How to not care what other people think

[Music]

Hi guys, welcome back to my channel for

another video. If you are returning

today, if you are returning today, let's

talk about how to not care about what

other people think of you because moving

into this journey, I think it's a very

crucial part of making sure that you

succeed. You just can't care what other

people think, my loves. So, let's talk

about it. Okay, so for starters, I don't

know how helpful this is going to be for

some people, but this is something that

like really helped me along the way. For

me, this helped me so much in

understanding and like validating why I

cared so much about what other people

thought. And essentially, it's that eons

ago, if we weren't liked by our tribe or

our family members or whatever, it

literally meant death. Because if people

didn't like you or you were cast aside,

it meant that you were going to be

thrown to the tigers or that you're

going to be left to starve. So to not

care what other people think is a little

bit unnatural. Um so when you're on this

path of trying to rewire your brain in a

sense, you're literally fighting against

every single instinct in your mind that

we had to go through in evolutionary

terms. So you shouldn't be angry at

yourself for the fact that you care what

other people think about you because it

is a natural thing. And um for me to

realize this was very healing and very

validating because I didn't know about

this and I didn't realize that this was

actually real. The reason that it's so

hard to center yourself is because

you're literally fighting against

everything that's most natural to you

and you're rewiring your brain. There

are a multitude of sacrifices that you

have to make while being on this path

with yourself because it is so lonely.

There are so many lonely nights and

there are so many times when you think

to yourself, "Oh my goodness, like this

is mental and um I just can't sit

through this." But at the end of the

day, you need to realize something and

it's not going to kill you. Your

emotions are too much for you. Okay,

they're just your emotions. They're not

going to kill you. You feel upset about

something. Is it so bad to the point is

where you feel like, "Oh my goodness,

I'm going to die." It might feel like

you're gonna die, but you're not gonna

die. Anytime something happens to me

that's really bad. I'm just like, "Okay,

this obviously feels terrible, but at

the end of the day, is it gonna kill me?

No, I'm still alive. So, back to my

point about like what caring what other

people think, you need to realize that

you're never going to reach your goals.

Like, you already have so much to deal

with when you're on this path and you're

figuring out your way and whatever it

is, right? Cuz you have so many

decisions to make about who you want to

be around, what kind of habits you want

to have. So, on top of that, you're

putting the burden of caring what other

people think on top of everything else,

which is making it even more harder for

you. I feel like I was supposed to

become this version of myself years ago.

Um, and I think the reason that it took

me so long is because of other people's

input about what they would have thought

of me, I literally thought I'm going to

look crazy to other people. And if I

open my mouth, I'm God knows if I would

even have friends left, you know.

Thankfully, I was wrong about that. I do

have friends left and I have really good

people around me who actually believe in

my vision. You have to realize that

people are so biased about things. I

myself, I'm very biased. in everybody

that I've ever met in my entire life and

that I know till this day is biased

because you're growing up with a certain

set of experiences and understandings

about things that you could never

possibly not have an opinion about

something. So, if somebody thinks and

it's like I hear it all the time, even

on my channel, there's a lot of people

that disagree with what I have to say

and I don't think that they're wrong for

that. If anything, there's a lot of

really interesting and very beautiful

perspectives that I don't necessarily

practice or believe in myself, but when

I read people commenting those things,

I'm I don't feel hateful toward them. If

anything, I try to open my mind up a

little bit more. Uh, and the reason I do

this, of course, I could fight them and

I could, you know, respond back to them

and say all these things, but at the end

of the day, I know that that is not the

way that I want to live my life. It's

not by my values. I really try to keep

an open mind. And part of that comes

with not caring what other people think

because it's like you're allowed, you're

every bit allowed to have an opinion and

to try and take that away from somebody

is so useless because it's a it's a

right as a human being. You have an

opinion about something. If someone

disagrees with it, it shouldn't bother

you. And the thing is 10, 20, 30 years

down the line, you're going to realize

you're not going to be sitting on your

deathbed being like, "Wow, I'm so happy

and glad that I cared what other people

thought of me. really served me and I

did everything for them and nothing for

me. Like you're not going to be happy.

You are not going to feel fulfilled and

you're going to feel like you wasted

away your whole life. And that is what

we're not here to do. It's the people

that are not afraid to be like cringey

and like say whatever it is they need to

say and like just put themselves out

there that succeed, that are wealthy,

that are healthy, that are joyful, that

are beautiful because they put

themselves in a position to bet on

themselves.

That's what they do. They know and

understand that yes, there's a huge

possibility that this could completely

go south, but I'm going to do it anyway

because I want to try for it. Even

you'll notice that when you're around

other people, if you're making friends

or something like that, you don't really

want to be around or it's just like less

enticing to be around somebody who cares

heavily what other people think of you.

So for me, my biggest thing I think

moving forward that I learned just as of

recently actually um which is that if

somebody is the type of person who wants

like praise or wants to be liked by

everyone, do not date them and do not be

friends with them. Here's why. For two

reasons, okay? One, they will look

outside of you for validation. And two,

they will go to other people to tell

them who they are. And you have to carry

the burden of tolerating that. I'm not

saying it's a bad thing for them to go

to other people and certain things for

validation. But what I'm saying is like

imagine having to deal with that

constantly on a day-to-day basis.

Somebody who has to go to so many people

to tell them who they are because they

don't know that for themselves. That to

me it just feels like the biggest red

flag. And I would never want to put

myself in that position again. You are

going to constantly attract people that

are not in your league. And by league, I

don't mean in terms of extreme like

superficialities going to like naturally

meet people who don't bring exactly the

same value that you do, but it's your

choice whether to let that into your

life or not. Don't do it. Don't do it.

