From Prison To Premier League: Troy Deeney's Redemption Journey | Beast Mode On

If one of my little mates didn't come and knock the door, we'd be dead

To get my dad out the house was two riot vans and four squad cars

Bury my dad on a Friday, go jail on a Monday. The day you got scouted, you was drunk

Yeah. 14 grand lasted me three days. It's actually getting me upset. I don't do emotion

Hey, yo, what's going on, people? It's your boy, Adibay Racking, Femme, a.k.a. Mr Beast Mode

a.k.a. the strongest man to ever grace the beautiful game. Welcome to the Beast Mode podcast

And today I've got a certified beast. And I don't throw that out lightly

I won't even lie. This brother scored over 200 goals, scored against United, City, Arsenal and Liverpool

But I did that as well. So I won't brag about that one. Do you know what I'm saying? Welcome, Mr. Troy Deeney

Appreciate you all having me. and we're not going to skip over that

The strongest player ever. Ever. Like, ever. Can you give yourself that title

No, no. It wasn't me. It was like the world gave me that. Oh, the world gave you that. Like, the world gave me that

Like, I've always said this. You know, Space Jam and all them things. So, you know, if they came down

and they needed to, like, assemble the strongest footballer to save the world, you know their man ain't calling you

I'm just saying, you know, That's cool. Thanos and Akin Femba, we kind of in the same kind of

in the same room. Again, I see something recently with you doing that. We just watched it on the way down

Like, you're giving yourself these sayings. Well, how? So you tell me this

How many Troy Deenys would it take to take on... Hold on, no, no, no, no, no

My kid's over there. He has to give me the same stupid question. No, not the gorilla. Not the gorilla. Sometimes some people may say something scarier

Okay. But, like, you know what I'm saying? Like, how many Troy Deenys would it take to take down a prime Akinfenwa

One. What do you say? It's me. Brother. The worst thing is, I said five

You said five of you to take down you. Wait, listen, I'm just saying, one for my right arm

my left arm, my left right leg, left leg, and then my neck

So five of you can take me, because if any of them was free, whoo! I just have to kick you with your one bad knee

No, this is prime. My knee was good then. Kick you with your one bad knee, this is finished

You think one? One, one me. Because the difference is, right, and this is going to be nice

I'll be as honest as I can here. I'm respectful, because you've got your little big brother over there as well

like security, just watching. I'm watching you, but I can see him. You know them ones

I'm watching you but I can see him he's everywhere with me I won't lie he's everywhere with me

just in case just in case no what it is is and this is going to sound quite heinous

you're not prepared to go to where I'm prepared to go to win I'm glad you touched on that

I'm glad because we're going to go I will poke you in your eyeball we're going to come grab your nuts

twist them and headbutt you at the same time you know I'm Nigerian

you know what I'm saying biting bio biting listen Listen, you and your..

Remember, I've seen you perform over a large part of your career

I was around. So even though I'm 36, I think people think I'm like 45

You're not going to do that to me. I'm sorry. You're not going to do that to me. How old are you? I thought we were the same age

How old are you? Ain't we 45? You're not on the floor for you. How old are you

Let's take this back, though. Let's take this back. Let's take this back all the way back

To when I was younger or when you were younger? Well, to when you were young. Because people are going to still think

when they look at it, we was the same age. I am older than him. Let me just throw that down

Let's take it back to the beginning. The beginning of Troy. Go on. So, like everybody

I would say, when they were young, did you always want to be a footballer? Mm-mm. No

No. This wasn't my dream. That wasn't my dream at all. No

I wanted to be a firefighter. Come again? I wanted to be a firefighter

because the only person in my family at that time, and he actually wasn't family

he was like, you know, that uncle, he's not really your uncle. Yeah, yeah. He was a

who was making legal money and looked successful to me was a fireman

And I used to be very lazy, believe it or not. I used to have four days on and four days off

So all I could think about was if I were a firefighter, I'd get four days off. And that was the extent of my dream

What? So, okay. That was it, genuinely. So what age then did football..

But I always played football. Yeah, okay. So I played football from when I could... I don't remember a time in my life without football

At that, what moment was you, when you was playing around other people

that you was just like, I'm better than these people? 24. That late

Yeah, when I was, first year I scored 25 in the champ. That's, so hold on, hold on, hold on

So, but I knew I was better than the people I was playing with at 13. But you got to remember, like

again, I speak about this, not to be like anyone feels sorry for me, but obviously I had the incident with my dad

beat up me and my mum, right? I was nine at the time

Sorry, and I'm going to say this, right? For me, these are pinnacle moments

Nine. So tell me, because I always say you're a product of your environment

and you're a product of experiences which shapes you. Yeah. So that nine-year-old Troy

when that incident happened, how did that shape you? As in, and again

this is not just football. Yeah, yeah, no, but I'm saying, this is why I wanted this conversation

because you are more than just a footballer. This is not me blowing smoke up

You're more than just a footballer. And there's going to be individuals out here

that relate to stuff that goes from the day to day. I say it

It's not to like, I think, I believe in the snowball effect. I've told you this before

If I can impact one person that watches this, that one does three, three does five, so on and so forth

So yeah, that incident was like, I think now obviously doing therapy

it's like fight and flight, isn't it? You don't really know. but basically my mum had left my dad

My dad didn't like it. And for about three to four months, we basically weren't allowed to tell my dad where we'd lived

So if he met us or picked us up, it was like at an aunt's house or, do you know what I mean

That was like far from us. Anyway, on this particular day, my dad obviously had been out and about and doing whatever he's doing

And he was obviously, no, now he was high and drunk and angry

Do you know what I mean? basically he didn't like he felt slighted yeah that my mom had left at him do you get what i'm

saying so what had happened in that regard was we get in the car and he's like he's basically said

to my little brother who's about i'm nice my brother would have been five slash six like my

brother's like oh we we ride our bikes this way home okay so my dad's now like all right tell me

where it gets there anyway knocks the door pushing my mum through the door blah blah blah

and obviously at this point now he's hitting my mum innit so I'm nine innit I don't know about

if I'm nine or ninety like no one's gonna put their hands on my mum so you stay there you you

you take a kick in but it is what it is and to this day I promise you this is not an exaggeration

I'd be dead if one of my little mates didn't come and knock the door we'd be dead we'd have killed us

So, look, again, I can't even fathom that. I won't even- Let me package this up to you, right

So my little mate knocks the door. When dad opens it, screams at this kid

This kid, little white kid at the time, Lee, runs home, tells his mom

There a man at Troy house never seen him before he screaming and shouting but I can hear people screaming right To get my dad out the house was two riot vans and four squad cars

Think how many people that is to get in my house. How does that impact the nine-year-old Troy going forward

It's heartbreaking. That's my hero, isn't it? That's why I don't have heroes. That's why I don't believe in when they say you're a role model

Your role model can let you down in an instant. Don't put footballers as your role model

Don't put an actor. Do you know what I mean? I hear you. So, obviously it's nice for people

Maybe that's a bit of trauma that I need to work through and all of that. But for me, it's like, who are you on a day-to-day basis

I am, what I say, I'm a piece of paper that's crumpled up. I'm not that neat piece of paper that you can write

Yeah, yeah, I hear that. Do you know what I mean? I hear that. So, no, what it did for me at that point, obviously it was heartbreaking

him then we go it goes into embarrassment because i had to have a social worker at school

so now imagine i got someone at the time felt like your size sat on them kiddie chairs you know

you have to go do parenting you can't even get in and he sat next to me all the time and i felt like

everyone was just watching me so as soon as i went to secondary school i had that for a year as soon

as i went to secondary school i was like switch flicked and i was like right how do i do it so no

one does that again. So I've got the record that my old school is knocked down now, but

for the most detentions in the year, I had 252 detentions. Everyone thought

he was crazy. Did all the stupid shit we could do so that people

would leave me alone. But then was football either one year escape or

because you see life such at an early age, football was just a game. Fun. Yes

And this is why I can never understand when people wrap their head around like, football

Well, that's three outcomes. You win, you lose, you draw. Guess what

You do it again. Championship or EFL, you do it in two days. Premier, you do it in four to five

That's the most negative thing that could happen. The most negative thing

that could happen is somebody online or a pundit like me or you goes

he's not very good. Yeah. And that's the worst that could happen

All right, sound. Put me in that atmosphere all day, every day. You know what I'd say

You know what I think the beautiful thing is, right, is the fact where, I always say this

like you said, and you agreed that you're a product of your environment. And I always say

Bob, when you find out or you get comfortable with who you are, you see the world

in such a plain sight. Do you know what I'm saying? You learn at nine

what it takes individuals to learn sometimes in a lifetime. So my thing was

the most important thing was playing football. The most important thing for you was

Bob, at nine, you, to stay alive in regards to your situation

So, like you said, and then all of a sudden, you've got through that manoeuvre that then 18

it's a different, and then we have kids and then we all start realising. I did him at 20

Jesus. Yeah, 20. I was 20 when I had the little man over there

Sorry, give me that look. Every time I call him little man, he's like, I'm big now. Trust me. I had the little man at 20

Went to jail at 21. No, 22. Yeah, that was all right

So 20, the month after I was 21 and I went to jail at 22

So is it true the day you got scouted you was drunk? Yeah

What? Don't take the piss. You scored seven goals? I scored a few in it

But basically what happened was I used to be a builder so obviously I got kicked out of school

in year 10 but they let me do year 11 but only allowed to play

the football matches. I wasn't allowed to take the GCSEs and all of that

so um i went to carillion uh building school past that by like 17 18 just about past that

because i was terrible but i got through um and then basically i was on the job on it just doing

a job and and the job finished that friday so each week you get 220 250 whatever you want 200

obviously you go home mom that's yours you know what do we need blah blah blah and then whatever's

Martin, I'm out, innit? I'm out with the lads. What age was this? 18

Okay. So I'm 18 now and I'm obviously... So where are you playing

Where is this? Townsend Town. This is Midland Camp 2. So this is step 12. Okay, so this is non-league

For individuals, this is non-league. Yeah, but I'm paying to play. You're not getting paid

I'm paying £20 per month to play. Damn. In this team, yeah

Like, this is not... This is just our thing from home, innit

Do you know what I mean? And to me, that was at the time the biggest thing

Like if I could get in that team with my mates and the people that I've seen around my area doing well

I'll be respected. And that's a lot of, from the incident, again, total flip-flop, but from that incident at nine

once I got to like secondary school, it was all about being respected. In no matter which way, I will be respected

Okay. Whether you give it me or I've got to make you. Okay. you will respect me by the end of it

Again, and now I was a 36-year-old with four kids. Sound like an arsehole, but that was the mentality

That's where you are. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, obviously playing. I went out Friday night because obviously I'm sacked now, innit

The job's done. So it's like, are you going to worry about it over the weekend or just wait till Monday and try to figure it out, innit

So I gave my mum her money. Went out Friday, went out out Friday. Got home about three, four

My mum, still to this day, cleans on a Saturday. tunes on, works away from top to bottom

gets to my room, you got to get out. I'm like, all right, check the phone

Lads are playing. Let's go and play football. As the bag, muddy boots

quick brush of teeth and all that, fly across, because it was literally across the road. But I'm playing with one of the lads

I won't say his name, but it was like 25. He's doing an M stretch now

I'm playing with these guys, but again, now for me, it's like, how do I get their respect

So the way I can do that is I can be just as physical. I can run hard

Do you know what I'm saying? It's all of these types of things. So anyway, goal play, whatever, whatever

Score a few goals. Life's good. After the game, we're walking in

And they used to put chips and chipboard-y type thing on afterwards

Obviously, it's first come first serve. So when them chips are done, you ain't getting none in it. But obviously, I'm thinking now

And also, I think I've said this probably. When I got there, because I was hanging, I had a double-jack Daniels and Coke to level it off

Do you know what I mean? No. Talk to me. Nah, so if you're a bus, yeah

the best thing to level you out is another drink, can't it? Don't then try and come off the wagon

You've got to have another one. So it's not water? No, no. Water's overrated

Only now I'm drinking water. Kids drink water. But, and as I'm walking in

sorry, as I'm walking into the thing, this guy, Mick Housel, now who obviously changed my life

or changed all our family's life, he was like, who are you

Where have you been? Like, how old are you? I was like 18 but I'm just looking

over his shoulder the whole time like counting how many people have gone in to get the chips

yeah I'm fuming and he's like come to Warsaw and like Warsaw this

and I'd never been outside of Birmingham at this point so I didn't even know

where Warsaw was and if you put it into perspective it's not knowing where Watford is in London

but I like alright yeah Warsaw yeah okay mate no problem it like Monday be there Yeah yeah yeah yeah Fly and get my chips Go out Saturday Play Sunday League

Get in a fight Sunday League. Go out Sunday. And then I'm in bed, like, hurting now

Three days on it. And the door's just banging. I'm like, who's that

Did I even open the door? You're not at the top window. Like, what? So, you got that trial

I'm like, huh? What trial? Tells me about it. All right, cool

Brush my teeth. Throw out the trackie that I wore from the day before

Boots in the Asda bag. Let's go. Guy drops me there. Deck. Always giving credit because he was working as well

He didn't have to come and do it, but he just made sure that I did it. He must have heard that I was out the night before, whatever

Gets there, and he's like, why do I go work now? Good chance

Have a good opportunity. I was like, where are you going? He's like, to work

I'm like, well, how am I going to get home? He's like, Glenn, he's 20 pounds. and then the rest is history

So, of course, once you've got clout and you've put in, people then start saying..

Nah, but you know what? The first day, yeah, I remember it. So, obviously, you go in, say you are

you've got to fill, like, a trial form out and all that. I'm sure you've done that. This, even..

I was scared to sign the form, bro, because I thought I owed someone money. The only time you owed..

