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Welcome to Adaptable | Behavior Explained! Adopting the right mindset might just change the way you experience life, and make it easier and more enjoyable to learn new things. The narratives we create and the mindsets we adopt change the way we experience the world. They can also have powerful impacts on the body and the mind. Today we bring in Jayden Micah, the author of “My Reading Journal”. Join us as we discuss the importance of mindset in everything from life to business. This is Part 2 of 2
I'm Kelly O'Horo, Attachment based EMDR Therapist, EMDRIA Consultant, and Advanced Trainer. I'm a mom of 5, Nonna of 5, wife, and a healer. I have the honor of spending my workdays walking along side people while they brave their healing journeys. I try to live with the generous assumption that we're all doing the best we can with what we know. Therapists are teachers for the "life stuff" and "emotional vocabulary" that may not have been learned due to gaps in our care givers capabilities. In the last 15 years I've learned that people are freaking amazing, resilient, and inspiring. Most importantly, we are hardwired for connection and for healing!
I hope to bring an authentic, compassionate, and unpolished approach while we explore a variety of topics such as parenting, marriage, relationships, dating, trauma, attachment, adoption, depression, addiction, anxiety, and love! There's a why for all behaviors and an explanation that makes perfect sense as emotion is at the root of it all.
-- Links --
https://linktr.ee/kellyohorolpc
https://youtu.be/rLnARKekvgo
https://www.emdria.org/find-an-emdr-therapist/
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0:06
hi everyone I'm Kell ooro and this is
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adaptable Behavior explained hi
0:12
everybody thanks so much for tuning in
0:14
today uh on our show adaptable I've got
0:17
with us for a second episode Jaden okomo
0:20
who is a tremendous young lady uh who
0:23
has been so fantastic to watch I've
0:26
gotten to see her grow up over the last
0:27
seven years and we are continuing our
0:29
conversation today about mindset so if
0:31
you did not catch the first episode I
0:33
encourage you to tune in so you can get
0:35
to know her better because she is she is
0:37
definitely worth uh knowing better so
0:40
please do so uh so Jaden thank you so
0:42
much for being with us today thank you
0:44
for having me and I think we're just
0:45
going to pick up where we left off
0:47
because uh you were on a roll and I just
0:50
want to pick up that momentum so you in
0:53
the first part of our show you talked
0:54
about successes and overcoming and
0:56
resilience and grit and all these great
0:58
things and your values but nobody gets
1:01
where you're at without failure and it's
1:04
just part of the gig and I want to talk
1:06
a little bit about learning from failure
1:08
and how overcoming is so important and
1:11
also getting back up when we fall down
1:13
and I want to make sure that people
1:15
understand it's not always good and we
1:17
do uh when we get in the arena like
1:19
Berne Brown would talk about it's it's
1:21
not if it's when we're going to fall
1:23
down and get our butt kicked so let's
1:24
talk a little bit about overcoming uh
1:27
adversity perfect so when you think
1:29
about failure or shortcomings or or not
1:32
achieving something that was you know
1:34
that you worked so hard for can you give
1:35
us an example of a time where you know
1:38
the outcome wasn't what you had prepared
1:40
for or planned for yeah and what' you do
1:42
with it yeah absolutely so um growing up
1:46
I was really involved in school I did
1:48
clubs and sports and I just had so much
1:50
fun with it and growing up I went to
1:53
leadership conferences and being a
1:55
leader was something that was always
1:56
really important to me because I do feel
1:58
like I was given a voice and I really
2:00
wanted to use it to help other people
2:02
and so naturally I was involved in
2:04
student council and I worked really hard
2:07
throughout my entire High School career
2:09
to run for student body president one
2:11
day um and how my school did it was like
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the students didn't have that much of a
2:18
say in their executive leadership it was
2:20
more of just like a you vote for who you
2:24
generally want and then a panel of
2:25
teachers will assign positions from
2:28
there and so interesting it wasn't
2:30
really student counsel um and so I got
2:36
200 signatures of students supporting me
2:38
to be president I wrote an essay about
2:40
how badly I wanted to be president and
2:42
not just about how bad I wanted it for
2:43
the title anything like that that was
2:45
never important to me but just how I was
2:47
going to use the platform to make my
2:48
school a better place advocacy and I
2:50
yeah and I interviewed for president um
2:53
