0:00
The silence was the loudest part.
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It wasn't a silent house. The hum of the
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refrigerator, the distant rumble of a
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garbage truck, the creek of old
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floorboards settling.
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But inside my head, there was only a
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vast roaring emptiness where the sound
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of my life used to be. My world had
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imploded, and all that was left was the
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ringing in my ears. I had been so sure,
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so certain that I had built something
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Jake and I, we were the hallmark movie
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cliche my mother had always wanted for
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me. We met when I was 21, a fresh-faced
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graduate with dreams of helping children
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speak. He was a construction worker, all
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calloused hands and a disarming smile.
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He wasn't a prince, but he was my
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anchor. For 3 years, I'd been his steady
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ground. I paid the bills, bought the
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groceries, and held his hand through job
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changes and injuries. I didn't mind. I
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believed in the foundation we were
1:01
building. My family believed in him,
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too. My mother, especially saw him as
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the man my late father had been, a
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provider, a protector. He mowed her
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lawn, fixed her car, and became a
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fixture at every family barbecue. He was
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funny, charming, and effortlessly became
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one of us. He was family before he was
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even my husband. And then there was
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Lena, my cousin, the human embodiment of
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She was chaos and charisma wrapped in a
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new daring outfit every other week. She
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was the family's little darling, her
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reckless nature excused as just Lena
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being Lena. She could crash a car, lose
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a job, or stir up drama, and my mother
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would be the first to rush to her aid.
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My own struggles, my own heartaches were
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met with a dismissive, "Don't be so
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sensitive." There was a subtle rivalry
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between us, a strange dance of teasing
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remarks and thinly veiled barbs that I
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always chose to ignore. When I'd
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mentioned Jake, she'd joke, "If you ever
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leave him, I call dibs."
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Everyone would laugh. I didn't, but I
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let it go. That's what you do for
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family, right? The changes in Jake were
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insidious at first. A little more
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distance here, a little less affection
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there. He began working late more often,
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but the stress of his job seemed to
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vanish. He started wearing cologne
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again, a scent he hadn't worn since our
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third anniversary. His phone was always
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face down on the table. My gut, a loyal
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sentinel, began to sound the alarm. The
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dam finally broke, not with a fight, but
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with a scent. He came home late one
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night and when I hugged him, his shirt
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smelled of a perfume I didn't own. A
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floral, overly sweet fragrance. When I
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asked him about it, he laughed and said
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a coworker had hugged him. A guy, he
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insisted. But when I looked him in the
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eyes and asked again, the mask slipped.
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The laughter died and he looked away.
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"Are you sleeping with someone?" I
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asked. The words felt foreign in my
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mouth. He didn't deny it. I didn't mean
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for it to happen," he said as if my
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heart were a vase he had accidentally
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bumped. "Who?" I asked, my voice a
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whisper. The hesitation, the way he
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swallowed hard, confirmed it was someone
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he didn't want to name, someone close.
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When he finally whispered, "Lena," the
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world tilted. It wasn't just heartbreak.
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It was a new, vicious kind of pain, a
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betrayal that tore through the very
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fabric of my reality. I went to the
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bathroom and was sick. That night, I
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kicked him out. He tried to argue, to
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rationalize, to claim it was just a few
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times. I wasn't listening. The world I
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had so painstakingly built was crumbling
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around me, and I couldn't bear to be in
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the same space where I had been so
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The next morning, I made the mistake of
4:00
calling my mother. I expected her fury,
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her righteous indignation on my behalf.
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What I got was a clinical, "Well, that's
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really unfortunate, but maybe you two
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were having issues." Then the twist of
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the knife. "You know how Lena is. She
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gets attached to people who treat her
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well. I'm your daughter," I said, the
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words a raw plea. "And she's my niece,"
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she replied as if that were the final
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word. Then she said a phrase that would
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haunt me for years. "Maybe this is what
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My siblings were no better. My brother
4:36
claimed he didn't want to take sides.
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And my sister said she saw it coming.
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Lena's mother, my aunt, called me to say
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I should let love be love. In less than
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2 weeks, my marriage was over, and my
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family had welcomed Jake and Lena with
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open arms. They were the new golden
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My mother hosted a barbecue and posted
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pictures of Jake at the grill, a silent,
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cruel declaration of her allegiance.
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I was exiled, a ghost in my own family.
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The betrayal hollowed me out. I moved
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into a tiny one-bedroom apartment across
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town. I didn't fight for the house
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because the thought of living in the
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same walls that had witnessed his
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deception was unbearable.
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I lost 12 lb in 3 weeks, food tasting
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like ash. I would sit for hours, a
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vacant stare fixed on a wall, a physical
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manifestation of the nothingness inside
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My best friend Tasha was my lifeline.
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She came over every night bringing
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groceries, sitting with me, and holding
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my hand. She never asked stupid
5:43
questions or told me to be the bigger
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person. She just stayed. Meanwhile, Lena
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and Jake were flaunting their new life
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on social media. A trip to Florida,
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matching sunglasses, my mother's
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comments of you deserve this under
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pictures of them kissing. That was the
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last straw. I blocked her. I blocked
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most of them. The sight of their smiling
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faces as they celebrated the people who
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had gutted me was a constant unbearable
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I couldn't comprehend their easy
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They acted as if my devastation were an
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inconvenience, an unsightly mess they
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didn't want to clean up. It took me 8
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months to feel the first stirrings of
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life again. Therapy initially was just a
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room where I sat in resentful silence.
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But my therapist, Denise, a quiet woman
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with a profound stillness, waited.
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Eventually, the damn broke, and I told
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her everything. She listened and then
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asked a question that stopped me cold.