The only time you had forms, the only time you had forms, the only time you had forms, is, like, you know, someone's coming to take the TV or something

Do you know what I mean? So, obviously, I did that. and you go in

and they've all got their kit with the numbers on and obviously this is water

it ain't great kit but it's still your own it's a level up from where you've been

they had a towel I was like rah you like shower here I'm used to like

throwing the trackie back on going home and sorting it out so anyway we go and train

I was looking probably similar to you I'm looking at these kids who are like

16, 17, 18, 19 and I'm like you're like a poony like you're too small

to be on the pitch with me and obviously I got picked up as a midfielder it's what people don't know

I'd never played a striker before I'd walked in at Waterloo don't do that though so I was always a midfielder

I was a right back and then a midfielder so anyway like I go in

and like I can't ping a ball because I've never been in the academy system

so my ball is kind of like a bit of a floaty drifty it gets there

but it takes a couple seconds yeah and the managers go to like

Mick's going to be like no just ping it and he's technically gifted kids are zinging it and all that and i'm like jesus christ all right i have to have to

figure this out and then we go so you do rondos you do passage drills and then he goes right we'll

have an 11 b 11 but it's kind of like the 11 that he's got in mind for the saturday and like us yeah

yeah obviously no one's pre-warned me that in it so there's a 50 50 which obviously i win kid goes

off injured. Obviously. Sorry. So obviously. So I'm basically like, what? And they're like, I

you know, can't be tackled like that. I'm like, oh, that's, that's light

Okay, I've told it down. And anyway, as I'm telling it down

it's like, I can't play my way, like half hearted. So he goes

yo, I'm just going to try something. Will you go up front? We haven't got a striker

Will you just go there, be a target man? So I literally had to say to him, like

what's the target man? And he was like, oh, like a, like a crystal, and oh okay cool

I can do that because again I'm a student of the game unbeknownst to me

I'm a student of the game watching all these people understanding it back in the day

obviously you have to draw kits and you know you make your own dream team and all that stuff

so I was like alright cool I can do that and someone just like

pinged the ball up to me and I've just jumped up bang chested it set

it's gone wide crossed it headed it scored and he's like you sure you've never played up front before

I was like nah like was that alright was that good then and he's like

oh yeah so then now I'm in the I'm in the team

on that Saturday he puts me in as a trialist against some under 18s team

first cross bro I forget head of the goalkeeper he's knocked out

don't seem like you're a nice guy at this time I'm just trying to win the ball like

just whip the ball in you're a little bit of a goon I was about to say no I probably was but at this point

obviously the ball comes in I try to win the ball keeper like misses the ball

we clash heads he goes down I'm down you know that moment when everyone's like

oh my god that was that and then I just popped back up I'm like are you right bro

and he's like he's out and I'm like oh okay and I just walk back have a drink

and I'm apologising like sorry I missed a header and the manager's like

what are you talking about I'm like yeah I probably should have scored that anyway that game goes on

I score one and I assist but again this is why I think

I'm here for a reason and people are going to think this is big headed but you will understand it the Warsaw first team manager

came down to watch the game because their game was potentially being called off

he watched the first half because he's gone through the pitch inspection first half I score assist

and obviously I smash the keeper bear in mind their league too at this point so the first thing he says is

who's that and why hasn't he been in that so from that

I ended up with a six month trial no pay just a trade ticket

so they weren't giving expenses just getting you there just got me there and even the amount of the trade ticket that they offered me

wasn't even enough to get me there and back. I had to jump A train to get there, do you know what I mean

And then I went on loan to Hale's Owen and again, mentality, my friend, he will testify

this junior Brown was in the army and he was like coming at the time of his service

So he was like, he was playing in the army, doing boxing and football, but he was obviously good

and he was like I want to try and go to hell's home you come to a game with me

and then we can speak to Martin O'Connor and potentially then like end of the season

we could go in to get like we were trying to like hustle something that we could probably

just get like 50 pound each we were happy with that anyway we're chatting

blah blah blah and he's like yeah yeah yeah cool he's like what's your name I've gone oh

Troy Deed he's like pay for Walsall isn't it I said yeah he's like I'm watching

your game at Tadworth tomorrow you've got blues for the reserves I remember the Resi League used to be sick at it

so I was like okay cool he's like I'm going to watch you there if it's all good

you'll come in here for a month obviously I'm green in it I don't know

managers talk to managers they're going to scout you for this anyway

I do one in that game he takes me alone I go on loan for the month of December

I scored I either scored 8-10 or scored 10-8 I can't remember

it's one of the two ways you scored hella goals yeah and we played

Murph for Tidville away I'll never forget this because I genuinely believe

this is what gave me a career Scored a hat-trick. Obviously, you know them one

Murphy Tidville's like, I think it's North Wales. It's somewhere, but it's far, isn't it? It's up in Wales

because that's why you used to pay for Barry. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah. It's farther, isn't it? It's far, it's far. So anyway

we got back around like 3-4 to the stadium at Hales Owen

Then I'm an hour away from there to mine. So I got home about five

My phone's ringing at, excuse me, at eight o'clock. And obviously it's Mick

so I've answered the phone. Hey, Mick. First team need you. got to be in at nine

text me an hour to get to Warsaw so now ran to the train station

got in at like five to manage to you know we you know we just like

catch the trains like you just and I've got there I sweating I everything and then I look around no one there Like nobody there just me And he goes oh you made it

I'm like, what do you mean? He's like, oh, cool, because there was four of us from Warsaw on loan

And when I called all of you, you're the only one who turned up. And I was like, is this a test

He goes, yeah, you could go home now. Or since you're here. Swear down. He went, as you're here, there's some balls on the astro

and one of the physios and if you want to do a gym session. You choose, though

It's up to you. But you knew what you was doing. Yeah, we know that one. So obviously, then I'm there until four or five in the afternoon

But then, literally at that point, they gave me a contract the next day. So that moment there

So now, everything's been a grind. So at that moment now, you've now signed and you're a professional

Just tell me that moment. Nothing changed. But. Duh. On my life, nothing changed

I was on £120 a week. What the am I supposed to do with that? Let me put this into perspective, yeah

My brother's at Villa at this time. And my brother's like, I've told you before

my brother's the shit, man. I would always give him credit. He's miles better than me at everything

But just mentally, there's a thing with me that he's... My brother's the type, like, if you say to him

if you're here at nine and you do this, you'll get that. He'll be there at nine. And he'll outwork everyone, he'll do it

But for me, it's just like, maybe there's an opportunity. If something may be over there, I'm going

Let's go and have a look. Let's figure it out. Why was the difference between you and your bro and that

I'm older. Also, he went to Villa at six years old, got released at 21 when our dad died

So his love and burning desire for it kind of went with that. But I think if we were being really honest, he had it nice

He's so talented. Do you get me? I trust you. I'm not that talented

I'm just like, right, let's go. Always been a fire, always been a fire

Yeah, yeah. And I've never been, I've always been trying to get like attention

or like gratification. So that Warsaw moment wasn't that. No. It wasn't for you

Because I wasn't even starting for the reserves at that point. Okay. Then we go to play Barnsley away, reserves

And one of the lads who was a striker at the time, he knows it is because we've spoken about it. he had a Louis Vuitton wash bag

now bear in mind I'm from Chalmersy Wood I don't know what Louis Vuitton is

from friggin TK Maxwell that's just a bag with shower gel in it innit

and obviously it's on a space I go ah can I sit down

he's like nah my bag's there and put a seatbelt on his bag what

I sat down and I was literally like this is where I'm trying to figure out

the footballer stuff because in my head I was like just punch him up and take the bag at it

I'm not going to lie to you I don't care. And I'll say this now. I don't care if you was the top striker and had bet

If you did that to me, that your bag was worth more than me sitting down

I ain't going to lie right there, I'm going to punch you up. And I'm not even as aggressive as you. I'd have punched him up then

No, but the thing is, because, man, again, so for as aggressive and as I'm going to get that off you, yeah

I'm a mummy's boy at heart, right? So I've seen what violence can do

so I'm very I'm always and it's going to sound mad obviously when we get

into the jail but I'm always conscious of not trying to be physical

because I know same as you you know if you hit someone

they stay hitting it as they say so anyway I do that but also

I probably should touch on this earlier when I had a a contract like

the trial thing with Warsaw I had to go say to my mum

I can't help you because bear in mind since 10 years old i've been chipping in and helping out so the decision was on

my mom but can we get through this with me not chipping in for six months but living here

because i still gotta eat still got jump in i'm borrowing my brother who's three years younger than

me perjo 106 i mean so i'm either driving him to training to drop him off to go to my training to

do my training to get back to pick him up to then do you get what I'm saying I'm doing all

or I'm driving my mum's focus from there drop her to work from work get to training so and so so

either way there was always a sacrifice for other people and when I signed that contract she said to

me just make sure it was worth it so in that split moment don't ask me why maybe the man upstairs was

like, all right, just log that. Say nothing. I hear you. If you'd have done that five years after, you'd have had no teeth

Yeah, yeah. But he was like, okay, noted. But by the way, you're playing my position

So every day, I'm going to make your life hell. Not by bullying you, not by that

I'm going to score more than you. I'm going to run all over you. I'm going to lift more weight. Bear in mind that this is what people don't know as well

I never lifted a weight before I went to Warsaw. I never

You know when you first go in and you got the balls? I'm like, this thing's happening

This is with like four and six kilos. And the guys are like, where did you find this kid

I'm like, nah, I do press-ups. So what was that moment you broke in

So the first year, that same year, is like they've got the contract

You had Mooney's play with you, right? Tommy Mooney. Tommy came, yeah

So there's actually a funny story. So bear in mind, I was getting bare tests that I didn't realise, yeah

shaped me perfectly for now. So anyway, I'm on trial, come back, get the contract

I'm training first team, playing reserve games. You know the spiel. I know it, yeah

But then basically whenever, because I was close, yeah, but they were getting promoted at it from League Two

They were going off as champions. And Richard Money used to say to me, right, we're going to play Northampton there

So I want you to watch Bayo, do a full report, travel with the team, get used to travelling

what it's like but you've got to do a full report on bail and I want it on my desk

Monday morning I'm actually scouting you because he wants to know what am I learning

from the game am I actually watching the game so anyway we did Wickham away

played Wickham funnily enough Moons was there I had to do a full report

on a 37 year old Tommy Mooney bear in mind Tommy was my hero

at Blues as well so anyway I was like fat lazy doesn't really run

great movement no excellent in the air did this full thing fast forward

three months who did we sign Tommy Mooney so obviously I'm like

oh hell that was a guy from Wicca I could run all over him Gaffa goes

come into the office come into the office got Moons there and I see my piece of paper

I was like oh no do you know when you you know that like

at this moment you know we ed up yeah yeah that was that I was like oh shit

he's like we just signed Tommy he's obviously going to come in leadership all that

I just want you to read what you said about Tommy to Tommy I was like

alright it at this point we're here so I just read it all word for word

Tommy starts laughing he goes how many times have you scored at Anfield and I went never

and he went ok then until you do learn your place

you'll be with me now but fair play you got some nuts

because most people wouldn't have done that so fair play to you and literally to this day

Moons is one of my like mentors with anything with life if I go on thinking

about doing this I'll figure about that literally two weeks ago he messaged me he was like I've seen you everywhere

are you sleeping he was the first one that taught me how to be a pro

we then got Michael Ricketts who taught me how to be a player and then we got

Darren Byfield who taught me how to mix both football lifestyle my aggression

and how taught me how to be like a a black player

do you get what I mean and you understand that I understand the worst thing is I understand that

I do think we should elaborate on that bit because I understand it

I understand that. So what I mean by that is in the space, especially in the lower leagues

at the time, it was very, obviously it was very dominant with white people. I'm comfortable in those spaces anyway

similar as you are. But he was like, you see when you come in with a hoodie

and you're loud and you're this, that puts the manager off like that

So maybe you can do the loud hoodie, whatever, but in the car

So no, I agree. But it's not like, it's not a race thing. It's just like, yo, you've got to understand

how to play the game. At the time. Yeah, for that time. So at the time, of course, we've evolved

Yeah, of course. Social media. So even now, you've got managers that know what the best track is

and when tracks are played. But in our time, it wasn't. It was very, football was very, very regimented

For me, I was a big, I was the biggest person in the room

black or white. But I was a big black. So I know, before I even said anything, I had a bald head

Before I even said anything, I was intimidated. So I... But you're only small though, aren't you

People don't realise that. No, I'm a big man in that. Big man in that You know what I'm saying We can tell a story 5'8 6'1 6'1

Don't lie 6'1 I am I'm 6'1 What are you I'm 6'1

We're the same You're shorter than me bro You're all right Anyway carry on

Sorry please So funny enough is That Tommy Mooney You know when I first

Saw you I think I was at Swansea And you was at Warsaw

I was at Northampton But it was one of them It was the first time And you was playing

With Tommy Mooney And funny when you say that story, because Tommy Mooney straight away said

don't I like salad? That was his first word to me. He come back and said, what, you don't like salad, do you

I looked at this brother like, you don't even know me, cuz. But I remember

because you was young and the top was baggy on you. Yeah

But you was hella strong. But who is this brother giving my defenders

so much trouble? That's what, so I'm watching, so of course we're on opposite. Yeah

And I'm like, this, but you know when you've roughed up. But I couldn't win though

wasn't it? Yeah, but he was roughing up my defect. So that was the first time where I was like

nah, but bro, I'll never forget this story. It has to be said

So we went through this phase, yeah, 1v1, everything's kind of, let's say I put

remember the old prox, I'd put DP in your boxes, for example

yeah? And for people to know, you put DP at a line, you rub it in with the boxes

the person comes, they put it on, obviously the Gucci's a little bit

tingly for a while. So anyway, it started off like that, yeah

and it had this like, it went on for every day for about three weeks

to the point where the manager come in and was like, lads, it's embarrassing now

So Jez undid the wheel on Foxy's car. So then Foxy tried to drive off

and they had to call him, like, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, don't like, your wheel's going to come off

yeah. Then we, then Jez had this Volvo and someone parked it like

bro he's a good 20 minutes away you know where the car has to follow it

so he thinks he's got robbed and he's stressing and then but this one day

so Dwayne Mattis he he came in and it was like it was about five of us

versus five of them and he came in and put dead rats

in people's wash bags so so you know when you come back in now

you're chatting and you're like boom boom and you're trying to grab it the episode

pull out this dead rat like this big this is the funny part yeah

I get in my car because obviously I didn't have a wash bag at the time so I get in my car

the rat's in the passenger seat with a seatbelt on the honest thing is

I have never I've heard washroppers in a car rat and obviously

because he's got Jez now Jez came in with a snake and we're all in

when is man getting hold of these stuff I don't know we just got stupor and Jez just threw the snake

in the changing room and on the changing room door it was like a handle on the outside you could hold it

so we just threw that in and then just held the door and

it may have been 30 seconds it felt like three lifelves I am so scared of snakes

it's a joke I've never squealed ran and jumped so high in my life

and this snake's just and it got to the point the manager's like

this has got to stop this has got to stop you know what's a good segue at this point in

cultures of changing rooms and I think cultures and changing rooms are so powerful

so you went from Warsaw scored so then Watford comes in yeah

so now you're professional yeah scoring goals I'm not saying it's coming easy

because I won't even but you're scoring goals and now people are chatting about me people are chatting about you

so now the Watford's coming and not only are they chatting about you they're now paying you

for your services so up until this point now football's been you've either played to play

or they'll just give you the bare minimum. Now it's got to that stage where..

This is the funny thing, yeah. So the year I left Walsall

was on £180 a week. Is that in League One? League One, £180 a week

And I got like, the most I could earn in a week was £350

We'd have to win. I'd have to start, we'd have to win. I'd have to score four

You know them type of things. So, but again, like... It is what it is, Eddie

At this point, I'm all right. Life's okay. So anyway, Cholton were like the front runners

I was meant to be in there and they were going to offer me three grand a week

And I remember when I heard £3,000, I was like, rah, I'm only worth three grand

because I thought that was the, what they were going to pay to buy me was three grand

Okay. And then they were like, no, no, you're going to get £3,000 per week

and I was like right three times 52 oh that's that's real money

so at this point I was like so is that the first time you got excited yeah like okay

this is like you know you know what it's like you're already you're already spending

I was excited already I've been excited way before you get me but you know

what people don't understand is when you when someone says three grand a week there's not a

tax bit that comes in here there's none of that you're thinking I can run through

three grand in one week and I'll get exactly three grand the next week

and hold on it doesn't matter if I play if I lose I get that

oh my god yeah so anyway at this point now this is in the off season like June

mid June and my age at the time was like that's crap

you ain't signing that I'm like bro do you know where I live like

do you know what people will do for that don't and then he goes Watford

I'm like Watford I ain't heard of them it's John Barnes like that kind of my dad used to speak about John Barnes I never really seen Watford or heard of Watford So I was like okay I don know Like I heard of Cholton

Blues played there in the Prem. And I went there as a fan

So I kind of knew that. And he was like, they're offering five grand to me. I was like, Cholton, bro

I was like, where are we going? They were like, yeah, they're offering five grand to me

I was like, yo. I was like, I don't care where it is. Yeah

Let's just get it done. And I got my deal done at 12 o'clock Friday

So, but in the two weeks before that, it was kind of like they were going to let me go

They weren't going to let me go. They weren't going to let me go. And then I got told, you know, as you get told

like, listen, you're going to have to kick up a fuss here. Yeah. And obviously at this point, they're saving five grand

To put it into perspective, yeah, the house that we lived in that I bought was 58,000

But you ain't got to put it in. No, but I just wanted to let the people know that

going, hold on a second, my mum's grafting, I'm grafting, my brother's

grafting. So regardless of what I've got to do to go, I'm going. So I listened to him like

how bad do I need to go? Because I'll, listen, I'll take tyres off cars

and no one's leaving until we get this done, do you know what I mean? And he's just like

nah, nah, just, you know, train half-hearted. Who was the manager at Walsh at the time? Chris

