The Rondo - $15 Squad - 06OCT2025

We have $15 and a dream to build the best five-a-side club in the world

Can we build a world-class squad? Let's find out. Tom, first, let's start off with the goalkeeper

At $5, we have Allison. At $4, we have Aston Villa's finest, Emi Martinez

$3 gets you Jan Sommer. $2 gets you Robert Sanchez. And $1 gets you Andre Onana

Okay, so I've got a problem with this immediately. Ken has a sign, like just a producer, Ken, by the way

Who we love very much To be fair To be fair He has assigned a bunch of arbitrary prices here

And I think it's absolutely ridiculous So which one's arbitrary to you

So while they're all just you know made up What he decided when he was sitting in his lab

It's Emi Martinez for four bucks bro Emi Martinez for four dollars my boy

That's the current economy bro You know things are inflated at the moment bro I mean I suppose Man United would pay the equivalent

They would bro I know who I'm going for So you want first pick this time

I'll take first pick I'll take Jan Sommer with $3, bro. I think he's a solid goalkeeper

Great performance against Barcelona Champions League last year. He got rinsed in the final, but that's more of a team issue

I'm going to take Jan Sommer, bro. You know Switzerland, you know, in competitions as well, international competitions, they're always good

I'm going to take him. Swinging big, Alisson, $5. Now he's scoring on me

Okay, so Tom has $10 left. I have $12. Moving on to center back now, we got William Saliba for $5

Dean Housen for $4. Mid For $3, Kim Min Jae For $2, you have Ronald Araujo

And for $1, you get Liverpool's Swiss knife, Joe Gomez So here's my problem with this as well

I don't think any of those centre-backs are that good Ooh, I don't know That's a hot take, bro

Some of them centre-backs are class And you cannot put no shame on my boy, William Saliba

I was hoping to bait you As an Arsenal fan Come on now, you know I gotta love my man Saliba

I'm gonna go for a second Liverpool pick in a row Okay Bargain bin, Joe Gomez

Oh, wow Assuming his knee stays intact. Assuming that. Assuming that. I don't mind it

You know, it's crazy. I feel like a lot of people sleep on Ronald O'Rajo. I'm picking him for $2

All right. Let's move on. You could tell I'm getting ready for my attack. You could tell

You could tell. That's why I went five to one. Yeah, you had to

You're saving some bread right now. So far, so good though. So right now, I currently have spent so far $5

How much have you spent so far? $6. $6. Wow. Okay. We are bargain pricing these crazy

Okay, wait. But if you think about it, right, you've got to strategize this. Yeah, you've got to strategize

So theoretically, I could just get three $3 players, right, to round it out

You could. I could just have a solid five-a-side team, no nonsense, like we'll be all right

And I back myself. Or I could just get really weird with it. Stay tuned to find out what Tom does

Midfield, we got $5. Mr. Pedri himself, $4. Declan Rice, $3. Enzo Fernandez, $2

Scott McTominay. and $1 gets you Warren Zaire Emery. Dude, this is tough

I'm not going to lie. You got first pick. You got first pick here, right? But I don't know because, dude

I feel like the $5 option here is so far away ahead

For a five-a-side, like if you need a midfielder for five-a-side, like Pedri's the god tier

That's game over. Yeah, Pedri and small-sided would be so unfair. You wouldn't even be able to touch the ball, bro

Yeah, you wouldn't. Yeah. So I'm not at all influencing your decision because I want to get Pedri

Okay. If I'm going to put someone there, though. Yeah. Don't tell me you're going to put Scott McTominay in your five-a-side, bro

I am putting Warren Zaire Emery. You know what? Because think about it

Great feet in small spaces. Yeah. Young enough in small-sided, you need stamina, bro

You know how tired you get after them games. Yeah. Them first two minutes could have you cooked if you're not in the right physical condition

So I'm going with Zaire Emery in the middle, bro. You know, I think it's harsh on him at PSG that, like, Betinha, João Neves, and who's the other one

Fabian Ruiz. Yeah, bro. How's he getting into that team? He's not getting in that team. That's crazy, though, because he's so good

Very good. And I think he could be nuts. And if you're going to go with Joe Gomez, I think that's a good choice. Yeah, yeah, yeah

Bargain him in. Okay, so you've stolen my pick, you asshole. Oh, my bad, man

But I feel like in this case, if you don't want to... My fault, OG. If you don't want to spend a bang for your buck

I feel like there's one player A level below in terms of Ability

But he's pretty much the same caliber of player That makes sense

What's really annoying I don't want Declan Rice I didn't pick my favorite white yardie

But I love him though Shout out Declan Rice You're my favorite white Jamaican

I love you bro Enzo Fernandez I knew it Think about it

That only makes the most sense. If you're not going to go Pedri, you got to go Inzo and Clive Asana

