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Ending a relationship is always a huge decision to make
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A breakup will cause pain and hurt and can lead to big changes in your life and the lives of others
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Sometimes you just don't know if it's the right thing to do. But most of the time, these decisions will involve a lot of confusion and what ifs
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You'll never be sure if you pick the right road. It's easy to keep putting the decisions off, burying your head in the sand
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and hoping that things will just magically sort themselves out. But don't panic
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Just because you're thinking about breaking up with someone doesn't mean that your relationship is necessarily doing to end
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So how do you know what the right thing to do is? Should you stay in your relationship or end things
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Unfortunately, there's no easy answer to this one. Only you will know what's right for you
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Hi, I'm Jessica from a conscious rethink and in this video will be asking you some questions
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to help you figure out what your next step should be. Are you happy
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This one is pretty fundamental. Of course, your happiness should never depend on your relationship status
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Happiness has to come from within and depends on all kinds of things that have nothing to do with your partner
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But if there's something not right in your relationship, it can be hard to feel happy with your life
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If you've got a nagging feeling that something's a bit off in your relationship, then you've got some thinking to do
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Is my partner happy? There are two of you in this relationship, and if this person is important to you, you'll be just as worried about their happiness as you are about your own
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Ask yourself, do they seem happy? Their happiness isn't your responsibility, and they might be unhappy for all kinds of reasons
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but if you think your relationship might be having a negative impact on them, that's not a great sign
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Does your relationship help you grow as a person? What affects does your relationship have on you as a person
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Try to think about it from the point of view of your best friend Would you say that your relationship as to who you are or detracts from it Does your partner bring out the best in you Do they dull your sparkle or make you shine brighter than ever
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Had they encouraged you to learn to grow? Had they introduced you to new things
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Do you support one another? When you're in a relationship, you're a member of a team
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Both members of that team should be willing to support the other one when things get rough
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If you don't feel like you support them and you don't get the support you need back, That's a bad sign
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Do you communicate well? Are you able to discuss tricky, sensitive personal subjects with them
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Are you able to be totally honest? If your communication isn't great
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do you think it's something you could work on, or could it be a fatal flaw? What are the main problems in your relationship
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It might be helpful to write a list of the biggest issues between you. Putting your finger on exactly what is going wrong
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can help you to see if things can be fixed. Without this, you won't know what to do
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to bring the happiness back to your relationship. Have you discussed and worked on these issues
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Okay, so you've established what your main issues are. Are they things you've worked on in the past
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Have you had honest discussions about them? Have you tried to find ways to solve them
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Relationships are hard work and they are always going to be stumbling blocks in the road
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If you love this person, you should be able to say that you've done everything you can to make it work
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even if it eventually falls apart. If you aren't willing to put that effort in, then you've got your answers
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Do you trust them? Trust is vital in any relationship. If the trust between you has gone, then there's no foundation for the two of you to build on
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If you don't trust them, what are your reasons? And can you see a time when you might be able to trust them again
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If you can rediscover that trust your relationship is on borrowed time Are you willing to make sacrifices for this person When two people come together in a romantic relationship there always going to be a sacrifice involved
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Are you okay with that? Do you love them enough to put their needs above your own when necessary
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If you're not, perhaps a love you once felt for them has disappeared. Do you resent them
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Do you ever feel like the relationship has held you back? We all have to compromise for love
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but if you resent your partner because of the compromises you've made for them, they could slowly chip away at your relationship
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But resentment doesn't have to destroy a relationship. Check out our video on overcoming resentment by clicking the icon in the corner of this video
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Can you picture a future with this person? Picture your life five years from now, ten years from now or thirty years from now
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What does your future look like? Is your current partner part of it? Can you see yourself building a life with them
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If you no longer see them in your future, your relationship is. probably run its course. Do you share common goals with your partner? No matter how much love there is
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between two people, if they don't share the same outlook and have common goals, there's not much
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foundation for a lasting relationship. You don't have to agree on everything, but you do have to
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work towards a future that will suit both of you. So think about your long-term goals and ask whether
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your partner goals are compatible with yours. Are you scared of commitment? Are these thoughts about
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breaking up the result of fear of commitment? If so, think carefully about whether you'd regret
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letting these issues ruin your relationship. You can find ways to deal with your fear and overcome it, possibly with the help of a therapist or counsellor
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Would you be willing to try this for the sake of the relationship? Are there any deal-breakers
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Is there anything about this person that could at some point down the line spell the end of your relationship Do they want to get married someday but you against it Do you dream of being a parent but they don want kids
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If there are any big things that you don't see eye to eye on, there might be a case for
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ending things now rather than trying to force something that probably won't work in the long term
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Do your friends and family like them? Does your mum like them? Do your best friends like them
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They may not have actively expressed their dislikes, but if they've never told you that
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they think you're good together, they might have their reservations about your relationship. Be honest with yourself about why that might be. The people that love us the most normally know
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what's best for us and even if a lot of the time we don't want to hear it. If it were easy to do
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would you end things? This is the ultimate test to know if you should break up with someone
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Imagine you can walk into a room, press a big red button and end the relationship where none of the
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orc conversation, none of the tears and none of the heartache. Would you do it? If you would
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then you've got your answer. Of course, things aren't that simple, and breaking up won't be easy
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If you still don't know what to do and you'd like to talk things through with someone, speak to a relationship, counsellor
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They'll listen to you and guide you to the outcome that is best for you. You can find a link to our recommended service in the description below
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That's all from me today, and I hope you found this video insightful and helpful. If you want to share your thoughts, please leave a comment
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I'd love to hear from you. And don't forget to like this video, subscribe to our channel
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and hit that bell button to get no notifications of our latest content. Bye