and I go to the front office to be told
2:55
what position I'd got and I walk in and
2:57
they go we would like to offer you the
2:59
position a vice
3:01
president and that was just a knife to
3:04
the chest not that I wasn't grateful to
3:05
still be involved and still be a leader
3:07
in some capacity but when you're a girl
3:10
and you just have worked so hard to be
3:12
taken seriously and to be respected and
3:15
to see the position you truly worked
3:17
your entire High School career for go to
3:19
a boy um
3:22
who didn't have the level of Interest or
3:25
passion that you did it is just a
3:28
heartbreaking experience and I'm sure
3:30
that is such a common one for girls in
3:32
our world today that are they work so
3:34
hard for something and they're
3:35
overlooked and what they want was given
3:37
to a boy or given to somebody else and
3:39
you truly feel like you were so
3:40
qualified and it makes you think where
3:41
did I go wrong where did I fall short
3:44
what do I need to change about myself
3:46
how was I not enough like how could I
3:48
they possibly have not picked me it
3:50
leads to like this spiral um and so and
3:53
overc coming that I really had to
3:55
realize like failure is a part of life
3:59
but I didn't fail um things were outside
4:02
of my control there were circumstances
4:05
that I didn't have any control over that
4:06
led to this really unfortunate outcome
4:09
that I really do feel was an
4:11
injustice and that wasn't my fault I was
4:14
never not enough I would have been a
4:16
fantastic president it was not my
4:19
failure that led to this and so I think
4:22
it's so important to learn from failure
4:25
and to learn from when things don't go
4:27
your way but it's so important to not
4:29
internalize
4:30
because failure doesn't Define you and I
4:33
had a really hard time not letting it
4:35
Define me because i' worked my whole
4:37
life for this I went above and beyond so
4:39
much personal and professional
4:41
development went into crafting myself
4:43
into being the best president I possibly
4:45
could have been and it was taken away
4:47
from me and I had to learn like wait I'm
4:50
still a good leader without this title
4:53
opportunity to embody some resilience
4:55
and some learning from those those
4:57
things and helping you you know for
4:59
forward in your future goals on how you
5:02
might want to strategize and things like
5:04
that to really understand what not just
5:07
it's all about how hard I work but also
5:10
there are bureaucracies that are in play
5:12
in these types of things that we have to
5:13
be aware of and awake to and we need to
5:16
learn how to navigate those
5:17
strategically as well so those are also
5:19
lessons that likely came for that for
5:21
you for that experience well and it also
5:24
taught me that my worth doesn't come
5:25
from a title right or a plaque I'm glad
5:28
a pre a piece of paper that said I had
5:31
this role um and it also really
5:33
motivated me to be like okay I know what
5:35
it's like to be wronged and I know what
5:38
it's like to experience Injustice and so
5:40
how do I take this experience and make
5:42
sure when I'm in a position of power I
5:44
make sure it never happens to anybody
5:46
else ever again it truly empowered me to
5:48
be even more ambitious in my advocacy um
5:52
and it's it's a little chip on my
5:53
shoulder I I carry through to this day
5:56
but um it it really did it was an
5:58
experience that taught me so so much and
6:01
I'm I'm so grateful for it so in my
6:04
field we understand that our neurop
6:06
pathways are really in they're really uh
6:10
important to be aware of and how our
6:13
data that we experience in the outside
6:15
world how that informs the way we think
6:18
and so everything is learned we are
6:20
learning species we we grew up in homes
6:23
where we learned things whether it was
6:24
intentionally taught or whether or not
6:27
we just watched and observed and we
6:28
learned how to be some way and emulate
6:30
something or we wanted to learn uh how
6:33
not to be based on things that we
6:34
witnessed and so we are learning
6:37
creatures and success is often times
6:40
neurologically underpinned so when you
6:42
think about the science behind that and
6:45
science principles that would inform
6:47
success for you how do you stay up on
6:50
that information and how do you
6:52
incorporate uh what you know about the
6:54
science of you know mindset and positive
6:57
thinking into your actions and daily
6:59
life and your continued learning to keep
7:01
those things fresh for you well
7:03
obviously I listen to the adaptable
7:04
podcast every week um
7:07
Shameless because we cover a variety of
7:09
topics on this podcast and it's a very
7:11
diverse platform to learn a lot about
7:13
holistic psychology and Psychiatry and
7:16
wellness um but in other ways um I
7:19
listen to podcasts um my church has a
7:22
podcast that they come out with a new
7:24
