The Super Mario Bros. cast of characters has evolved exponentially over the course of the franchises history. With each new generation Super Mario Bros. graphics get clearer and a little sharper. But which Super Mario Bros. character will rank as the absolute sexiest?
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It's a sexy episode
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What happened here? Remember we do a sexy edition of Ranked vs. Rank? It's not for you kids
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Hey, guys. I'm Jack O'Shea. And I'm Mikaela Pascal. And this is Ranked vs. Ranked, the show where we each rank
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our top five favorite things about an exciting topic, and then you tell us who made the best list. Today, Mikaela, we're going to be ranking the top five sexiest
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Nintendo video game characters. Basically, everybody who's in the Super Smash Bros. franchise
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Who is your Super Smash? You don't touch that mushroom, you'll die
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There's going to be a lot of weird answers here. We had to narrow it down to sexiest Nintendo characters
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because the problem is there's so many video games now where they literally are trying to be sexy
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and they're like... Kind of unfair. Anybody from Final Fantasy... Yeah. The men are wearing crazy armor. Yeah
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And the women are wearing loincloths. And sometimes they fight and they're like, that's not fair
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You can't look on the Nintendo wiki for any of the ages
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They feel like beings that don't really have ages. So that's not even... The cartoon characters, this is very, very similar
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to when we did the sexiest animated characters. It's like, let's cut some slack, guys
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My number five, I'm gonna go Princess Daisy. Okay? I feel like she's a little underrated
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just because, you know, Peach is around. When you think of the princess, you think of Peach
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She's the Luigi of two main princesses. Yes. Try to put her on the list, because I think she's cute
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She's got the cute little yellow dress on. She's a cute little brunette girl. Not like jet black hair, but like a nice girl brunette. Modest
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She, though, has always rubbed me off in the way of like, she's modest, but actually it's like, no, she's so much freakier
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than Princess Peach. Yeah, she's a lady in the streets. Freak in the sheets
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Real freaking artist. She's the, she is of the princesses, you know
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between Rosie, Peach, and Daisy, where it's like, which one do you think got knocked up out of Weatherlock
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I think Daisy. Yeah. Mario? Who's this? Eh, my mom. My number five is Princess Peach
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I had to give her some respect to me I spent so much of my life fighting for her safety Of course You sort of build affection for people in such a way The reason why she not higher up on my list is she just does seem a little bit proper
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I think that she is the nice girl you marry, maybe introduced to your grandmother
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but it's going to be a very vanilla life. Am I the nice girl? You're both, baby
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You're like that ice cream with the three flavors, strawberry, vanilla, and chocolate. You got it all, baby
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Princess Peach, really just sort of more of the vanilla. She's going to have two very well-behaved boys
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that she's gonna dress very well. They're gonna go to private school and they're not gonna talk back
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Don't speak unless you're spoken to. Don't laugh, don't smile. She's obviously gorgeous
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I mean, we got a plumber who's sacrificing his life against dinosaur turtles
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Clearly she's got something under that pink dress. Something she's caked up under there. Yeah
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I cannot eat a page for hours. My number four, look at Waluigi
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The tall guy. He's the tall scrawny guy. Any of that tall scrawny guy's that we have
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Huge . I'm getting like the Pete Davidson vibes from him where it's like, I understand why we feel this way towards this man
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It's not necessarily attractive, but I feel it. Waluigi was thrilled when the emo scene and the skinny jeans scene. Yeah
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Because there was all of a sudden went from being like, what's considered sexy for men, shifted to the heroin chic for men. Yes
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He's all legs. He's legs for days. He's naughty too. He's a bad guy. Bad boy
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He's got a cool voice. Yeah. Just in, while Luigi is Pete Davidson
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I feel like Italian people are almost like waiting for someone in their family to die
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My number four, Luigi. He is the taller, I think younger brother to Mario
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He's the Scottie Pippen to Mario's Michael Jordan. Yeah. Where, no matter what, he's underrated
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and he working his ass off Luigi going to be listening to you Mario doesn have to listen Yeah Luigi like I got to put in the effort And he just done the reps enough where he involved He definitely the Harrier of the Mario Brothers Yeah
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Are their last names Mario too? I believe so. I think they're Mario Mario and Luigi Mario
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I think Super Mario Brothers. Italians. Babidi boopi, babidi boopi, babidi babidi
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I've never thought about that before. My number three is Princess Peach. You gotta give props to the franchise baddie
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The whole franchise is around this baddie, you know? She's got all the boys flaunting over her
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You know, they are risking their lives. They're kidnapping. They're committing crimes for her
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I like a woman with power. Well, there was always a part of me, even when I didn't really understand how anything worked
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where I was like, I think that she wasn't kidnapped. I think that she... She's running away to Bowser
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She's running away to the Big Daddy mob boss. And we're not victim blaming here. I'm not saying that it's her fault that she got kidnapped
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No, I'm thinking that she is maybe trying to get into a little trouble
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I think so too. She's trying to have a little bit of fun with the bad boy and being like, oh no, he stole me
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because she's not supposed to be with him. She likes the working class guy
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She likes the plumber. She's the princess of the people. Yeah, but I had to put her at the number three. What's your number three
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My number three was your number five, which is Princess Daisy. So we traded off reason fives here
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I love a brunette. I'm wearing a brunette guy myself. Brunettes are freaky
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And I'm not shaming. No, we are applauding. Boo, you . The way she's wearing that pixelated dress
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She isn't chasing the limelight she enjoys because that gives her the ability to have
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Secret yeah, are the princesses sisters. I have no idea. I don't think so
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I don't think so either Two I gotta give it to my boy Luigi. There you go. You know, he's the taller one. Yeah
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He seems like the more gentle mysterious lover Yeah I feel like he a romantic even though it Mario Who like doing the big romantic gesture It feels very flashy It feels a little bit about Mario I think he doing it for the glory I don know if he doing it for the girl I think Luigi has other hobbies outside of these adventures
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He's creative. Also, he wears green and green was my favorite color as a kid
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It's your favorite color now. It still is my favorite color. He's a righteous dude. I always pick Luigi, I'm a Luigi gal
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You know, the height doesn't hurt. My number two is Big Bad Bowser
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That's my number one. That's your number one. How do you put Bowser in my number one? What is it about him
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I think it's power. He's powerful. He's bad and personally as a Godzilla gal. Yeah, this shouldn't come as a shot. No
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Dungeons kind of sexy. Oh, yeah Dungeon put it this way when he built that dungeon he wasn't like I'm gonna keep prisoners there. He had it for other
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It's consensual. He's got the power. He's got the shell with a lot of phallus shaped things coming off of it
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He's big Okay, so my numero uno, Samus or Samus
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I'm not sure if you know, you would recognize Super Smash Bros. It's the character who's in the robot-looking costume
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I assume everybody watching this actually knew that already. All you sexists out there who are like, what are you talking about
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I thought Samus was a guy. So did I. I'm sexist then, I guess, too. But it turns out, no, Samus is a beautiful warrior woman
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because she's very, very athletic, and she is a tough cookie. She can harness energy
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I think that would come into play in the bedroom to some degree. Now, the second we were talking about doing this as an episode
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I was like, Samus is one. We think Mario's overhyped. I guess so
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I still am a fan. And we love our short kings. It's a me, a Mario
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But Luigi's packing, and we all know it. It's always the quiet guys
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Sorry, I can hear you. Sorry, I'm so quiet. Sorry, I'm so quiet
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Thank you
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