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Outperform Rivals with Unbeatable Relationship Longevity: Suzanne Taylor King & David George Brooke
Apr 18, 2024
Outperform Rivals with Unbeatable Relationship Longevity: Suzanne Taylor King & David George Brooke
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0:00
Well, good morning to everybody or good afternoon or good day or wherever you are
0:06
It's David George Brooke, that gratitude guy, along with my good friend, Suzanne Taylor King
0:10
the entrepreneur's secret weapon for this week's topic and our discussion. And this week's topic is outperform rivals with unbeatable relationship longevity
0:22
It's kind of a mouthful, mouthful. But I think it's a good topic for this week because of the fact we talked about
0:30
relationships and whether you and I are just talking offline about email, phone, text
0:34
voicemails, notes in the mail, whatever it might be, everything that's changed so much
0:39
but how you have unbeatable relationship longevity. So Suzanne, a good day to you. How's everything
0:45
with you? Good, good. I was thinking about what's my, what's my longest client relationship
0:54
And it goes out to my realtor client, Chris Bate, who he
1:00
a patient when I was a dental hygienist, you know, 15 years ago. And he was my patient for 15 years
1:09
So we've known each other a long, long time. And he had hired numerous coaches through the real estate
1:17
industry and wasn't getting the results that he wanted and reached out to me. And it's been more
1:23
than three years that he's been my client. So if we talk about unbeatable relationship longevity
1:30
three big word there. What do you think using him as an example
1:33
what do you think was the key that that's worked so well for so long? Well, I think evolving the relationship
1:41
So at first he needed structure and habits and then kind of letting the relationship evolve
1:50
to now it's radical accountability and personal development. And that's not what it started out as
2:00
But it evolved into that organically. And, you know, I think that was my willingness to see where the relationship ended up
2:13
And also being open to not doing just a program with somebody like not, you know, being more to a client and just a nine-step program
2:27
Yeah. And how would you say, and that's just using, staying with him for a second, how do the connection and the relationship evolve over time
2:36
Because, again, we were just saying offline, the emails and spam and new rules and things like that
2:40
But in terms of just the types of pieces that made the relationship work, how was that evolved
2:47
We had some great conversations when he was my patient and knowing his wife and his kids
2:55
he invited me to my first mastermind group in I want to say
3:06
what year was it 97 and it was at morning
3:16
before we're like coffee and what? What? I don't want to do that
3:24
And he's like, no, no, no, you'll get a lot out of it. And being in that started the thinking grow rich reading at that point
3:38
And I think again, back to just the term relationship and how that's evolved
3:44
And one of the things I want to make sure we touch on is just we were talking about email
3:47
But I think also I get very sensitive about the term. And I think a lot of us do
3:52
but I'm sensitive about the term ghosting. And used, I think it really originally was used in relationships and people wouldn't get back
4:01
They'd go on a date, wouldn't get back to people or things like this. But I think it's expanded to the business world where I've said, I'd love your thoughts on this
4:09
I just find this interesting. I try to be very careful with the emails I send out and not these big blanket ones and a bunch of ones to be a form of spam in many ways
4:18
But as I've said, and I'm just, again, I love your thoughts on this. I'll send out what I consider to be 10 quote unquote average emails
4:26
Suzanne, are we meeting on Friday? Here's my Zoom link. Okay, great. Sounds good
4:31
Somebody else. Let me know if you want to get two gratitude journals. Okay, another one
4:35
Are you still interested in having a speaker for your event? I call those just average communication emails
4:41
As a typical rule, I get responses from three of ten. Oh, I think you're pretty good
4:48
I know. And I think that's so sad. So any thoughts? how we could change that
4:53
I don't know. You know, that is one of the things that stumped me
4:58
and I'm not talking to emails from my, you know, CRM. These are like personal
5:03
I'm typing them out. And I don't know. I sent three of them last week
5:11
And I thought there was massive value in the email plus a couple questions like, what about this and what about that
5:18
one was you know when's the next time we're getting together it's very mutual relationship
5:29
no response yeah and sometimes you i think it's oh are my emails not sending
5:36
and i and i email me let me make sure this is working right i remember sending like a card or something
5:47
to back to speaking of ghosting back to a girlfriend or something. It was something around breaking up or it was something that wasn't real positive
