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Watching Men Struggle Is My Entertainment | LOVE DON'T JUDGE
Sep 11, 2025
TOMIE has a job that some may find unusual. "Men pay me thousands of dollars to submit to me. Men love to worship me," she told Love Don't Judge. Realising she was a dom from a young age, Tomie eventually decided to start a career in this industry. Recounting her first time in the job, Tomie said, "I remember the first encounter just felt electric. I'm called to do this thing." Initially, Tomie kept her career under wraps, but she's now very open about what she does for a living. "I was quite shy when I started off, but now that I'm five years in, whatever room I walk into, I want people to know that this is what I do," she explained. In this episode of Love Don't Judge, Tomie's first-ever sub, Zero, will be coming over for a session where Tomie will set him an impossible task. She said, "If he messes up, there's going to be some kind of punishment. I already know that he's going to struggle, which is going to be fun to look at."
View Video Transcript
0:00
My name is Tomi, and men pay me thousands of dollars to submit to me
0:05
Men love to worship me. On a yearly basis, I make a high six figures
0:11
I think there is a wide variety of criticism. There might be something a little bit threatening about a powerful woman
0:17
Get on your hands and knees. Come, come, come. I'm going to be mixing brown and white rice together
0:23
He has to separate the two colors. Did you already drop it? Oh my gosh, I knew you were going to mess up on this so quickly
0:30
It's entertaining for me to watch someone struggle. Do you date or have a partner
0:38
Hi, I'm Tomi and this is my office. This section is a lot of my tools and toys
0:46
So we have some headgear, lots of gloves, alcohol prep pads and things like that so that we can play safely
0:54
Rope section, I have some of my duct tape here too. One of my clients gifted me a porcelain replica of myself
1:05
I've been dominant my entire life. That scene in The Matrix where Neo is on his back
1:12
his mouth disappears, and then the metal bug goes into his belly button
1:16
The scene always stood out to me. My previous career was in the anti-trafficking policy space
1:22
and in that space, it oftentimes intersects with sex workers' rights. I met a lot of the New York City community through that work
1:30
and decided to jump right into it. I remember the first encounter just felt electric
1:36
you know, like, oh, I'm called to do this thing. It's just so gratifying for me to be the most intense
1:42
powerful version of myself. Alrighty, I think Zero is on the way
1:48
and I'm going to start prepping. Zero's been my client since 2019
1:52
He's my first ever client. I'm going to be mixing brown and white rice together
1:59
and then he has to separate the two colors, and if he messes up there gonna be some kind of punishment I already know he gonna struggle which is gonna be fun to look at Alrighty get on your hands and knees crawl out Come come come I been seeing Mistress Tony for about five years
2:15
He had a list of books that he liked in his profile
2:19
and there was just this overwhelmingly clear feeling in me that, oh, I want to own this man
2:25
She's very intelligent and creative and sometimes can be very intense, Yet is also a very compassionate and ethical person
2:34
No matter how strange or scary the situation may seem, I always feel safe with her
2:40
So when we started, it was a very classical client dynamic and COVID happened
2:45
So I installed cameras in his home. He had absolutely no privacy, you know, looking through his phone, through a remote controlled app
2:56
Once COVID was over and we can resume play, we decided to get into an ownership contract where it lined out my responsibility, my roles
3:06
And then there was the one big tribute that he gave me
3:10
It was a comfortable six figures. Alrighty, come up here. Crawl, crawl, crawl, crawl over here
3:16
Okay, on the other end of the hall is a small pile of white rice mixed with brown rice
3:26
You have exactly five minutes to pick white rice all here. If you mess up, you will be punished
3:36
If you don't make it in five minutes, you'll be punished. If you drop one grain of rice during the crawling, you will be punished
3:45
Got it? Yes, mistress. Ready, set, go. Right now my current rates are 1k an hour starting
3:55
There is no typical session because every individual is different. I see their psychological profile
4:03
I then tend to get on a console call to talk a little bit more about why they're doing this
4:09
From there I craft the session Did you already drop it Oh my gosh I knew you were gonna mess up on this so quickly None of my friends and family know about this part of my life I was quite shy when I first started off but now that I five years into this
4:25
whatever room I walk into, I want everyone to know that this is what I do
4:30
People tend to be curious about it, they tend to ask some questions, you know, they may have some preconceptions
4:35
There's been times where I've interacted with people in social settings where they were defensive around it
4:41
But it's also very clear that they're defensive around their own insecurities and shame
4:47
3, 2, and 1. Couldn't even get 5 and you dropped it
4:55
Pathetic. So pathetic. Did you learn anything from that? No? He learned nothing
5:03
I think for me, I like sessions like this because it's entertaining for me to watch someone struggle
5:10
How does it feel for you to do something difficult just to please someone
5:16
Well, of course, I want to please you, mistress. Yeah, I'm gonna punish Theroux
5:20
Are you looking forward to the punishment, sir? Yes and no. Tomi is the person who has most met my needs
5:27
but also has been a very powerful influence and a very positive influence
5:32
My life has been enormously improved because of our influence. Good boy
5:37
Okay, time for your punishment. I'm gonna be using rice again. Congrats
5:45
Faster, faster, faster. Come on. I know that judgments and criticisms exist
5:51
Unless it's impacting my day-to-day in a very practical way, I don't quite pay attention to it
5:56
I don't read any comments online. I have a small but incredibly loyal following and I feel so grateful every single day that I have them in my life
6:07
For close regular clients, I would say six to like eight. That's you know seeing me
6:16
consistently and for online fans I have around 2k and all of this doesn include people who just consume my content On a yearly basis I make a high six figures I don ask for gifts
6:31
I do have a wish list. So these are some of the jewelry that's been gifted to me over the years
6:40
The best advice I got was never spend your own money on luxury goods
6:46
This is the Cartier Love Lock in gold. Vivienne Westwood pearl earrings
6:52
Tiffany gold necklace, matching Cartier ring. I think there is a wide variety of criticisms
7:00
I think a big bulk of it is rooted in patriarchal ideas
7:03
around what a woman's allowed to demand. I think in general there might be something
7:08
a little bit threatening about a powerful woman. The kinds of criticisms they get is unique
7:15
And I think there is a duty to try to destigmatize to work for other people
7:20
Do you date or have a partner? I find that I get a lot of my needs fulfilled through my clients
7:31
A lot of my emotional energy goes into these relationships. There is no other industry where women have a gross and unfair advantage
7:44
There's also no other industry where I can have as much freedom as I want
7:49
I think socially, women are so conditioned to not rock the boat
7:55
to give and give and give at the expense of themselves. I feel so lucky and I want to pursue what I want
8:02
What do I want to say to people who are critical or judgmental? I don't think absolutely everyone needs to agree, right
8:10
And I think that's okay. But you should know why you don't agree. and I think that'll shine a light on your own values
8:16
and that's okay too
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