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We are completely social animals
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Our identity is formed in our interactions with other people, of how other people look at us and how other people react to us
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We have to understand that nonverbal communication and nonverbal cues play an enormous role in our social life. A lot of human communication is nonverbal
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You're just not aware of it. There are certain nonverbal cues that indicate strength and
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power and leadership. Sitting up tall, making everybody look at you, being the center of
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attention. That kind of body language is incredibly powerful. There are other kinds of body language
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that are very weak. Someone's constantly stroking themselves, stroking their hair. indicates insecurity. Anybody can lie about themselves with words. They can say anything
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Body language, nonverbal communication, it is almost impossible to lie. I personally, I feel uncomfortable around conflict. But conflict is useful. The question is how do you
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deal with conflict most effectively What I found is that there three big barriers that we can actually overcome to have more effective arguments more effective conversations The number one thing to focus on identity
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What are the core values, the core beliefs that are feeling threatened inside of you
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as you're having that conversation with the other side? The moment your identity gets hooked in these conflicts
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all of a sudden your emotions become a hundred times more powerful. You need to know who you are and what you stand for
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The more you understand who you are, the more you can try to get your purpose met and stay balanced
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even when the other threatens those core values and beliefs. Two, appreciation
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When you're in the midst of the conflict, don't talk. Take the first 10 minutes consciously to simply listen to the other side
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Once you truly understand and see the value in their perspective, let them know, I hear where you're coming from, and you know what
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That makes sense. Third, affiliation. What's the emotional connection like between you and the other side
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Turn that other person from an adversary into a partner. So it's no longer me versus you, but the two of us facing the same shared problem
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Now you put these three things into practice. It can transform your relationships and ultimately our world