5:54
And I said, well, maybe the guy didn't deliver the mail. And my friend goes, oh, no, she got the card
5:59
She just pretended she didn't. Yeah, they maybe didn't deliver the mail
6:03
But I think, but I do find it interesting because it goes back to something, this baffling thing
6:08
I think for being on the planet a few decades, is I've said for years
6:13
my biggest question around life off topic a bit was I don't understand what
6:17
people don't take better care of themselves. So I present that question to different people
6:21
and I'm sure I have to you as well. And people have a lot of things, well, you know, they're not
6:25
as dedicated and they're lazy or fast food is easier than making a healthy dinner and, you know
6:31
and then exercise is hard, takes time, whatever it might be. So kind of the same way I've asked people
6:37
just like I asked you, 10 average emails back to these relationships. And you said, I said
6:44
I get three back and you said, that's pretty good. So I've asked people, Why do you think that's the case
6:49
And again, I'd love your thoughts on this. The thing that I hear the most often is people are overwhelmed
6:55
And it's just there's just too much stuff. What is it? 70 or 80,000 impressions we get every single day from ads or, you know, the newspaper radio, whatever it might be
7:04
Yeah, you got email notifications, the phone ringing, your desktop alerts. And, you know, somebody, one of my clients said
7:17
get 400 emails a day. I'm like, what are you doing? Yeah, exactly. Why are you subscribed to that
7:23
much? To that much stuff. Exactly. So what do you think to try to be positive, see the glass
7:30
half full here, would be ways to improve that three out of ten? Increase the value of the relationship
7:38
and deepen the relationship. I think, you know, I have certain people that if I email them, they respond immediately
7:50
I have other people who if I text them they get right back to me or I don know I think it improving the quality and not maybe being a little less accessible
8:09
We talked about that before being approachable but not accessible. So I just had that conversation this morning with a client who was waiting for three prospects
8:22
to get back to him. They all said yes. They all signed off on their proposal
8:30
but nobody's paid their invoice yet and booked their onboarding call. Right
8:35
And he was like, what do I do? What do I do? And I said, you do nothing
8:40
If you're worried about what you do, that means you don't have enough prospects in the pipeline
8:45
That's a good point. And I think that's the message for me
8:50
is that don't worry about the one that didn't answer you, just say next. Next. Yeah. And I think I'll give a shout out to, and I'm trying
9:00
to think what the second thing was, I'd give a shout out to Jeff Goldberg, who I met with you
9:04
who had spoken at one of your events. And he said something, he said two or three things
9:09
and I wish I could remember all of them, but I know for sure one of them was put your, either your
9:15
name or the person's name, I forget it is in the subject line, which was really a tricky little way to do
9:21
that and was it the person's was it the was it the name of the person you were emailing put their name
9:27
or is it your name in the subject line i can't remember what you're there well see you can you can mass
9:36
do that with a CRM right right but i think it was because and i guess the reason if you think about
9:43
maybe maybe my name like from susan taylor king could be that because to me when you see the box the typical
9:50
email box, like I'm an Outlook box, and you'll see the type, you'll see the from and you'll see
9:57
the subject. And you don't get to see anything else. And so I'm just like a lot of people, delete
10:02
delete, delete, delete. In fact, sometimes I'm deleting so fast, we've all deleted things
10:05
want to want to, but it's just you want to get rid of all this stuff and to keep your mailbox
10:10
kind of clean. But so if it's the subject line, that would be, and he might have said like something
10:18
like I want to get back to you on something that's in the subject line and not in the body of the email
10:23
I think that was maybe one of the other things too. Or Suzanne had a question for you in the subject line because the from is obviously our name and from David or from Suzanne or whatever
10:35
And then the subject line is I think where he, I just thought I remember taking notes on that
10:40
I thought that was really clever. Anything you could do to try to increase it. Here's the thing that gets me about it that I've always said
10:46
I've used the same example for probably 45 years. If I send somebody an email and said, you know, I told you I owe you that money
10:54
So I have the $5,000. It's actually in cash. And I just wanted to find out is three o'clock better or four o'clock better to stop by your house and deliver it
11:02
I know those emails don't get lost. People get back to those people
11:06
