because you only saw us as a trend. So I think

people need to be very vigilant and know like, what is that brand saying about you and women

all over it because I think fat phobia doesn't just affect fat women I think it affects all women

because it has women thinking that like even a size eight is fat now these days yeah you know

like where where's the limits if we can't stand in solidarity together against the fashion industry

what are some of the brands that are doing a good job I love uh the drop off of Amazon everything

everything they have goes up to like a 5x I think that is super dope I love finesse I think finesse

is super cool because they don't have like a separate plus size section um everything that

they drop is all up to a 3x and I think that's important like I hate going to a website and

having to like filter my size and it goes from like a thousand options to like I kid you not

like 20 yeah like and then also like the designs don't look nice I've seen videos like that where

it's like why do the designs have to look so awful like you're wearing like a like a muumuu

Yes, yes. And they because they don't want you to be like confident in the things that you wear

So they want everything to be super oversized. So you can't really see your silhouette. And I'm like, I think we've moved so far past that. I think so many women are so comfortable in their silhouette that why are we still making these great

Like I call it grandma gear. Like that's what it's giving grandma gear. And I I'm over it

Yeah I on your social media you such a beacon of light and positivity for so many people who are going through struggles and and just seeing you and like oh my God she could do it She looks so amazing And then there are like you respond to the haters online Like how do you respond to negative critiques or comments about your body or appearance Well I feel like I really I really reins it in because I used to be a lot more with the clapbacks

But I think that anybody that really is true, truly happy is not leaving like miserable hate comments

I know myself when something bothers me on the internet, if I don't like it, I just like scroll onto the person's like I don't sit there and like type all these like nasty, vicious things under somebody's thing

So I never really take it personally. I know that these people are just projecting because they themselves probably have like an ideal body type

It'd be a lot of gym rats. I'm like, girl, you're in the gym four hours a day and you got the body you want

Why are you hating me for being happy? And I think a lot of that is that projection that like they work so hard to get to this body that they have

I should not be as happy as I am because they don't even get to exist that freely with a body that should be that socially acceptable

So I never really take it personally. And my biggest thing is to educate the masses, my audience, and equip them with the ability to like be able to defend themselves with education

and also like sometimes people are like, Faith, I'm nervous for the holidays because, you know, my family comes at me

Even their own family could be their own haters. I've had those experiences where I've had to be like

please don't talk about my, you're not allowed to talk about my body. Yeah, it's not fair. Like that's it

Yeah, that's where it is. And if you can't respect that, then I'm going to have to remove my presence

And that in itself is a gift. You have to have a really powerful mindset

Yeah. How did you develop that over time? I think it was like being in fight or flight for so long, kind of being your own advocate

Because I think from as long as I can remember, my weight was like always just such a topic surrounding who I am

People never let you forget you're fat, especially in the 2000s. So I think that developing that mindset, I always used to be like, I'm fat and I'm fat and smart

I'm fat and beautiful. I'm fat and all these other things like I'm fat and I have curly hair

I'm fat and like I would always say like it doesn't just stop it like I'm fat period like

there's so many more things to me and you saying that I'm fat doesn't hurt me anymore so taking

that power back it took years I don't want to act like this is like an overnight type of thing like

I used to hear the word fat in another conversation and like like clutch white pearls and hope that

they weren't talking about me but now that that word don't hold no weight on me you can call me

whatever you want because regardless it doesn't take away from who I am and the love and laughter

I have in my life yeah you have to be really secure in yourself yeah yeah or you know faking

it till you make it because I tell people like I have my days where I do not feel the best but

I'm still gonna show up anyways like I'm I used to go to the beach and like a t-shirt and tights

like and go into the pool with those type that type of clothes on I'm like no like even on my

most insecure days I'm putting a bathing suit on I'm not gonna like risk my own comfort for the

sake of others yeah even if I'm insecure you still gotta like show up how do you keep pushing yourself

when you don't feel like it I feel like I think that life is just too short and fragile and I think

as women we devote so much of our life or a lot a lot of our life is like stolen because of

perception of how others perceive us and I think I've seen that I was raised by a woman my mom my

grandma my aunt I've seen how it like still has stolen parts of their life because of their

their fear of being perceived a certain way and I am like we only got one life you know and time

is so it goes so fast you can't I don't want to give up a second of it to allowing those perceptions

to control who I am and how I live truly because it's fragile in the blink of an eye you'll be 80

Would you care whether somebody thought you looked fat in that bathing suit? No, you just care whether or not you actually went to the places and had fun there