Hutchins, but he had Martin O'Connor there, who was the guy who took me in at Hales Owen, so me and Skip

kind of got on, and we laugh about it now, yeah, but I was so rude

to him one time, yeah, because he was trying to say to me, look, I don't understand

from his perspective. His perspective was, keep me for a year. They can obviously do well

They'll probably move on because they know I'm definitely moving on. Do you get what I mean? But he was like

if without Troy, this team's going to fall apart. And again, older me now

could understand and think, okay, understand where you was at. And he used to drive

this gold Saab, and I even feel embarrassed saying this, but it's just the truth

So he used to drive this gold, dropped-top Saab and I was training

and I was kicking balls away and like, you know how the thing goes

I'm kicking it off the fences. And I remember him say to me like

he went, he's like, you know all the money's got to come to you

Like, you know, I was at Blues and I was like this. I was like, yeah bro, but look at the dead car you drive

Bear in mind, I don't even own a car at this point. Yeah, yeah. But I'm like, you're talking to me like you've passed it

you've done it. I'm like, do you think I'm retiring and driving a gold sub? That's mental

Yeah, you're bad, man. And I remember Bias was like, you can't say that

I was like, listen, someone needs to let me go because we've got a week till the season starts

I ain't playing the game in it. And basically, yeah, we got the deal done that Friday

But the deal in itself is so me, isn't it? I went down on the Wednesday, the Thursday night

because they told me it was done. So I go to Software House, have the medical, all good

But my mum drove me down. We get there and this is like 11pm

Deal's off. What do you mean, deal's off? We've done the medical. We're checking in to like, I'm ready to go

Deal's off. Now my mum's upset. I'm like, I don't understand football

I'm ready to just punch anyone's head in at this point. My mum's like, just get in the car

We'll go home. We'll figure it out. Get back home. 7am. deals on you going today

Now I'm going, what the happened? I was there, now I'm not here

Now my mum's at work, I don't know how I'm going to get there. Then once you come into Warsaw

manager wants to do something. So I'm like, all right, whatever. But you got to get your heart

you know, the ECG scans. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I ended up driving to Wolverhampton

got my ECG at half eight, got into training for nine. No, half nine

10 o'clock start. Walk in, Bear in mind, I broke out in these big stress spots, bro

Like, boom, boom, boom. And the manager goes, just want to say thanks for everything

He called you in to say thank you. I was like, I mean, are you a

He wanted to say thank you, brother. Text me in it. He wanted to give you a hug

No, we didn't get no hugs. I was grabbing boots. The lads were like, I tried to, you, lady

I'm gone. I need to go and sign this deal. So they had to fly down to Beaconsfield service station

Signed it there at like 12.01. Jenny met me there from the club

She's at Spurs now, lovely lady. Signed it in there. Literally, she must have ran in, scanned it across

bang, yes, you can go. So she drove me from that service station to one on the A-something or other on the way to Norwich

Martin Purdy, the fitness coach now, he's fuming, by the way, because he's meant to be with the team

He's the only one with the car. He's got to drive, meet me, driving to the hotel Purdy

obviously he's an Ipswich now he's a good guy but he don't want to speak to me

because he's fuming he's had to do the drive I don't know him

so we're like he's driving I'm looking out the window like you alright yep

alright cool and then get to the hotel at 4 o'clock they give me the room key

like yeah you're there here's the bag get your stuff done alright cool

run upstairs food's at quarter to five walk upstairs Dale Bennett I don't know if you've ever played with Dale

No. No, but Dale's like, he was jacked, boy. He's in good nick, set up back

And he's just come out the shower. So you know, like, when the steam's coming off a run

genuinely, and then he's looked at me, and I thought, bro, I have to fight this kid already

Why? I didn't even know his name, but you almost always looking at you, like, oh, like, his face is bent up

I was going to ask you, I was going to ask you about that, but God, I'm finished this thing. I'm thinking, bro, like, what's

I'm like, you're right, mate, I'm Troy, nice to meet you. He's like, I know who you are. I was like, are you all right

He's like, oh, yeah, I was in the squad. But I just got kicked out of the squad because we've signed you

Now, he's had to run. And now they thought it was a good idea to put me and him in the same week

Oh, say no. So now I'm like, oh, OK. I see why he's got a green green. Yeah, yeah, yeah

But what I ended up figuring out is he was two games away from a contract extension

Ah, OK. So obviously for him, totally get it. I think it's fine

Yeah, yeah. And then, yeah, literally, bro, just bang, bang, bang, in, go downstairs, don't know anyone

on the bench against Norwich. Was there any thing that dropped in your doubt in your mind

thinking, boy, man, this is a step up? No, the only step up was, like

the subs had to warm up with the starters, and that blew my head

I'm like, what do you mean? They're going to start, and we're going to go sit down for an hour. So they're doing that

and then I really did try and buy into it and obviously Marvin Swordau

Danny Gray and both started that season off on fire I think they both had like

I think Danny was on 10 by the end of the month I think Danny ended up

scoring 27 goals that year Marvin broke through I think he was on

4 or 5 but a couple of us they were just they just hit the ground

that it worked right so I was like alright so I'm travelling I'm on the bench

I'm travelling I'm on the bench I'm travelling I'm on the bench then end of the month month comes, I get my first paycheck. Don't chat to me about football for a little while

Yeah, good. I wanted to touch on that. So, up until you got your first paycheck, you're

now doing everything properly. You're going in there. I mean I staying in the hotel I staying in the David Lloyd at 12 o I put my stuff on I broke at this point by the way That at Walsall did not last a whole month So I get across there

A second that I put my number in. Tink! £14,800. That's after emergency tax

I was like, oh shit! Let's go. Mum is a bag at it

Right? I am going to get the Gucci trainers I've been looking at. The Ed Hardy t-shirts

You name it, I bought everything. I did. That 14 grand lasted me three days

Three days. Oh, snap. I went to all the boys. You know all the boys have been floating there when you're out

This one's on me. Do you know what I mean? My little man here, every tracksuit you need

His mum, obviously, at the time, whatever. He ran through it so quick

So quick. And then also, we didn't have a house at that point

so all right let's start looking at somewhere to rent oh shit actually you know what we're looking

at renting we could probably buy something and you know how you go through all of that stuff but

i didn't ever want to leave chalmsy where i'm from i didn't want to leave that that was my

that's my safe space so bear in mind i'm at watford i'm driving every day but these times

now i'm out and i'm about and people are talking and like my friends are who my friends are but

now they're noticing me do you get what I'm saying yeah I know because now I can buy

four or five bottles yeah do you get what I'm saying okay and then you know as you know

the line you don't even see the line anymore you start walking around it

and they're just like ah Troy and you're like I've been coming here

for three years you know you never said my name but now all of a sudden now it's

first name last name how's how's things so obviously you start getting caught up in that look

it wouldn't be right to be so now you're at Watford your life's changed yeah

There's no two ways about it. Boy, you can buy whatever it is. Stresses of what we would say deemed as stresses is no longer there

Do you know what I'm saying? So then the prison thing comes

Yeah. Same year. Same year. And you've just had a little man

So talk me through it because I don't even know that story. Yeah, so basically, I'm raised by five people

So in the span of me going to Watford, I lose my great-none

who used to look after me as a kid and all that. she had dementia, so she passed away

but she could only remember my name. So that's how close our thing was

So like, my nan and granddad, my mom, she'd get the names mixed up

but whenever I walked in, oh, that's Troy, that's my baby. She just remembered me as the baby

So anyway, so she passed away. So that kind of rocked me a little bit, but because she had dementia

it was a bit like, I'm glad she's not suffering. Do you get me? And then my granddad passed away

four months after being at Watford. Yeah, four months after being at Watford

So he had cancer, beat cancer, then died of a heart attack the week after

by getting it all clear. And then that just like, that blew my head, yeah

So I was like, it, my granddad's gone now. So all I've got now is my nan, my mum, my dad, that's it

Me and my dad now building our thing back up to, obviously, we never really spoke about that incident ever

again it's just it is what it is you roll with the punches but now he's getting

to the point where he's getting a bit older he's got grandkids you know like

my son's two at the time my brother's just having a kid

and I'm not playing and Daishi came in and I weren't still playing

and he was trying to sell me and I'm still I'm still training

but I'm not going in on Mondays no that I don't need to go in

on a Monday did you make the same decision yeah this was

I had 19 cats that died on Mondays, bro. Yeah, my cat's died

I can't come in. I'm sick, I can't come in. I go in on Tuesday

because I know we've got Wednesday off. I'm in that space at the bar. But the problem is

and the reason I say all that, again, it's not to show off, it's to say that's the headspace

But now I'm drinking as well. So I never had a drink until I was 18

Until I was 19, sorry. So would, and we'll go back, so seeing your pops drink

did that play a part? No, I just never really liked it. Okay

I don't like Singlet. No, I'm talking about... So, you know, you didn't drink. Yeah. So then..

I just didn't like it. You just didn't like it. Oh, okay. I just didn't understand why you needed to have a drink

to forget everything until I had a drink. Until you had a drink

And then I forgot everything. I was like, oh, now A and B make sense

So anyway, and then turn of the year, we sell Marvis All-Dow to Bolton

I don't think it got scored up until this point. It's January. And we're playing Millwall

and it was Joe Garner that was starting and he dropped Marvin

like, in my recollection of it, he dropped Marvin there and he was like

who's going to step up and score the goals? And apparently he was looking out

but I just went, me. And he was kind of like

oh, not we forgot Troy, but he's never really spoke like that

Played me, beat Bill Wall, I score. He's won two nil, me and Joe scored

But I went on a run from then in Jan to the end of the year

I scored 12 goals in 18 games let's say but once I started scoring

I was still out so I'm out bear in mind when I'm out

and this is not an exaggeration you could you could ask the people I was out Tuesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday

you played Saturday? yeah but let me just say that again I'm out Tuesday night

I'm out Thursday night I'm out Friday night I'm out Saturday night

I'm out Sunday night. You know the reason why I'm not so crazy

in them things? Because it was always the day of a game. As long as I got sleep

in the day of a game, I was blessed. No, it's calm because you get home

about two on a Friday. That's why, so that's the reason why I said you play Saturday

So all the ones prior, I was like, yeah, cool man. Get home about two Saturday

sleep till 10, get into the training ground. So you're drinking at this time of year

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I'm drinking heavy, heavy. You're drinking heavy? Yeah, yeah. So I'm drinking, We made a drink called The Incredible Hulk

which was like two double Brad Dears, two double hypnotics. Just go

Touch green. So at this time, you're scoring goals? Yeah. But this is the problem

I'm scoring goals. I'm still living that life. So everyone thinks I'm sick

And I'm scoring. So you can't tell me now doing that is wrong for that

because the equation isn't adding up. I'm still going out. I'm still turning up

I'm not, I'm coming in on Mondays now, but I'm hurting on Mondays

but I'm coming in. I'm getting it through. I remember going into work one day

on a Wednesday. I went out on a Tuesday. Yeah, we did a night out in Leeds

and I got bottled on a night out. I had to go into work the next Wednesday

say to Mapsy, like, just elbow me in it because I still had glass in my head

Do you get what I mean? So the second I pulled that out and it starts bleeding

jump for a header with maps. Ah, then they stitch it up

And then the guys go there glass in there So I don know how that gone in there Do you know what I mean But that was You a calculated individual But I not going to let you know I was out

Well, I'll let you know I was out, but I'm not going to let you know that that happened. So, but anyway, fast forward now

we play, we find out my dad's got cancer. My dad never cried at it

He was like, all right, cool. Drop me to the pub. I'm like, Dad, the man's saying, like, you know

he'll pass away. He's like, no, no, just drop me to the pub. Were you there when he found out you had cancer? He asked me to take him, yeah

So I drove him. And he said, whatever you hear, at least I knew something was wrong

He said, whatever you hear, don't show no weakness. So I don't know, like, now whether that was a macho man thing

or whether that was if you cry, I'll cry. Do you know what I mean? But whichever way it happened, none of us cried

And obviously, because I'd just gone through that with my granddad, I kind of knew the questions and the things to ask

Do you get what I'm saying? So anyway, we do all of that. We wrap it all up, drop him to the pub

And he's like, I'll call you tomorrow. And I was like, it, then I'll go out

Because if he's not stressed about it, I'll go out. And then I go out, get way too drunk

And I want to be very, very clear on this part. Whenever we talk about this situation

is not to glorify me because there was a victim on the end of it and there were several victims

on the end of it. So I want to be very clear. The reason I tell this story is so that people will avoid it

not to... Because I'm really conscious here that there's somebody who that's affected

and they hear me talk about it and do you know what I mean

Like they're dealing with that wound or wounds or... Do you know what I'm saying? And the guy who did it

is now celebrated for that. Do you get what I'm saying? Yeah

I don't get that. That's not what... No, but I just want... You're just putting... That's cool. I just want to make sure that that's always that

Because obviously the person I was then versus the person I am now, that wouldn't have happened

But basically, I just lost my head, bro. I just lost my head

And now it's anger, rage, hurt, abandonment. Do you know what I mean

I'm losing my dad. I've lost my granddad. I've lost my nan. What have I done wrong

What have I done wrong? Yeah. Do you know what I mean? And I come from a place where you don't talk about those things

You just drink, can't you? You drink and you crack on. but I will say this

that moment in life was meant to be because if I didn't do that

by the end of that season I'd have been dead okay from

drink driving the places I was going the fights I was getting into

the people I was rubbing up the wrong way you name it

everything you shouldn't do you was doing I was doing okay so then

you get convicted yeah you get sentenced to how long 10 months

Dad dies the 31st My court date Original court date Was the 2nd of June

So we Asked for permission To push it back Because Obviously I didn't want Anyone

Kids, mum Whoever See me There was a chance I probably wouldn't have made it

To the funeral anyway If I got locked up Because it ended up being

A couple of weeks after So anyway They give us dispensation Pushed it back Bury my dad on the Friday

Go to jail on the Monday Oh shit Yeah So When What happened at football So

At this point That was the hardest part For me In that whole process Genuinely

Hardest part Telling Dashi Is it What'd he say Because He tested me

And he I'd basically fallen out of favour And I'd gone full circle with him

Where he didn't trust me He didn't like Not didn't like me But just No I had potential

But I was wasted It couldn't be bothered and all of that stuff. And it'd gone full circle

to the point where he was like, oh my God. This is my guy. He's here now. I'm going to pour into this guy

You know what I'm saying? And then I remember got nicked. Obviously

they didn't know I was a footballer or whatever. Bash me up. Bash me up anyway, whatever

So then I've got to go into work the next day and tell him, ain't it? Like

that to me was worse than telling my mum and my dad

I remember telling my dad, yeah. But I was like, oh, it's your first conviction. he'll be fine

that's how my dad he's like yeah you've only been in trouble once innit yeah

he'll be fine that was how my dad said it my mum was panicking

and I was like I gotta tell Daishi man knows what he'll do

and then so do you know what because I because I think football's

your hired help I think it's ruthless yeah so but Daishi was brilliant yeah

so I wanna that's that bit where yeah so he called me in

so I went in so that was when went out Tuesday, Wednesday we were off, but I had to phone him and tell him

because obviously they were going to put it out of the press, blah, blah, blah, blah. So he was like, okay, just get in early Thursday

I said, Gaff, I don't know if I can train, because I couldn't put a shoe on or anything like that

Obviously they were whacking you with the cosh or whatever. I said, okay, cool

So coming Thursday, I'd managed to just put a shoe on, but you know when your ankle's like that

So he's like, all right, you're not going to train today. Spoke through, he's like, what can we do

What can we do to help you? I was like I don't know man

he's like promise me till the season ends you'll stay here like you'll just stay

like get got me out of home just stay down here yeah and I was like

I will yeah but I found out my dad's got cancer and he

you could see him just go like yeah like I know I've got to get you out of that place

and who you're with and what you're doing but I know you've got to go back

so he was like We did this deal where it was like I'd stay down Wednesday, Thursday, Friday

but then he would give me Sunday off. Even if we had a game on the truth, he'd give me that Sunday off

