The Rondo - $15 Squad - 06OCT2025
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0:00
We have $15 and a dream to build the best five-a-side club in the world
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Can we build a world-class squad? Let's find out. Tom, first, let's start off with the goalkeeper
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At $5, we have Allison. At $4, we have Aston Villa's finest, Emi Martinez
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$3 gets you Jan Sommer. $2 gets you Robert Sanchez. And $1 gets you Andre Onana
0:23
Okay, so I've got a problem with this immediately. Ken has a sign, like just a producer, Ken, by the way
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Who we love very much To be fair To be fair He has assigned a bunch of arbitrary prices here
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And I think it's absolutely ridiculous So which one's arbitrary to you
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So while they're all just you know made up What he decided when he was sitting in his lab
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It's Emi Martinez for four bucks bro Emi Martinez for four dollars my boy
0:47
That's the current economy bro You know things are inflated at the moment bro I mean I suppose Man United would pay the equivalent
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They would bro I know who I'm going for So you want first pick this time
0:56
I'll take first pick I'll take Jan Sommer with $3, bro. I think he's a solid goalkeeper
1:01
Great performance against Barcelona Champions League last year. He got rinsed in the final, but that's more of a team issue
1:07
I'm going to take Jan Sommer, bro. You know Switzerland, you know, in competitions as well, international competitions, they're always good
1:13
I'm going to take him. Swinging big, Alisson, $5. Now he's scoring on me
1:17
Okay, so Tom has $10 left. I have $12. Moving on to center back now, we got William Saliba for $5
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Dean Housen for $4. Mid For $3, Kim Min Jae For $2, you have Ronald Araujo
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And for $1, you get Liverpool's Swiss knife, Joe Gomez So here's my problem with this as well
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I don't think any of those centre-backs are that good Ooh, I don't know That's a hot take, bro
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Some of them centre-backs are class And you cannot put no shame on my boy, William Saliba
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I was hoping to bait you As an Arsenal fan Come on now, you know I gotta love my man Saliba
1:50
I'm gonna go for a second Liverpool pick in a row Okay Bargain bin, Joe Gomez
1:54
Oh, wow Assuming his knee stays intact. Assuming that. Assuming that. I don't mind it
2:00
You know, it's crazy. I feel like a lot of people sleep on Ronald O'Rajo. I'm picking him for $2
2:04
All right. Let's move on. You could tell I'm getting ready for my attack. You could tell
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You could tell. That's why I went five to one. Yeah, you had to
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You're saving some bread right now. So far, so good though. So right now, I currently have spent so far $5
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How much have you spent so far? $6. $6. Wow. Okay. We are bargain pricing these crazy
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Okay, wait. But if you think about it, right, you've got to strategize this. Yeah, you've got to strategize
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So theoretically, I could just get three $3 players, right, to round it out
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You could. I could just have a solid five-a-side team, no nonsense, like we'll be all right
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And I back myself. Or I could just get really weird with it. Stay tuned to find out what Tom does
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Midfield, we got $5. Mr. Pedri himself, $4. Declan Rice, $3. Enzo Fernandez, $2
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Scott McTominay. and $1 gets you Warren Zaire Emery. Dude, this is tough
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I'm not going to lie. You got first pick. You got first pick here, right? But I don't know because, dude
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I feel like the $5 option here is so far away ahead
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For a five-a-side, like if you need a midfielder for five-a-side, like Pedri's the god tier
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That's game over. Yeah, Pedri and small-sided would be so unfair. You wouldn't even be able to touch the ball, bro
3:20
Yeah, you wouldn't. Yeah. So I'm not at all influencing your decision because I want to get Pedri
3:24
Okay. If I'm going to put someone there, though. Yeah. Don't tell me you're going to put Scott McTominay in your five-a-side, bro
3:30
I am putting Warren Zaire Emery. You know what? Because think about it
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Great feet in small spaces. Yeah. Young enough in small-sided, you need stamina, bro
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You know how tired you get after them games. Yeah. Them first two minutes could have you cooked if you're not in the right physical condition
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So I'm going with Zaire Emery in the middle, bro. You know, I think it's harsh on him at PSG that, like, Betinha, João Neves, and who's the other one