It's like living in the moment, truly. Yeah, literally. And I think you're probably bringing that mindset and just the power in your voice to your brand ambassadorship now that you've got with NAMI, the National Alliance of Mental Illness

How did you get connected with them? My post is actually, you know, I think she saw the type of work that I was doing on social media because I'm a very multifaceted person

So I wouldn't say like my social media is all about one thing. It's not all about fashion

It's not all about my relationship or my mental health. It's everything. I think women are multifaceted

So I think she saw that little aspect of my social media was like, girl, like we need to hone in on this

And I'm so thankful that she did because when I started this career, I never thought in a million years it could tie back to that degree that I got

Yeah. Almost five years ago. Like, I was like, oh, well. Because you got your degree in psychology, right? Yeah

Yeah. Yeah, I wanted to be a psychiatrist. Is that something still you want to do

Or what do you think your career path is now just with social media and everything you've been through

I still want to do. I have some advocation that I still feel like needs to get done and I still need to keep my foot on a few of these brands and industries next

Right, right. But I don't think that like school is completely out the cards for me

I think that one day I could definitely see myself going back. I feel like I'm super passionate about it

But there's just so many things with like the health care industry, too, that I feel like need a bit fixing because they are so undervalued

And I think COVID taught me that a lot. You know, the way that they were just work to the bone

And, you know, I just feel like I need to be in a little bit of a better place mentally to before I enter that again

Are you actively your modeling? And are you so what are you mostly doing these days

Filming content. Yeah, it's just that's a full time job. It really is

But, you know, I grew up like not having a lot. I always I said I worked a lot

I used to have like four to five jobs in college, three jobs in high school. Like I was always very working type of woman

And I was on government assistance for a while, too. And I think that content creation, what it's given me is like the financial freedom to relax

And that's like amazing. You know, get to that point. Yeah. And I think that like all the other stuff, the luxuries, the trips, those things are so nice

But like people don't really understand the the toll that that kind of life takes on you

And that's why I always advocate for those people, too. You know, like when I was I used to be a teacher as well

And I'm always like teachers need to get paid more so that their quality of life can be better

Because living like that in those extraneous circumstances is only going to be passed on to like the next generation of kids

And they're going to feel that stress. So, like, I'm grateful that like I get to make my videos

But now I relax. And sometimes you are like, you know, you can be doing one

I'm like, I'm doing just enough. Yeah. Doing whatever is appropriate that you feel like doing. Right

Is most of your revenue then coming from TikTok? Yeah, it's coming from social media

Yeah. That's amazing. When TikTok is going through the shutdown period, you know, like that whole period of time, what was that like

It was kind of scary. But I do have other social media platforms

But I also know, like I said, I've been a hustler my whole life. And I I always grateful that like if this opportunity were to go away tomorrow like I so grateful to have even had the time to enjoy it And I will go back to doing whatever I going to find a way to make a way and do whatever I passionate in life

But I won't sweat it too much. It won't be the end of the world. It won't be earth shattering. As long as I have the people I love in my life, I don't know

It would never be that impactful to me. Wow. You're so deep

You've already got it so figured. You're 27? Yeah. You're amazing. I'm a Scorpio

Oh, no. Everything is making sense, Scorpio. I see that you had a brand collaboration with Pretty Little Thing

Yes. That's super cool. Are there any other collaborations that you're working on right now

Yeah, I'm working. I'm going to be doing something really fun with Finessoon

Okay. It's one of those brands, like I said. I just love when brands are still trying to push the needle in places that, you know, in the society that we have now that are just like everybody's dropping out

So I'm always just super grateful. But yeah, I have that. What do you want to see kind of happen with the modeling industry for plus size models too

Like what's, what are you hoping for in the future? I'm hoping for like, even when it comes to like plus size modeling, some more like plus

size diversity. I think that I'm super privileged to be in a place where like I have more of a palatable

body type and I'm on the smaller end of the plus sizes

So like it's easy for a brand to kind of book me and make me the face of something

but I want to see more like apple shapes and uh darker bodies disabled bodies like I think we need

more we need more range representation yeah representation as well like I think it's just

always so lacking like I can't be the end all be all where it stops because again I'm on the

smaller end of the plus size spectrum like let's get some three x's in the room what have been some

of your challenges for bookings? Like, you know, when you show up for bookings, what have you been

seeing? Like, what's the reality of it? Well, honestly, I'm really privileged because of my

social media. Yeah. Like, I think that it sucks to say too, because there's models that have been

in this industry for a really long time, but because they don't have followers, like sometimes

they won't even be looked at. So I'm really fortunate that usually I don't have to go to

bookings, you know, it's like the brand will like contact me. But it's not like that's happening

as often as a straight size influencer might be. So that is definitely something that's difficult

