0:00
Do you fall in love a little too easily? Do you let your emotions get ahead of yourself
0:04
Has this led to hurt and heartbreak? You're not alone. It's only natural to want to love and be loved
0:10
This can lead to some poor decisions being made. Relationships entered that shouldn't be entered, hopes raised that are destined to be dashed, emotions heightened only to crash again
0:20
Hi, this is Jessica from a conscious rethink and if it feels like you've reached the love stage a little too quickly, here are some tips to help you slow down
0:28
Control your desire to find love. Often the biggest reason someone gets swept away in love so easy
0:34
is because they are so keen to find it. They just want to be in love
0:38
They want to feel that warm feeling. But not everyone you meet or date will be suitable for you
0:43
Just because you want to find love so badly doesn't mean you have to settle for just anyone
0:48
You have to recognise that when you desire to be loved and in a relationship is the primary driving force
0:53
for your feelings towards someone. Don't worry about losing them. If you like someone and think they might be boyfriend or girlfriend material
1:02
you might be driving the emotional side of the relationship forward quickly in order to secure their place in your life
1:08
In other words, you allow yourself to fall for them in the hopes that they fall for you
1:13
Your insecurity fills your mind with thoughts that they might find someone else, that they're already dating other people or that they'll get bored of you if you don't tie them down
1:22
But here's an important truth. Most people you date won't turn into long-term partners
1:26
That's a good thing because it means you aren't stuck wasting your time in a relationship that isn't going to last
1:33
Be willing to lose someone in the knowledge that when the right person comes along, they will want to stay
1:39
Distract your mind from thinking about them. You might think you're falling in love, but you might be confusing love for infatuation
1:46
This is especially true if you can't stop thinking about this person. And yes, it's true that infatuation might transform into love, but it might not
1:54
The only way to tell is to pull your mind away from thoughts about them
1:59
Find distractions that can bring you back to the present moment as your thoughts don get stuck in the object of your affection This will give you more time to see how things develop and to think about the situation with a clear head
2:12
Keep your friends and family close. When a new partner enters your life, it can be easy to prioritise them over everything else
2:19
But doing so, it only speeds up the mixing of your lives and intensifies the feelings you have for them
2:25
To stop falling in love at breakneck speed, it's vital that you maintain as much of the life
2:29
life you had before they came along as you can. This means putting lots of time and effort into the
2:34
relationship you have with your family and friends. They will remind you what a good life you had
2:39
already, which can help lessen your desire for a relationship. Maintain separate hobbies
2:45
When you're dating someone, it can feel right to spend as much time with them as you possibly
2:49
can. But the two of you probably have different hobbies. You should try to keep those hobbies going
2:54
which often means keeping them separate. Allow each other time and space required to pursue those
2:59
things you find enjoyable. Sure, if it's a hobby you both share, you can do it together
3:03
but you don't always need to do it together. They probably have friends they do it with
3:07
as so do you. Remind yourself how independent you are. If you fall in love easily
3:13
because you enjoy being part of a couple, it's time to embrace your independence
3:18
or rather it's time to recognise that you are a capable human being who can get along just
3:22
fine in life by yourself. You don't need to rush into a relationship in the belief that you'll
3:27
be unhappy or alone forever. You almost certainly do experience joy and happiness when you're a single and when you do things that you like with the people you care about
3:35
You can take care of yourself practically speaking and you are mostly independent. You just don't realise it
3:42
Let them remain independent too. If you tend to move quickly in a new relationship, you are denying the other person their independence
3:49
Sure, it's nice to see them some evenings at the weekend, but they had their own life before you came along
3:55
So let them continue having that life now. You don't have to see them so often to maintain a closeness with them
4:01
You can make the most of the time you do spend together so that the time apart doesn feel like a separation Spending less time together will also meller the intense feeling of attraction and lust you may be having which can easily be mistaken for love
4:15
Choose to see their flaws early. In the early stages of dating or a relationship
4:20
it can be easy to overlook a person's downsides. But if you take note of a person's traits or behaviours that they find less appealing
4:27
it can balance out the positives and give you a more realistic view of them. We're not suggesting that you only focus on a person's flaw
4:34
because that will result in you rejecting every potential match. But try for a more even evaluation
4:40
It will force you to think carefully as to whether or not there are potential deal breakers
4:45
Carefully consider whether you are a good match. Hot on the hills of a person floor is the question of how one matched you really are with someone
4:52
You may enjoy their company and even like their personality, but this is not enough for true compatibility
4:58
Across the whole spectrum of measures, how right are you for one another? Are you high-energy person whilst they are more low-energy
5:05
Are you a vegan whilst they are carnivore? Are you a person of faith where they are not religious
5:10
To stop yourself from falling in love too quickly and with the wrong person, spend some time in reflection as to ask yourself
5:16
whether you could really make things work in the long run. Keep digital contact in check
5:22
As with many things in life, when it comes to texting or messaging someone you are dating
5:27
less is more. Whilst it is nice to keep in touch with that person
5:30
you don't need to be messaging back and forth all day, every day when you're apart
5:35
Save your best conversations for when you are together and try to keep your digital communication to a reasonable level
5:41
You don't need to reply straight away, even if you read their message. It's okay to respond at a time that's more convenient to you
5:48
They will wait. Hold off on getting physical. It may be nice to get intimate with someone you find physically attractive
5:55
but the whole dynamic of the relationship can change afterwards. What's more, the way you think
6:00
about someone is likely to change after the first physical encounter. Sex triggers the release of bonding hormones and these can seriously mess with your thoughts
6:08
towards someone You can become more infatuated with them and tell yourself that you falling in love with them when that really only lust So try to resist the temptation to sleep with them for as long as possible Learn to recognise your emotions You may think that you are falling in love too easily but are you sure it love that you are feeling love that you are feeling love that you are feeling lust or infatuation which are both very different to love Or perhaps your insecurity is making you think you are in love with someone when it anxiety instead
6:38
Or do you feel under pressure to find love because you're approaching a certain age
6:42
Your friends are coupled up and your family continue to ask when you're going to meet a nice guy or girl
6:48
Ask yourself what it really feels like to be in love. Get to know that a feeling and understand the signs that you really do love someone
6:56
Keep your distance. If you want to stop falling in love with someone altogether
7:01
the best way to do this is to put lots of distance between the two of you. It's amazing how much a bit of physical and digital separation can do for the last
7:08
the heart and mind. When you don't see or hear from someone, you eventually stop thinking about
7:13
them. And when you stop thinking about someone, the way in which you care for them changes
7:18
Love doesn't have the chance to grow and you either forget about them or you can begin to
7:22
feel something more along the lines of friendship. Finally, if you want to get the root cause of why
7:28
you fall in love so easily, it may help to talk things over with a relationship expert
7:33
They can ask the right questions and listen carefully to your answers to tease out the real
7:37
reasons and then help you address them. This can greatly benefit your relationship moving forwards
7:42
For our recommended relationship counselling service, check the link in the description below
7:47
And that's all from me today. I hope you found this video insightful and helpful. If you want to
7:52
share your thoughts, please leave a comment. I'd love to hear from you. And don't forget to like this
7:56
video, subscribe to our channel and hit that bell button to get notifications of our latest contents