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Fabian Ruiz. Yeah, bro. How's he getting into that team? He's not getting in that team. That's crazy, though, because he's so good
4:00
Very good. And I think he could be nuts. And if you're going to go with Joe Gomez, I think that's a good choice. Yeah, yeah, yeah
4:05
Bargain him in. Okay, so you've stolen my pick, you asshole. Oh, my bad, man
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But I feel like in this case, if you don't want to... My fault, OG. If you don't want to spend a bang for your buck
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I feel like there's one player A level below in terms of Ability
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But he's pretty much the same caliber of player That makes sense
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What's really annoying I don't want Declan Rice I didn't pick my favorite white yardie
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But I love him though Shout out Declan Rice You're my favorite white Jamaican
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I love you bro Enzo Fernandez I knew it Think about it
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That only makes the most sense. If you're not going to go Pedri, you got to go Inzo and Clive Asana
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So I rate my team I now spent And I got to spend on my last two players So far I spent a whopping total of plus 2 plus 1
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I've spent a whopping $6. Are you good? I am very good for my attack
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Oh my god. Yes. So now, moving into our last two slots, we have, for $5, you got Ousmane Dembele
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For $4, you got Vinny Jr. For $3, you got Robert Lewandowski
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For $2, you got Jirassi. From Dortmund. And for $1, you got Rasmus Hoyland
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Oh, s***. And I've got $6 to spend. You've got $6, my boy
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Two forward slots. Where you going with this? Wait, I don't mind where this is going
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$4. Welcome to the club, Vinicius Jr. Vinicius Jr. You love me some Vinny
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I love me some Vinny. Welcome to the club. You know what? We need..
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I don't know necessarily what we need, but I'm rating Vinny. And I've got to say, I know he's just won the Ballon d'Or, but Dembele for five, that's terrible value for money
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That is terrible value for money. But you know what? I got some good options up on the board and I'm going to take Mr. Ballon d'Or himself, Ousmane Dembele with $5 and I still have $4 left
6:03
Oh, so we'll see what I do with that. But Ousmane Dembele, you already know, Ousmane Dembele and small-sided, bro
6:08
Going at you both feet? Come on. I'd rather have Vinny than Ousmane Dembele
6:13
Yo, that's a hot take. Oh, it is not hot. Why do you think you'd have Vinny in small-sided more than Demele
6:19
Techers. Skills. I just rate Vinny. Like, if you think about it, right
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Here's my logic. Five a side, everyone's just man for man, right? And then you've got to switch up and whatever
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but you're effectively just marking someone. Yeah. Right. Vinny's defensive work rate, a little bit underrated
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I think if you can get him to run, he'll run. And then in one-on-ones, it doesn't matter
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When have you ever seen Vinicius Jr. against except against like kyle walker for some reason every time uh back in the day when does he
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ever lose a one-on-one i've never really he takes on a lot of people and i'm not gonna lie bro i feel
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like this season he's been very underrated in regards to that so that's why i'm going for vinny
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you got to go vinny with that four dollars okay i currently have four dollars left yeah tom has
7:03
two or two dollars yeah so i'm cooked let's see who you got five dollars laminia mall four dollars
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gets you Harry Kane. $3 gets you Alexander Eshak. $2 gets you Victor Giochores
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And $1 gets you Atletico Madrid's finest, Alexander Sorloff, aka Erling Haaland
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baby version. Which one are you taking? I'm taking Sorloff and I'm keeping a dollar
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Yeah, you gotta keep the dollar. I'm taking Sorloff and I'm keeping a dollar
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I like that. I'm saving it for a rainy day. You know what? For this, I'm spending all my good ones
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and I am taking Harry Kane to slot in as my number nine to hold the ball up
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In five a side for me You need a guy like that Harry Kane
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Alright guys After choosing our squads Let's go over the final results Tom
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What was your final squad? Alisson Annette Joe Gomez Enzo Fernandez Is my you know