Three o'clock works better for me. I will be there. See, I'll grab you a latte and break
11:10
I mean, because so it's always, it always comes down. I try not to get insulted, but it always comes down to how important it is for the person
11:16
is that's what the key to me there's certain people if they call me
11:25
I answer the phone because anything they have is important to me
11:32
well that's a valued connection valued relationship I was walking my dog yesterday after
11:40
and listening to music with my earbuds and I hear the phone rang and it tells me who it is right and it says answer it right yes that's right
11:54
yes yes and it was a 10 minute or less call and i felt honored that that person called me hey i just
12:06
need your advice for a second oh how nice awesome i'm happy to be a value to people like that who are
12:14
of value to me. Well, that's a real relationship. Yes. Somebody who sends me a DM on Facebook and says, hey, what do you think about blah, blah, blah
12:28
Yeah, I'm in no hurry to get back to you. Yeah, exactly. Well, and that's a case where, of course, social media has taken it so far the other direction
12:37
Like you said, I'm in no hurry. I mean, excuse me, I see those things sometimes
12:41
And honestly, the same thing with LinkedIn a lot of times. It's just I just don't have time for this
12:45
And you just give it a quick glance and so forth. But, you know, also back to relationships, I mentioned to you
12:52
and I could use a lot of different examples, but I just think this whole idea of the planting of the tree
12:58
the bamboo tree, and you water it for 10 years, and then in year 10, it grows 10 feet
13:03
You know, but it doesn't grow for the first nine or 10 years. I remember hearing that. I guess that's what the bamboo is
13:08
But I just mentioned you offline, this guy's name is John Hamer
13:11
is going to do a story in this local paper. and I thought, I was to go back and trace the dots backwards, like Steve Jobs said in his
13:19
famous speech. I mean, it goes back. It would go for having this article being written, it would go back 15 years when I first met him
13:28
at the Columbia Tower Club and then this happened and that happened, you know, and all the pieces
13:32
And I think that's why it's important. And maybe this is one of the more important messages that we could give on this video is don't get discouraged
13:42
keep investing in people and keep building relationships. You don't, it's like planting all those seeds, another one here
13:48
you don't know what seeds you're going to grow, but you've got to keep planning because it's easy to get discouraged
13:54
It is. And I think when you're building, you know, your inner circle relationships
14:00
you know, 20, 30, 50 people max, and I think the statistics, you can remember 100 people
14:10
And that means, remember their name, their face, and possibly what they do for a living
14:18
So I could have 100 people in my network, anyone outside of that 100 follower or a family
14:29
But then I can't refer to 100 different people because I don't know who their ideal client is
14:37
and what they do for a living and like the intricacies of it
14:42
I have to pick 10 or 20 of those people and they need to be really high quality
14:49
People I would answer the phone when they call as long as I wasn't with a paying client
14:55
you know. And I think a lot of people don't look at it
15:00
They're expecting referrals from people who don't know you that well. Yeah
15:05
And not only do you have to know me, but you have to know what kind of guarantee
15:12
do I put in place with my client? Oh, look, you pay Sue for three months of coaching and you decide on the goal at the beginning
15:20
of the three months. She keeps working with you until you do
15:24
She might be a little more expensive than someone else because of her experience, but
15:29
it's not going to leave you in the dust when the three month to the day, Mark, comes out
15:35
Right? Exactly. But people have to know me to know that. and that takes time
15:43
Yeah, it sure does. Sure does. And it's just, and I was thinking, I think I did a video
15:48
I do a lot of them recently on patience as a virtue And we heard these things for years But you know we in such an impatient society And I even remember I old enough to remember and I guess you are too when the internet
16:02
then the pictures would go a line at a time, you know, because it was just the way the internet
16:05
was before it got high speed or whatever. And can this picture get here and it just come one
16:10
different line? You know, finally you'd see the full picture. But as I was talking to somebody once
16:15
and they said, the speed of the internet and all this kind of stuff continues to grow, but it's kind of
16:19
hit a place where it can't move anymore. And I said, what do you mean? And they said, well
16:23
what's quicker than instant? And it's true. And it's just there. Everything just pops up and
16:28
there's your face and there's the picture or whatever it might be. So, but people are just so
16:34
you get like a nanosecond to make that decision like we were saying on email
