0:00
the old stone streets of the town were still filled with the pungent smell of shoe glue every morning at sunrise the
0:06
stone houses would wake up with that smell but no one noticed what this smell reminded them of anymore whenever
0:13
someone would catch a whiff of it they would just grimace and pass by perhaps
0:19
subconsciously trying to undo a past but for Alian that smell was his childhood
0:26
itself the smell of the years when he had not yet woken up to the cruelty of the world the small shoe shop that had
0:34
stood for years in the middle of the town now with its shutters halfway down
0:39
it was like a silent lament the dust accumulated behind the windows showed that time had stopped inside the
0:46
cobblestones that no one had ever stepped on were cracked and even the wooden bench in front of the shop was
0:51
rotting but in Alian's eyes the shop was still like a shrine that his father had
0:56
shaped with his calloused hands once upon a time Alian used to sleep in the
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small room behind the shop at night a room with a stove stone walls sandwiched
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between books and slippers his father Master Ibrahim would wake up with the
1:13
morning call to prayer and in the evenings he would sew leather click heels and quietly hum songs until late
1:21
there was a photograph hanging on the wall a young man smiling in front of the shoemakers for years Ali Isan did not
1:29
know that the man was his father he just kept asking "Who is that smiling man?"
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For Master Ibraim there was only one truth my son will study he will live
1:40
without calluses he will not bow down to anyone this was his prayer and prayer
1:45
can sometimes be a burden ali Ean studied he studied a lot when he
1:52
graduated from high school he was the proudest son in the town at weddings and holiday meals people would say "Our Ean
1:59
is going to be an engineer." But no one knew that his heartbeat differently no
2:04
one saw the emptiness that grew inside him as he was buried in books the ambition that changed his dreams one by
2:10
one the first day he went to Istanbul was still in his mind she hid her tears
2:16
as she looked out the train window his mother's lips trembled as she waved her hand his father had turned his back
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without a word and walked away with heavy steps that day perhaps something inside Alian was broken and that
2:31
fracture turned into a chasm over time in the early days he would often call his father "father keep him in your
2:39
prayers," he would say and Master Ibrahim would always say "May God bless
2:44
your path my son." These were short simple words but full of prayers then then the silence began
2:53
istanbul was a big city yes but what was bigger was the loneliness when he
2:59
received his first salary he sent his father a pair of leather gloves but then the gifts diminished the phone calls
3:06
became fewer ali Ean was getting lost in the city he remembered the days when he
3:11
wore elegant suits when he bought his first car he hugged the steering wheel in the middle of the night and cried
3:17
because the smell of success was also lonely one morning he went to his office
3:25
early as he looked out the window he questioned himself "What have I become?"
3:30
There was no answer that day he met me that day he left work early for the
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first time and walked around the city until morning and that day something else sunk into him
3:44
dissatisfaction his first encounter with the gambling tables was after a meeting his boss had taken him "let's get a
3:51
little distracted," he had said alian was nervous at first then as he picked
3:57
up the cards he felt the emptiness in his heart fill for a while but this feeling like the booze made him nauseous
4:05
the next day still he couldn't stop because winning in the city sometimes started with losing seeil oh Seil he
4:14
still couldn't forget the patience in that woman's eyes he saw her for the first time in the town library she was
4:20
holding red Monday at that moment time stopped when Ceil had said to him "You
4:28
never used to come here." He had only smiled there was a future in that smile
4:34
a house they dreamed of two children and honeysuckles blooming in the garden and
4:40
so it was for a while satil gave him two children Charara and Ilka the son had
4:49
his father's eyes but Ali son was a different man now he saw his reflection
4:55
in red wine glasses not in the eyes of his children melis her beauty was stunning but her
5:03
heart was broken she was the daughter of a rich merchant when Ali Isan first saw her he thought "What can a man like me
5:10