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Linking up center mid-ish thing In five a side Vinicius Jr And then
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I'm taking Alexander Solot And saving the dollar For a rainy day
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Saving the dollar for a rainy day And you know what That's quite nice You know what I mean Just save a buck
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You feel better about it That's a cute squad. You know, sometimes it's a cute squad
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Like, you know, you know when a girl that, like, you know, doesn't really like you, it's cute. Like, you're cute
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But, you know, it's a cute squad. It's a cute squad. A girl that doesn't like you is cute. Yeah, you might, she might think you're cute, but she wouldn't really date you
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Like, your squad's cute. Like, I wouldn't really, like, manage it, but it's a cute squad, you know
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To finish up rounding out my squad, let me give you a quick overview. In net, we have Jan Sommer for $3
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In the back, we have Ronald Araujo for $2. Very athletic. I like him holding it down for me
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in the midfield the man himself warren zeyer emery on a low budget but he could still control
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the play i really like him at forward we broke the bank for the ballon door winner osmond dembele
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come on now and to end it off we got the man himself the guy who's breaking bundesliga records
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harry kane bro that's an elite squad but we're not done yet and if you're enjoying this episode
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make sure you like comment subscribe and let us know down in the comment section what you guys
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think of our world-class squads we got 15 dollars back in the bank who gave us 15 more dollars shout
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out producer ken let's go yes sir thank you producer ken i'm broke now we get to pick one
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manager one stadium one kit one fan base and one name the names are very mysterious so we'll see
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what they give to us so we don't know what the names we don't know what the names are we don't
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know what the names are but we have to start off with the manager let's see who's going to be
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leading our world-class five-a-side teams. Or for Tom, your cute team, because your team is cute
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I not going to lie So to make it a little bit more intimidating this time at we got Pep got pep guardiola his bald head could definitely add some some meanness to your squad for four dollars you have the man himself hansi flick for three dollars you got arne slot your king
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for two dollars you got david moise and for one dollar you got the bald fraud ten hog do i get
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to pick first this time yes dude give me moise bro i want david moise to manage my team i want
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to play the most disgusting, unwatchable five-a-side. Oh, my God. But we are not conceding goals
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You're probably not going to concede goals. We are not conceding goals, and it's Ballon at Vinny
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I rate this. You know who I'm going to get? Go on. You know who I'm going to get? I'm going to have to rub his big bald head for good luck
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Arne Slott. I'm taking your manager, bro. You are? I am. I like that attack. Do you know what
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You've just picked the Liverpool manager, and I've picked the Everton manager
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Isn't that insane? Oh, look. But this is nice. This is nice. This is a moment of..
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I'm so desperately wanting to beat you that I have abandoned my principles as Olympus
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I like that. You know what I'm saying? I like David Moyes for $2. That's not a bad goal
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Thank you, Ken. But $3, I'll take Arne's slot. All right, moving on to the stadium now
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For $5, you got Tottenham Stadium. For $4, you got Bayern Munich Stadium, Allianz Arena
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For $3, you got Old Trafford. For $2, you got Craven Cottage
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And for $1, you got Luton Town Stadium that's in the middle of the city
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Which one are you choosing? These stadiums are all trash. Yeah, I don't know, man
11:06
No, Tottenham Stadium is incredible, bro. I don't know if you've seen it. Yeah, but it's NFL field, isn't it
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I mean, right now it is. But like Tom, you've seen Premier League matches being played on it
11:15