16:38
whether you're going to delete it or respond to it or whatever you're going to do. And so
16:41
so let me let me ask your thoughts on this. Coming back to people, and I do understand this
16:47
people are overwhelmed. So for the overwhelmed people out there, what thoughts do you have around for those that do want to make a change
16:56
It's like you and I have talked about keeping our weight in check and different things. And so we need to be disciplined and have a checklist and a to-do list and write your gratitude journal, drink your water, whatever it might be
17:08
What thoughts do you have for the people that are overwhelmed that really would like to be not so overwhelmed by this that, like you said
17:14
somebody 200 emails in their inbox or whatever. What thoughts do you have around maybe trying to get them to have a little better mindset
17:22
There was two things that really switched it for me because I was definitely one of those people
17:27
who just responded to everything whenever it was happening. And I read a book years ago, years, years ago called Deep Work by Cal Newport
17:40
which basically was about focus and flow. able to deeply concentrate on single task until that task was done
17:52
And I was like, oh. And the answer, able to learn like that
18:01
not being digitally distracted. And his next book was called digital capitalism
18:10
And it's a little extreme, digital minimalism. But some of the principles are really, really valid
18:20
You know, like right now we're having this conversation. I don't have notifications on
18:24
My phone's turned over so I can't see it if it lights up
18:29
Because I know, like even out of my peripheral vision, if my phone lit up on my desk, I might, you know
18:38
Yeah. Just that micro moment of distraction. Mm-hmm. changes your brain and the way you're thinking and the way you're able to connect with another person
18:51
So I think number one, when you're with someone else, keep your phone in your purse or not even on the table if you're meeting somebody for coffee
19:05
Yeah. Because I've been with other people, my phone's in my purse and their phones on the table
19:11
And it distracts me. And then worse yet, I've been with friends
19:18
and I'm not sure I'm using the right word friend. Maybe it's more of an acquaintance. They're talking to you and then zip, zip
19:24
Yeah, so how's Dennis? Is everything, you know, and they're looking, I go
19:29
what are you doing? We're having coffee here. And they're looking at their phone
19:34
And I just, I'm not going to go around my little switch like the teacher and hit their knuckles
19:39
But I'll tell you, it makes me not want to have coffee with them again. because it's just rude
19:44
You don't feel important. Exactly. And this is the in-person thing and so forth
19:49
In fact, I've noticed in restaurants I've gone to too many times, it's funny, it appears
19:54
to be a husband and wife, they're having dinner, and they're both on their phones. And they're not even talking to each other
19:59
It just cracks me up and they're both looking at their phone. It's like, wow, what's the point and stuff
20:04
No, but it's... What is the point? If... But it's interesting, though, back to this overwhelmed thing
20:10
one of the things that I'm a proponent of. Now, when you said that the phone can, see, my phone's right there, but I should turn it over, which I just did, just to make sure, which is really smart
20:19
But at the same time, you think about dopamine hits is what these things are. And people get, oh, I got buzz, I got this
20:25
But I said, some gal the other day, I said, well, I have this power hour I do every morning
20:30
So dopamine hits can be good, too, as opposed to bad. And I said something about, well, the first thing I do is get up, get up, make my bed
20:39
And she goes, oh, dopamine hit. And I went, yeah, make my bed. I've already accomplished something, you know, go in and drink my quart of water, you know
20:46
turn on the latte machine, jump in the shower, come back, you know, do my stretching
20:50
do my meditation, write in the gratitude journal, you know, make my coffee, and then turn on
20:55
the laptop, you know, or look at the phone or whatever. And so it can be a good thing
20:59
But I think sometimes people are looking for at least thoughts. Maybe, I don't like the word advice, but maybe thoughts around how to not feel so overwhelmed
21:08
And I know I happen to be, I've always shown this to you many times
21:12
my little half sheet of paper is my day. And then sometimes I'll rewrite it. And I have other notes and things
21:17
But I had a day of the day where I have this, I didn't want to forget something
21:21
So I had this little small pad. And I must have had about five or six of those pieces of paper
21:27
And this was scribbled on and two or three other things. And I just thought, I just can't take this
21:32
And this is just we need to start over again. So I. Well, yeah, I do Post-it notes
21:37
And post-it notes, similar things, because you don't want to forget it. But what I did, which was, which again, seems so simplistic, but I did this and I started
