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Dealing with unwelcome house guests can be tricky. Here's how to get rid of drop-in guests, uninvited guests, and friends who have overstayed their welcome.
Read the full blog post: How To Get Rid of Unwelcome House Guests - https://diannedecor.com/home-entertaining/hostess-tips/how-to-get-rid-of-unwelcome-house-guests/
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0:02
hi it's Lindsay Diane from Diane
0:05
decor.com today let's talk about
0:08
unwelcome houseguests
0:10
figuring out how to deal with unwelcome
0:13
houseguests is always a touchy subject
0:16
you don't want to feel like you're being
0:19
rude to someone but at the same time you
0:22
want your space back to yourself and so
0:25
you have to figure out how to get
0:28
someone to leave your home politely and
0:31
there are actually a few ways that you
0:33
can go about doing this and we're going
0:34
to talk about it all in this video today
0:37
the first thing that you're going to
0:39
need to do before you approach the
0:41
person with any of these methods is to
0:44
make sure that you get on the same page
0:46
with whomever else is in the house so if
0:50
you are hosting that person with someone
0:52
whether it's your spouse or your
0:54
roommate or whoever lives in the house
0:57
with you make sure you have a discreet
0:59
sidebar with them and let them know hey
1:02
I'm trying to get this person to to you
1:05
know get on their way don't engage them
1:07
or start any new stories you know if you
1:10
have someone who likes to chat chat chat
1:12
chat chat let them know what your plan
1:15
is so that they don't re-engage that
1:18
person and they end up staying longer
1:20
it's also better to just have that
1:23
conversation one-on-one quietly so that
1:26
you aren't trying to send secret signals
1:28
from across the room and then be
1:31
misunderstood it's easier to just say
1:33
hey can you help me with something for a
1:34
minute and just speak to them and get on
1:37
the same page okay so there are a few
1:41
different types of unwelcome houseguests
1:44
to break it down easily let's say that
1:48
we have two categories there are the
1:50
guests who are Uninvited these are
1:53
people that have either dropped in or
1:56
piggybacked on the invitation of
1:58
somebody else just kind of showed up
1:59
with another person
2:01
or there are invited guests who have
2:04
just overstayed their welcome so let's
2:07
start by talking about The Uninvited
2:10
house guests and a few different
2:12
scenarios that you may find yourself in
2:14
with these people and how to get out of
2:17
them and get them out of your house
2:18
politely okay so number one is the
2:23
drop-in guest this could be a friend or
2:26
a relative who happened to be in the
2:28
area and called to see if you're home
2:31
even if it was 15 minutes before they
2:34
step foot on your doorstep or maybe they
2:37
didn't call at all and they just showed
2:38
up at the door this is that drop-in
2:41
house guest that was uninvited that
2:43
caught you by surprise
2:45
now this is a very sticky situation and
2:49
you want to handle it delicately you
2:51
don't know if that person has driven a
2:53
long way to surprise you and they really
2:56
thought that you would appreciate the
2:57
surprise or you know what sort of
3:00
situation they're in that they found
3:01
themselves dropping in on someone
3:04
so there are three things that I like to
3:07
do when I have Uninvited drop-in guests
3:11
and here they are my first tip is to
3:14
make sure that they don't get too
3:16
comfortable
3:18
and by this I mean consider where you
3:21
are going to host them in your home once
3:25
you let them in the door
3:26
and this
3:28
this means don't bring anyone to a Cozy
3:33
Common area that's going to make them
3:35
want to stay longer a place where lots
3:37
of other family members might be coming
3:39
in and saying hello and where they may
3:42
be eating snacks or watching TV think
3:45
about areas that are a little bit more
3:47
formal this could be the home office in
3:50
the front of your house or if you have a
3:52
formal sitting sitting room that doesn't
3:54
have a TV and doesn't have you know
3:57
couches that you lay on and recline in
3:59
or it could just be a kitchen table or a
4:03
kitchen counter my next tip is to offer
4:06
them water and only water no cheese and
4:09
crackers or popcorn or some charcuterie
4:13
spread food is just going to make people
4:15
want to stay longer so be polite offer
4:18
water but that's it my next tip is to
4:20
suggest another time to meet that's more
4:23
convenient for you let them know that
4:26
hey I wasn't expecting you I do have
4:28
some other the things that are going on
4:29
today but I'd love to meet up with you
4:31
at this time that time this day the
4:34
other day whenever to let them know that
4:38
you do appreciate them wanting to spend
4:40
time with you but you did have other
4:42
things that were going on and you want
4:45
to stick to those plans this will also
4:48
let them know that their time visiting
4:49
with you is limited and they won't get
4:53
