Satire of The Firestarter

"Yeah, so like I was saying. My dick is hanging out of my tattered pants. There are chicken feathers everywhere, freedalking like the god damn Forrest Gump intro. The distraught mother covered her childrens eyes and turned them around with her back to the mess. The father? Well, just when I thought he was going to act, I readied my fists. But he just slowly sized me up, turned his contoured face from a look of dismay to a stoic gaze. And for a single split second, and now remember, my dicks full out. Chicken carcass and feathers littering the sidewalk, hen flaw marks literally covering my body. For a split quarter of a second, I think I think I saw that sick bastard smile. His poultry got sexually decimates, probably out a few grand, his wife and kids covered in blood, scarred for life. And he had the audacity to look at my clawed up feather covered dick and smile. Oddest fucking Christmas ever. You know? So by the ways when do we start filming?" -this guy