And then what I found out after, so I've never actually told this part, is the board were trying to get rid of me

They were trying to terminate my contract. Obviously, he didn't have to pay me the money, whatever

And Daishi basically went to bat for me on this team call

and basically was like, how can we call ourselves a community club

when he needs a community and now we're going to throw him out

Love that, Dashi. Big up. And I was like, oh, Jesus. I've always been giving him

just respect for what he did to me, but I didn't know that. So anyway, perfect storm, right

So I'm on a trajectory of like, I'm going to self-implode, I'm going to destroy

I'm dead at it by the end of the year. I'm not looking after my son. I'm doing the thing that both parents think they do

because I'm buying him stuff. I'm throwing money in the way of absence

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Justifying it to yourself. Yeah, yeah. But long story short, I'm not being who I need to be

So I get locked up on the Monday. Perfect storm and the realisation

that this thing was meant to happen. And I do believe in a higher power

So I think this was meant to happen, right? I get locked up

Watford get bought. so in the midst of Watford being brought over

new ownership wherever they brought in 42 players that summer while you was locked up

while I'm locked up so nobody and you're still under contract with him yeah yeah yeah nobody at any point goes

where's the number 9 so bear in mind fast forward now from June

to September when I come out the end of August you know when you

could finally do the The last change for the numbers. Yeah, yeah

I think Vidra was like, why can't I be number nine? And they were like, I don't know, why can't you be number nine

Who is number nine? And then they've gone, oh, he's in jail

But at this point, they've not done the first letter. It's not going to be a written warning

They've not given me nothing. So it was going to take three weeks for that process

to at least get rid of me. I was coming home in 10 days. Oh, shit

so then God out here works in mysterious ways and then Gianfranco Zola said he was at the game

the year before where we played West Ham at Upton Park and I played really well

we lost 2-0 but I played really well and he said oh no no wait wait let me just speak to him

so I got the message 10 days before I was coming out

bear in mind they're in jail I'm 300 press-ups a day that's what I was going to chat to you about

yeah don't speed over that bro so you're in prison yeah so let's just

so the day you get he didn't know I was in jail he thought I was at football camp

So I had to phone home every day at six o'clock. So my dad's at football camp

Bear in mind he's free, but it's easier to lie to. But dad's at football camp and I'll be home

The only reason he knew I was in jail was someone at school told you, didn't they

But years later. So just paint me that first night. The first night you..

The first two weeks was fine. And the reason it was fine is because I was in Wins degree jail in Birmingham

and all my friends from home were there. So as soon as you go into the jail

you go into a holding cell to figure it all out, spend the night there, it's whatever

I'll be honest, bro, the biggest part about it was you walk in, I think it's a six by 12 or whatever

It's tight anyway. There's a bunk bed, there's a guy on the bunk bed

and all I could see was he was there and the shitter was there

and I was thinking anyhow one of us need to go this is so compromising

do you know what I mean so I was like at first I said to him it was like when do we use the toilet because

we're doing this do you know what I mean when they bring food around

or it's time for a call then you go at those times I said alright cool

spent the night with him and it turned out his baby mum

was in my class at school that's it so it wasn't that whole

mum I'm going to punch you in your face just in case you're straight you know you see it in films

yeah but genuinely to me it was like this is where I'm comfortable

and it's so horrible to say because it's you ain't going nowhere

think about it like think about your dad's dead think about you left your little man at home

you said you're the man you're the provider now like maps he's lending me 10 grand

to cover the bills do you get me and I'll always champion it but he doesn't like me saying it

but I'll champion it because he didn't have to do it he didn't know me he didn't have to do that

Those two weeks. So did you make a decision yourself saying, you know what, I'm telling you nah

Nah, not then. Nah? Not then. So I'm in Winston Green there for the first two weeks

Like I said, I got friends in there. I've been looked after. Life's good. When I came in

obviously you have to do the picture and all that. And they were like, Deeney, Deeney, I know that name

So I used to play football and he's like, nah, Berkey's son, ain't ya

That's my dad, ain't it? I was like, yeah, yeah. they were like you're gonna be in trouble and just threw the finger through the like little

card ring at me like your little so you know who you are threw that at me i think you're

out this is a bit it's a bit mad and then we go into like to the gym and then obviously the

the guards say the same and i've said this story and i saw the twins um would have been my dad's

60th in march so we had little thing for him but that's 47 when he died so um yeah so obviously

we had a little thing that would have been in 60s, and the twins were there, and they said, hell, like

you remembered that story, so basically I'm in the gym, and obviously I'm comfortable now

it's a few days in, I know people, no one's really giving me hassle

I'm like, I'm not showing out by any stretch, but I'm kind of a little bit too happy

to be in jail than you should be, do you know what I mean? And I remember the twins come in

and their face, like, switched, and I was like yo like it's me

and they were like you doing it here and then I was like you know I just got into

this tear up and it was like this and this twins are your Pops' brethren yeah yeah yeah

older guys so yeah Pops' friends yeah Pops' friends that obviously did their

thing with him and that so I said yeah yeah and they were just like the whole time

they were just like looking at me but do you know when they're like

do we just do him now and then I could sense and I was kind of like

oh, so, yeah, and my whole demeanor changed. And I'm like, does your dad know you're here

If your dad knows you, I would have, obviously, go back to their room, make a phone call

If he says, we're going to fill you in. I don't know why you're walking around like that

And I was like, oh, bro, dad's dead. They were like, what

So yeah, dad died last Friday. Oh, shit. their whole thing dropped they obviously start crying they're like look whatever mistake you've

made you're good in here but your dad will be turning his grave that you're in here

you know how many times he was in this place saying my son's this and my son's that

and and now you're in here with us like we had a choice we didn't have a choice i think that's

wrong personally i think everyone has a choice but we didn't have a choice this was our way out

and we did this and blah blah blah we knew what we were getting into you got out and you wanted to be a bad man

he's like if you were with your dad I'd fill you in right now show you what a bad man is

that's when it's like it's a that okay pinnacle moment yeah it was

but like it didn't it didn't make me go it didn't make me go oh football

it made me go like yeah you're right like this bad man thing

is stupid and then I get shipped up so they knock you on the door boom

you're moving jail what? my dad didn't talk to us about jail

we didn't know jail was a thing when my dad went we got letters

from Singapore but we didn't know he was away working do you get what I'm saying

so those way he got these postcards but he was creative and Singapore and I'll be home soon

and when I'm back you'll get this and obviously when dad used to come home

we'd get like 100 quid each and he'd take us Mackies and we'd have a new tracksuit

so every time dad went away it was a good thing to us

yeah yeah yeah do you get what I'm saying so anyway they knocked the door yo you moving

you moving jail I'm like where they're like just get your stuff you pack your little bag

you go into this room you know the bus the van you see on the motorway the white vans

and they got the little black windows you can't see bro I'm in this thing

I woke up two and a bit hours later I'm in Warrington

I don't know anyone from I don't even know where Warrington is I'm up there

I'm in a jail and it's it's like butlins I'm like you can come and go

as you please out the jail no like walk around the jail you've got a key

you've got like and everyone in but everyone in there is coming home from long stretches do you get what I mean and I like literally the guy was like if you going to run away just put your key down it costs us too much to do I like run where bro I don even know where I am

And in there they made me, because obviously I'm trying to get my tag at this point

they said I need to do alcohol awareness course, drug awareness course

even though I've never taken drugs, but the people that I was around

the marijuana was in my system, so I had to do that. And then I had to do counseling

I had to do one session of therapy. It would like tick these boxes that would get me through

And that was the moment then. No, sorry, that was a caveat into the moment

Into the moment. And then the guy, and I always give credit, Mr. Appleton, the jail

we just call them screws, but jail officer, whatever he is. He

he said to me, right, they had Calvin Atuhu in the same jail

a couple of years before from Man City. Yeah, yeah. He's like, you

you're not going to do what he did. You're going to work in the gym

10 hours a day and every time you clean the gym down

and we have, it's like, it's like an hour break. So they'll clean the gym down

hour break, next lot come in, so it's like, in that hour break

We're going to work you. So every day then I did, I ran for an hour

cleaned the gym down. They gave me like a protein shake. Second hour, I do upper body

Third hour, I do legs. Every day for 10 weeks. Okay. And then it was, and also it's the Olympics

It's 2012 Olympics. So they then put like Olympic stuff on outside

I don't know if you've ever had to chase criminals yet. that'll make you a lot quicker because I was humbled

so quick when I'm thinking I'm a pro athlete these are kind of key

these are like used to running from people dogs you name it

so he made me do the 100 metres 200 metres 400 metres 800 metres

and the relay on the same day so question are you still getting paid

by your are you still thinking about football no so for this

at this point now this is just day to day life you're doing this to get out

I just said and I'm actually glad he's here because I don't think he's ever heard this

but I just said, when I get home, he'll never be this unproud of me again

I feel you. I feel you. Do you know what I mean? I hear it. This guy's actually getting me upset

I don't do emotion, but that's my guy. The maddest thing is, do emotion

because this is what it is, but I've talked about this, and I was going to talk about the therapy thing, because for me

look, we're fathers now, do you know what I'm saying? And it just hits different

and having your boy here, and I'm hearing you talk, and I was going to touch on this part

later but you segwayed into it so how different are you all the same

from how your pops was to you in regards to exploring emotions

that you are to yourself I'm not very good personally nah but

you're emotional we've been through stuff together but you're emotional I am emotional in terms of my actions

Do you get what I mean? But in terms of like, in terms of like

I can't see people cry and get emotional. Nah. Nah, I can't really cry myself

Right now, yeah. If it's like in an alternate universe, I'll be bawling to you, bro

I'm admitting all my flaws in front of myself. Do you know how much of an idiot that makes me feel right now

But I'm just saying in an alternate universe, but the fact of the matter is

this is who your dad is. This is what I did. But you know, you were there, you lived it

Do you know what I mean? you see I've come through the other side. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

That's for me. It's the definite, for me, it's in, I'm in awe

Nah, don't do that. Don't do that. Listen, the maddest thing is because

but you know my story. You sat down, you know my story and we've gone through trials and tribulations

And it's not that I'm downplaying my trials and tribulations. But again, I'm hearing what your trials and tribulations

and it just, like I said, it's that thing where I'm like, me, bud, I get it

Like, it's the craziest thing. I sit here and I'm like, but I get it

So it's the definition of strength. You still can't take me. So I'm not blind

You can't, but it's the definition of strength. I don't know when to stop, man

I ain't going to stop. And the reason I say we're going to stop is we've seen, how many times have me and you bumped into each other

An alternate definition. And you're like, bro, I see you here. I see you there

I'm like, because do you know what? if I stopped, and this is me thinking

and talking out loud, if I stopped and really thought about it, yeah, I probably would be depressed

I probably would be. I'd start to let all of those issues and things

and the letdown and you'd have to unpack them and develop. But the fact of the matter is

shit happens, isn't it, in life. Yeah, I hear you. And the one thing I'm only ever proud of

only ever proud of, all this football shit don't mean nothing to me. The only thing I'm proud of

There's one there and there's three more at home. I mean, unconditionally proud of it

No, I get that. But see, you as an individual, and I know you

because this is the way you are, and you're saying that, look, if I unpacked it, I'd turn around and be like

shit, I went through so much, but yet still I saw the light. You said in regards to that faith, and my faith is everything to me

And I always say that. I believe in higher power. Obviously, I grew up Christian

My dad was Muslim. so I understand both faiths and understand how it all works

all that but if I sat here and said to you I went to church every week I'd be lying

if I sat here and said I read the bible every week I'd be lying but do I believe

think about the things we've spoken about yeah how can I not believe

that someone has got a better destiny for me than I already know what's happening

you was meant to be here you was meant to inspire those

so God picks these soldiers bruh everything happened how it was supposed to happen

And we know that. Do you know what I'm saying? So, look, that was a..

The one little thing I will say, this is kind of like a men's mental health thing

Me and a friend of mine, I won't say his name, but me and a friend of mine, not in football

it's a normal bloke gone through-ish, yeah. He said, his words, not mine

God gives his hardest troubles to his greatest soldiers. Yeah. And I was like, oh

do you think though and he's like yeah because the difference between us

as soldiers slash warriors and again you're probably going to think oh choice calls up

but whatever and normal civilians who have done the right thing gone to school

gone to uni da da da da is that when something happens

they don't know how to bend and bounce he said but a soldier

bends and bouts you have to know something comes you have to bend

to duck it or you have to bounce because he just slammed you off the floor and it's like

you're going to stay down there or you're going to get the back up. The emotion you're shying is for me

Let's talk football man. It's not too deep. Let's talk football. So June

came out in September. Yeah. Preseason so season's a month in. Zola hollers at you

and says alright boom. I told you that story don I Nope So first day in I off tag yeah So first day home obviously you have to stay in they do the tag they do this you know they give you time your visitation where to say

So, the second day, bear in mind I had a trim for four months, yeah? This is when the hair could grow, grow

So, I had an afro, and I was wham, I'm not going to lie

It kind of felt like you did, you know, when your tops don't really fit, but you're still forcing the months. It's hard when you hedge

Yeah, it's one of them ones. So, anyway, I was wham anyway

Go in. And I'm on tag. I was meant to get a haircut

but I was like, just drop me. Because I still didn't really know if I was meant to be in it

But I'm me in it. I'm going to just... Just go in and see how it happens

So anyway, I go in. They'd just finished training. I see the gaffer

I was like, hey, coach. Nice to meet you. Legend. And he's like, oh, come on

He's like, listen, I'm going to come into work tomorrow. Watch the stipulations

And these times I was seven till seven. So I was like, look, I live in Birmingham, 7 o'clock

but I can leave the house at 7 o'clock. So I'll be in the car at 7 o'clock

It takes me an hour and 34 minutes to get here. I'll be in this trading ground at 8.34

and then I will leave here. The latest I can leave is 5 o'clock

because I can't not be home in it. But I promise you I'll be in from 8.34 till 5 every single day

And he was like, okay. He said, just want to let you know, like, again, if you're a good player

but we've got eight strikers at this moment in time. so you're going to be nine

And we had like Chrissie Wollumou, Joe Gardner, Vidro. We had good players

Good players, good players. And, bro, on my life, I don't know where this arrogance came from

I just giggled. I don't know. Because obviously his English isn't great

He's like, did I say something wrong? I said, no, no, no. He says, you thought I was number nine

That was funny. I said, give me a week. And he said, okay

yeah, yeah, no problem. Let's, we go. Go home next day. I'm in eight foot, 35, 8.34

I trained before training. Did the training session. Ran. Did the gym session

Ate, come home. Every day. For 10 days straight. I remember Fitz Hall

I don't know if you know Fitz, but if you ever get in mind, I'll tell you. I've come across this, yeah

So, I go out to run. Bear in mind, I am, I'm running with the tag at it

So, I've got the tag on. I've got no top one. I just look like something at the longest yard

Yeah, yeah. Do you know what I mean? That's a bad boy image. I just look like I should not be around

Do you know what I mean? So anyway. Have you had a trim by this time? No, no, no. Still big afro out

So just before you go on, because I've been in a changing room. Yeah

You know what I'm saying? And been generally because of my size

I'm always walking. I don't have to say nothing. My energy speaks before me

Do you know what I'm saying? How did the changing room take to you

Not how you took to the changing room, because now. Genuinely, couldn't tell you

I didn't see them. Nah. I didn't see them. They were in the way. Ah

So, let me ask you a question. And you can answer it now as you're at the game

So, would you say you was a liked person in the changing room

player to player? I hope not. So, your whole thing was going in there that..

