Break up The Grass Is Greener Syndrome

I thought I would put together a thread here to provide some information on and a place to discuss this particular type of break up. I've had relationships end because of it along with a few of my friends. In addition, I've had friends be the ones stricken with this 'syndrome', so I've seen how it plays out from both sides. Hopefully, I can provide a little insight to help those of you going through this type of break up. The more we understand something, the more comfortable with it we become and the less scary it seems. In my opinion, outside of infidelity, this is one of the toughest types of break ups to go through. It seemingly comes out of nowhere, seems to have no rhyme or reason behind it, and it can strike even the best of couples. In your 'run of the mill' break up, there's usually an identifiable reason or set of reasons that led to the split, such as personality conflicts, fighting, different life goals, etc. These breakups are also difficult, but I've always found them a bit easier to cope with because you can identify a cause to the effect. Not so with the grass is greener syndrome. It's like going through a root canal even though your teeth are perfectly healthy. This syndrome usually tends to fall on women within the age range of 20-25. it happens to men, too, but seems to be less often. It usually happens in a long-term relationship when the couple is about to make a much larger commitment to each other, such as an engagement or marriage. It's as if the mixture between the person's young age and the thought of making such a huge commitment almost makes them want to go on the relationship equivalent of the Amish's Rumspringa. Some of the classic symptoms of this are as follows: * Reasons for the break up are contradicting or sound like the dumper is grasping at straws for reasons. As if they are trying to convince themselves of it, too. * Not much warning that something is going on before the actual break. * An extreme change in lifestyle, such as suddenly starting to drink a lot, party a lot and hang around people they normally wouldn't. * Wishy-washiness on the part of the dumper. They love you, but aren't IN love with you. They say that this doesn't mean you two are over forever and maybe someday down the road you'll be together again. At the same time, they'll tell you to move on. * Quickly entering new relationships with people, they aren't very compatible with. One of the biggest problems with these sorts of breakups is that the dumpee will be more likely to want to stick around in the dumper’s life. Due to the dumper's extreme mixed signals and the fact that they'll try harder than usual to keep the dumpee around as a friend, the dumpee will make all sorts of excuses to stay around. They'll say things such as "She's just confused, so we're going to remain friends and see what happens". These sorts of breakups need to be treated like any other kind of breakup. Give the dumper as much space as possible and gracefully bow out of their life.