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People say I fake my Tourette's
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I wish I was faking. I swear and curse every single day
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I absolutely cannot help it, even if I tried. I have an immense fear of going out in public
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because so many people just simply don't understand. You need an exorcist
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No way this is real. Hi! Today my friend Stan is coming over
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and we're going out for some food. I often let other people order for me
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so that I don't get into any awkward situation. Today I'm going to face my fears
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and I'm going to try and order my own food. How are you feeling? I'm pretty nervous right now
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Hi, how are you ladies? Can I do some food for you too? Hi, my name is Rachel
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I have Tourette's syndrome. Shut up. And yes, it's a real condition
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Tourette's syndrome is a neurological disorder that closes me to tick and ticks are involuntary
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movements and sounds that I make that I absolutely cannot control. The motor tics are simply the uncontrollable movement
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You'll see a lot in my face with my mouth and my neck and my hands
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Even my legs and my feet. I kick them, my back will twitch
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It's absolutely everywhere. The vocal tics consist of random little noises that I make and I also have something called
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coprolalia which is the profanity. Some of my most common tics are a lot of very casual profanities like the F word, like F
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you, and a lot of whistling. It does become quite frustrating sometimes that I cannot stop my tics or control them
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but at the end of the day, this is my life, this is how I have to live, so I don't have
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any other choice. I had incredibly minor tics throughout my entire childhood, but they were so minor that
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that you would have never noticed. It was something as simple as my neck
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or maybe my eyes twitching. Good morning. Hey, I see you're dressed
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You have plans for today? Yes. I have to make TikToks. And then after that, Sam is coming over
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My onset of Tourette syndrome occurred when I was about 15 years old And it happened semi I remember you walking into the kitchen and you seemed off you seemed pale
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And you bumped into the wall. And then your arms started going in different directions
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And you started to fall to the ground. And I caught you in mid-air
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It was scary. It was very scary. You know, the person we knew was literally gone
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I was taken to the doctor pretty much right away. The official diagnosis made me feel like my entire world was crashing
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I absolutely refused to go out anywhere. I had to start homebound learning
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I hardly ever saw my friends. I was incredibly isolated for a very long time
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I do remember feeling like my entire life was over. I remember you saying it. It was crushing
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Over and over and over again. To be honest, I felt like that too. As a parent, it was tough because I thought everything was gone
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The turning point was honestly creating a community on social media. Welcome back to Music with Twit Syndrome
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I posted a video to TikTok like every other teenager was doing
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And in that video, I was actively ticking. That video blew up and I received hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of comments
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asking me questions or some people were relating to my tics and they were happy
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to see it in the media and I realized oh my gosh I can do something positive. I am
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going to record another Tourette's awareness video. People accuse me of faking my condition every single day. I mean it is one of the most
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comment hate comments that I receive so that is what I am going to talk about
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today. When people say that I am faking my Tourette syndrome, I feel incredibly
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invalidated. It's a core part of who I am, whether I like it or not. So to say that
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I am faking this is to say that it's like I'm just faking me. You need an
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exorcist. He's been taken over by a parasite. That's so fake. No way this is
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I totally understand how another person cannot comprehend the fact that I cannot control my movements or what is coming out of my mouth
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Ooh, that was not voluntary. That hurt. There's not a lot of information out there about Tourette's Syndrome
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and that's why I try so hard to provide just that. Just remember that when approached with something
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you're crazy, or someone that you don't quite understand, and keep an open mind and an open heart
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The positive response that I received does make all of this worth it
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I don't see why I would ever succumb to the negativity when I still have all those people out there supporting me
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telling me that they appreciate what I do and that I affect their life positively
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It's not just okay to be different, it's amazing. Hi. Hi. What's up
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Rezben, how are you? I'm okay. I have known my friend Sam since we were five years old
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She has been here through absolutely everything. How did you feel when my symptoms first started to escalate
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I instantly knew that your life was going to be different and I want to be there for you
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Because, you know, it's just this thing that people are going to notice very quickly
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I still experience a lot of anxiety around going out in public
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Something that I tend to avoid is going out to eat. The ritual of talking to the waiter
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and just being in that public setting. It is so overwhelming. Today, I want to try something new and I'm very nervous. Okay
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We are going to go out to eat at a restaurant. Okay. And
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I'm going to try and order for myself. All right, we can do it
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We can be there to help you if you need, but let's 100% do this. I have to face fears every single day of my life
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and I do think that it is vital for change. If I go into hiding or if others like me go into hiding
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we will never ever be able to normalize ourselves. This is nice
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This is really nice. How are you feeling? I'm nervous. I'm pretty nervous right now
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What if, you know, the waiter does not understand? What if the waiter is judging me
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What if the waiter wants me out of the restaurant You know We going to get through it and we going to do it We going to do it We gonna do it We gonna do it Okay I nervous to see how this goes I human I can help but fear what the public reaction may be
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when I'm ticking and all of that. Hey ladies. Hi. How are you? Good
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My name's Harley. I'll be taking care of you. Can I do some food for you too? I'm just gonna get the mac and cheese
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just without the shallot. Sure, no problem. I'm for you. And I
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I will have the chicken plus the biscuits, please. You ladies are all set
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I'll get this hard for you. Thank you so much. You did? You did
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How do you feel? I feel an adrenaline rush. That was definitely scary
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But she was really nice and she didn't even have a reaction. I feel like now in the future, I'll feel more comfortable just
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you know, ordering food like every other person. You did good. Thank you
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Next time I'll order your food. Yeah, exactly. Now eat the food that you worked so hard for. Yeah
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I would say that I have come to terms with my condition because this is my reality
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I can't live any other way, so why should I spend all of my life sulking
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You know? It's pointless. In order to make real change, we need to be our authentic selves
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So I just wanted to thank you really quickly. I have a disability called Tourette's Syndrome
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And that causes all the cursing that you're hearing. None of that was directed at you
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Of course. But honestly, you were just so sweet. I felt normal
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I want to thank you for being so accommodating. Of course. I'm glad you ladies enjoyed everything truly, honestly
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Thank you. Of course. All I have to say to those who have judged me because of my
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condition is hope that they learn to not judge others so quickly when they see
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something or someone that they don't quite understand. Believe that we should all embrace our differences and I think that we should all be committed to being
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so beautifully and uniquely and truly ourselves. Thank you