give this woman?" But then he did passion sin then silence when Isik was
5:18
born he said "I will change with this child." But she too was left alone like
5:24
Cecil Isach became a dream knowing his father only from a distance
5:31
one morning at the end of all these dark days as he entered his office he saw the
5:38
familiar boy waiting for him he was the son of the former headman of the town in
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his hand was a crumpled piece of paper not even an envelope his eyes were on
5:49
the floor "your father left it," he said briefly then he turned and left at that
5:56
moment Alian collapsed into the armchair in the corner of his office and silenced
6:02
everything the computer screen the phone ringing the sound of cars outside all of
6:08
it was gone there was only that paper every word written in his father's shaky
6:14
handwriting stabbing his heart the letter was yellowed paper bearing the traces of years the corners were frayed
6:21
and a crease ran down the center it was as if time itself had touched it alian
6:26
opened the envelope with trembling hands he caressed the paper with his fingertips for a
6:32
while after taking a deep breath he started reading "my son," his father
6:38
began his letter he said that his heart was trembling not his hands he said that
6:44
he was pouring out the feelings he had buried inside for years into these lines he said that he felt that death was
6:51
approaching so he had to write what he could not speak he said that when she took her first steps he started walking
6:57
with her she wrote that she had sewn the first pair of shoes she wore with her own hands and that she had never
7:03
forgotten that day he said that ever since that day he had always wanted him to pursue big dreams in big cities alian
7:12
continued reading his eyes filling with tears at every sentence his father had
7:18
told him that he was always proud of him studying growing up and leaving but that every departure took away a part of him
7:25
he wrote that one morning he told his mother "Our if son will never return and
7:30
she didn't want to believe it but he had already buried the hope inside her." He lamented that he never got to see his
7:37
grandchildren never got to hear them say "Grandpa." He admitted that maybe he didn't deserve it but that it burned
7:44
inside him then he said such a sentence that Ali Kanan's hands trembled i won't
7:50
ask you to forgive me he said because I don't even remember when I hurt you when
7:55
I resented you then came the lines that tore him apart inside but know this I've
8:01
always loved you i've been proud of your every achievement and with every silence something died inside me if he was alive
8:09
when he received this letter he wanted him to take that little boy inside him and come back he wanted to hug him maybe
8:16
one last time and if that child still missed him he asked him not to be late he ended the letter with "Forgive me
8:24
your father Ibraim." Alian pressed the paper to his
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chest and closed his eyes the world seemed to stop at that moment even the
8:35
sound of the clock could not be heard the tears from his eyes dripped onto the letter blurring some of the letters
8:42
every word was digging inside her "father," came out of his lips in a
8:47
choked voice he took a deep breath but it was as if his breath filled his past
8:53
not his lungs regret sank into his chest he clenched his fists then slowly opened
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them his eyes were still on the letter he read it again then once more
9:07
he didn't leave the office until midnight the phone rang and rang but he didn't return any of them he took out
9:14
old photos from his drawer he looked at one from his wedding with Ceil they were smiling then a childhood photo of her
9:21
and Sara a shot of them holding a small airplane then a photo of Ilka as a baby
9:27
and finally a secret photo taken with Mellis he looked at it for a long time
9:33
he smiled but his eyes carried a deep pain what has brought us to this she asked
9:39
herself then he slowly tore the photo with me pieces of it slipped out of his
9:44
hand and fell on the table in the morning he started to pack his suitcase
9:50
he packed only a few clothes a book a letter and an old map of his childhood
9:55
the map was unnecessary but it gave him the meaning of the journey before boarding the plane he sent a short
10:02
message to Ceil in his message he said that he didn't deserve forgiveness but his father had forgiven him he added
10:09
that he hoped one day she could forgive him too she asked him to take good care of the
10:14
children and for the first time she wrote that she was going on a journey for
10:19
herself she didn't wait for an answer perhaps she was too tired to take any
10:25