I hope you didn't like me. So, your teammates, that was your ream

No. Don't get me wrong. I don't want anyone to be fearful of me

OK, yeah. But if you liked me, that means that our place of work

wasn't a place of work. and like I said you will respect me or I'll make you respect me

so that's how you was but how can how can how can I go into work

this is the bit again I look at things completely different right we're in a striker room

I think we spoke about this before there's me I'm starting you're on the

let's get it away you're starting I'm on the bench we've got the third striker we've got the fourth striker

how can we all pretend that we're friends when you've got the job

we all want see but you know how we've discussed this so I'll get back

there was no striker that qualms me. Yeah. It was the manager

For me, I would always, my mindset was, once I play, I'm playing

So in the end, I ain't got to dislike you because I'm better than you or will be. So that's how I was

Again, I don't dislike you. No, no, no, no. You know what I mean

Sorry. I wanted to be really clear. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not, we can be respectful

we can have laughs and jokes, but let's not around there

Let's call it as it is, let's call it as it is. Okay. If you're not competing

against me, you don't deserve to be in this room. That's how I used to look at it

So, let me just go back to when I, I could be that number nine

right? Yeah. So, when I go in, this is to paint the perfect picture

There was four changing rooms because there was 42 players at Watford at this point

That's a lot. I tell you that, yeah. So, there's four changing rooms full of people, right? Obviously

I'm in before everybody. So, I used to get changed in the car, take my clothes home

where I just changed myself. So long story short, I go out to do a run with Jack

the fitness guy. And he's like, we're going to just see where you are

get a base layer. I was like, that, let's push it. And he's like

what do you mean? I was like, I'm fit, man. I've been running. We're going to push it to the limit

So I don't need you to get me fit. I need you to get me football fit

And you know there's a big difference between fit and football fit. So anyway

I go out to run. It's a warm day. So I start running

there's an 11v11 on this pitch the manager has an 11 doing shape for the weekend

and then there were seven players injured and then there was like

three or four dotted around you know like just coming back from injury around today so I remember anyway

I'm running and running and we're pushing it now and I remember Fitzy was like bro

my man thinks he's out a mean machine my video had never spoken before

I was like I started laughing and then we get chatting and understanding it but I had Fitzy

We had Naira Nosworthy. Maps had left at that summer. Lloyd Doily was there

Chris Uralumu. Cole Dickinson. Eusty was still there. It was a good..

Just trying to pick... Marco Cassetti. Good, good lads. I think we signed Al Muno as well

Yeah, we did sign Al Muno that year. So Manu was in there as well. So, like, good, solid pros

I don't think they were scared of me. by any stretch. Fitzy and Nugsy weren't

because obviously they're the lads, they understand, but the other guys were a little bit like

this ain't normal. Yeah, yeah. Do you know what I mean? To be fair, even me, it wouldn't be normal to me

I'd be like, oh, rah. So to answer your question, what was I liked

I think if you really know me, and I think you really know me to a point

I'm actually happy-go-lucky 90% of the time. But when it's time to work

let's work, man. That's what I get. And in the change room, I'm up for like

I'm all for banter I'm all for jokes I'm all for whatever it might be

but when it's time to work so if we've got a meeting at 10

and you're walking in at 55 like what the you've been doing

that's so important that you should be there at 10 too like me if you spoke about this you would piss me off

yeah but we listen because he comes in a minute too I'm like

yeah but I've been in rooms and the lads will tell you this I've shut the door

and the manager's like oh no we'll wait I said no you said the meeting starts at 10

it's 10 start so let me ask you a question but we got we got four players was managers scared of you do you think managers were intimidated by you I think first of all they don know me So you get a preconception on me similar to yourself

So you don't know me, you go, he's been at the club a long time, been to jail

he's outspoken anyway, gonna have to manage him. Yeah. And the only person that like took me on, I suppose

and challenged me was Nigel Pearson. Ah, okay. That was it. and when you

but again if you know me there isn't a challenge you're the boss

there's a hierarchy so you tell me how you want this to be and that's how it's going to be

but it's not you tell me how I've got to be you tell me how

everyone's got to be because if I see you say to me you've got to be an untied

you've got to do this you've got to do that or you don't play but now Baio can come in

when he wants train whatever day he was oh no no no no now we've got a problem

because you said these were the rules and stipulations to play for your football team

why is he any different? The worst thing is I hear it

for me I think you're you are on your path and we've had this

back and forth so and I respect it I think if we were generals we general separately

we differently but like again so obviously so anyway that first year

obviously we go out to that Leicester goal and so on and so forth but listen

I don't you I know you spoke about this a plethora of time

and think everybody's heard it no because the world's massive so reign it in

so you sign and you're in the champ so you come out of pen

I'll come out of jail I'll come out of jail we're in the championship alright so now sorry

I didn't even finish that so anyway 10 days I said to him so I remember

at the end of that week there was a game against QPR at their training ground

and they had like they had quite a big squad I think it was in the prep

at the time so they had like Sean Wright Phillips and he was coming back

from injury and we played and I scored and very this is when I

because I made that decision that I'm not going to let the little man down ever again and then I made the decision

once I'd come out now that Zola's kind of said I'm knifed so it's like now I'm making the decision

that I'm going to be I'm starting at it like you're going to understand that Troy's

back in business so anyway we played a game a couple days after that

because they kind of said no like he's fit like he just needs reps and all of that

so I played this game we get to QPR scored I remember speaking to Mark Hughes

and he was like just get your head together, son, blah, blah, blah. I was like, okay, cool. That Saturday, I'm on the bench against Bristol City

Seven days after being released on tag. Oh, say nothing. Come off the bench, only like 10 minutes

But that was the story of the game. It wasn't anything other than like

how was the fan reception got to be to me? How was it? I remember them telling me

because I had a thing, a vest on underneath, in the jail

And everyone was like, don't do that. I would have said the same thing, big man. But you lot don't understand, yeah, because for the 14 weeks I was in jail for, right

I was phoned home, but I'm still trying to be the man, innit? I can't let them know, you know, I'm struggling, innit

I can't do it. And then I've lost my dad. So what I've found in that space, and I'm still friends with a couple of people from there to this day

those guys got me through it. No, no, sorry, I'm not taking anything away

No, no, no, but in my head, that was how it was. That's what you were trying to do. How were they going to do it

I'm going to write them a letter. No, it's like, they're going to see this in my head

I'm going to score. They're going to see this in the paper. And now that's going to give them a motivational reason

to fix up and get out. That was the intention. That's what you had in your body

Thankfully, I came on for like six, seven minutes. Didn't score. Didn't get sent off

It was nothing. I was like, cool. Now I'm off to the races, isn't it

The following week, 14 days after, play Huddersfield I'm starting scored a winner

can't chat to me now was there any doubt even though you'd

made your decision when you came on that there was an element of

not nerves because we always get nervous of fear of playing coming back through

all what you've got all what you've gone through now you're coming back on the pitch

and it's in front of everybody now this is going to be fun it was more fun see

That mindset never changed. So your mindset, football's always been fun for you

This is never not going to be fun. Now, do you get the emotional rollercoaster of things happening

contracts, relegation, all of that? Of course, yeah. But at the core, I am going to enjoy myself

And the hardest thing I have to do is work hard. All right. Do you get me

I get it. So then that season, man. That season's running on now

And I remember that game at Huddersfield. We had a kid called Tommy Holborn who had to retire

very early. I think it was ankles or something. He was an unbelievable player

And if he would have stayed fit, I have no doubt he would have played in the Prem. Very, very good

And I remember he had his first start and I was having my first start of the season

but it was his first career start. And this goes back to the leadership part

I think in that moment, I was like, right, I'm going to play. I'm going to show everyone I'm going to score

But he was having like a panic attack. He had asthmatic as well. So he must have had about 20 pumps at this asthma pump

And instantly, my true nature come back. Like, yo, don't worry. I've got you

Just stay here. First pass, kick it long. I'll chase it. Don't try to play short

First header, do that. He had about 20 pumps. Then he had about 50 pumps at halftime

Anyway, he gets through his first game. We win. But then, instantly from that moment then

because I'd scored and we'd won, In my head, it's done now

Do you know what I mean? It's done now. We ain't got to talk about I'm playing on tag. You know I'm playing on tag

You've said it two weeks ago. Ain't got to talk about prison now because I'm back and I'm scoring

All we got to worry about now is how do we go? How do we get up

How do we get promoted? How does this look? How does this feel? Oh, shit, I'm out

That first game, sorry, just to cut you. So that first game there was

I've got to put everything into this to make this go right and then the rest, it can just follow suit

Yeah. Yeah. but he weren't thinking long term it was like I'll just shut you

like up and now I can do what I do then I can do me it was a fun time man

so that when I called back so that was three years I'm in every time

at seven o'clock I'm in at seven o'clock how long was your tag for? another three months okay

but I'm putting him to bed do you know what I mean I'm waking up now

I'm doing the simple things they're fine I'm in bed by nine o'clock yeah

I get it and at 22 if you'd have told me that at 21

no chance. I'd just be getting ready to go out. Do you know what I mean? The days off we had

I'd still go into work or if I had to stay home, I'd take him to school

I'd run back from school, I'd go to the gym, I'd go swimming

I'd get back, I'd eat, I'd go and pick him up from school, I'd walk the dog

So now you're three years in a champ, is that correct? Yeah, that's my third year

Sorry, yes. So that's the third year. So then of course, so we're going to have to talk

that iconic, iconic it's iconic Dini it's lovely it's like we just literally

I just saw the kids at the trampoline park this morning and he's at the point now

he's like oh but it's like what 10 15 kids, like, ah, Didi, his hug, Didi, can I get a picture of this

Like, you have to be, you have to be at a point where you're humble enough and gracious enough that that moment lives on, right

Yeah, yeah. It's an iconic moment. But it is also a case of, like, this is me, right? This is me. Now I appreciate it more

But at that time and for, like, 10 years after, all I think about is that we lost the game after

I get you. No, I hear it, because that's you. But only now, like, my son's five

He started watching it. I think it's doing the rounds on TikTok. And do you get what I mean

You've got kids remaking the goal. And, you know, like, it's a nice thing, isn't it? Yeah

But if you asked me at the time or for, like, the 10 years after

I was like, we lost in the final, bro. For us, we only get that moment

So we live in that moment of you score a penny down

Dini top off. That's the moment. You know what I'm saying? The bit then

The two games before, sorry to cut you, encapsulate me as a person

Talk to us. So we played Leeds and if we beat Leeds, we got promoted. I got sent off in that game

So when we should be, when you need me the most, I'm probably going to it up

Okay, boom. So now, because I find you do that, you enlighten the negative bits of you

So, and you think at your core, this is how it comes across. At your core is

you're going to up. That's how you talk. That's fair. Maybe that's a bit brutal in regards

but the reason why I'm trying to get across is that, you know, we learn way more

from our setbacks. Of course. If you let me do the three games

I think you'll understand what I was saying. So the first one, Leeds, we probably should have beat Leeds

And I'd already scored. I'd already got 19 at that point. Leicester goal was the 20th

So I'm in a position where it's like, I'm confident, I'm feeling good

Do you know what I'm saying? I'm going into games and I'm not thinking if I can score. It's like how many I'm going to score

So anyway, I kind of had my Paul Gass going moment. I was like really emotional, like chasing everything down

Two crappy yellows, Michael Brown. I do love Brown. He's a good lad, but he got me sent off because he knew just to tweak it a little bit

Experienced. I got sent off in the first half. Okay. So, obviously, we lose that game

And I'm sat in the corner. And lads are coming in. And, you know, they're letting you know

You cost us. And you've got to hold it. Again, younger me with a fire back

At this point, I'm like, okay. I remember, you see, when I knew Nathaniel Chalabar was going to be great

Because at 17, I believe he was, he came in the dressing room and was like

can't believe you let us down. If we had you, we'd win. and I'm thinking

you're 17 who the are you talking to but I'm also smiling

going yeah you're right you're right it's powerful moments sometimes and then the next game

we played Leicester in the playoffs at Leicester I should have been with my team

I should have been in the dressing room I should have been doing all of that stuff I did Sky Sports okay

I was chasing the money I feel I got like a grand for doing it I'm like we've got to be there anyway

or else we'll get paid to do that was the amount I sit on the fence with that no no

I'm so wrong because I should have been with my team No, I'm sorry, I'm just sitting on the fence in regards, I get what you're saying because it didn't work out

So hindsight, you'll turn around, but I also sit on the fence in regards to Sky Sports is also an individual opportunity for you

Of course, if it went the right way, you'd have been like, yeah, yeah, I'm there and I'm bigging up the club and it's because of my name

And so there's... But at this point, bear in mind that the start of that year, again, you're in jail

so you shouldn't be doing more to raise attention to you is how I'm looking at it

So anyway... Pause! But also, you are showing where you started the year

to where you are and what you can do to change that. And there's so many man then

that will be resonating that will be like, wait, hold on, I swear this brother was in pen at the beginning of the year

So the best part about it, right? So the man's talking, I forget the guy who was on it, it was an excellent Leicester legend

forget who it was who was on there. And they were 1-0 up. and Vidra had gone through this mad spell

like he got like I want to say he got 20 goals by January

and he didn't score until the second leg he gets to and no one even talks about that

because the goals they were crazy but he went on this mad spell and he missed a few chances

but I felt watching the game like when I'm in they can't stop me

but that's genuinely how I felt they can't stop me and right at the end of it

they were like I forget I think it might be Walsh the centre back

said to him right like part you know Sky Ends like right

so Bale how do you think it's going to go and he was like Leicester won the lot

there's no way they're going to let this slip I fancy Leicester

to get through Troy what do you think said you'll see our score

and I just said it like that weren't arrogant I said you'll see our score

and then go to the game I'm driving in I'm speaking to my brother

because that's who I jump into the crowd so that's my little brother that's catching me and I said

I'm going to score the winner and I literally I remember they said about Wes Morgan

nothing but respect for Wes Michael Keane obviously still playing the Prem now

and I was just like there is no way they can live with

what I'm about to bring today there's no way I'm ready I'm focused

and I'm angry and if you watch that game I've had a good game

and then obviously the moment everyone talks about is obviously the knockouts died again

Michael Oliver I said to him I made him anyway should be thankful me and Mike

have that kind of laugh about it but obviously he gives that shit pen

which wasn't a pen but it's the whole you know he does when he's holding it down

and then obviously we go to school so I think I made him

and he thinks he made me so it was it was a great moment man

and like at that time we didn't really appreciate it but now you're older

and you see the YouTube footage and you see like there's one

that's a crowd one that someone's in the crowd but it's at the end we score

and it's like a wave of emotion and it's like bang. Sick

Love it, sick. Next year I scored 25 and we finished 15

14. Then on the third season you got promoted. Yeah, but that summer

three seasons in a row you got 20, 20 plus. Say nothing, just let me salute that to you

Thank you. I signed a contract that year at Leicester because I was out of contract

in the summer as well so I went from I've told you, I went on five grand a week

to like 24. And I remember we was looking for a property

at the time and I was still looking on Chalmsey to buy a property. And then I got that contract and I was like

all right, let's go. And I moved out to Solihull. I bought like a million plus per house

which obviously everyone does now. But 2012, that was kind of a big deal for me

But it's still a big deal now because I'm here with a lot. And then I remember in that summer

Villa wanted me, Newcastle wanted me, Celtic wanted me, Verda Bremen wanted me

I was like, I was kind of hot properly. I'm 24, everyone's not forgot about JL

but that's not even been spoken about. And I scored 25 goals in no 45 goals in two seasons So people were like it was all that And I remember having a chat with Watford And then Watford did the cardinal sin for me

My birthday is June 29th. So I normally have a very good birthday

Let's just put it that way. And then I come back to work on the 1st of July. So it's all out of my system

It's always out. It's out of my system. I'm a lot heavier than I should be. But it is what it is

But you know, for the first 10 days, leave me alone. I'm going to have my fat suit on

I'm going to do my stuff. I'm going out early in the running test. Don't worry about that