21:45
I just took a brand new piece of paper, started pulling all the post-it notes, all the little ones
21:49
and put that, no, that's not as important, put that at the bottom. This one's more important. Put that at the top and make a fresh new to-do list for the day
21:56
And I can't tell you how much better I felt because it wasn't all floating around in my head
22:00
And I just wonder if that type of thing might help people that have that sense of overwhelm
22:04
I think it does. I mean, I think it was David, David Allen who's getting things done
22:12
And before, you know, digital note taking, he recommended having a notebook, you know, with three or four lists in it
22:24
You have your work list, your home list, and your self-list. And you just get it all out of your head, everything you want to do, everything you want to accomplish
22:35
And that's good unless you have, if you have, I have four projects I'm working on right now
22:43
So there's a list for each project and then taking the list and putting it in order
22:49
Exactly. And what can I get rid of? And I know it really hit me when I read another book about getting to the next level that you have to get rid of 80% of what you're currently doing
23:03
if you want the 20% to be successful. And I was like, yeah, I know
23:07
Gosh, how do you do that? I know. And it's funny, too, like when you said for the three lists
23:13
the personal, professional, the cell phone, or whatever it was, homeless, is you have
23:17
you do this download of all the stuff from you. Because it's hard to, it's hard to go to sleep at night
23:23
and then I'll wake up and think, well, I want to sleep for another half hour, but then I'd sometimes just get out of bed
23:27
because I start thinking about too many things. But another thing that really, another thing that really helped me
23:31
did it last night is that same little small, pad. I have one of those by my bed
23:36
Yes. Stuff that I know I don't want to forget this and I'll write it down and I'll, I'm so glad
23:40
it did in the morning and that can be helpful too so you can sleep better because you're not
23:44
thinking, then you spend half the time thinking I don't want to forget that and it let me
23:48
get hard to go to sleep or get back to sleep or whatever In fact today I was thinking to off topic but how it so funny it about woke up about 4 went to the bathroom and then I trying to get back to sleep or whatever In fact today I was thinking off topic but how it so funny it woke up about 4 went to the bathroom and then I trying to get back to sleep and I
23:59
kind of awake. And then I finally get back to sleep and then I wake up at 630 and I'm just exhausted
24:04
I go, what was the difference between 430 and 630? Is that one of those circadian rhythm cycles or
24:11
somethings? It was just, oh, man, sometimes. Yeah, I should have gotten up at 430. I felt better
24:18
Exactly. And start getting done at things, too. So anyway, but getting back to the relationship
24:24
So what are their thoughts? Again, I don't like the advice word, but outperform rivals with unbeatable relationship longevity to keep those relationships going
24:35
Another thing just pops into my mind. Any of the thoughts you have, I still have occasionally, not often, but occasionally have sent handwritten thank you notes, which I still think
24:45
I don't know if that ever, I know there's a thing called the post office. and there's a little thing called a stamp
24:50
It's pretty gone the way of a lot of things. But I don't know if that ever goes out of style
24:57
No, I think it's super classy. I think, yeah, I think when I send a thank you note
25:04
to somebody who's been on my podcast with a $5 Starbucks card that says
25:11
thanks a latte, you know. And have a coffee on me. Thank you for my show
25:18
Look forward to continuing the conversation. Yeah. Yeah. And I just think I had somebody reach out to me that got one and said, wow, it was really, really cool
25:32
My wife stole the gift card, but thanks for the note, you know
25:38
And I said, happy to make your wife happy for you. You know
25:43
And I just think it's a little something that most people don't do
25:48
And it's funny, I have this connection who's a really famous business coach
25:55
And he has about 600 coaches on his team, on his consulting team
26:04
And he's really, really brilliant. He's in his 80s. And he reached out after a relationship post of mine on social media
26:14
He follows me on Facebook. And he said, I have a great idea for you
26:19
Handwritten notes. Deep in those relationships. And he said, I send out a handwritten note at least once a year to valued connections and a
26:35
birthday card to those values connections. And I was like, wow, I've never been good birthday cards
26:44
So how can I get that into a system? Mm-hmm. Yeah. You know, it's interesting, in terms of recognition, again, we're talking about
26:53
relationships and the longevity of them. I got to give a shout out to Nordstrom where they did a great
27:00