too comfortable in your home the next
4:55
type of Uninvited Guest is the one that
4:58
piggybacks on the invitation of another
5:00
so while you may have invited one person
5:02
another person shows up with them and
5:05
this type of Uninvited Guest can be a
5:07
problem at certain times while many of
5:11
us may just say hey the more the merrier
5:13
there are some situations where this
5:16
just isn't going to work for you let's
5:18
say you decided to set up a private wine
5:20
tasting for everyone and you have a set
5:22
number of guests that you're allowed to
5:24
have that you already prepaid for an
5:27
additional person out of the blue may be
5:29
a problem or you may have decided to
5:32
gather your friends together to tell
5:34
them something private whether it's a
5:38
pregnancy announcement or maybe you're
5:41
moving maybe there's a death in the
5:43
family maybe someone's sick and you
5:46
wanted just your close-knit group of
5:48
friends there and now there's this
5:51
stranger that you haven't met in your
5:53
home and it's kind of put the kibosh on
5:55
all of your plans this is another time
5:57
when an Uninvited Guest that comes along
5:59
with someone else may just be a problem
6:02
so there are two ways to handle this you
6:05
can say hey the more the merrier and
6:08
invite them and welcome them into your
6:10
home for the entire event but if you're
6:13
going to do this you should pull your
6:16
invited guest aside and let them know
6:19
hey I wasn't expecting this person in
6:22
the future please let me know if you
6:24
intend on bringing someone extra I want
6:26
to make sure that I can accom dominate
6:28
them comfortably the second option is to
6:32
let them stay for like a cocktail hour
6:35
but not for the entire dinner if you
6:39
just don't have the chairs or you don't
6:41
have the space or you don't have enough
6:42
food for someone it's better for you to
6:45
say hey you know pull your friend aside
6:48
and say hey I wasn't expecting this
6:50
person you guys can stay for the
6:52
appetizers and cocktail or if you want
6:54
to come back for desserts later on but I
6:56
have a limited amount of people or space
6:58
or whatever it is for your dinner okay
7:02
now let's talk about an invited guest
7:04
that stays way too long way longer than
7:08
any other guest the party has been over
7:10
for 30 minutes and this person is still
7:13
on your sofa
7:14
start by giving them a Time warning
7:16
thank them for stopping by say hey I'm
7:20
so glad you were able to make it
7:22
and then let them know that you have
7:24
other plans for the day and ask them
7:27
what their plans are for the day
7:30
so you would say something like hey I've
7:33
got
7:34
um I've got to bring my daughter to her
7:37
music lesson in about an hour what are
7:39
you doing for the rest of the day the
7:41
question part of this approach is really
7:43
important you want to redirect that
7:45
person's attention out of your home and
7:50
onto other things outside of your house
7:53
if they say they have nothing going on
7:55
suggest something for them to do
7:59
this person may be fishing for an
8:02
invitation to tag along with you I you
8:05
know they may want be perfectly happy
8:07
running errands with you or going to
8:09
your daughter's music lesson and you
8:11
don't want them to come with you so make
8:13
sure that you suggest something for them
8:15
to do say have you checked out this park
8:18
hey this movie just released in the
8:21
cinema around the corner this that or
8:23
the other anything suggest anything that
8:26
is outside of your house and that
8:27
doesn't involve you if it's the evening
8:29
time this is really easy you can just
8:32
say you're going to bed but during the
8:34
day you may want to suggest another
8:36
activity for them after about five
8:38
minutes say hey it was good catching up
8:41
with you let me get your things
8:44
and gather their items and walk to the
8:47
front door whether you're picking up
8:49
their jacket handing them your purse you
8:52
want to stand up and walk towards the
8:54
door with their things
8:57
so many people make an attempt at this I
9:00
know that it feels
9:02
harsh
9:03
but if you just wait for them to get up
9:07
and you wait for them to say all right
9:09
well I guess I'd better go
9:11
it's probably not going to happen if
9:13
that person has been lingering longer
9:15
than all the rest of the guests and
9:17
they're not picking up on these subtle
9:19
social cues so you need to be crystal
9:23
clear and intentional
9:26
and you have to stand up gather their
9:29
things and walk them to the door they're
9:31
not going to sit there in the chair
9:34
while you're holding your their things
9:36
at the door they're just not there's no
9:39
confusing that signal so they will get
9:43
up and follow you out now I know that
9:46
direct approach is not for everyone and
9:48
if you're thinking Lindsay there's no
9:50
way I could do that there's just no way
9:52
that's okay there are some indirect
9:54
approaches to help get somebody moved on
9:57
out of your house but they may not be
9:59
quite as effective as the direct
