Breakup and Reconciliation: What happens next?

After breakup you will now find yourself at the crossroads – with a decision to make: Stay in Contact, or initiate No Contact. There are some situations where contact is a necessity for example when children are involved or you work, go to school with your ex. There may be others, but these are the primary ones. In these cases, keep contact to a minimum and remember that you have already told your ex about your feelings and your desire for reconciliation, so do not under any circumstances have these conversations again. Keep your interactions with your ex as brief as possible and keep any conversation completely related to your reason for being in contact such as children, work, school. This will be hard, but again, you have to remember your goal – maintaining your dignity and self-respect and avoiding your ex’s pity. Do not compromise these for even a second. Stay strong, and prepare yourself for each interaction with your ex: “Proper preparation prevents poor performance”. If you have no obvious ties with your ex, you are still at the crossroads – staying in contact or breaking contact. In the majority of scenarios, your ex will suggest ‘staying friends’ – they may even do more than suggest it, they may actually start to beg and plead themselves. Some dumpees are willing to enter a friendship almost immediately and some are emotionally ready to do so. Some relationships were built on friendship and many successful friendships have been born out of failed relationships – BUT, and I must stress this – these are the *exception* to the rule. I will say this again – the moment that you poured your heart out to your ex and expressed your desire for a second chance was the turning point in the breakup. That is the moment that your actions became motivated by one thing and one thing only – what is best for YOU…. not for your ex, not for the hope of reconciliation – but for you, and you alone. You should never enter a ‘friendship’ with an ex as a means to ‘get them back’. If you have *any* desire to get back with your ex…even if you try to convince yourself by saying “Well, maybe one day but I’m happy with being friends in the meantime”. Don’t do it.