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Guess what? Looks aren't everything no matter what Tinder is trying to tell us
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Our society is so ultra-focused on appearance at the moment, whether it's pouting and posing on Instagram
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lip-syncing on TikTok or putting our sexiest photos on dating apps, that you'd be forgiven for thinking that being hot is the most important quality to look for in a partner
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But while those things may be making us feel like we should go for looks and above all else
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dating someone you're not actually physically attracted to can be an eye-opening experience
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Sure, instant attraction is a powerful motivator, forgetting to know someone but we can easily forget about what the value that lies beyond someone's looks
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Here's a few reasons for you to think twice about turning down a date with someone you're not instantly lusting after
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You might actually get on. Good looks don't mean that you will automatically get along
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Whilst your loins are saying yes, yes, yes, your brain may be saying no, no, no
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If you have similar values and are you interested in the same things, whether the other person is attractive to you or not
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you'll probably enjoy their company a lot more than just sitting and staring at someone thinking about how attracted they are
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You might find that you've got a lot in common by just putting in the effort to chat to someone
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rather than rushing things and getting too attached to someone because of how they look
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If you may or match with them, there's clearly something that attracted you to them. But that's something could be a shared interest in Skyfire or a love of sports
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It does not have to be based solely on how you both look. Focus on their personality and what you like about them, not just how they look
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and maybe you'll get on really well. It's what inside that counts. We live in such a visual world that we get really caught up on how people look
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and forget that a person's true value come from within. We spend more time swiping on dating ads making snap judgments based on people appearances scrolling through Instagram making endless comparisons and adding filters to our photos to make ourselves look better It hard to remember sometimes
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but there really is more to being attractive than how someone looks. The more open you are to getting to know someone
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the more likely you are to find a genuine connection and someone who is a much better match for you long term
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Physical attraction is great, but it can fizzle out pretty quickly when you get to know each other on a deeper level
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and then you suddenly find that there is nothing there to hold on to. You're not shallow for wanting to be with someone really attractive
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but if you want to date someone long term go for a deeper connection and get to know someone even if you don't find them physically attractive
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You can be more yourself. I want you to compare yourself on a date with someone who's really hot
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to what you're like when you're hanging out of your friends. You're probably a lot more self-conscious
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and focus on how you come across when you fancy someone because you want them to fancy you too
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Although this is totally normal, it might mean that you're not comfortable being yourself and you might present a different version of yourself
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or go along with what you think they want you to be because you're so keen to impress them
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By dating someone you're not physically attracted to, you're less likely to feel pressure to perform
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and you can just be yourself and chill. This is key to any healthy, lasting relationship
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or it will mean that any connection between the two of you is genuine and not a false version of yourself
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Your usual type doesn't work anyway. A lot of us have a type, but if we're being really honest with ourselves
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our type isn't actually always right for us. You might always go for a bad boy
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and then be hurt by them because they generally are bad. Maybe your usual type is a wild girl who loves night and
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and you always get exhausted trying to keep up with them because you actually just love your lonely nights
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It's worth meeting other people and seeing how different relationship could be if you stop going for your usual type and branch out a bit You could break bad habits that you falling into by dating someone that wrong You got nothing to lose
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This one is pretty self-explanatory. At the end of the day, all you're risking is having a crappy date
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And really bad dates are quite rare anyway. In all likelihood, it will probably be enjoyable in some way
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As long as you don't lie or lead them on, you may as well hang out with them and get to know them a bit more
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You might be pleasantly surprised after all. Attraction can grow. Remember that life isn't a movie, love at first sight rarely if ever happens
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Some things take time to develop, so don't feel disappointed that there aren't any fireworks on the first date
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They might have been more nervous and less confident than they normally are, so it's worth giving them a second chance and seeing how another date goes
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If you enjoy spending time with them, they may make you laugh and you feel good when you're with them
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It's worth holding out for a physical attraction to grow, as that kind of connection is pretty rare these days
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You might end up finding their personality so attractive that the physical attraction, blossoms over time. You might make a new friend. Okay, so sometimes no matter what you do
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you just never develop an attraction for your date. You might get to know your date more and realise
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it just won't happen. But that's completely fine and you shouldn't feel any pressure to force it
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It's great to be open-minded to making different dating choices, but it's also fine to just
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call it a day and agree to be friends. Like I've already said, you decide to go on a date or
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talk to this person for a reason and maybe that's a great reason to be friends. As long as you're
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both honest about how you feel and you're not stringing the other person, It's a great outcome to come away with a new friend
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Love isn't just physical. Don confuse lust with love It easy to get confused by how your feelings should feel Remember that not everyone is going to give you fireworks and make you want to jump into the sack with them and that okay You can have really healthy relationships with people that you
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attracted to, even if their looks don't quite match what you thought your dream partner would
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look like. Remember the looks don't last. If you want to find a long-term partner and grow old
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together, then you're going to need to rely on your personality and your common interest to get you
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there. When the honeymoon period ends, you need more than lust to see you through having a good
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healthy relationship. It can help you figure out what you don't want. Sometimes you need to
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experience something that doesn't work for you in order to realise what you're looking for. If you're
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not attracted to someone and it doesn't end in a relationship, you can still come away from
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it with more awareness of what does work for you and what kind of person you're looking for
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Dating someone you're not physically attracted to can be a great way of learning more about
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yourself and it gives you the chance to get to know people you might normally overlook. You'll
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probably have a fun time, even if it's platonic and doesn't go anywhere romantic. If you come out of this
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with a friend, you'll still gain something and you can look back on things fondly
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If you're pleasantly surprised and they've not falling for them, even better. All right, and that's it for this episode
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If you guys want to read the article in this episode is based on, I'll link it in the description below
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If you need professional assistants, that will be linked there too. And if you've not yet subscribed, feel free to do so
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We post twice a week and there's plenty of awesome content on the way. Just remember to click on the bell too and I'll see you in the next one