It's nice, bro. Yeah, but it's Tottenham. No one's in the stands. Hey, man, listen, they got trophies now
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They got a nice stadium. I don't know about Tottenham. They're starting to come up. I want an atmosphere, right
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I want it to feel enclosed. I want it to be so packed. I want it to be uncomfortable, within reason, still safety
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to get into my stadium, which is why Kenilworth Road, home of Luton Town
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Luton Town. That's not bad. That's a good pull. It's going to be great. I'm not going to lie
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It's going to be absolutely great. Out of all the stadiums right now, for $4, I'm going with Allianz Arena
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because you know in Allianz Arena, whenever you hear Bayern Munich score those goals
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and you keep on hearing that song, you know that song that Bayern Munich plays
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whenever they score? It makes you not even want to play anymore, bro. I can see why so many teams concede like five goals to Bayern at Allianz Stadium
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Because every time I hear that damn song when Bayern scores, I get so annoyed
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So I couldn't imagine what it's like for the players. And to be fair, you've got Harry Kane in your team as well
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And I do got Harry Kane, man. You already know we got hit our songs waiting for him
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You already know that. Moving on to the kits. $5 gets you FC Barcelona's kits
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$4 gets you Liverpool's. $3 gets you Chelsea's. $2 gets you Man City's
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and $1 gets you St. Troydans in the Belgian League. That's a random list of club kits
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So like the Belgian League one has tons of ads on it, right? I think you either go clean as hell or loads of sponsors
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You see like Liga MX teams and they've just got like everything
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Like their faces are basically sponsored. It looks hard as... I'm not going to lie
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Are you going to choose that one? No. Oh, okay. Which one are you going for? I'm going to choose Liverpool
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Liverpool's kits for $4? Yeah. Have you seen, mate Liverpool's kits are pretty hard this year
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Have not many The teal kit I told you about the teal kit, bro The teal kit Yeah
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Is one of the best Liverpool kits I've seen Because it pays homage to back in like the 80s
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When you had the candy Yeah Remember the candy at the front Oh yeah You know, Kenny Dalglish was scoring goals back in the day
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Oh my goodness That kit is class And you guys brought it back for sure
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So, to be fair I've now spent $2, $1 and $4 Quick maths
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I've spent $7 $7 And moving on I'm going to get the Chelsea kits for $3
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I thought the Chelsea kit looks fire. The one with the old crest in the middle with the Nike kit
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the black one that Esteval's been hooping in. I love that kit. Not going to lie
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But the thing is with that is that they don't have a sponsor yet, do they? They do not have a sponsor
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Which kind of weirds me out. You don't like the no sponsor thing. What do you prefer? More sponsors or less
13:47
I'll go more sponsors over no sponsors. More sponsors? Yeah. You like a little logo, Tom
13:51
Yeah, why not? I like that. That's not bad. And in fact, all of you sponsors, please buy an episode of The Rondo
13:57
See? I've spent $10 so far. Thomas spent $7. I've spent $7
14:01
I'm not going to lie. You're really good at bargain binning for the first three categories
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You like to shine for the rest. Yeah, I do. Okay. Fan base, we got Dortmund for $5
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For $4, you got PSG. For $3, you got Arsenal. For $2, you got Atletico Madrid
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And for $1, you got Manchester United. Do you know what's funny? I hate three of the fan bases here
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Yeah. I can't stand Arsenal fans. Love you, bro. Hate Arsenal fans
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I can't stand United fans because Man United, like I can't ethically do that
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Do you know what I mean? Even if Manchester United had great fans I could not look into that camera and be like I would like a Manchester united fan base like i would probably be disowned yeah like genuinely like i call my dad up be like
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how are you be like well i watched the episode the rondo so i'm really bad awesome so and then