So I rate my team I now spent And I got to spend on my last two players So far I spent a whopping total of plus 2 plus 1

I've spent a whopping $6. Are you good? I am very good for my attack

Oh my god. Yes. So now, moving into our last two slots, we have, for $5, you got Ousmane Dembele

For $4, you got Vinny Jr. For $3, you got Robert Lewandowski

For $2, you got Jirassi. From Dortmund. And for $1, you got Rasmus Hoyland

Oh, s***. And I've got $6 to spend. You've got $6, my boy

Two forward slots. Where you going with this? Wait, I don't mind where this is going

$4. Welcome to the club, Vinicius Jr. Vinicius Jr. You love me some Vinny

I love me some Vinny. Welcome to the club. You know what? We need..

I don't know necessarily what we need, but I'm rating Vinny. And I've got to say, I know he's just won the Ballon d'Or, but Dembele for five, that's terrible value for money

That is terrible value for money. But you know what? I got some good options up on the board and I'm going to take Mr. Ballon d'Or himself, Ousmane Dembele with $5 and I still have $4 left

Oh, so we'll see what I do with that. But Ousmane Dembele, you already know, Ousmane Dembele and small-sided, bro

Going at you both feet? Come on. I'd rather have Vinny than Ousmane Dembele

Yo, that's a hot take. Oh, it is not hot. Why do you think you'd have Vinny in small-sided more than Demele

Techers. Skills. I just rate Vinny. Like, if you think about it, right

Here's my logic. Five a side, everyone's just man for man, right? And then you've got to switch up and whatever

but you're effectively just marking someone. Yeah. Right. Vinny's defensive work rate, a little bit underrated

I think if you can get him to run, he'll run. And then in one-on-ones, it doesn't matter

When have you ever seen Vinicius Jr. against except against like kyle walker for some reason every time uh back in the day when does he

ever lose a one-on-one i've never really he takes on a lot of people and i'm not gonna lie bro i feel

like this season he's been very underrated in regards to that so that's why i'm going for vinny

you got to go vinny with that four dollars okay i currently have four dollars left yeah tom has

two or two dollars yeah so i'm cooked let's see who you got five dollars laminia mall four dollars

gets you Harry Kane. $3 gets you Alexander Eshak. $2 gets you Victor Giochores

And $1 gets you Atletico Madrid's finest, Alexander Sorloff, aka Erling Haaland

baby version. Which one are you taking? I'm taking Sorloff and I'm keeping a dollar

Yeah, you gotta keep the dollar. I'm taking Sorloff and I'm keeping a dollar

I like that. I'm saving it for a rainy day. You know what? For this, I'm spending all my good ones

and I am taking Harry Kane to slot in as my number nine to hold the ball up

In five a side for me You need a guy like that Harry Kane

Alright guys After choosing our squads Let's go over the final results Tom

What was your final squad? Alisson Annette Joe Gomez Enzo Fernandez Is my you know

Linking up center mid-ish thing In five a side Vinicius Jr And then

I'm taking Alexander Solot And saving the dollar For a rainy day

Saving the dollar for a rainy day And you know what That's quite nice You know what I mean Just save a buck

You feel better about it That's a cute squad. You know, sometimes it's a cute squad

Like, you know, you know when a girl that, like, you know, doesn't really like you, it's cute. Like, you're cute

But, you know, it's a cute squad. It's a cute squad. A girl that doesn't like you is cute. Yeah, you might, she might think you're cute, but she wouldn't really date you

Like, your squad's cute. Like, I wouldn't really, like, manage it, but it's a cute squad, you know

To finish up rounding out my squad, let me give you a quick overview. In net, we have Jan Sommer for $3

In the back, we have Ronald Araujo for $2. Very athletic. I like him holding it down for me

in the midfield the man himself warren zeyer emery on a low budget but he could still control

the play i really like him at forward we broke the bank for the ballon door winner osmond dembele

come on now and to end it off we got the man himself the guy who's breaking bundesliga records

harry kane bro that's an elite squad but we're not done yet and if you're enjoying this episode

make sure you like comment subscribe and let us know down in the comment section what you guys

think of our world-class squads we got 15 dollars back in the bank who gave us 15 more dollars shout

out producer ken let's go yes sir thank you producer ken i'm broke now we get to pick one

manager one stadium one kit one fan base and one name the names are very mysterious so we'll see

what they give to us so we don't know what the names we don't know what the names are we don't

know what the names are but we have to start off with the manager let's see who's going to be

leading our world-class five-a-side teams. Or for Tom, your cute team, because your team is cute