But come first, game of the season, I'm ready. So, they, because we finished so badly

and they were adamant that they wanted to get promoted, they took us back to work

the 14th of June. Oh, that's early. We went Austria for a week

straight from Austria to Udine. No, Udine for a week, sorry, straight to Austria for two weeks

Yeah. I already know that them three weeks were hell. That was stress

Yeah. And then this was the best part. I don't want to talk about this, but it's perfect for you

So they were like, because I used to play, I used to play at like 94, 95 kilo

But I'd go back around 112, 113-ish. It's a very good summer

It's a great summer. It ain't no good summer. But what we had come to understand was

I'm going to kill myself for 10 months be disciplined do it

I was still going out having a good time but more from the nutrition from a weight point of view

and because we had Italian owners it was very weight specific okay they

put a nutritionist in and first day you step on the scales I'm 113 140

and he's like you know footballers most footballers are 70 to 89

you're 113 man I used to surpass that weight because they just

stopped now but I know what footballers were Yeah, 75 to... The highest would be 89, maybe 90 max

I don't even know if we even had many 90s. So obviously the guys seeing these numbers

and they all had to report to the owner, so they've gone to me, right, going to diet

I was like, yeah, cool, that's what I do. That's what I do, yeah. No problem. So they were like, we're going to diet

So the first three or four days now, they're bringing the food, bringing the food, bringing the food

And obviously the weight's coming off as it is and we're training and we're at it. what someone must have thought

it was a good idea to like think that I'm vegan or a rabbit or something

These portions that were coming out like this. Because I already know

So like by day five, yeah, now I'm getting, you get tired anyway

Yeah. Now I'm getting aggy. Hungry. Yeah. And then, and then we moved

from Austria to Italy and I'd got from 111, well like 113

I was about 1.9 in a week. I'd done loads. Done proper, yeah

So I'm like, all right, cool. Because that's mainly water weight. that's fine so obviously I've spoke to them now

like obviously that was week one we've still got eight weeks of pre-season

so I'm like we'll taper now and then it will level up

and then it will drop again because that's how I drop wait I don't know if you're the same so I do like

two weeks of big then I level off for two weeks and I drop big again for the last two

and then throughout the course of the season wherever I am that first week of the season

I'm probably going to be somewhere that at the end of the season

so anyway I had to chat with them yeah yeah cool we're going to get

Eric who's one of the interns Eric's going to bring you food for you

it'll be fine yeah cool bro the portion size went from let's say if it was

half a plate to a quarter of a plate no and then the worst part

of that is they were bringing my food yeah but I'm waiting now

so everybody else as you know it's buffet service they're eating the breads

they got the olive oil they got this and I'm sitting there where's my food where's my food

where's my food yeah this went on for six more days yeah so we're getting to the last week

bear in mind I know because we've been running and that now

I'm doing extra session I'm out on the mountain bikes there's a spa 15 minutes down the road

on a bike because I've drove past it every single day so I said to the fella with the greatest respect

if my food is not here when I get here first if you've got me cutting

bear in mind now I'm down to like 102 in two weeks

I've done nearly 10 kilos so I'm like if my food is not first here

someone's getting it yeah bear in mind they've told this Eric now

they're cutting me one more time food wise so he's brought the food

over to me you know we see the doors over there I've clocked him

and he's walking but no joke he's like this he's holding the thing shaking

I'm like I went that's not I went if that's my food on there

and that's all of it turn the around the boys must have been bantering you at this point

yeah now they're all laughing they must be laughing but at the same time

I'm still me ain't it so they're laughing but they're laughing from over there

they don't want to be near me so he's come over with this food

and I've still got the mental picture I had a bowl of salad

like leaves everywhere I had a quarter piece of chicken I had four pieces

of pasta no you know the fusilier thing you're lying to me cause

you're lying when have I ever lied to you butter four pieces of pasta and I looked at it

I looked at him I looked back at the food and as I looked up

he was running on my life on my life he ran back out the door

and I went am I a prick yeah and they were like what

I went oh you think I just flipped the table with the food everyone else's food went

I went went to the thing got my credit card got on the bike

drove to the spa bought every packet of sweets every biscuit every

you named it I've been about 400 quid in this shop came back on the bike

you know when it's on the handlebars and you're like this I was rocking everything

I come back in and imagine no no Troy Troy Troy you

because I'll batter you as well and I just bust open a packet of Harry Bowls

and I just went ah I look like the honey monster brother I'm not even

going to be mad at you after about two days after about two hours

two days is too low two hours of eating all this shit I swear I had this

mad like sugar rush headaches all of that and then I was like whoa

this is right and then we had to have like a full arm meeting but what that wasn't even the worst yeah

because we'd been there everyone was getting cabin fever so one one night

I think it may have been around the same time the goalkeeping coach

was arguing with another coach and then we're just sat there you know the boys watching

like bro they're really arguing but they're in Italian but like Italian so

they're really arguing bro I reckon they might fight you know who you got

and we're just messing about like I'd take 100 on him and him let's see the gaffer comes running out

then the gaffer starts fighting the the goalkeeper coach I'm like who's the manager

at this time? Beppe Sennino another small Italian very aggressive and everyone was like

because we were so pissed off yeah we were like hope the goalkeeper

coach does it and everyone just we just stopped it we just sat there and watched no one stopped it

they were fighting for about four minutes until the hotel reception come out mad

but it was like three weeks there it was mental we can't not talk about

it not talk about you now getting to the prep alright cool yeah yeah so we've gone from

we started here so you started off at non-league and now every kid's dream

once you play is to play as high as you can you now get promoted to the Prem and not only do you get promoted to the Prem they now made you a captain They made you captain Yeah they made me captain that year They tried to starve me So the year we get promoted

So I... But I didn't get made captain because, like, you know how it's like you're the best or you're the worst

That's what I was going to ask. Basically, what happened in that was we had Manuel Al Muna and he was going to sign a new deal

But he had a heart problem. So they didn't... He didn't pass his medical

But he's like, you know what? he's been playing for time and then they've noticed it. So he went off

and then no one was the captain. And then first game of the season

Bolton at home, I just walked in and I'm the captain. Like no one sat me down

and was like, we want you to do this, whatever. And then literally, if I'm being totally honest

I was bluffing the first year of being a captain. Now I know I can't do everything right

but I'm going to be the first one out to training. I'm going to be jumping. And that's where all those

kind of methods came in. And then as we get promoted so obviously we win we get promoted blah blah blah we get to the prem and i must i must say

this because you you do give me credit for obviously making it to the prem because obviously

you didn't do that if you don't want that to come across negative but you give me the credit yeah that's why that's why i'm conscious that how it comes across yeah it's cool because i'm gonna

yeah so um so we get to the prem and i remember we was again in austria because we used to do 10

days there that was the standards that was cool we we knew what it was but we we'd upped it we

went to klitschko's training camp thing this time so it was like spa sauna all of these things

effort at klitschko and that would do to cut weight so i remember we had uh kiko sanchez flores came in

and i was like oh yeah okay another manager like see how this is gonna go and he i remember him

saying to me because again I come back big and he was like is that you okay yeah it's um I just

want to get to know you do you mind after every training session me and you just have a run for

half an hour I was like yeah sure I didn't realize obviously he's trying to get me to do the extra

steps and shred and whatever but basically them runs that were meant to be half an hour went on

for an hour because he was saying to me like look you've got to be fair you've got to be stronger

you're going into the Prem now not only do I think you can be in the Prem but you can succeed

and you can get to England and he started just planting all of these different ideas

that to me had never even been like achievable but he's like

but we're going to up the standard here and we end up outside Etienne Capoue

Valon Barami like lads who have been watching the Prem we already had Ben Watson

at this point won the FA Cup you know like you start looking around now

and you're going I'm the odd one out like I'm I ain't come from a Man United

or a top no not do you know what I mean I'm not an international but now I'm the captain

of these lot I'm going to go to Caps you're the French guys

first off we're going to try and get him on side and me and Caps had a really weird relationship

like we I think we respected each other but personality types we weren't the same

do you get what I mean yeah yeah but it but it worked and

so I said yo you speak with the French guys and then I said Valon

you speak with the Italian guys because Valon is one of the smartest people

I've ever played with. As a pro, bro, you know when you played with injuries

This guy, man, he probably should have been, if he was a car, he'd have been written off

five years before, bro. But he was back and grafting and he, yeah

he was very good for me. Very, very good. And then we had, we had a few other lads

So it was like, you delegate these lot and then, you know, any problems

It's basically like, you handle it. But if you, you know what it's like, I pay that fine

Yeah, yeah. I'll get Troy. I'll pay that fine. Yeah, yeah. Do you know what I mean? because I'm not asking you

I'm going to go to the club. Just take out his wages, isn't it? Again

that's how it is. Yeah. Do you know what's the funny thing is, which

and this is why I say I've got to give you credit and I've given you credit that you were doing things

which managers were doing. So you already had, like, I'm 100% going to go back

into management. Yeah, 100%. So you've got that. You've had that as a player

as in, so what you then did is people relate to what they relate to

So people from London will relate to London. People from up north will relate to up north. You then saw French

younger, older. But the problem I have is, or had then, should I say

was emotion. Like, all I cared about, again, this goes back to your earlier question

it tenfolded down in the Prem. So, I don't care if you like me

Okay. This is as a player. Do not give a shit. If you go home

every day and go, hell, Troy's a nose, Troy's done this, Troy's done that

I guarantee you, I push you to a limit that you did not know you could push yourself. Okay

I guarantee you. And this goes all the way back to what your pups was pushing you to

Yeah, absolutely. And I remember very deliberately, we were on a training camp

This is a couple of years after. And there was me, the striking group at this point

Bear in mind, I'm me at this point. I know I'm good. Yeah. But I'm still

I don't want to just survive in the Premier League. I want to go play in Europe. You know, again

the aspirations change. so there's me Andre Gray there is Stefan Okaka

Stefan Okaka and there is Isaac Success but at this time we was only playing

one up front and we had you know the long run ones so it's like seven minutes of running

and then you get two minutes rest and you go again so basically

the strikers went together and we're getting this all done so I remember like

Dre was very very fit and I said to me and Okaka

were very similar and build or whatever. And Isaac. And basically, like without no one saying

they knew me and Dre were good. It was out of those two. And I just said to Isaac

he was younger, probably more talented, don't quit. If we run for seven minutes

you run for the seven minutes. Don't six minutes and drop off

And then Okaka was like, I've got to beat him because he wanted to stay. And I was like, look

he'll quit. Do the run. first one of seven minutes, Isaac after six minutes

hamstrings, hamstrings. I said to him, don't bother coming back. He thought, don't bother coming back

Oh, why, why, what? No, no, you're talented. And by the way

this kid, if he wanted it, and I mean, if I could put half of your brain in him

he would be talking world-class. Okay. Right foot, left foot, strong, powerful

Can play on a wing, can play through the middle. Had every attribute you needed

Just up here was like, I'm good. I'm getting paid. Life's good

Didn't have that. When it got a little bit tough, and again, different backgrounds, different upbringings

younger generation, totally get that. And I remember it's the only time it broke my heart

when a player left was when the club decided to keep, they named Isaac

for all of the reasons I just said in the squad and Okaka moved on. Broke my heart

Because I was like, that's the start of the downfall. When you start choosing talent

over hard work, we ain't ever going to survive. All right. So your first season

in the Premier League, when did you listen I know you always believed in yourself Oh no no I know what you going to ask and I know the answer You know so when did you be like either there levels to this or

Within three minutes of playing the first game against Everton. And I give John Stiles a bit of a clattering

Because he was getting linked for like 50 mil to Man City at a time. Yeah, yeah

and I remember up until that point I'd had a half decent pre-season

but I'd scored three years back to back 20s I was like it's only one division up

I must be able to score at least 15 three minutes in

and it went pop pop pop pop and I was just going how many people

are there team yeah I'm just saying and I remember one ball got played

down the channel and we used to do this with the ball come in and he's flipped it and I know I'm going yeah

and I ran and I was ahead of John Stones and then I wasn't ahead of John Stones

but I was still going as fast as I could and I was like

what the 's going on here? I remember going like midway through the game

I don't know if I can do this not like whether I can do it

just I don't think I'm good enough to be at this level was that the first time? first time ever

first time ever I was like wow and he was like running past me

won twos they'd end up drawing the game 2-2 we had a half

decent game but it was literally like if I can get five goals

I've done alright here I don't score for the first four international break

gets to game seven and this is when this is when it annoys me now

when players go we don't we don't watch matches today we don't listen

to that listen I heard every single one of them start saying

because I was playing well this was the best I'd played in my career but I hadn't scored

but you hadn't scored I think I'd got two or three assists for Iggy and Iggy had started

like a a bolt and he was just like bang I'm off

he scored in the first game scored in the second game and you know now you're thinking

it up he might take my place and I know he's not better than me

but you go into those kind of thoughts anyway the week leading up to Stoke

played Stoke away and Shearer Lineker Thierry Omri Jamie Carragher and there was a local guy

but the local guy had made a whole piece before it how if Watford

were to succeed in the Prem they had to get rid of me I was holding them back

oh shit for real yeah and I used to read everything so like I know people sit and go

oh I don't read it I used to read everything so I remember this game against Stoke

and I remember driving to the game Stoke's in the Prem right Stoke's in the Prem yeah yeah yeah

and this is the last game before International but I'd have gone 8 games which would have been 2 months in the Prem

with no goal and I was just like I have to score

I don't care if we lose 8-1 I'm scoring in this game

I scored against Stoke first goal Iggy back-heeled it to me I turned

fake to shoot and the defender slipped and I just so give me an extra touch

and then I just passed it into the bottom corner from like 20 yards out

but it was like a pat it was like you know them finishing when you just you know at it as long as you pass it

as soon as you pass it and I scored and if you ever see the celebration yet

I slid at the goal at the corner flag I headbutted it

I punched it and I was looking at the Stoke fans and you lot were saying

I couldn't do it these Stoke people didn't even know what the I was talking about but it was so personal

to me we won the game 2-0 and I remember I went to Paris

the same day because we had a few days off and I remember getting on the flight

and just going oh yeah the biggest relief oh I've arrived and I watched

match of the day I recorded it I watched it Saturday I watched it Sunday I watched it later in the week

on a Wednesday and everyone was said he's here he's here and that season

I ended up scoring I think it was 15 goals 13 assists

so when you get to the Premier the one thing you realise is

these are all your mates these are all your teammates you've never met

a more ruthless group of people Bye. Okay. I dare you miss a shot

Okay. And this is the bit that gets me with players to this day, right

So if we had, you know what, like players Saturday, every day of what for players Saturday

you'd be in on a Sunday, off on a Monday. Because they said like the second day we put the doms

be at home, rest, take the kids to school, whatever you need to do. So you'd be in on a Sunday, yeah

Let's say you won 2-1. You know the most we're going to speak about

is not the two goals it's going to be how do we let a goal in

we should have dealt with this better and by the way it got to a point

and this is when I thought our team was at its best the manager would just go click

take a step back because if let's say a cross come in

you'd have Ben Foster going it right when I was telling you there

stay the front post this is why I'm I had like a lot of cursing

a lot of swearing but it was like so I'm telling you don't worry about what

he says and then obviously chances like I remember we played a game against

Man United away never won at Old Trafford I was fuming played Iggy

Iggy was a Man United fan and in the game he had 8 shots

he lost 1-0 of those 8 he could have passed to 2 other

people 5 times and we'd have had tap-ins or 1-on-1 do you get what I mean but again older reflecting

he's a Man United fan wants to score against his boyhood team totally get it

And me and Iggy are still friends to this day. But on that day

it's a Tuesday night game. I'll never forget it. We battered Man United. One matter

scored a free kick in the 90th minute, top corner. We walked to the thingy

and everyone who walked past me was like, don't kill him. Just don't kill him

And I was like, keep him the away from me. Getting the thing

the manager was like, we're lucky, we had our chances. And I was like, I literally went

you're not going to tell him. And they were like, yeah, yeah, tomorrow

We're in tomorrow. I said, that. I said, I ain't getting on a plane with you lying today