10:00
approach but here they are let the
10:03
person know that you have some things
10:04
that you just want to get done today
10:06
and let them be the most disruptive of
10:09
things so vacuuming mopping sweeping
10:15
laundry things that are gonna force you
10:18
to move around furniture and make them
10:20
get up and find a new space and all that
10:22
sort of thing start doing the chores
10:25
um it's it's really uncomfortable
10:27
watching other people do chores for many
10:29
people so they may find that as the
10:33
right time to go ahead and excuse
10:34
themselves and leave the only potential
10:36
snag with this plan is that you know
10:38
sometimes if people are lonely and they
10:41
just want the company
10:42
chores may not deter them at all they
10:46
may sit there and wait for you to be
10:47
done or they may offer to help and have
10:51
fun helping you with mundane tasks like
10:53
that so this indirect approach might not
10:56
work on everyone the second indirect
10:59
approach is to let them know that you
11:02
have a commitment outside of the house
11:03
and that you need to leave the house
11:05
surely you can give them a Time morning
11:07
just as you would in the direct approach
11:09
so then hey in five minutes I really
11:11
gotta start heading out
11:14
and put on your shoes if you have to let
11:18
them know and give them all those social
11:20
cues that it's time for them to get
11:23
going avoid sharing too many details
11:25
because again they may invite themselves
11:27
along with you and then you're going to
11:28
be put in another awkward situation so
11:31
instead really just start to get your
11:33
things together
11:35
basically stop entertaining them stop
11:37
sitting there and listening to stories
11:39
and talking and go about doing things
11:42
independently
11:44
a person left sitting on the couch again
11:46
it's kind of an awkward thing especially
11:48
if you leave them alone in a room while
11:50
you're changing or whatever you know
11:54
it's a situation where the guest is
11:57
going to start to feel uncomfortable and
12:00
they will realize that it's time to go
12:02
ahead and excuse themselves you can also
12:05
give them a gentle reminder that hey
12:08
next time let me know in advance when
12:10
you're in town and I'll make sure that I
12:13
have time to hang out longer the next
12:16
type of unwelcome house guest is the
12:19
overnight guest who has been invited but
12:22
keeps adding days to their stay
12:25
now while I have not personally had to
12:28
deal with this I do know a lot of people
12:31
that have been put in this situation and
12:33
it's awful no one likes to be thrown off
12:36
of their daily routine for an
12:38
undetermined amount of time it's really
12:40
inconvenient and it's a hard thing to
12:44
approach somebody about and say hey can
12:46
you find someplace else to sleep you
12:48
know
12:49
but here are some suggestions that I
12:52
crowdsourced from other people and
12:55
things that they would do in this
12:56
situation first the direct approach just
12:59
flat lay it out for them say hey it was
13:04
great having you here but I can only
13:06
host you for one more night if they're
13:09
an out of town guest give them a few
13:11
local hotel options and in the morning
13:14
offer them a ride this will help remind
13:18
them that they are not welcome to stay
13:20
there another night and that they need
13:22
to make accommodations elsewhere now
13:25
here are a few indirect approaches I'm
13:29
going to tell you these are suggestions
13:30
that I have gotten from friends and
13:34
family
13:35
frankly I'm a direct approach kind of
13:37
person but these are pretty funny and
13:39
they may work for you the first one is
13:42
to stop making meals for them and stop
13:46
eating together this will help your
13:48
unwelcome house guests know that you are
13:51
trying to get back to your own
13:53
individual routine without them you can
13:56
also do other things to make their stay
13:58
inconvenient like changing the Wi-Fi
14:01
password stop refilling the toiletries
14:03
in their bathroom or ask them for money
14:07
to help chip in with expenses another
14:10
thing that you should do is get back to
14:13
your normal routine stop tiptoeing
14:15
around people that maybe sleep things
14:19
like that if you've been extra courteous
14:21
about not disturbing someone because
14:23
they are guests in your home and you no
14:25
longer wish for them to be a guest in
14:27
your home just get back to your normal
14:28
routine and stop tiptoeing around them
14:31
that little bit of inconvenience may
14:34
also incur urge them to get on their way
14:37
so those are a few ways to tackle
14:40
unwelcome house guests I hope you found
14:42
some tips in this video that will help
14:44
you the next time you find yourself in
14:46
this situation don't forget to visit me
14:48
at Diane decor.com I've got lots more
14:50
posts about home entertaining and a
14:52
house guest over there thank you so much
14:54
for watching and I'll see you next time
14:56
bye-bye
14:58
foreign
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