Breakup To those who have been dumped for someone else

Four months ago, my long-term boyfriend of three years dumped me for another girl. It has been a long, hard and painful journey, but it does get better. I have learned a lot from my experiences and have actually become grateful for this in some ways. Being dumped is bad enough. You have to get used to life without your significant other. You don't have that support you once did and are now forced to rearrange your future that you once planned around your ex. You have to deal with going to places that remind you of them or hearing songs that take you back to the good times. It’s not an easy process, especially if it was a complete surprise. During this time, you try and work on the things that led the relationship to fail. If it was your own fault you may try to work on your qualities that your partner did not like, for one reason or the other. Sometimes there is no need to fix any qualities. Instead, you have to take the time to realize that you gave the relationship all you could and if they did not see that...then they did not deserve you anyways. It takes a lot to make the physical changes and gain the mental strength, but hopefully, you got a concrete reason as to why you didn't work for them. Answers help the healing process. Through my experiences, I think being dumped for someone else is the ultimate heartbreaker. I am sure many of you have been dumped for someone else. And I am sure many can say it was "their loss" and that "I deserve so much better than them anyways". If you are one of these people, I strongly admire you. I unfortunately was not. It was not that easy to let him go. I could not say "screw you" and move on with my life. I think there are a lot of people out there who felt the way I did. It was a process that I do actually feel fortunate enough to have been though for some reasons that I will get too. The worst feeling through all of this is the first one to arise, and that is the feeling of being replaced. You immediately feel like the relationship meant nothing to your partner. You feel like you meant nothing to your partner. You wonder how they can start a brand-new bond with someone so quickly, while you are left to pick up the pieces. I often wondered how I would ever fall in love again. I wondered how long it would take until I actually felt happy…a feeling that I thought would never return. It seemed so bizarre that my partner could be happy and fall in love so quickly. Then you experience some resentment to their new girlfriend or boyfriend. You start to blame them for letting it happen even though you know it is really your ex you should be hurt by. They were the one who wasn’t supposed to hurt you. Some may say that the partner may have mentally prepared themselves for a while before getting the courage to dump you, which makes it easier for them to move on and experience new love. But then you wonder why they didn’t respect you enough to share their honest feelings. Why would they lie to you and tell you that they loved you when they had someone else in mind? You hope and pray that the relationship does not work out for them. You want them to feel as miserable as you do. You had to go through the pain of breakup and process of healing alone, while they are out having fun. You realize their new partner is getting to experience all the fun things you miss doing with your ex. You hope that they come back, so you can either take them back and start anew, or so you could get satisfaction in telling them off. You begin to do all the wrong things shattering some dignity. You beg and try to force them to remember the good times. For most of us that really doesn’t work and we all secretly know this. We all know they have to come to the realizations of what they want for themselves. So, then you go no contact. You can’t bear to see them with the person you love, so it’s all you have left. You’re left with so many unanswered questions that make it impossible to move on. You wonder what this new person has that you don’t. You wonder what mistakes you made that led this to happen. You wonder if you should have seen this coming and could have prevented it. And the worst of all…. You wonder how the love of your life did this to you, especially after you gave the relationship everything you had. One day you begin to realize that you did not make any mistakes. This was not your fault and you do deserve better. You begin to notice more around you and see that there are better people out there who won’t hurt you, no matter how perfect you thought your ex was. Red more https://www.enotalone.com/topic/175214-to-those-who-have-been-dumped-for-someone-else/