Ranking The Sexiest Super Mario Bros. Characters Of All Time?

It's a sexy episode

What happened here? Remember we do a sexy edition of Ranked vs. Rank? It's not for you kids

Hey, guys. I'm Jack O'Shea. And I'm Mikaela Pascal. And this is Ranked vs. Ranked, the show where we each rank

our top five favorite things about an exciting topic, and then you tell us who made the best list. Today, Mikaela, we're going to be ranking the top five sexiest

Nintendo video game characters. Basically, everybody who's in the Super Smash Bros. franchise

Who is your Super Smash? You don't touch that mushroom, you'll die

There's going to be a lot of weird answers here. We had to narrow it down to sexiest Nintendo characters

because the problem is there's so many video games now where they literally are trying to be sexy

and they're like... Kind of unfair. Anybody from Final Fantasy... Yeah. The men are wearing crazy armor. Yeah

And the women are wearing loincloths. And sometimes they fight and they're like, that's not fair

You can't look on the Nintendo wiki for any of the ages

They feel like beings that don't really have ages. So that's not even... The cartoon characters, this is very, very similar

to when we did the sexiest animated characters. It's like, let's cut some slack, guys

My number five, I'm gonna go Princess Daisy. Okay? I feel like she's a little underrated

just because, you know, Peach is around. When you think of the princess, you think of Peach

She's the Luigi of two main princesses. Yes. Try to put her on the list, because I think she's cute

She's got the cute little yellow dress on. She's a cute little brunette girl. Not like jet black hair, but like a nice girl brunette. Modest

She, though, has always rubbed me off in the way of like, she's modest, but actually it's like, no, she's so much freakier

than Princess Peach. Yeah, she's a lady in the streets. Freak in the sheets

Real freaking artist. She's the, she is of the princesses, you know

between Rosie, Peach, and Daisy, where it's like, which one do you think got knocked up out of Weatherlock

I think Daisy. Yeah. Mario? Who's this? Eh, my mom. My number five is Princess Peach

I had to give her some respect to me I spent so much of my life fighting for her safety Of course You sort of build affection for people in such a way The reason why she not higher up on my list is she just does seem a little bit proper

I think that she is the nice girl you marry, maybe introduced to your grandmother

but it's going to be a very vanilla life. Am I the nice girl? You're both, baby

You're like that ice cream with the three flavors, strawberry, vanilla, and chocolate. You got it all, baby

Princess Peach, really just sort of more of the vanilla. She's going to have two very well-behaved boys

that she's gonna dress very well. They're gonna go to private school and they're not gonna talk back

Don't speak unless you're spoken to. Don't laugh, don't smile. She's obviously gorgeous

I mean, we got a plumber who's sacrificing his life against dinosaur turtles

Clearly she's got something under that pink dress. Something she's caked up under there. Yeah

I cannot eat a page for hours. My number four, look at Waluigi

The tall guy. He's the tall scrawny guy. Any of that tall scrawny guy's that we have

Huge . I'm getting like the Pete Davidson vibes from him where it's like, I understand why we feel this way towards this man

It's not necessarily attractive, but I feel it. Waluigi was thrilled when the emo scene and the skinny jeans scene. Yeah

Because there was all of a sudden went from being like, what's considered sexy for men, shifted to the heroin chic for men. Yes

He's all legs. He's legs for days. He's naughty too. He's a bad guy. Bad boy

He's got a cool voice. Yeah. Just in, while Luigi is Pete Davidson

I feel like Italian people are almost like waiting for someone in their family to die

My number four, Luigi. He is the taller, I think younger brother to Mario

He's the Scottie Pippen to Mario's Michael Jordan. Yeah. Where, no matter what, he's underrated

and he working his ass off Luigi going to be listening to you Mario doesn have to listen Yeah Luigi like I got to put in the effort And he just done the reps enough where he involved He definitely the Harrier of the Mario Brothers Yeah

Are their last names Mario too? I believe so. I think they're Mario Mario and Luigi Mario

I think Super Mario Brothers. Italians. Babidi boopi, babidi boopi, babidi babidi

I've never thought about that before. My number three is Princess Peach. You gotta give props to the franchise baddie

The whole franchise is around this baddie, you know? She's got all the boys flaunting over her

You know, they are risking their lives. They're kidnapping. They're committing crimes for her

I like a woman with power. Well, there was always a part of me, even when I didn't really understand how anything worked

where I was like, I think that she wasn't kidnapped. I think that she... She's running away to Bowser

She's running away to the Big Daddy mob boss. And we're not victim blaming here. I'm not saying that it's her fault that she got kidnapped

No, I'm thinking that she is maybe trying to get into a little trouble

I think so too. She's trying to have a little bit of fun with the bad boy and being like, oh no, he stole me

because she's not supposed to be with him. She likes the working class guy

She likes the plumber. She's the princess of the people. Yeah, but I had to put her at the number three. What's your number three

My number three was your number five, which is Princess Daisy. So we traded off reason fives here

I love a brunette. I'm wearing a brunette guy myself. Brunettes are freaky

And I'm not shaming. No, we are applauding. Boo, you . The way she's wearing that pixelated dress

She isn't chasing the limelight she enjoys because that gives her the ability to have

Secret yeah, are the princesses sisters. I have no idea. I don't think so

I don't think so either Two I gotta give it to my boy Luigi. There you go. You know, he's the taller one. Yeah

He seems like the more gentle mysterious lover Yeah I feel like he a romantic even though it Mario Who like doing the big romantic gesture It feels very flashy It feels a little bit about Mario I think he doing it for the glory I don know if he doing it for the girl I think Luigi has other hobbies outside of these adventures

He's creative. Also, he wears green and green was my favorite color as a kid

It's your favorite color now. It still is my favorite color. He's a righteous dude. I always pick Luigi, I'm a Luigi gal

You know, the height doesn't hurt. My number two is Big Bad Bowser

That's my number one. That's your number one. How do you put Bowser in my number one? What is it about him

I think it's power. He's powerful. He's bad and personally as a Godzilla gal. Yeah, this shouldn't come as a shot. No

Dungeons kind of sexy. Oh, yeah Dungeon put it this way when he built that dungeon he wasn't like I'm gonna keep prisoners there. He had it for other

It's consensual. He's got the power. He's got the shell with a lot of phallus shaped things coming off of it

He's big Okay, so my numero uno, Samus or Samus

I'm not sure if you know, you would recognize Super Smash Bros. It's the character who's in the robot-looking costume

I assume everybody watching this actually knew that already. All you sexists out there who are like, what are you talking about

I thought Samus was a guy. So did I. I'm sexist then, I guess, too. But it turns out, no, Samus is a beautiful warrior woman

because she's very, very athletic, and she is a tough cookie. She can harness energy

I think that would come into play in the bedroom to some degree. Now, the second we were talking about doing this as an episode

I was like, Samus is one. We think Mario's overhyped. I guess so

I still am a fan. And we love our short kings. It's a me, a Mario

But Luigi's packing, and we all know it. It's always the quiet guys

Sorry, I can hear you. Sorry, I'm so quiet. Sorry, I'm so quiet

Thank you