episode every week and we talk about how
7:26
to apply biblical principles into your
7:28
everyday life and it's really
7:30
fascinating I think people would be so
7:31
surprised to see how hand inand the
7:33
Bible and science go together um because
7:35
they talk about how important it is to
7:36
be grateful and they talk about how
7:38
important moments of Stillness are I
7:40
mean if you look there's like so many
7:42
stories in the Bible of like where
7:44
something crazy is happening and Jesus
7:45
is just taking a nap you know um and
7:48
just so really pointing to moments of
7:50
what we were talking about in the last
7:51
episode of just Stillness and
7:53
mindfulness so I I listen to this
7:55
podcast I listen to my faith podcast um
7:58
I also read a lot of books on like
8:00
self-help and personal development just
8:02
to grow my own mind and my own personal
8:04
understanding of the world around me and
8:06
so I've learned really great um
8:07
strategies and techniques for like
8:09
calming myself down or changing my
8:11
perspective and I think that's such a
8:14
cool thing about the field of Psychiatry
8:15
it's that it's not really reserved for
8:17
like those with phds and like the
8:19
educational Elite with the internet ex
8:21
we have full access to so many Advanced
8:24
things and we can apply it however we
8:26
choose yeah Psychiatry is truly a field
8:28
that is so accessible to anybody
8:30
regardless of demographic status and I
8:32
think that's so amazing it's such an
8:34
equitable field anybody can learn about
8:36
it and improve their own personal
8:38
learning of it and the more you know
8:39
about how we work in the field of
8:41
psychology and and the neurobiological
8:43
underpinings about how we work that'll
8:45
benefit any profession or any career
8:47
because there's one thing that
8:48
everything we do is not devoid of and
8:50
that's the Human Experience and the
8:52
human you know connection and relating
8:55
and communicating with one another is is
8:56
essential in every field so I think
8:58
that's that's that's great advice so
9:00
thank you for that yeah so one last
9:02
question before we close up for today
9:04
how would you uh see yourself in 5 years
9:06
thinking about mindset and your goal
9:08
oriented uh thinking and strategy 5
9:11
years I'm only 20 so that does seem kind
9:14
of far away but um I would definitely
9:17
say I hope to have you know more degrees
9:20
um and be more advanced in my
9:22
professional field but I just truly hope
9:24
I never lose the why not mentality and I
9:28
think something that can get missed when
9:30
you see Highly Successful People
9:33
celebrities philanthropists you know
9:35
just the elite of the world is like we
9:37
we see their highlight reels we see
9:39
their Shining Moments when they're
9:41
accepting their Oscar or their Nobel
9:43
Peace Prize and I think we forget that
9:46
like that's not random um something that
9:49
I really hold near and dear to my heart
9:51
is like people like we were talking
9:53
about with the external validation and
9:55
the accolades like um I do get a lot of
9:57
positive feedback when I announce a new
9:58
project when I announce a new
10:00
accomplishment but people see the final
10:03
product and it's so important to never
10:05
forget that like those Shining Moments
10:07
were not random I don't win lotteries my
10:09
name is not drawn out of a hat for these
10:11
opportunities like there is so much work
10:14
that goes into the behind the scenes and
10:16
so many things that even I'm working on
10:19
a project right now that I've been
10:20
working on since 2023 and it won't come
10:22
into fruition until 2025 so truly like I
10:26
put so much effort into the behind the
10:28
scenes to get me to where I am today and
10:29
I just I hope I never lose that spirit
10:32
and I hope I always remember like why
10:33
not into keeping fearless and going for
10:36
things um and I hope to be in a position
10:38
where I'm helping others that's awesome
10:41
I so appreciate your time today and that
10:44
um you're just like I said before a
10:46
beacon of light and truly inspirational
10:48
human and I cannot wait to see what you
10:51
do with all of these gifts and and
10:53
ambition and perseverance which are
10:55
clearly at the Forefront of how you
10:57
operate in the world and I look forward
10:59
to getting to be on the sidelines
11:01
peeking at you through your future uh
11:03
Endeavors so thank you again so much for
11:06
being here and uh hopefully you got
11:09
something out of this show about mindset
11:11
and perseverance and ambition and
11:13
overcoming because those are all parts
11:15
of our parts of our outcomes and uh
11:19
thank you so much for tuning in and
11:21
don't forget to lead with love it'll
11:22
never steer you wrong
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[Music]
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you
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