So you want to get your Ex Back - Tips, do's, and don'ts!

If you're reading this, you've probably already tried the begging, pleading, and emotional cries for mercy - and been soundly rejected. So, some of your friendly moderators and royal members have gotten together to try to compile a "now where do I go from here, and why won't he/she listen to me?" tips and advice - with explanations as to WHY you're being advised to take these steps. Hopefully it'll give some of you a better handle on what your exes might be thinking and feeling - and why what you've tried simply hasn't worked. Important: This is assuming there's no third party waiting in the wings and you've heard the "I need space," "I think maybe we should date other people," or "I don't know if this is going to work out," or other "iffy" statements that imply they're questioning their feelings and/or feelings about being in a relationship... or you've had indications from other sources that your ex is not so happy with their decision. Let's start with why begging and pleading for another chance doesn't work. Ok, it might work once or twice, but you know why? It's because you've administered a heavy dose of guilt, and chances are said ex still has feelings for you - and caved under the pressure. Now, if you've ever been guilted into doing something, you know you're not going into it wholeheartedly, in a sense it's emotional blackmail, albeit unintentional, and it leads to resentment just waiting to blossom in the first conflict that comes after. I know, you THINK you're just letting them know how much they mean to you. However, what's heard is "you're breaking my heart, you're hurting me incredibly, this person who loves you so!" Always, always, always try and think a step ahead - if you needed a break from a relationship for some reason and still had feelings for someone, how would this make you feel? Yep, approximately an inch tall and the lowest life form on the planet. Needless to say, this is NOT a good beginning to trying to rekindle a romantic relationship! Step one - ok, you've all heard it, seen it advised, and wondered how the heck it helps when you're thinking you need to be around to remind your love of all the good times you've shared and how much they mean to you. Yep, the dreaded "no contact" rule. (Note: if no contact isn't completely possible due to work/school situation or shared friends, skip on to step 2 The reasoning that you need to remind your ex of your presence? First error in judgement. The hard fact is, you have to be noticeably "not there" for your ex to MISS you. The last thing someone who may rethink things wants is someone hounding their footsteps trying to influence them. The first thing they're going to miss, assuming you guys have been together more than a few weeks, is that "person being around to share things with" that they've grown accustomed to. After you've been in a relationship for a while, think about it - when you've had a bad day at work, or done really great on a test, gotten a part in a play, a job promotion - the instinct is to pick up the phone and call that person to share it! That needs no reminder, and THAT is what you want working in your favor. You want habit and that emotional "sharing" bond working FOR you here, rather than giving your ex an ammunition to stay strong against you. Read more https://www.enotalone.com/topic/13728-so-you-want-your-ex-back-tips-dos-and-donts/