Confused Relationship: Married but seeing my ex

I dated my ex for a few months back when I was 15 years old. Due to a traumatic experience, I had to leave town without saying goodbye and our relationship ended without any closure. Years later, we started talking again as friends on and off. I eventually moved abroad for my higher education and we lost contact again. Upon returning, I met a man and we got married. We've been married for 14 years and have two children together but our relationship is far from perfect. For the past ten years, we haven't been intimate on a regular basis - he's rejected me 9/10 times when I'd approach him for sex or just to make out, but otherwise we get along well - you could call us roommates who have children together. Now, for the past 3 years, that same ex has been a part of my life. We'd talk and then go our separate ways and reconnect again. We'd laugh and reminisce of the times we spent together. Recently he told me that he blamed himself for me leaving town even though that's far from the truth. We started talking again regularly and he said he has a crush on me. Our conversations have been flirtatious, until the past few days when he said he loves me and at times desperately needs me BUT he can't be selfish and can't hurt my family because he has principles BUT I'm his dream. I told him I wasn't asking him for anything, but I had love in my heart for him too as a person. Now all of a sudden, he's talking to me about his sex life and how he's calling chicks over to have sex with them. He knows it hurts me because I do have feelings for him. I just don't understand what's going on! And I don't understand how to gauge what he truly feels or why he's trying to hurt me by telling me that hot girls are coming to his place. Is this his way of shooing me away? Or does he want to see my reaction? Or is this is his way of protecting himself from pain? I don't know what to do - I do want to explore things with him to see where we go, but I don't know how to get him back to how things were. As for my relationship with my husband, I've told him multiple times that we'll stay together till our children are old enough to understand why their parents are separating. Thanks a bunch! Please Post your advice and feedback here https://www.enotalone.com/topic/450845-confused-relationship/ or comment here