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if you've ever found yourself
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overanalyzing someone's words wondering
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whether they really care this video is
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for you because when someone says this
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one thing it might just mean they're
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emotionally attached in a way they don't
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even realize and to understand why we
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have to turn to one of the deepest
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thinkers on love Eric from his message
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real love isn't about finding the right
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person it's about being the right person
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and recognizing the signals of
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attachment that come from fear not just
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affection the subtle signal of emotional
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attachment so what do emotionally
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attached people say almost without
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realizing it they say things like "I
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don't know why I care this much i
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shouldn't be feeling this right this
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wasn't supposed to happen and most
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importantly you don't even realize what
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you do to me these aren't confessions of
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control or manipulation they're
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confessions of internal conflict the
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person is admitting they're affected by
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you that they're emotionally entangled
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and often they're afraid of what that
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means from core insight love is an act
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not a feeling eric from in the art of
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loving argued that love is not something
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that just happens it's not a spontaneous
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emotion we fall into it's a discipline a
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practice a choice he said "Love is the
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active concern for the life and growth
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another." So when someone is emotionally
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attached but afraid to admit it they're
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caught between two instincts the pull of
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feeling something real the fear of
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losing control being vulnerable and
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possibly being hurt their words reveal
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this tension they're trying to stay
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logical to keep distance but the
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attachment leaks out anyway emotional
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attachment versus emotional availability
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from also taught that most people
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confuse emotional attachment with love
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attachment is need-based love is freedom
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based attachment says "I need you to be
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okay." Love says "I want you to grow."
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Even if that means without me so when
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someone says something like "You don't
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know what you do to me," it's not always
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a healthy sign it can reveal that they
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haven't yet learned how to love maturely
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from believed that to truly love one
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must develop the capacity for
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responsibility respect knowledge cr
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without these emotional attachment
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becomes possession and possession often
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leads to suffering how to recognize
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mature love so what does mature love
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sound like it sounds like I care about
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you and I want you to be happy let's
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grow through this together i want to
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understand you better
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these aren't dramatic they're consistent
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framm said "The real work of love begins
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after the spark when it becomes about
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building not chasing." He wrote "To love
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someone is not just a strong feeling it
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is a decision a judgment a
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promise." What to do if you hear that
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phrase so when someone says "You don't
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know what you do to me." What do you do
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you pause you don't rush to answer you
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don't take it as validation or warning
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you listen ask yourself is this person
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self-aware are they able to communicate
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calmly do they respect my boundaries
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because someone can be emotionally
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attached and emotionally unavailable at
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the same time and that combination leads
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to confusion from said "The path to love
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starts with self-love not narcissism but
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self-respect knowing your value having
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the strength to walk away from chaos and
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the courage to build connection slowly
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what love really asks of us." From work
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reminds us "Love isn't something we fall
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into it's something we learn how to
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give." When someone is emotionally
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attached but still afraid that's not the
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end it might be the beginning but only
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if both people are willing to grow to
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face their fears to choose understanding
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over intensity so the next time someone
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says something like "You don't even
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realize what you do to me." Don't panic
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smile gently and remember it's not just
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about how deeply they feel it's about
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how bravely they love because emotional
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attachment is the spark but only
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emotional maturity can build the fire if
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this message hit home you're not alone
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we're all learning how to love better
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through psychology through philosophy
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through practice so keep growing keep
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feeling and keep showing up for the kind
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of love that makes you better not
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smaller don't forget to like share and
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subscribe for more wisdom from great
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minds like From Yung and Rilki until
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next time take care of your