And usually anytime that I am contacted, I'm always the only plus size person in a set, on a trip, in an event, in a room

Like, you know, and that in itself is really isolating. Yeah. And you even said, like, when you went to Fashion Week shows

that they sat you in the back. Yeah. Like I was with a brand and there was a whole bunch of influencers and I was one of two plus size influencers

And we were it's so like naive and kind of sad to think we were so happy

We're like, oh, my gosh, our seats are right next to each other. We were so happy until we saw that all the other girls were sitting front row and we were in the back corner

And we were trying not to think too much of it. We're trying not to be like ungrateful. But I think there comes to a point where it's like that's messed up

Like, that's just really, you know, you want to say, like, oh, it was a mistake. It was a coincidence that they just put the two plus five girls

No, because, you know, they go, so much planning, who sits where in these shows

It's, like, it's not a mistake. Yeah, and you want to kind of, like, make those excuses for other people

But then it's, like, at what point are you just going to say, like, no, they did this intentionally. You probably don't fit

It could have been the fashion show, not even the brand. Like, you don't fit the aesthetic that they're trying to, like, portray

So, yeah, it's a lot of that. It had to be so upsetting. It definitely was

I crashed out in my driver's car in between shows. But I think I have a really great ability to pick myself up and be like

all right, now we're going to the next one. Like it's fuel for you. Yeah, it is fuel because I know that when you're paving the way

it's never going to be easy. You're going to face those challenges. But my only hope is that me doing that and paving that way

is making it easier for the girls coming behind me. I love that. You're well on your way, if not already on your way

with just whatever the huge following that you've amassed. What's next for you

What's next? I feel like it's definitely a lot more advocating. I thought those days where I feel like I had to like constantly like kind of make those educational videos

were kind of behind me because I'm like the education's there. But kind of seeing the resurgence of ED culture now, even on TikTok

Skinny talk is like trending now, you know. What is skinny talk? Exactly

It's like girls just kind of like get your body summer ready

You know, you have like 12 Mondays till summer. That's so stressful

So stressful. I'm like, the summer going to come. Yeah. And then it'll go

It's going to go. Exactly. It's going to come and go. And what are you going to do? Waste your whole spring

Right. You know, worrying about it and putting all that pressure on yourself. So I think right now what's next for me is I can't take a seat back and just live on with, you know, my comfortability

It's really just like going to have to be at the forefront advocating and letting these girls know that like your body, whatever body you have is a bikini body

And keep encouraging girls to show up and show out because I think that is the most important thing in this day and age, especially with like Ozempic and whatnot

And everybody thinking that thin is the only way. Now, I have seen the videos where the girls were like, this is what I eat in a fat girl's life

And they're eating donuts and really, really wild things. And then I think that's also not healthy, though

Isn't that a form of an eating disorder, too, in a way

No, yeah. I definitely think it is in a form. It's kind of like binging. Right, exactly

And it is just all these fatty foods in a short period of time

Yeah, no, definitely. I think that either end of the spectrum is like, you know, bad

And I always tell people just I don't count calories. I don't count macros

I can't be bothered with all that stuff. But I do more like intuitively, you know, listening to my body, listening to like my heart

Because sometimes your mind will convince you like, again, it would be tricked like you don't know when you're going to eat again

You know, you're going to be starved. So or this is your only form of control. So eat as much as you can

And, you know, so finding that balance, like, I think as Americans, like, we consume way too much sugar

So one of my New Year's resolutions was trying to consume less sugar. Not, like, cutting out sugar, going cold turkey

You know, just finding those little switch-outs, you know. Yeah, because you've got to set yourself up for success

You know, and not even because I want to lose weight, but just because I think that as a whole, we should all stop eating so much sugar

Like, we have, I think we eat more sugar than, like, any other country, basically. No, we definitely do

and everything is so supersized also. When you go to other countries and you get like, you know, these meals

everything, the portions are so small. Yeah, no, definitely. And I think I freed myself also when I stopped looking at like working out as like punishment

Like I used to hate my body and be like, this is what you deserve because you did this to yourself

And now I work out almost every day, sometimes for a few hours, twice a day

do different types of workouts because I love my body. Well, Faith, I love your energy

I love your messaging. I think it's so powerful. And I think you're just changing lives with just being your authentic self on social media

Thank you so much. Thank you for coming on. Of course. Thank you