answer anymore when he arrived in town the streets were still familiar everything was the same but there was
10:31
something missing his father was no longer there the funeral had already happened as she walked to the cemetery
10:39
her steps were heavy with every step she was walking with traces of the past her
10:46
school years the way her mother stroked her hair her father's silent but sincere
10:52
gaze it was all in her mind the grave was marked with a simple stone only this
10:58
was written on it ibrahim Deerasage 1943 2025 and underneath it was this sentence
11:06
where hearts know and tongues are silent alian knelt down and bent over the grave
11:12
he touched the soil he bowed his head slowly i wish I had come earlier father
11:18
he said in a low voice then he repeated only I wish the tears flowed silently
11:25
and mingled with the earth the child growing inside him was now silently apologizing after his
11:32
father some paths were walked only in retrospect and some forgiveness was
11:37
experienced only in silence his first night in town was quiet but that silence
11:42
was filled with thousands of voices echoing inside Alian when he returned to his father's
11:48
house he opened the door not with a key but with memories everything was in its
11:55
place even the arrangement of the armchairs had not changed yellowed books
12:00
on the shelves the painting his mother had painted on the wall the old radio in the corner she sat on one of the
12:07
armchairs and closed her eyes at that moment she remembered her father's hands smelling of coffee her mother's knitted
12:14
shawls the rooster sounds that started before the morning call to prayer how
12:19
distant she had been how foreign she had become to all these details that night
12:25
she did not eat anything at the table where she sat alone he only made eye contact with the empty chair he watched
12:32
the image of his father sitting in that chair for years he listened to the silence in that silence was his father's
12:39
voice every silence was now telling him something the next morning he woke up early the sun had just risen he sat on
12:47
the bench in front of the house and started drinking tea he had the letter in his hand again he had read it many
12:53
times but each time it seemed to have a different meaning at that moment an old man
12:59
approached him his hair was white and his eyes were full of tears there was a
13:04
scent of roses on the lapel of his jacket he sat down next to him and greeted him "you are the son of Ibrahim
13:11
aren't you?" he asked alian nodded his head in agreement the man smiled
13:17
slightly and said "He waited a long time for you." Then he looked off into the
13:22
distance and continued every morning he would sit on this bench and watch for you she always
13:29
waited for you even though she knew you wouldn't come a part of her heart never gave up on you alian averted his eyes i
13:37
know he said quietly the old man was silent for a while then he put his hand
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on Ali's shoulder and said "Some people are silent when they love son your
13:48
father was like that." He couldn't say "Don't go to you even once." But every time you left a piece of him was ripped
13:56
out of him ali Isan's eyes filled up at that moment he bowed his head like the
14:02
moment a child realizes the mistake he has made he sighed deeply with a heavy regret that only shook his
14:10
shoulders as the days passed people in the town recognized him one by one each
14:16
one told a different story about his father some said that he ran to the sick some said that he gave the last money in
14:22
his pocket to orphaned children each story deepened the emptiness inside Alian even more one day he visited his
14:31
mother's grave that graveyard where he had come holding her hands as a child now seemed
14:38
like a place of refuge to him he placed a few white flowers on the earth "i
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couldn't come to you either Mom," he said then he fell silent for a long time
14:50
while cleaning the coal cellar of the house in town she found a chest old notebooks letters photographs and inside
14:59
was her mother's diary as she flipped through the pages one line caught her
15:04
attention ali Isan is growing up every day he grows a little further away from us but he is always a child in our
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hearts that little boy we always want to hug that night he closed the notebook
15:18
before putting out the lamp he lay down on his father's bed he buried his face
15:24
in the pillow maybe for the first time she cried so deeply in that bed it was as if
15:30
the accumulation of years was now pouring out of his eyes in the morning
15:36
he opened the window the wind coming in seemed to carry a breath from the past enough she said to herself it