job in recognition once a month they had. And you said he's this 80-year-old guy sends out the card and then the
27:06
birthday card. And we're just being recognized. And we want to be, you and I've talked about the last
27:09
couple of days about ways that you want to be appreciated and recognized and so forth. And so they had a
27:15
they did something that I just think is worth saying, and then we'll wrap up in about five minutes
27:20
I just thought this was spectacular. They'd have a monthly thing called the recognition meeting
27:24
I mean, that was the name of the meeting. And all the management teams from all the stores, so there'd be like 10 or 12 stores in the Seattle area
27:30
It would all come to one of the hotels in downtown Seattle for the meeting. And so you'd all sit with your stores together
27:36
And there's the store manager. I'm up front. And my HR person, not secretary, admin
27:42
And the HR person sat with me. And then all the managers of all the departments. So let me give all these awards
27:47
But what they did, which was just so amazing to me, is you'd be called up front
27:52
And so now the award for the Department of the Month from the Northgate store with David Brooke is Suzanne Taylor King from point of view
28:00
And so you'd come up to the thing. And so then I would talk about you in front of the group
28:04
Well, Suzanne has been running my POV department for two or three years, had a spectacular month
28:09
And I'd go through and she had the sales and she increased her sales and she cut her markdowns
28:13
And she had more inventory control was under unbelievable. Her markdowns were great
28:18
Go up for this. And then I have a card. And it would say all the things I just set on the card on the outside
28:25
And then I would say this in front of all the Norse and family sitting in the front
28:29
And so everybody, so here's your card and give me a hug. And so thanks to Suzanne Taylor King, everybody would clap
28:36
And you got all this press in front of these people. You go back to your shop. You open up the card
28:41
Here's a nice greeting card. you're the best with all the stats on it and a $100 bill
28:46
Amazing. They've covered everything. The money, the card, the recognition in front of the family
28:53
And it's like I never forgot that. I thought this is just genius because you're trying to figure out as many ways as you can to reach somebody and show them in this case appreciation
29:02
And isn't that what we're talking about when we're talking about relationships and the longevity of same is to make sure they understand how much we appreciate them
29:10
Yeah, that's something I started doing. within my Facebook community is whoever the most active member of the month was that was
29:21
not me or like one of the regulars. Like some newer standout person who really hosted a lot or shared a lot or and kind of
29:37
making a post that featured them. Like, well, the feedback from that was amazing because people don't think that we're actually making a difference
29:49
Exactly. Exactly. You know that in different ways. So, well, as we wrap up any final sort of thoughts, and I'm going to go back to outperform rivals with unbeatable relationship longevity
30:01
Any final thoughts for the viewing and listening? Make them intentional. Mm-hmm
30:06
And realize that you only have room for 20. 20 or 30 really close relationships
30:14
Yeah. And then the next step out, and I'm talking business relationship
30:20
the inner circle, and then another 50 to 100 in that everyone else is a follower or a fan
30:30
Yeah. Yeah. And when you really think about that, that you can't be friends with everybody
30:37
Right. can't be can't have our relationship with everybody you'd never get any work done exactly that
30:46
that is something really powerful to remember well said and i i would close on my end with just
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some of the old lines about don't get discouraged you know they say that the the guy that was
30:57
digging for gold comes up short sometimes five inches until the vein of gold and the one that
31:02
I love is the average salesman it takes four sales calls to make a sale for the average
31:08
salesman, but the average salesman gets discouraged at two calls, you know. And so you're never
31:13
going to get there. So you always have to make that one more effort that send that one more email
31:17
make that one more call, send that one more card and don't get discouraged because it is easy to get
31:22
discouraged. But so many times you look back on things, again, as Steve Jobs says, connecting
31:27
the dots of your life backwards, you look back and you see, I use that example of the Mercer Island
31:33
reporter. You look back and, oh, so that's how it works. So keep putting one foot in front
31:37
and the other and keep pushing forward and it'll always pay off in the long run. So
31:42
SDK, the entrepreneur's secret weapon. Thank you so much. I'm David George Brooke
31:46
that gratitude guy, and we'll see you next week. Thanks for tuning in. Bye-bye
#Self-Help & Motivational