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i don't like psg fans very much oh man that's a surprising one no well because psg feel a bit like
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too shiny and new like i want heritage okay right atletico madrid two bucks atletico madrid two
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You know, it's crazy. I love my fan base to have some social media content around it
15:02
And I love watching Mad EFC and Good Vibes, John. So give me Man United. $1 for their fan base
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Bro, Manchester United's fan base will give me endless content for days
15:11
I'm good with it. That's true. I've developed quite a hipster football club and a very mediocre team
15:17
Yeah. Oh, no. But I've f***ed up, though, haven't I? Oh. Because I've got Vinicius Jr. in my squad
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And I've got athletic fans. Oh, my goodness. It's over for you. Okay
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It's over for you. All right. Now, last but not least, we have. Hang on
15:30
How much do you have to spend left? OK, so with one dollar, I have four dollars
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You have four bucks. Yeah. So whatever comes up for four bucks is yours. Yes
15:39
Do I have four dollars as well? No, I've five. I have five
15:43
Yeah. So we'll see. Let's see what producer Ken has chosen for. So I have to get whatever's five dollars
15:48
Yeah. And I have to get whatever's four dollars. All right. And the first name is for $1 gets you Real Bad FC
15:57
Real Bad? Real Bad FC. Like Real Bad or Real Bad? Real Bad
16:02
That's kind of hard. That's kind of hard. For $1 gets you the name Real Bad FC
16:08
I'm not going to lie. With a Spanish accent added to it, that one's kind of fired
16:12
I can't do a Spanish accent. The issue is I actually wouldn't mind that, but I've got Real Madrid player, Atletico Madrid fan base
16:19
Not going to work. yeah no sorry the two dollar name is the rolling balls
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the rolling balls at number two and i'm so glad i didn't have two dollars because the rolling
16:35
balls that's a crazy name but i would not want that as my team name for sure three dollars at
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number three we got athletic silver lake why is that hard it's a hard name athletic silver lake
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And I can't take it. We can't take it, bro. I can't take... That's sick
16:52
That's a sick name, bro. So these next two better be... So this $4 name..
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This $4 name is yours. It's my name. Whatever it is. Yes, it is. Okay, go on
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For $4, the name of my five-a-side club is... Drumroll, please. You ready
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Tell them. You are the Shadowhawks. Shadowhawks? That's decent. Shadowhawks, I like that because I lurk
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I lurk. And then I catch my prey. You feel me? That's what I'm going to do with you. that in the five-a-side tournament for sure
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Can I like that? Can I be honest? I like that. What's up? I think that's crap. You think that's crap
17:24
Okay, let's see what your name is, big guy. Come on now. All right
17:28
Last but not least, for $5 and Tom's name of his club
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Please be good. Please be good. Let's give a drum roll, please. Please be good. Please be good. Please be good
17:36
Please be good. Please be good. Crimson Rain FC. That's hard. That goes so hard
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That goes so hard. We are Crimson Rain. I love how producer Ken has probably chat GPT'd the shit out of those, but that is a sick name
17:53
All right. Let's to review. Let's see. Yeah. For Tom's team, your manager at $2 was David Moyes
17:59
Yes. Your environment at $1 stadium was Luton Town. Yeah. For Kitts, for $4, you picked Liverpool
18:07
Yeah. For $2, you had Atletico Madrid. Yeah. And your club name is Crimson Reign FC
18:13
Dude, I'll tie you up. That's pretty strong. You might be better on the pitch, but we have got great branding
18:18
I know. We've got great branding. What do you guys think? What do you think has the better overall club
18:24
Well, it depends. It depends what you value, right? Okay. Because like, here's the thing
18:28
I think you're putting a better product on the pitch. Yeah. But like, let's be honest
18:32
Like, football's about like TikTok aura edits. Yeah. Right? Like, that's just what it is
18:36
And like, if you picture the scene, I've got a packed like stadium, right
18:41
I've got sick kits and we're called the Crimson whatever. the Crimson Reign
18:46
Crimson Reign FC we are finishing mid table but my god we are selling shirts
18:52
you guys are like the upgraded like hashtag United like if they made the Prem you guys would be them
18:56
I'm not sure I'm in love with that comp but yes yeah
18:59
but yes for sure for sure I'm not gonna lie I'm loving these clubs
19:04
and I'm loving the stadium atmosphere that you built at Luton Town
19:08
I'm going to a game of yours for sure come on now I would have to slide
19:11
I gotta support my buddy's cute club at the end of the day nice call back bro so there's our teams make sure you guys let us know in the comment section
19:20
what do you guys think of our world-class five-a-side clubs me or tom who do you think
19:24
has the better one let us know
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