15:43
doesn't pass by running away or forgetting whatever we have experienced we carry it inside us every day he spent
15:51
in the town was melting the ice inside him the questions he asked himself changed not why didn't I go but why
15:59
didn't I stay and each answer made him cling to his past a little more finally he went to the old primary
16:07
school in town as soon as he stepped into the garden the voices of the children grew louder he paused for a
16:14
moment the school principal an old woman recognized him immediately mr ibrahim's son she said
16:22
with emotion your father left his mark here too we planted that tree in the
16:28
garden together alien approached the tree he touched its branches the light filtering through the leaves was hitting
16:34
his face "i want to leave a mark too," he said quietly and that day he decided
16:40
he would return to town he would change his life not to devote it to the unfinished accounts of the past but to
16:47
make every second meaningful he was now laying the first brick to rebuild himself alian was now part of the town
16:55
more people greeted him as he walked down the street the old woman at the bakery gave him an extra bagel every
17:01
morning saying "For your father's sake my son." The green grosser had already made a note in his account book you
17:08
can't write to Alian he too was surprised even though he had been away for years he was
17:14
welcomed not as a stranger but as someone who was missed but some nights
17:19
he still couldn't sleep most of all when he thought of that woman Ellif she had left him where it all began or maybe
17:26
where it all ended they hadn't been able to talk face to face nor had there been a real goodbye only silence had remained
17:33
between them a deep silence that spanned years one morning he walked out of town to the old railroad station a place that
17:41
had seemed like an adventure in his childhood now it seemed like a place where time had frozen the trains no
17:48
longer passed but memories still walked the same tracks he sat on the stones at the edge of the tracks in his hand was a
17:54
torn page from his mother's diary her mother had written the following sentence on that page some roads are for
18:00
turning back but some are for finding yourself again while that sentence was spinning in his mind he took out an old
18:08
photograph from his pocket it was the only photo he and Ell had taken together
18:13
as the sun was setting there was an indescribable piece on their faces "i can't burn this," he said to himself
18:21
"but this time I will face it." The next day she went to the town library she had
18:27
heard that Elef was still working there when she opened the door the smell of dust and the heavy silence of the books
18:33
greeted her his heart squeezed as he walked between the shelves then their
18:39
eyes met alif slowly closed the book in her hand there was a look of surprise on
18:45
her face but also a familiar resentment they looked at each other for a few seconds without saying anything "hello
18:52
Alif," Ali Ean said his voice was soft a little shaky
18:58
alif bowed her head but didn't take her eyes off him i knew you would be here she said some things don't change in
19:05
this town alian smiled i wish some things never changed he said but I have
19:12
changed at least I'm trying alif's voice was dull years have passed Alian when
19:19
you left you left everything incomplete nothing is complete alian
19:25
nodded i know he said and I was left incomplete too like half a man in the
19:31
middle of everything there was silence for a while a breeze through the shelves
19:36
turned the pages then Alif spoke why did you come because I don't expect to be
19:43
forgiven but I realized that I can't live without confrontation he said alif
19:48
narrowed her eyes this is not a confrontation this is a belated apology
19:54
ali Kxan took a deep breath even if it's late I want to do the right thing i will
20:01
stay in this town i want to make peace not only with my past but also with myself alif opened the book in her hand
20:08
again then forgive yourself first because I still haven't forgiven myself
20:14
this word stabbed Alian's heart like a knife but he did not run away because
20:19
running away was no longer the solution after that day everything did not change
20:25
in an instant aliv stayed away but Ali Isan did not give up he volunteered at
20:31
school helped the library built a home for stray cats the town's people embraced him even more gradually the
20:38
shadows of the past began to give way to new lights one afternoon he knocked on AI's door she held her mother's diary in
20:46
her hand "i want to show you something," he said alif hesitated but opened the
20:52
door he handed her the diary one of the pages was left open he loves Alif very
20:58