Okay? Take it from somebody who's had

this experience many times before. Do

not date and do not be friends with the

people that are not in your league. And

you know what your league is. And when I

say extreme superficiality, I mean like,

oh, if I make this much money, then he

should be making just as much or three

times more. my friends should be like

this and they should wake up at 5 in the

morning just like I do. I'm not talking

about that. I'm saying your

understanding of the world, your point

of view, your perspective. You have to

in some way only really be surrounded by

people or like you're only going to

really be uplifted by people who align

in some way with your values and your

morals. And the reason that I'm saying

this, okay, before anybody goes off on

me, I mean, feel free to go off, but

here's why. You will get hurt because

those people will self-sabotage in some

way. If the person is self-aware enough,

they will realize that you are too good

for them and they will treat you like

that because they don't believe that

they're good enough for you. You're

going to take it personally, thinking

it's about you when it's actually about

them. Placing potential on top of

somebody's head and then waiting for

them to reach it is actually a very

selfish thing to do because what you're

trying to do is mold someone into

something that they're not. So, you have

to tap into your own potential, your

fullest potential first, and then find

people that align with that. And um I

can assure you that it's a much smoother

way of living, so you're not constantly

spending your time trying to change

other people. It's the same reason, I

know this is a little bit off topic, but

it's the same reason that men on average

don't like successful women because

successful or like high value women are

very inconvenient. She has like all of

these things that he's obviously not

used to. She has boundaries. She, you

know, sets a certain set of standards

for herself. She keeps up with the

routine. Usually doesn't keep up with

like crap, like regular toxic crap that

most people want to throw into

relationship. She doesn't keep up with

it. She tells you how it is straight to

your face. And she's like, you either

take it or leave it, but this is how it

is. She's honest. She's secure. And

obviously, for the average person, for

the average man in a dating experience,

especially at my age, like in my 20s,

it's just not a common thing. This is

for my male audience. So, shout out to

my 4% of males on my channel. If you're

really serious about attracting that

type of woman, you have to become

serious about your own life and aligning

yourself so that it's easier for you to

make a match with a woman like that. But

you have to be ready to handle her

because she's not easy to handle.

Especially for a man who hasn't really

selfactualized. He's going to think that

he won the lottery and then he's not

going to know what to do with it. Date

in your league. Be friends with people

in your league. Trust me, this makes the

process so much faster. So yeah, just be

around people who know how to handle you

because you know intuitively who makes

you feel good. I really don't want to

look back in my life and think, "Oh my

goodness, the decisions that I made all

had everything to do with everybody

else." And I never made a decision for

myself. Even when I started on YouTube

for the first time, I was like, "Oh my

goodness, people are going to think I'm

so cringey. People are going to think

I'm this or that. I'm going to get

hate." Like like I had so many thoughts

about it and I was like really doubtful

about doing it. But I ended up being

like, "You know what? If I don't take

this chance, I'm going to regret it for

the rest of my life. If I don't even

just like try or set myself up to be in

a position to like try. And even if I

fail, I fail. I'll try again. People who

try for something are always going to be

ridiculed, criticized, whatever it is.

You're very brave to have tried

something, to have tried for something.

It's okay for life to feel like that

sometimes. It's okay to fail because it

means that you tried for something,

right? Trying is so much better than

never having taken the chance to begin

with. And I think this applies to

anything, business, relationships,

friendships, whatever it is. It will not

serve you to constantly be thinking

about what other people think of you and

then lead your whole life with that

because you are in a prison for your

entire life and you don't even realize

it. Don't make mental prisons for

yourself and don't get trapped in other

people's mental prisons. Again, let

people live in whatever reality they

made for themselves. Don't take it

personally and understand that you can

make a significant difference if you

just stop caring what other people think

of you. you can reach your highest

potential. You can tap into your highest

potential if you stop caring about what

other people are saying about you.

Whatever it is, it's so funny because I

hear so many women saying like 30s is a

new 20s because in your 30 like your 20s

is essentially they're saying it's a

mess because you're stressed out, you're

anxious, you're going through so many

different relationships and friendships

and careers and whatever. And then your

30s is when you get to relax and chill.

And although I think that might be true,

I'm gonna try my absolute hardest to

make my 20s a blissful state for me to

be able to learn all of the things that

maybe, yeah, I would have learned in my

30s if I didn't take myself so seriously

in my 20s. But I plan to make my 20s a

very enjoyable experience. Cuz like, why

should I have to wait 10 years from now

to not care what other people think, to

finally be able to be myself, to make

decisions that actually benefit me and

that make sense to me and that don't

have anything to do with anybody else?

like why do I have to wait another

decade? And the thing is I agree. I

agree. I cannot wait to be 30 because I

see so many women really thriving in

their 30s. They look so much better, so

much fitter, so much healthier, and

happier in their 30s than they do in

their 20s. And I'm excited to get there.

But for now, I don't want to waste so

much time through trial and error. Like,

yes, trial and error is important, and I

think I have to go through them

regardless. But if I can make better

decisions for myself, why why wouldn't I

take that opportunity? When you're in

your 20s, you make very impulsive

decisions. And I'm just practicing how

to not do that because I don't want

always want to make impulsive decisions.

I mean, sometimes from time to time,

you're going to learn from the impulses,

too. And I think that's the purpose of

my channel to begin with as well is like

I think the reason that I'm so grounded

today is because I made certain

decisions years ago that I was like okay

I cannot do this to my life because

there are so many things that are going

to matter in a few years time and I'm

going to thank myself if I really start

putting in the work now. So I hope you

guys come to terms with that and realize

that it's so much better to live this

life without caring what other people

think of you. I know it's not easy but

it's not impossible. And so I hope this

encourages you to try to just live life

on your own terms. So thank you guys so

much for watching today's video and I

will see you guys in the next one.