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Who are you without them? I didn't have
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an answer. So, I began the slow, painful
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process of finding one. I started with a
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small act of rebellion.
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I dyed my hair a rich dark red, a color
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Lena had always said wouldn't suit me.
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I adopted a scrappy little mut from the
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shelter named Pepper, whose snoring
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became a strange comforting sound. I
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began running just a few blocks at
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first. But the sweat and the burn made
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me feel alive, a reminder that my body
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was more than just a vessel for pain. I
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made new friends, people from a book
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club, a co-orker, a neighbor.
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They were kind, uncomplicated, and their
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relationships with me were built on a
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clean slate. I stopped checking social
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media. I started sleeping through the
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night, and I got a big promotion at
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work. My boss said she'd never seen
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someone come back from a personal low
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with so much fire. I smiled and said,
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"Thank you." And later cried in the
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bathroom, tears of gratitude for someone
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finally seeing my effort without a
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filter of past betrayals. I don't know
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when it happened, but one day I realized
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I hadn't thought about Jake. The ache in
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my chest was gone. The wound was still
8:00
there, but it had scarred over. It was
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no longer an open wound, but a part of
8:05
my history. It no longer defined me. A
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year and a half after the divorce, I
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hosted a dinner party. It was a small
8:13
affair. Me, Tasha, my new boyfriend,
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Aaron, and a few friends. Aaron was
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everything Jake wasn't. gentle, kind,
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and content to listen more than he
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spoke. He loved Pepper and brought
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flowers just because.
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We ate, we laughed, and I found myself
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looking around my small apartment, at
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the people who had become my chosen
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family, at the life I had built from the
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wreckage, and I felt a profound sense of
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pride. Just when I thought the past was
8:42
truly behind me, it came crawling back.
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First, a text from my mother. Hi,
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sweetie. It's about Lena. It's
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complicated. Then a text from Lena
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herself. I know you probably hate me. I
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deserve it, but I could really use your
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help. My heart hammered against my ribs.
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I did what any woman with a sense of
9:02
self-preservation and a touch of
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justifiable pettiness would do. I called
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Tasha. We sat on my couch scrolling
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through Lena's public Instagram.
9:13
The timeline of their perfect life was
9:15
over. No more couple selfies. No more my
9:18
ride or die captions. The pictures were
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now of Lena holding a newborn. The
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comments were telling, "Is Jake the
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father?" No reply. "Some men aren't
9:28
worth the energy." No reply. There was
9:32
no trace of him. I felt nothing. No
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anger, no vindication, just a quiet,
9:37
bone deep clarity. They were a house
9:40
built on sand. It was only a matter of
9:42
time before the tide came in and washed
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it away. Lena's impulsiveness. Jake's
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spinelessness. It was a combination that
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could never last. A few days later, a
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letter arrived in my mailbox. Not a
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text, not an email, but a physical
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letter with Lena's handwriting. Inside,
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a single sheet of notebook paper.
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I know I don't deserve your kindness,
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Jake left 3 months ago. He said he
10:08
wasn't cut out for the dad life. I'm
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working two jobs and I can't keep up. I
10:13
miss you. I'm sorry.
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I stared at the letter, then lit a match
10:18
and watched it burn in my kitchen sink.
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The acrid smell of burnt paper filling
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the air. A week later, my mother called.
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I know you're still angry, but Lena is
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going through a lot. We all are. I was
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hoping you might come by for Sunday
10:34
dinner. We miss you. I laughed out loud.
10:38
We miss you. Where was that missing when
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I was curled up on the floor of a bare
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apartment begging for someone to pick up
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the phone? Where was it when they were
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cheering on the new golden couple? They
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didn't miss me. They missed the version
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of me that was a doormat. The one who
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swallowed her pain and smiled through
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the betrayal to keep the peace. That
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woman was dead. I made a decision. I
11:03
threw a party. A carefully curated
11:05
dinner with my real family. Tasha,
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Aaron, my new friends.
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I wore a new dress, a bold red, a symbol
11:14
of my new life. I made sure to post
11:17
pictures, a selfie of me and my friends
11:19
raising glasses. A group shot with the
11:22
caption, "Family isn't always blood."
11:25
The messages came in almost immediately.
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My sister, you look amazing. Miss you.
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Maybe we could talk. My mother, you seem
11:35
happy. I'm glad. just wish we could be
11:37
part of it. And finally, Lena, saw your
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post. I get it. I deserve the cold
11:44
shoulder. Just please don't hate my
11:46
daughter because of me. She didn't
11:48
choose any of this. That last one gave
11:51
me pause. Not because I felt
11:53
forgiveness, but because I realized she
11:56
truly thought I was capable of taking
11:57
her sins out on a child. It said more
12:01
about her than it ever could about me. I
12:04
didn't reply to any of them. I didn't
12:06
need to. They had made their choice when
12:09
it counted. They chose convenience over
12:12
character, cruelty over compassion,
12:14
image over integrity. I had built a new
12:17
life, brick by painful brick, without a
12:21
single one of them. And now that they
12:23
were drowning in the mess they had made,
12:26
they wanted me to be their life raft.
12:28
But I wasn't a raft anymore. I was the
12:31
goddamn ocean. A few months later, I saw
12:34
Jake at the grocery store. He looked
12:36
smaller, somehow, diminished. He was
12:39
buying cheap beer and a frozen pizza. He
12:42
didn't recognize me at first. When he
12:44
did, his eyes widened. He opened his
12:47
mouth to say something. I didn't stop. I
12:50
just walked past him, head held high,
12:52
holding a bottle of imported wine and a
12:54
bouquet of fresh flowers. I never looked
12:57
back. Let them drown in the mess they
12:59
made. I was already gone and I wasn't