much but he cannot fight his fears i hope one day his fears will not get in
21:04
the way of his love alif looked at the page for a long time then she turned her eyes to Ali Assan this time there was no
21:12
anger in his eyes there was only deep fatigue and understanding you cannot erase the past
21:18
he said "I'm not trying to erase it." Alian said "But I can learn to live with
21:24
it." They were on the threshold of the door between darkness and light and
21:30
maybe for the first time they were looking in the same direction halif read the diary over and
21:36
over that evening on every page she confronted the inner voice of Ali Isan's
21:41
mother her words came from far beyond time and penetrated Alif on one page she
21:47
wrote "One cannot throw away some loves because they live in the soul not in the
21:52
heart." She couldn't sleep until the morning she sat in front of the window
21:57
coffee mug in his hand the dull color of insomnia in his eyes "when does
22:03
forgiving someone become forgiving ourselves?" he muttered because she was
22:09
secretly resentful not only to Ali Asan but also to herself for loving him for
22:15
waiting for him for not being able to give him up the next day they met in the
22:20
town square alif looked at the way Ali Isan walked his head was held high as it
22:26
used to be but now he was carrying another weight inside him ali Isan stopped when he saw her he
22:33
smiled but cautiously good morning he said elif
22:39
responded good morning silence fell between them for a few seconds but this time the silence
22:46
was not foreign it was like a familiar old friend thank you for yesterday a
22:53
leaf said reading your mother's lines opened another door in me ali Isan
22:59
nodded she loved you very much she always kept notes about you maybe she
23:05
understood us the most alf sighed maybe
23:11
but having someone who understands is not enough sometimes things don't change ali Ean took a deep breath i know
23:20
nothing will ever be the same and it shouldn't be anyway but can you give it
23:25
a chance a friendship or just mutual silence as long as we are not strangers
23:31
ilf put her hands in her coat pockets sometimes it is easier to be a stranger
23:36
she said but her voice was not harsh there was something inside her that was beginning to soften alian accepted in
23:44
silence he didn't force it he turned and started walking just as they were walking away Alf Alian he turned around
23:53
they locked eyes stop by the library today it would be good if you could help
23:59
some books have been moved between the shelves he said a light shone in Alian's
24:05
eyes "i would love to," he said elf smiled slightly "just take care of the
24:12
books," she added "i promised the books," Ali Ean said "they worked
24:18
together for the rest of the day." The conversations were short but meaningful
24:24
each book each touch softened the silence between them a little more the
24:29
sharp edges of the past slowly began to be filed away that night Alif wrote her
24:35
own note on a page of the diary some wounds scab over not with time but with
24:41
confrontation and sometimes the things we fear the most bring us the most peace
24:46
the library was quiet during the day when Alif and Ali Isan were putting the books away their eyes spoke more than
24:53
words sometimes their hands reached for the same book sometimes they stood on the same page but they did not speak the
25:02
silence no longer bothered them alif even began to find peace in that silence
25:07
towards sunset Alian was taking a book down from the top shelf when an old photograph fell to the floor it was a
25:14
yellowed headsh shot with frayed edges a young woman and a tiny child beside her
25:19
a leaf took the photo in her hand "isn't that you and your mother?"
25:25
she asked alian shook his head my mom obviously stuck it between her books
25:32
maybe to remind me to forget alf looked carefully there was a
25:38
sadness in the woman's eyes similar to Al ifs sometimes the past comes out of nowhere and says "I am here." Alf said
25:46
"No matter how far we go." Alian took a deep breath i never wanted to leave you
25:52
alif i just didn't have the courage to stay alf turned her face away when you
25:59
left everything was left unfinished i even distanced myself from myself in
26:04
order to collect those halves ali Isan came closer i thought about those days a
26:10
thousand times i wish I could have acted differently wishes don't bring back what
26:16
was lost Elif said but maybe they help us understand things better they were
26:21
silent for a moment the air became heavy everything they had silenced inside was circulating in the air like an invisible
26:28
vapor alif Alian said "I need to ask you something you don't have to answer."
26:35
Alif raised her head "ask do you still love me a little?"