I not going to lie So to make it a little bit more intimidating this time at we got Pep got pep guardiola his bald head could definitely add some some meanness to your squad for four dollars you have the man himself hansi flick for three dollars you got arne slot your king

for two dollars you got david moise and for one dollar you got the bald fraud ten hog do i get

to pick first this time yes dude give me moise bro i want david moise to manage my team i want

to play the most disgusting, unwatchable five-a-side. Oh, my God. But we are not conceding goals

You're probably not going to concede goals. We are not conceding goals, and it's Ballon at Vinny

I rate this. You know who I'm going to get? Go on. You know who I'm going to get? I'm going to have to rub his big bald head for good luck

Arne Slott. I'm taking your manager, bro. You are? I am. I like that attack. Do you know what

You've just picked the Liverpool manager, and I've picked the Everton manager

Isn't that insane? Oh, look. But this is nice. This is nice. This is a moment of..

I'm so desperately wanting to beat you that I have abandoned my principles as Olympus

I like that. You know what I'm saying? I like David Moyes for $2. That's not a bad goal

Thank you, Ken. But $3, I'll take Arne's slot. All right, moving on to the stadium now

For $5, you got Tottenham Stadium. For $4, you got Bayern Munich Stadium, Allianz Arena

For $3, you got Old Trafford. For $2, you got Craven Cottage

And for $1, you got Luton Town Stadium that's in the middle of the city

Which one are you choosing? These stadiums are all trash. Yeah, I don't know, man

No, Tottenham Stadium is incredible, bro. I don't know if you've seen it. Yeah, but it's NFL field, isn't it

I mean, right now it is. But like Tom, you've seen Premier League matches being played on it

It's nice, bro. Yeah, but it's Tottenham. No one's in the stands. Hey, man, listen, they got trophies now

They got a nice stadium. I don't know about Tottenham. They're starting to come up. I want an atmosphere, right

I want it to feel enclosed. I want it to be so packed. I want it to be uncomfortable, within reason, still safety

to get into my stadium, which is why Kenilworth Road, home of Luton Town

Luton Town. That's not bad. That's a good pull. It's going to be great. I'm not going to lie

It's going to be absolutely great. Out of all the stadiums right now, for $4, I'm going with Allianz Arena

because you know in Allianz Arena, whenever you hear Bayern Munich score those goals

and you keep on hearing that song, you know that song that Bayern Munich plays

whenever they score? It makes you not even want to play anymore, bro. I can see why so many teams concede like five goals to Bayern at Allianz Stadium

Because every time I hear that damn song when Bayern scores, I get so annoyed

So I couldn't imagine what it's like for the players. And to be fair, you've got Harry Kane in your team as well

And I do got Harry Kane, man. You already know we got hit our songs waiting for him

You already know that. Moving on to the kits. $5 gets you FC Barcelona's kits

$4 gets you Liverpool's. $3 gets you Chelsea's. $2 gets you Man City's

and $1 gets you St. Troydans in the Belgian League. That's a random list of club kits

So like the Belgian League one has tons of ads on it, right? I think you either go clean as hell or loads of sponsors

You see like Liga MX teams and they've just got like everything

Like their faces are basically sponsored. It looks hard as... I'm not going to lie

Are you going to choose that one? No. Oh, okay. Which one are you going for? I'm going to choose Liverpool

Liverpool's kits for $4? Yeah. Have you seen, mate Liverpool's kits are pretty hard this year

Have not many The teal kit I told you about the teal kit, bro The teal kit Yeah

Is one of the best Liverpool kits I've seen Because it pays homage to back in like the 80s

When you had the candy Yeah Remember the candy at the front Oh yeah You know, Kenny Dalglish was scoring goals back in the day

Oh my goodness That kit is class And you guys brought it back for sure

So, to be fair I've now spent $2, $1 and $4 Quick maths

I've spent $7 $7 And moving on I'm going to get the Chelsea kits for $3

I thought the Chelsea kit looks fire. The one with the old crest in the middle with the Nike kit

the black one that Esteval's been hooping in. I love that kit. Not going to lie

But the thing is with that is that they don't have a sponsor yet, do they? They do not have a sponsor

Which kind of weirds me out. You don't like the no sponsor thing. What do you prefer? More sponsors or less

I'll go more sponsors over no sponsors. More sponsors? Yeah. You like a little logo, Tom

Yeah, why not? I like that. That's not bad. And in fact, all of you sponsors, please buy an episode of The Rondo

See? I've spent $10 so far. Thomas spent $7. I've spent $7

I'm not going to lie. You're really good at bargain binning for the first three categories

You like to shine for the rest. Yeah, I do. Okay. Fan base, we got Dortmund for $5

For $4, you got PSG. For $3, you got Arsenal. For $2, you got Atletico Madrid

And for $1, you got Manchester United. Do you know what's funny? I hate three of the fan bases here