I ain't getting on a plane with him. Got a taxi from Manchester to the hotel

£470. Oh, so you was like that. See, I never got... I can't sit in it

if we're not going to discuss it. If we have it out, no problem. And at this time, you was how old at this time

26. So you were still... 26, 27. But it was like... So as you got older, did you change that

So you still stayed on 100 if something wasn't... Even when I was at Forest Green League too

what are we doing this for? As we get older, yes, we should evolve and elevate

and all these fun, shitty buzzwords you want to use. Fact of the matter is

this is how I broke it down to a lot of the lads. This is when I was playing. Because obviously you have to change your manager

I totally take that. But when I was playing at Forest Green, right, this is a perfect example. you would have lads on, let's say, anything between 800 pound and 2 grand a week, let's just say. Yeah

They would get in at 5 to 9 and be back in their car at half 12

Okay, yeah. Simplest question, I said to them, with this current money that you've got, do you think you can retire

You know the answer. Hell no. What the are you doing from 1pm at home to the next morning at 9

I totally agree. I wouldn't go and play FIFA. Well, I hope you're good at it because that might be your job moving forward

Well, it could be now, but yeah, I get what you're saying. No, but that's the fact. Yeah. The fact is, if you try to compete with the people that are doing it for a living

while you're training, they're gaming. So you're already behind. Yeah. While you're playing on a Saturday, they're gaming

When you're playing on Tuesday, they're gaming. But factually, what I could never understand is

this is an opportunity, and you will take this exactly how I mean it

The opportunity to earn a living to kick a ball around

Are you stupid? What is the quickest way to make a million pounds

Legally. Play football. The reason why I said about was you always liked that

because in one aspect, you understood where Iggy was. you know sometimes

it's more the next day when we spoke it was fine and we had a pervelation

but this last bit is a key point to me and the reason it's

a key point to me is because you know how many of the lads and you know this

because you're a bit older than me you've seen more people retire from it they retire

they're miserable they're depressed they're thinking one key contributor what if yeah yeah

do you know how hard it is to live with what if yeah do you know how

I've been, I'm not even retired. I've stopped playing a year ago, about 15 months ago

You know why I'm so comfortable doing it? I've got arthritis in both ankles. I've got a hole in that knee

I need a hip operation. This shoulder doesn't even work properly. Can't touch my arm

Do you know why I'm so comfortable? Because I gave everything. Because there was no what ifs

I gave everything. And then when it's time to be done, because football will be done with you

100%. You go, cool. I'm all right, you know. Yeah. Like. I'll be trying to tell you that

No, but I'm saying like, I'm all right. If this football thing don't work

I do all right with the media. I'm okay. Life's good. I've got a few businesses

life's whatever. Yeah. How could, I used to say this, and I remember Dave Horstman at the time

and he used to like sit and laugh. He said, it was so true. How can I

at 35, with the injuries I've told you I've got, still be out running you

Oh, say nothing. Don't need to tell me that. And the lads would go, oh, no, no, but it's Monday

The game's not till... I'm like, no, no, no. The game starts now. Why are you comfortable being last in the running

Why are you comfortable losing games in training? Because if that's happening there, you're going to lose in life

And I swear to God, bro, I always put everything from football into life

And probably now is where I'm older and a little bit emotionless away from football

But I'm sitting going... I say to my kids now, right? But we used to consider a standard, be respectful, turn up on time

do the best you can. If he did that now, he's considered a grafter

Yeah, yeah, I feel you. I feel you, I feel you, I feel you. So the problem is he's probably got friends and family

and different people go, bloody hell, your dad's intense, isn't he? One of my daughters plays for Leicester

You know you're not supposed to speak like around there, it's academy. She was doing the sprint test two weeks ago

and I knew she weren't sprinting because you know your kids, right? Because you know your kids, yeah. But she didn't want to embarrass her friends

Bed by Nuts about to speak. Oi, get here. Dad, you're not meant to..

Get here. Do you think I'm driving you to football for you to not try

Yeah, yeah. If you don't want to do it, tell me now we'll go home. I'm sorry

Next one. Sprint, sprint. Guess who's the fastest in our team? Yeah, I already know

But this is me now as a parent and as a footballer. When we get back in the car

she did 18 things good what do you think we spoke about for an hour and a half

on the way home yeah I'm different from you but I get what you're

saying about why do you get to come and half ass it

what because I'm I'm doing okay in life I'm doing okay in life

not you you get the spoils of the hard work and my wife's exactly the same

and I spoke to the little man on the way down about it like

you have to work harder do you know why now for him especially

you're a dini and you're a male so now people think you're me

even though we're completely 50 times better than me as a human

but now you've got to understand just being nice isn't good enough

just being okay isn't good enough ask him what I've been like now

with doing GCSEs but you know the thing is like am I lying

so you don't speak what listen I always say and I I touched on it earlier in the sense where I believe we all are products of our environment

That's not environment. No, that is. It's not. It's not environment. If it's a product of my environment, I don't let every single excuse get in the way

No. It is because there's 50 other people that were in the same situation as me doing the same thing

and have all used that excuse as to why life didn't choose them. You're missing the point of what I say is a product of your environment

so your product of your environments is that you chose to not allow your environment to determine

you so to define you so what there is though but see now you pass on so what we want as fathers

your dad wanted better for you so but your your pup still made mistakes which you made mistakes

but still wanted better from you so your environment what you was around you didn't

allow to define you but then shaped you so now for your child and your children you are now saying

setting an environment to be like, look, it may look different, but for me, the environment now I'm setting for you

is that you now can't allow your environment to define you. So now you're saying to your boy that he's a deenie

So because now he is now known or what you've now pushed from your pups

you pushed him there. He's spoiled. Is that right there? No, no, no, listen. He's spoiled

Yeah, you spoiled him. So that's what it is. So you spoiled him

So what you're trying to do now is give him the things that you didn't have

but not take away the things that you did learn by not having it. So that's the balance of now what you're trying to do

You're throwing mics around and I get all angry. You know, sometimes you laugh talking about and the dead

But the point, the point of what I'm saying is, when the reason I, and again, I know it's about football

but I actually think it's life. And it is about life. It is about life

But the point of what I'm saying to you is, right, we have all been around talented people

we all have one singular thing one singular word that makes us all the same normal

but your day of normal is filming this shit my day of normal

today is being with the kids driving two hours to come and be with you

your normal is fixing that your normal is doing that but we all use words of normal

so there's somebody somewhere that goes I would love to have a podcast with this fancy set up

with all these pictures of Troy not the ones of you all these pictures of Troy Hater hanging around Hater

But you hear what I'm saying, right? So that's what was normal. So now, right, when we use that word as normal

what does that mean? It means all, because it's not normal

Our lives are not normal. What do we want everyone to have? The whole saying should be hard work

because you made hard work to get to there Right And somebody who wants your you see has now got to work harder than you to get there Right But fundamentally the only word we should ever use is hard work

Cool. I don't ever tell you that, but it's all relative. How did you get big? Huh

No, genuinely, how did you get big? To be, to, to, to, listen, to validate your point

because I would have said something, it is hard work. Of course it is. Do you miss a day at the gym

No. Do you miss a day on the Wattbike and keep posting it on WhatsApp for everyone to look at

It's motivating. It's uncomfortable. I'm just motivated I'm just so comfortable just seeing you sweating listen

you know what I see when I see I think his missing must be like thinking

this is what she sees you got you I was saying that

I was saying that I just want to put maybe when I was younger

but as I'm older I don't put in that same amount of work I hear you I'm just going to throw that

I hear you I hear you no but like but it is

it's hard work no and I don't the worst thing is The craziest, maddest thing is what you're saying

I agree. Fundamental that it is hard work. It's hard work. Hard work is a goal

But, but, but, what you also want to understand is, so you're not taking hard work away from your son

You're still trying to install hard work, but within a place where he's not starting

from where you started from. Even that normal, it's all context and relevance

to the individual. And that's why I always say to you this, even when you're talking about, look, careers

and you don't, and I say to you, big man, I know how hard I worked

and I didn't achieve what you achieved. So I would, I could never

I could never, no matter what I've done with my life and I've maximized what was God giving me

I've maximized it and I've known, but I worked hard and yet still

I still didn't get to the promised land that you did and that's why we always go back and forth

and I'm like, but Buddha. I was going to say, can you finish off what I say back to you? No, but no

of course you give props but I always sit here and I say, but I worked hard

and I didn't get to the prem, big man. So when you try and I'm not saying you downplay

what you've done but I'm like brother this is why I could have never

even sit and say brother that man's shit because and I'm not saying

you do but I can't because I know the graft I put in

and yet still I fell short from what that first goal was. Not saying

I wouldn't change my career. We're saying the same thing but in a different way. Do you know what I'm saying

But look I'm going to actually ask that I'm crazy in regards it may sound silly. What was the hardest league

League two, League one, the champ or the Prem? It's the Prem. I know some Prem man

don't try and say, oh yeah, because you don't get to, the Prem was the hardest. Night and day. Yeah

You can play three games in a week and be cool. You can play one game

against Man City, don't touch the ball and cover 15k and think

what the is up on there? Yeah, we got them in a couple games. But the thing is, one thing

again, maybe it's got a little bit away from it now because they're all playing

the same type of way, but, especially for the time I was in the Prem

You could play Aston Villa at the time, like they were in transition and weren't the Villa of now

But you'd have to be physically fit. You'd have to go to war. And then you'd have to deal with Jack Grealish

Then the following week, you'd play Man City. And you go, we're going to touch the ball

Well, we do touch the ball. Hopefully, we get more than one touch. And maybe if we get two, we'll have a good day

Then you go, oh, I've got Anfield away the week after that. We've got to go to Liverpool. And then Mane, Firmino, Salah

and everyone just running and you'll go, what the is going on here

This is the maddest part, right? When you're in the Prem, you have to go to a point and I remember this

we did it at Liverpool because the manager said, there is no weakness

under the Klopp team, right? And I remember him saying, we're going to send it

to Andy Robertson. That was our only chance that we had. Let it go down

the left-hand side. Why was that? Because he was just a little bit worse than Trent

Not because he was bad, that's it you play in the champ

you know and you've been there play in the champ or EFL you know if you've had a shit game

for 87 minutes one of these defenders is going to run into each other

you're going to have a shot I mean I ain't playing the friend but I know the EFL team

you know you don't have to do much just stand in the middle of the goal

and probably one of them is going to fall over the cross is going to come in

someone's going to miss it it's going to land at your feet they give away a stupid pen

they'll give up you'll have a five minute spell in a championship game

a 15-minute spell in a championship game where you've been terrible, but you could score two

Yeah. In a Prem game, you could have a 90-minute game where you've been unbelievable

and you've touched the ball 22 times and you're 4-0 down. And you're going

I think I played all right there. And you go, how? How do you... Where's the logic

No, I did, because I didn't give the ball away, but you didn't touch it. Oh, yeah, that cut out

The levels are just... Bro, the levels are crazy. I've been there, I watch it

and I'm like, boy, We played a couple of these big teams in cup runs

and it's just been... I remember when you played Liverpool, it was on TV. I think you got Gerrard's shirt, if I remember that same game

The one thing that no one understands, right? See the sound when these guys pass the ball

Yeah, brother. The ball goes, boom, boom, boom. And you're thinking, they're just..

When did that change? What's happening here? So did that change in training

Because that's what you know when all of a sudden, when they pass the ball

So a defender pass it into the midfielder. It's not just tapped in. It's a rhythm

This is the thing that I learnt in the Prem. So you do like

passing drills and you'd go like one touch back, one touch back. But you wanted to hear

doom, doom, doom, doom. That's what you wanted to hear. You wanted to hear touch on that foot

out quick. Doom, doom, doom, doom. And I remember we had Marco Silva

and he did this passing drill and it must have went doom, doom, doom

He went, whoa, whoa, whoa. He wasn't even watching. The was that

That is sick, you know. Sorry, I just want to, because I don't think I've heard it explained

as in music. Yeah, because that's what it is. It's like, you're doing

you know, however it might be. I know what you're doing. I can close my eyes and know the drill

I don't know, it's coming from the last, you go boom, boom, boom, boom. So you're getting a touch on your left foot

bang your right. And the one that tempo, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And then someone has a bad touch

and you go boom, boom, boom. And it's like, hold on, wait, wait

this is the warm up. We're not going to get it right here

We'll just run. And you've heard that how many times? How many times? And you go, oh. And I remember we had one time

we did a thing. I can't remember who was a coach. I think it was Javi Garcia

We did this coach. We did this drill. And it was like, boom, boom, boom, boom

And then it was like, right, one touch. So usually, boom, boom, boom, boom. You know, with a one touch, it gets quicker

And it's like, pass. It's around the square. Then the third one was into your man

It come back out. And then he's got to change. So whenever you say change, you'd normally get a little bit of tempo mix

I remember he went, do-do, do-do, do-do. And he goes, change. He went, boom, boom, boom, boom

And it went seamless. And everyone was like, ooh. You hear that

That's when we knew we were good. That year we got to the FA Cup final. Because we was all in sync

And it's just a little nuanced thing that people won't understand unless you're in it

But when you're hearing, do-do, do, do, do. You can close your eyes and listen to a game of football and go

that's too slow yeah what was it what made you the good captain

at that specific time the recruitment every six months it was what have you done for me lately is that Janet Jackson is it the song what have have you done for me lately Janet Jackson It was six months Window closed in August If you went at it by Jan somebody else is coming

Competition's healthy. Competition is what you need. So, but then being as the captain

you had to be the connector, no? Yeah. So how did you manage controlling that

the culture, controlling the competitive element that it's not an easy just going for him

No, it got to a point where we were so good as a group

So from the English side of things, myself, Craig Kafka. We say English, it's like English speaking

It's not, they are English. Craig Kafka, Ben Foster, myself, Tom Cleverley, Will Hughes

Nathaniel Chalabat, Andre Gray. There's seven. Good lads, Spider-T, Mapsi. Sorry, Mapsi, I left you up

Mapsi, good lads, solid, you know what you're going to get. From the French side, you had Decore, Capu, you had Isma Sarr, you had good lads from the Spanish-speaking side, you had Pereira, Delefeu, you had Kiko

We were bigoted boys from AC Milan, Juventus. Do you know what I mean

Man United. But that's what I'm saying, I'm coming for you. Yeah. So think about it, but you've come from non-league

Yeah. This is the... Yeah, but they're coming into my world. In my world, you do things properly

Okay. I don't care what you did at Juventus. I hope that what you did at Juventus

you come in and you can sprinkle a little bit more to us and elevate us

And Maxi Pereira did that fantastically. Trained so well, so elegant when he went past people

You know you do the games, like the little running games, like, you know, in and out of cones

come back, give the bib. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Never touch a cone. Yeah, yeah, don't

Never touch a cone. And then, you know, you see the English ones and there's cones facing everywhere

And I used to be like, mate you never touch the code he's like no no I don't want the player to be able

to touch me because he's thinking how is he going to skip past players so how did

you manifest or deal with the financial element so brother the reason why

I'm saying that because I think you know but go on yeah but no the reason why I'm saying that I'm talking about

as with money comes ego so when you're a product of the EFL

you know the most man's going to earn 10 bags if that

in the league two league ones to the chat. You know, you're now going on

we slightly touched on, you was on 24 bags and then... I started a five-year deal

five years in a row. I know what you was on. So, man and them are similar

onto that, meaning that... We can say it, it's not a problem. I went from five to 24

24 to 50, 50 to 75, 75 to 130. Damn! Sorry, say the last one again

139. Damn! I'm not even sorry. So now, that level of money is

you can't chat to me money that's from the product of and I'm talking about

from where the product of when you get to that you're like big man

like you were saying that when you was on five bags like man I don't care

if I don't play because I'm guy shopping again evolution no no not for you

no no not for you I'm talking about as a captain how do you then

deal with man their response could be but if I play if I don't play

I can go buy a Lambo every week 23s were over there So that's

So that's what I'm saying So that's That's what I wanted to get Fozzie said it the best

On his podcast Right He said it twice They asked They asked him who was

This by the way This is After I've left He's at Wrexham

So he can choose Whoever he wants to He said Who's the best captain

You've ever had He said obviously Man United had Roy Keane But the best captain

I had was Troy Why He'd have to He'd have to ask him Why

But I think he said Something to the effect Of he kept everyone in line He was great

and the second he left, it went to shit. Right? So that to me

is the best form of like credit, respect, whatever, that somebody else says

I get it. Do you know what I'm saying? But to me, what I would say. So what was your one greatest

for you? For you. So you hear that. So you hear somebody

that's had Roy Keane. And then he says, for me, he kept everybody in line

And the thing which I keep coming back to, and you said it, I don't care if they don't like me. But at the end of the day is

I'm going to make you better. I'm going to make you... So, would that be your one..

