Detaching From a Malignant Man You Love

Disengaging from a man you love, like or are infatuated with, takes a lot of self-discipline and emotional strength. It's like going against the force of gravity. It is counterintuitive. It's traumatic. It's not a natural process. It defies our human instinct to attach. Getting over a man can take several months to several years, depending upon how attached you were to him, how much you idealized him, your childhood history, your past traumas and your opportunities to meet new men. Your feelings need to be cognitively understood, mourned, grieved and worked through. During this time, you need to be resilient, patient and compassionate with yourself. You have to have the ability to adapt. Take as long as you need. There is no time limit. This is not a race. You must have faith and vision that you will get over him. This process does take will power and commitment. You will have to be creative, inventive and clear about your intention to detach. Keep a Recovery Journal Keep a recovery journal - take notes as you proceed through this journey. You will also use your journal for writing exercises at the end of the chapters. You will be able to refer to your own journal for advice and tips. Fifteen Step Program to Detach From a Malignant Man Here are the fifteen most important, immediate things to do to detach from a Malignant Man you've decided to end a relationship with, or who has broken up with you. Stop All Communication with Him Every time you communicate with him, you are sabotaging the detachment process. You are also taking the risk of getting hurt and will have to work that much harder to get over him again. So don't call that man. Don't email that man. Don't text that man. Don't jog by that man's apartment. Don't go to nightclubs where you know that man hangs out. Don't go to some area close to his job, hoping to accidentally run into him.