Yeah. I can't stand Arsenal fans. Love you, bro. Hate Arsenal fans

I can't stand United fans because Man United, like I can't ethically do that

Do you know what I mean? Even if Manchester United had great fans I could not look into that camera and be like I would like a Manchester united fan base like i would probably be disowned yeah like genuinely like i call my dad up be like

how are you be like well i watched the episode the rondo so i'm really bad awesome so and then

i don't like psg fans very much oh man that's a surprising one no well because psg feel a bit like

too shiny and new like i want heritage okay right atletico madrid two bucks atletico madrid two

You know, it's crazy. I love my fan base to have some social media content around it

And I love watching Mad EFC and Good Vibes, John. So give me Man United. $1 for their fan base

Bro, Manchester United's fan base will give me endless content for days

I'm good with it. That's true. I've developed quite a hipster football club and a very mediocre team

Yeah. Oh, no. But I've f***ed up, though, haven't I? Oh. Because I've got Vinicius Jr. in my squad

And I've got athletic fans. Oh, my goodness. It's over for you. Okay

It's over for you. All right. Now, last but not least, we have. Hang on

How much do you have to spend left? OK, so with one dollar, I have four dollars

You have four bucks. Yeah. So whatever comes up for four bucks is yours. Yes

Do I have four dollars as well? No, I've five. I have five

Yeah. So we'll see. Let's see what producer Ken has chosen for. So I have to get whatever's five dollars

Yeah. And I have to get whatever's four dollars. All right. And the first name is for $1 gets you Real Bad FC

Real Bad? Real Bad FC. Like Real Bad or Real Bad? Real Bad

That's kind of hard. That's kind of hard. For $1 gets you the name Real Bad FC

I'm not going to lie. With a Spanish accent added to it, that one's kind of fired

I can't do a Spanish accent. The issue is I actually wouldn't mind that, but I've got Real Madrid player, Atletico Madrid fan base

Not going to work. yeah no sorry the two dollar name is the rolling balls

the rolling balls at number two and i'm so glad i didn't have two dollars because the rolling

balls that's a crazy name but i would not want that as my team name for sure three dollars at

number three we got athletic silver lake why is that hard it's a hard name athletic silver lake

And I can't take it. We can't take it, bro. I can't take... That's sick

That's a sick name, bro. So these next two better be... So this $4 name..

This $4 name is yours. It's my name. Whatever it is. Yes, it is. Okay, go on

For $4, the name of my five-a-side club is... Drumroll, please. You ready

Tell them. You are the Shadowhawks. Shadowhawks? That's decent. Shadowhawks, I like that because I lurk

I lurk. And then I catch my prey. You feel me? That's what I'm going to do with you. that in the five-a-side tournament for sure

Can I like that? Can I be honest? I like that. What's up? I think that's crap. You think that's crap

Okay, let's see what your name is, big guy. Come on now. All right

Last but not least, for $5 and Tom's name of his club

Please be good. Please be good. Let's give a drum roll, please. Please be good. Please be good. Please be good

Please be good. Please be good. Crimson Rain FC. That's hard. That goes so hard

That goes so hard. We are Crimson Rain. I love how producer Ken has probably chat GPT'd the shit out of those, but that is a sick name

All right. Let's to review. Let's see. Yeah. For Tom's team, your manager at $2 was David Moyes

Yes. Your environment at $1 stadium was Luton Town. Yeah. For Kitts, for $4, you picked Liverpool

Yeah. For $2, you had Atletico Madrid. Yeah. And your club name is Crimson Reign FC

Dude, I'll tie you up. That's pretty strong. You might be better on the pitch, but we have got great branding

I know. We've got great branding. What do you guys think? What do you think has the better overall club

Well, it depends. It depends what you value, right? Okay. Because like, here's the thing

I think you're putting a better product on the pitch. Yeah. But like, let's be honest

Like, football's about like TikTok aura edits. Yeah. Right? Like, that's just what it is

And like, if you picture the scene, I've got a packed like stadium, right

I've got sick kits and we're called the Crimson whatever. the Crimson Reign

Crimson Reign FC we are finishing mid table but my god we are selling shirts

you guys are like the upgraded like hashtag United like if they made the Prem you guys would be them

I'm not sure I'm in love with that comp but yes yeah

but yes for sure for sure I'm not gonna lie I'm loving these clubs

and I'm loving the stadium atmosphere that you built at Luton Town

I'm going to a game of yours for sure come on now I would have to slide

I gotta support my buddy's cute club at the end of the day nice call back bro so there's our teams make sure you guys let us know in the comment section

what do you guys think of our world-class five-a-side clubs me or tom who do you think

has the better one let us know