The one for you to be like, look, the guy don't like me, but I'm here to make you better. I'm going to make you better

I'm going to realise that you don't realise just how much you can push through this shit

Because I didn't. And this is going to sound big. I guarantee you, if we and you have played in the same team

for three years, you'd have had the best year of your life

The worst thing is, I wouldn't have... I'm not talking about it from a friendship

I'm not talking about it from a numbers point of view. I guarantee you I'd have got you the best

and the maddest thing is you'd have hated every minute of it and this is what I'm saying but what I would say back

you would have then been a better captain because you would have

not have just seen it your way and that's why I think we work so well together

because we're different in the way we captain and the different we came because we are both alphas

there's no two ways about it we walk in the room our energy speaks before I think I could talk about

the situation there that I'm trying to allude to without giving it away go on, go on, go on

obviously the big man is kind of scared of water water's not really his

not kinda Dallas kid like I'm talking he doesn't even dip his toe in at the beach

yeah I'm not that guy so we we was we was at a we was at a situation

in a program where he required us to get into the water and

you know try and try and achieve and do some stuff yeah try to

try to do some try to go against your you know go against your fears natural

yeah your fears and obviously the big man was a little bit It's fair to say that. You was a little bit apprehensive

You were nervous. Mum, don't sugarcoat it, brother. He's shitting himself, innit? I was scared, cos..

I'm telling you, your brother's in the room. He knows, Mum! Mum, he see me wet in the bed, cos he knows my weaknesses, baby

I'll tell you that. When he was very young. I'm just saying that. Recently

No, but basically, yeah. Yeah, say it, go on. Obviously, he was very scared, very... Whatever

And I observe... I think you notice it. I observe everything. I understand who's what..

And I see it all. so I see him talking to himself and it's like

it wasn't like a motivational talk it was more like yo we don't need this edit

like let's am I lying? no you're not yeah he was like

we don't need it we've done enough let's go home the missus, the kids

it's nice like it's nice at home so I walked over and I just

kindly reminded him this water will be over in 30 seconds

get your shit together and just think at the end of it

how proud you are. You're going to ask your kids at some point

to do something they don't want to do. And they're going to see this and go

you're a hypocrite. And that's what I say to them all the time

Anything I've asked you to do, I've done 10 times better. 10 times harder

I promise you, anything I'm asking you to do is not to do it to humiliate you

I'll never do that. But if I'm going to ask you, yo go do this

or go do that it's because I'm willing to go there and I remember I just left you

for 30 seconds or so again he must have had a chat with himself

it must have worked because he was like yo I'm ready let's go it wasn't

what I needed from my point of view it was the way he

so he helped me through it and you see it like brother there was times I was tapping out saying yo you ain killing me today

And listen, it was and sometimes that works. At that point then, in the insanity we was in, it weren't no time to close your eyes and let's sing

It was big man thing. We ain't gonna die. Let's get out of this situation. We'll get in, we'll get out

And that's what I needed. And that's what worked there. And that's why I say, as a collective

I totally get it, where I would have disliked it. I would have disliked hearing what you were saying

to get to, look, it's a means to an end. And to get to that end, we need to go through this

So that's what I'm saying. If I could just full circle that off, yeah. This is the bit, right

So fans might not like me and ownership might not like me

Do you think there's enough player interviews, interviews, enough people that I've played with

I had 18 managers in 13 years or whatever. Have you ever

heard one of them, just one, say, I dislike Troy. I hate Troy

He hasn't, like whatever. I've got seven men on my phone that say it, but they're scared

because they might say, I don't like it enough. you. I'm literally saying like

genuinely with chess, they can't. And the reason is because at the end

of it, to wrap it all up into one is, we got one life

One life. We don't, you may believe we come back, whatever, but for right here, right now

for what we know, we got one life. Why not just go full throw

There's two things that's going to happen. One, you're going to succeed or two

you're going to be ahead of where you was yesterday. Do you know what? So let me just

and I'm going to wrap this up because we could talk. The reason why I'm saying it's powerful

and the reason why, what, how you was, and how you are

allowed you to get through the environment and the trials and tribulations you went through

And the reason why I say as a collective is why we would be powerful

is because some people hadn't gone through as harsh of an environment or a reality

that you went through. They still have got the talent, but what that dealing with was not needed

if you know what I'm saying. So that's the reason why I'm saying, Bub, nobody will come out

because especially as you develop, so a 19-year-old, 20-year-old dealing with a Troy Deeney who's 24, 25

and the way you're, what you saw at nine, you're like, you think this is hard

Do you understand what I'm saying? Yeah, no, no, no, but I'm able to be empathetic. No, no, so, and the worst thing is

I know, I know you. And, but you can't be, especially where you're

where you've grown now. And I also, what makes you is, I don't care what anybody says

as soon as you become a father, it's the first time of unconditional love

You know, it's unconditional love. And so also that just by its DNA default settings

has something within you that changes you in regard. So don't let me, let me go on camera

Don't let me take away me saying that you're not empathetic. Far from it. I'm just saying that in regards to when you discuss

through individuals and the deliverance at times will be, what I'm saying is that

it's the balance in regards to and there's there's one thing I pride myself on

and this is the bit I probably should have said earlier see all the good shit I do yeah

the good shit you'll never hear about it it's kind of why

because I ain't doing it for that for example here's one that's

actually out there we had to do it because it was a charitable donation at a school in Watford

I built an outside facility for kids with autism Why would you not scream that from the rafters

Why? Because, okay But the thing is, do you know the motivation behind it

Go on, but it's not Do you know the motivation behind it? Of what

Doing that for kids with autism Do you know why? How blessed we are to have kids that are fully okay

Life's good So why are you But you know negativity Negativity roles, right

And people spin off negativity And they post negativity Good So it doesn't take any way from you genuinely in your heart

No, but it does, but it takes away from the true terms of it. And I'll answer it, right? You just said there, negativity sells, negativity rolls

So even if I did one thing good, let's just say I only ever did one thing good. Right

That's not going to get the traction that the negativity does, right? 100%. Cool. But when you do one thing good

and in this situation, it's at school, life's good, and you're helping close to 50 to 100 kids per day, right

those hundred people know the real me. Right. The negativity is the people online going

oh my God, he doesn't like Liverpool. Yeah. And I'll tell you this, I've been through the airport

I've been through everywhere. There is not one person in my life

in 36 years of living, that's ever come up to me and go, I am X562 off Twitter and I said this

Yeah, yeah. Listen, bad guy. Not one. So what I say to that is

do the good stuff and what will happen is, and again, snowball effect

you do the stuff behind it, everyone will come here, I said hello to everybody, do I not? Yeah

That's here, that's everywhere I go. Yeah. Because one of these people now

will meet five people at the pub afterwards. They go, we interviewed that Troy Deeney today

they go, hell, I can't stand him. Do you know what they're going to say? But he's cool with that, man

He's all right, you know, I think you've got him wrong. Yeah. So why do I need to post that I've just met these people

when they're going to do it for me? But that's not what you're posting. Why do I need to post to charity

when they're going to do it for me? See, then this is what I think you're missing. And this is why I'm saying

you become so tunnel vision and because you're a product, you're like saying this

So I know that, man them say, Troy don't like Salah. So we know that

because that's a talking point, right? So you now do your school

And the funny thing is, I didn't even know. I didn't know you built the school. So I've known you the whole period

And this is, but I would have known oh, yeah, boom. You know what

Man don't rate Salah. Whatever. Do you know what I'm saying? Because that's what they... But you know I go away now saying

do you know what? Troy's story just, it touched, man. So not only did he see something at nine

he did this and that, he still, his fortitude still was like, wow

he built a school. So then when I'm chatting to the man, I'll be like, yo, what can we do

But what can we do? So when I'm saying, so I'm just, no, but you're missing

No, no, but you building the school and what naturally will happen is

bruv, why'd you got, you'll have people on the internet, bruv, why you got a post if you're just doing a good deed

Oh, you want a pat on the back. You know what I'm saying? That's what people, you may not say that

I don't have a post. I don't, but people may turn around and say, why show your good deeds

Because what that then does is it makes other people be like

nah, you know what, bruv, this world is a good place. Because we constantly get programmed

by seeing negativity. We constantly get programmed by seeing what's wrong with the world

And me sitting back here. I just think we look at the world different, you know. Exactly. Jump in

But I just want to let you know- When you're saying it like that, because I'm literally going like, well then, I don't do socials

The reason I don't do socials, because in real life, I know who I am. Cool

So if I need to go and post a picture, and this is for loads of people now, they'll post a picture

and it, hell, it only got 100 likes. Jesus Christ. You don't know 100 people

What are you talking about? Cool. I don't know. I'm with you on that

This is what I'm saying. But you're still, you're looking at it. I'm looking at it as a normal human

No, because... That's actually normal. But what you're saying, so why, so now, why look at it

I don't know why we're arguing over something good, by the way. I know, I know. But it's fine. You and your brothers

you post, whenever I see you guys post, yeah? Genuinely, hand on heart

I'm not saying it because you're here and I'm not saying it because you're both smaller than me, yeah? I am saying

when I see you guys post, I genuinely sit and laugh and like

it fills me with enjoyment and happiness. It's like, do you get what I'm saying

It's like, that's how it should be. That's a family unit that's been, whether you've gone through hardship

good shit, whatever, you lot have been raised properly. That's how I see it. You've been raised properly

because you fundamentally know that no matter what happens in this world, you've got your brothers

Amen. That's factually right. I look at life and go, right. If I posted everything that I did

everything that I did, which is what people want you to do. one people would think it's fake okay because they wouldn't be able to see how much i do and

they don't understand it yeah secondly it would confuse the out of people because they go

actually he's all right but he's a knob and but he does nice things but he slags my teeth and it

would just confuse people so what i do is go do you know you want to make your your your assumption

of me go ahead one thing I guarantee you're not gonna do put your hands on me secondly

now this is just how I am secondly if you are in need yeah I'm always gonna be there do you know

this is what I saying and that we are saying the worst thing is we are saying the same thing in regards to but what I just want to say and this is my charity a shout to give my charity a shout out as well because we help 500 kids per week Say it again That funded by who

Say it again. 500 kids a week. By the end of this year, we're at 5,000 kids a week

But so, and this is what I want to try and say to you. So there you go. Vision for all

Go check it out. Listen, and we'll put the link in, go check out Vision for all. But brother

look, that, that's the thing. So they can all say what they want to say

because it's clickbait. We know the world, we're living in. But for me, as regardless

strip it all away. That doesn't change. That man's saying, oh yeah, yeah

Troy's this. I don't see you. I don't care. How much money do I ask you for this

Nothing. All right, listen. I've said this throughout the show and all this conversation

and people give flowers when... You're dead. Yeah. But I always feel like

you've got to give flowers here. And again, like we touched on subliminally

and we've had conversations without no cameras and that, you know, how much I respect you

Like, and, bub, your story is powerful. And I know sometimes you don't like hearing that

and you're like, no, man, I'm strong. Shut up, man. You're the realist

I hope I don't sound like that. I know I sound bad, but... No, that's how you sound like that. I'm strong, bub, I don't hug nobody

Bub, you're one of the realist. Been one of the realist people. So, and also with this Be Small podcast

we do giving flowers a little bit differently because you know what I'm saying? So I know you're like

I don't want flowers. It's only give flowers when people pass, but word on the street is

you've never tried African food. No, I told you I've never tried African food

I know what I'm saying. I try to make out like I did hella research. I actually chat to you and you told me you didn say it I from obviously a Caribbean background and like from around my area it Caribbean or Irish So on the Beast Mode podcast we like to do things where it different

You have memories and that. So this is going to be... You're not going to give me any madness though? No, no, no, no

Not madness. No, but pop a nice food. A goosey, poundy jam, some soya

All right, listen, we'll get... We'll get... We'll get... Put it in on them things. Soya? Yeah, man, soya. Put it in there

Get this, brother. Come on. You're going to try this. You're going to give me your honest opinion, to be fair, like you

Like I've got to tell you Okay Alright But the problem You've got to have instantly

What I find Especially with Caribbean food It's not like Parents or grandparents

Oh listen You're never going to find that You're never going to find it You know what I'm saying But you're going to get

The essence You're going to get The essence of it Why is the onion Not cooked though

No the onion You just put it on For what You just put it on there

For little bit The way that it resonates Onto the soya So and I know

You might eat with your hands Don't you So show me how this goes You might you know because, yeah, we eat with our hands

You've got to eat with your hands. You get me? So let me show you how you... Go on, let's do it. So this way, you take it out here

That? You dip. You take it in. Oh. What the? Oh, damn, man

I've heard it's everything about that made me feel sick. What the? Why are you chomping like that

Because it's... Take it in first and then tell me. You've got to do this? Yeah. Hey, that's a bit... Okay

Yeah, and then get some of that, yeah. What is this that I'm eating? It's a goosey soup, so..

A soup? Yeah, it's a soup. It's a good soup. It's a good soup. No, what

You take it for a day, yeah? Whoa, whoa, yeah, you know what I'm a

I ain't gonna lie. Go on. It's meaty. What? It's meaty. I ain't gonna lie a little bit, it's a little bit cold

but you know what I'm saying. But take some of this What do you do This is soya Do you like pepper Yeah Oh you going to take this yeah man Yeah What do you say

Oh, snap. It's all right. I don't even want to... This is me

This is all right, though. This is a bit of me. This is nice. To me, it would taste better when it's warm

It's a little bit... This is one of them... This is going to make me shit for a couple of days

No, no, this is the cool one. Nah, it runs out my belly. Nah, man, it's a cool one, the pepper on that

This is beef soya. There's lamb soya. There's different ones which, to be fair I'm a lamb soya kind of guy

This is overrated. But I ain't gonna lie to you, Bob. It's overrated, isn't it

You're not right. You're not really like us. You're not right, brother. No, it's cool. I'm not gonna lie to you, you're not right

I'm gonna lie, if you was eating this, then maybe from five Troy Deenis, you could've took three Troy Deenis

But you, go eat, go on, go on. Go eat your curry goat. No, you know. Let's just go eat your curry goat

You need some roti, you need some... Go eat over that, but that don't give you the real shit

See how the black people know. They know. They know. This is hard to eat, man

Why do you think, man? Why do you think we're so solid? Strong jaw, innit

Why do you think we're so solid? You've got to eat the right food. You know what? It can work

Yeah, I know, man. I know. I'm on about this. The worst thing is, if I got you..

If I got you assorted, I should have got you assorted meat. Oh, the red stew

Let me just say, I've got to say, thanks to Mr. Torek Dini for coming

Listen, I knew it was going to be explosive. I knew it was going to be epic. Yeah, you might say you don't like it

Look at me. I'm trying to make this nice. I'm trying to make this nice. You got me fingers out here. But listen, real bars

Blessings on blessings. Troy. Thank you. My brother for life. Blessings on blessings

And you, bro. Like, subscribe, all that good stuff. Peace and love

Take care