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Flirting is an essential part of human interactions
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However, nobody ever said that flirting was easy. I don't even go as far as to say that flirting is an art form that is mastered by few
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While some may be born with a natural talent for it and do it with ease
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that quite literally feels out of this world, others may have to work hard to develop the skill
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necessary to be successful at flirting. But everyone, literally everyone can learn the skill
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Now, one of the most important aspects of flirting is touch, which in itself is a powerful
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way to create connection and communicate attraction. Touch can be used to create sexual tension and arousal in a woman as much as it can create
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feeling of disgust, repulsion and a sense of danger. This is why we're going to talk about touch today because pretty much anyone with the tiniest
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bit of courage can open their mouth and speak. But when it comes to touch, touch is a very much
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one of those things that can accelerate your progress in pursuit of the object of your attraction
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or completely destroy any chances that you may have had with them
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leaving you to feel creepy and dirty. Now, I'm an ytical kind of guy
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If I see a problem, I go right down to the core and look at the science behind it
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because despite what Romantics would love us to believe, at the end of the day, love attraction
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arousal or any other feeling for that matter are nothing else than chemistry and psychology
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So let's explore the psychology behind touch during flirting and discuss some of the most effective
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ways to touch a woman to create sexual tension and arousal. Touch is a powerful sense that can communicate wide range of emotions and intentions
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From a psychological perspective, touch is important for human development. bonding and communication. Studies have shown that touch can quite literally increase the feeling
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of trust and closeness between individuals, whether that's intimate or not, and can even promote
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healing and reduce stress. The very first thing that we do after birth with every child is that we
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place the baby on its mother's chest. And one of the biggest problems that robotics experience
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is today is to resolve how to give people the lost sense of touch
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so that they don't only have the functionality of their arms but can also feel
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Touch is just one of those things that we all take for granted
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However the psychology of touch is very complex And it involves multiple factors that influence how we perceive and respond to physical contact with others
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Some of the key factors that contribute to the psychological effects of touch includes the type
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and duration of touch. The context in which it occurs and individuals' personal experiences and cultural background
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such as handshake, tap on a shoulder, hug or kiss. They're all different when it comes to the emotions that they convey
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At a basic level, when it comes to attraction, touch triggers the release of a range of hormones
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and neurotransmitters in the brain, including things like oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin
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These chemicals are associated with feelings of pleasure, reward and emotional bonding
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which can help to create a sense of intimacy and closeness. between two individuals. One of the easiest, literally easiest ways to create sexual tension
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during flirting is by lightly touching the woman. And I have to put emphasis on the word light
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to make it as subtle and non-threatening as possible. This can be done in a number of ways
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such as gently brushing against her arm while talking or sitting close enough so that your
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bodies are constantly sharing some points of contact, whether that's part of the
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your leg or your shoulder or lightly placing your hand on her arm while making a point or
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just placing it around her when you're sitting in a booth. This can show that you're comfortable with physical contact but also that you're respectful
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and not overbearing. The last thing you want to do is start touching her in a more aggressive or inappropriate way
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Research has shown that touch increases the level of the hormone oxytocin, which can create a
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sense of closeness and bonding. We've all heard about oxytocin and the role it plays. This can make the other
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person feel more comfortable and relaxed around you while creating a subconscious sense of intimacy
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and connection that suddenly the two of you share. Remember that chemistry is your friend and the more
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you can do to stimulate the release of these bonding and pleasure hormones and chemicals the easier it is
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going to be for you. Always remember to mirror her body language, but not like a robot. Flirting
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is all about nuance and leadership. You have to remember that although people often say
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that mirroring somebody body language is a good thing they assume that things go according to the plan But the reality is obviously completely different Now everything always goes according to the plan Most of the time it all about nuance and subtle cues
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You need to take the reins into your own hands and steer the situation and the mood in the direction
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that is most helpful to you. Definitely don't mirror any kind of body language
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that could be interpreted as stressed, cautious or reserved, or you'll be only emphasizing those feelings and drive your flirting to a swift end
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Yes, mirroring somebody's body language can create a feeling of rapport and intimacy
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But only if the cues are positive. If she leans in, then yes, you can lean in as well
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If she touches her hair or her face, pick up on it and either compliment her
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or enhance that subtle sign of comfort and attraction with something else like a gentle touch
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on her hand or shoulder or leaning and removing the hair from her face
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Either way, you always have to be in the driving seat. If she is sitting upright and does not look relaxed, lean back and chill
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Definitely don't copy her behavior. It's not always about mirroring everything exactly
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You have to create the situation that suits you. The next thing you need to start doing is to use touch very strategically
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Strategic touches are designed to create sexual tension and can include touches on a more sensitive areas of the body
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And I'm not talking about intimate areas. This sensitive areas include neck, waist or lower back
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These are parts of the body that are not intimate, but they're definitely parts of the body that rarely get touched under normal social circumstances and interactions
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That being said, being mindful of the other person's boundary. and comfort level and the subtle cues that I have mentioned
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If she pulls away, don't continue and take it as a good sign
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If you continue, you risk that a slight feeling of uncertainty will suddenly turn into repulsion and discomfort
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Instead, think of it as taking a step back. Flirting is a dance, quite literally
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Read the situation and read her body language. Maybe instead of immediately pulling away or forcing the touch
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to stop, joke about it, point it out and turn it into a bit of a banter to make her feel
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like you're playful and fun rather than somebody who's either aggressive predator who only
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wants to get her in bed or somebody who too shy at the first obstacle You be surprised how many women will welcome that kind of reaction that then allows you to get back to step one the light and non touch building up the rapport eventually trying the more intimate touch again with actual success
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And when that happens, make sure the moment is right that you can make that touch gentle to really stimulate her feeling of anticipation and desire, increasing her level of attraction
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and sexual tension towards you. You have to make sure that everything
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quite literally everything is playing into your cards. This means that you have to be prepared
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for the date that you're going for. Touch is a very powerful tool
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that can be used to create sexual tension and arousal and ensure that the woman is comfortable
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the comfortable with the level of touch. And if she is not, but she continues engaging you
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then just take it easy, take a step back and rebuild everything
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Rebuild that connection, rebuild the rapport and just continue. And don't have some preconceived expectations that your first date has to go a certain way
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Be more open about it. Anything can happen during the date. She may suddenly meet one of her friends in a bar and suddenly it completely messes up your plan
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But you being in the driving seat, having a plan, knowing how you need to proceed
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knowing the psychology and understanding every single aspect of all of these verbal, non-verbal cues
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her body language, her reactions to different situations, the environment reactions to you
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improves your chances. And this is where you always have to keep in mind. And you may think that guys who are better looking have it easier
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Look no further than Tom Torreira. Tom Torreira, if anybody was to judge him based on his looks, would completely dismiss him
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And yet, he used to be one of the biggest pickup artists out there
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And he was doing it not only to teach people, but also for himself
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Because he discovered that there is a formula. You just have to be very strategic how you use it
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And this is where I'm going to leave you. If you have anything to say, put it down into the comment section
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And I'll see you the next one. Bye