26:40
Alif took a deep breath she lowered her eyes to the ground "i never left you i
26:47
just silenced my love i only carried it inside me
26:53
ali Isan's voice was low but clear then can we have a chance alf's voice
27:00
trembled maybe but this time nothing should be rushed because if we break
27:08
this time we can't come together ali Isan nodded his head i promise this time
27:15
I have come to learn how to wait and how to understand alif smiled slowly it was a
27:21
fragile but sincere smile the point is not to start she said the important
27:27
thing is to continue ali Isan didn't say anything at that moment he just sat next to her and
27:34
they watched the sunset together no past no future there was only the moment
27:42
silence but this time full of hope ali Isan remained silent for a long time
27:47
after Alif's words the turmoil inside him the weight he had been carrying for
27:52
years seemed to find a reflection in Alif's eyes in that moment when Alif
27:57
decided to stay with him after so many years she realized how cruel time was
28:02
even though they wanted to fill the emptiness inside each other they both had deep wounds in their
28:08
souls one evening as he was putting Alif's books away he found an old envelope on the table alian was written
28:17
on the envelope in a familiar handwriting she immediately opened it
28:22
and read the letter inside the letter revived memories Alif had tried to forget for
28:27
years this was the last letter from Ali Isan's father dear son there is a
28:34
heaviness in me as I write these lines to you it breaks my heart as a father to see what time has done to you it is
28:41
impossible not to see Cecile's tears in the absence of her children but I have
28:46
realized something i have waited for years to bring back your lost soul but
28:52
maybe the way to find you again is not to bring you back to this town i was proud of you but I lost you my son
28:58
losing someone like you in this world was first and foremost my own fault and now I must tell you this come if you can
29:06
still find me in you come back slowly but surely "Come back forever your
29:12
father." Elif handed the letter to Ali Isan with tears in her eyes "ali your
29:19
father's last words will this letter really change you?" Ali Isan put the letter down as he took it "everything is
29:26
too late for me Alif what I have written will not change me." Alif took a deep
29:32
breath in front of Ali Isan no Ali Isan it is not too late the point
29:40
is if you are not going to change then nothing will be left behind ali Isan
29:46
grimaced sometimes you can't change the past alif for people like us it's not
29:51
possible one cannot forgive oneself by changing the past but by making peace
29:56
with the past by taking a step towards it we can start again think Alif said
30:04
with power in her voice if you don't change then no one can change then no
30:11
one will forgive you for a moment everything was silent the warmth of the air was as oppressive
30:18
as the accumulated emotions in their bodies alf's words penetrated Ali Isan
30:24
for a long time they looked at each other without saying anything then Ali Isan got up from his seat without a
30:31
moment's hesitation come he said we are leaving
30:37
alf looked at him with doubt in her eyes where too alian held out his hand and
30:44
there was determination in his eyes to Techepe the town was now
30:50
asleep as the silence slowly approached the morning there were two silhouettes walking towards Teepe ali Isan and Alif
30:58
were approaching each other step by step in the darkness with each step towards Teepe they were both trying to face the
31:06
past trying to reclaim what they had lost when they reached Teepe the town
31:12
lay below like an abandoned dream the moonlight painted the old stone silver and everything was frozen alian sat at
31:19
the grave holding Alif's hand this was the last place my father told me i must
31:25
be here alif bowed her head and said "Then you should be here at peace with your past."
31:32
Ali Isan took out the letter and put it in Alif's hand "you read this." Alf took
31:37
a deep breath and began to read her father's last words each word filled the gaps inside her a little more as she
31:44
read her eyes filled and her lips trembled at the end of the letter there was a change in Alian's eyes the wounds
31:52
of the past hurt less now at that moment he felt completely at peace with the
31:59
past can you forgive me alian asked looking into Alif's eyes alif took a
32:06
deep breath forgiveness will not bring you anything back Alian but I love you and I always have
32:13
you don't have to carry the past as a burden anymore in that moment everything
32:19
changed alian was leaving his past and stepping into a new beginning
32:26
as Alf and Ali Isan returned to the town together there was a glimmer of hope
32:31
even in the dark streets of the